AskMen.com Presents From the Bar to the Bedroom: The 11 Rules for Picking Up and Pleasuring Women

AskMen.com Presents From the Bar to the Bedroom: The 11 Rules for Picking Up and Pleasuring Women

by James Bassil
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Overview

AskMen.com Presents From the Bar to the Bedroom: The 11 Rules for Picking Up and Pleasuring Women by James Bassil

Gentlemen, start your engines. From the Bar to the Bedroom is the definitive go–to book for anyone in need of guidance when it comes to bedding the fairer sex, from approaching the woman one wishes to take home to dazzling her once she's there.

Divided into 11 rules, the book begins by helping men learn the fundamentals of confidence and conversation. It moves on to instruct men on the virtues of foreplay, the importance of having a sex–friendly bachelor pad, ways they can pick up women at the gym or at the office, and the variety of techniques and tricks they can use to make her night unforgettable. With tasteful line drawings, loads of tips, and a friendly, humorous tone, it is essential reading for everyone –– from the novice who wants to enter the game to the player who wants to polish his moves.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780062043467
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 10/05/2010
Series: Askmen.com Series , #1
Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 958,635
File size: 4 MB

About the Author

James Bassil is the editor-in-chief of AskMen.com.

Read an Excerpt

AskMen.com Presents From the Bar to the Bedroom
The 11 Rules for Picking Up and Pleasuring Women

Chapter One

Rule 1: Confidence

There's a sea of dating doctors, love gurus, and pickup artists out there, all peddling their own techniques and strategies for landing successful women. And while the advice of these competing experts rarely overlaps, there's a near-unanimous consensus on the one crucial element required for success with women: Confidence. Confidence is the deal-maker and the deal-breaker, and if there's one fundamental rule in the game of love, it's that the first step toward intimacy with a woman is approaching her.

When it comes to approaching women, knowing exactly what to expect is crucial—what may happen, why it happens, and how to overcome obstacles. The main reason so many men fail to approach and talk to women is because they fear the unknown such as the possible slap of rejection. Naturally, the more knowledge you have, the more confident you will be. You need to be ready at all times.

The truth of the matter is that you cannot depend on destiny or coincidence to deliver you into romantic encounters. You must have the confidence to approach women, and if you don't, you must develop it.

Use Confidence to Pick Up Any Woman

Confidence is every man's number-one weapon in the game of seduction.

However, it is one of the hardest character traits to fake, and also one of the most misunderstood. Part of the mystery behind confidence is that most men don't understand its nature. Some think that in order to emit confidence, one must show it through actions alone, while others believeconfidence is acquired through words, and still others think one is born with it. There's also a common belief that confidence is something we can always control, but it is instead dependent on several factors—some of which we have no control over whatsoever.

If you want to master confidence and retain it for life, you must learn to incorporate, monitor, and balance six key elements within your daily routine. The moment you stop, everything can come crashing down with a comment as simple as "You're not my type."

Confidence breeds further confidence, and you will ultimately arrive at a frame of mind wherein your confidence feels like a natural part of your character; a trait that was always there. Arriving at this state, however, will require persistence, fortitude, and patience. Let's start with the basics.

6 Key Elements to Help You Achieve Confidence

1. State of mind

The very first step toward becoming a confident person involves building internal confidence through daily introspection. You're going to have to help yourself by adopting a confidence-building philosophy.

What does this mean? By thinking about and creating exercises of confidence, your body will react and display that confidence. But before you can get there, you need to take a deep and honest look at yourself. You need to learn to feed off your strengths and eliminate—or at least minimize—your weaknesses. For example, if you think that stuttering when you're nervous is one weakness that contributes to your lack of confidence, then practice speaking with as many people (preferably women) as possible until you eliminate that drawback.

You need to develop personal habits that will put you into the right frame of mind and keep your confidence machine oiled and running strong. Try the following to keep yourself motivated:

Talk to yourself: Practice speaking in the morning before leaving the house by clearing your throat and saying aloud, "Good morning. You look damn good. You are number one." It may seem ridiculous and it may feel ridiculous, and you'll likely laugh at yourself over the first few efforts. But your self-consciousness will dissipate as you feel the effects of this positive reinforcement technique gradually take hold.

Keep a list of your strengths: Write down ten traits that will make you invaluable to any woman who's lucky enough to get your attention and time. (Get used to thinking this way about yourself.)

Change negative outlooks into positive ones: Stop being depressed about being single. Instead of worrying about being alone, be happy that you have the opportunity to meet a world of single women.

2. Physical appearance

Your physical appearance plays a very big role in your level of confidence. Not so much regarding how you feel about yourself, but how other people make you feel. Think back to those times when you put that extra effort into your appearance, and were rewarded with approving looks on the street. Now think about the jolt of confidence that those same looks gave you—imagine the effects of receiving them every day!

You should be exercising regularly, maintaining a healthy diet, and making all other requisite efforts in order to give the ladies what they like—a fit, healthy-looking, well-kept, and generally inviting appearance.

3. Your clothes

Your wardrobe obviously plays a significant role in maintaining an inviting appearance. Dress the part and you will fulfill it—the extra swagger in your step when you're dressed to the nines doesn't emerge out of nowhere. This doesn't mean that you need to make every occasion a black-tie affair, but when you do dress down, do so in a manner that remains stylish and flatters your physique and body type. You'll find plenty of assistance in this endeavor in the Fashion channel of AskMen.com.

4. Listening skills

Take a good look at any social situation, and you'll see that the man talking the most and the loudest is rarely the most confident one. When in a conversation with a woman, ration your words and prioritize listening to her. Encourage her to talk more by opening your mouth only to ask open-ended questions (for instance, asking what her favorite color is would be a definite no-no. More on this will follow in Chapter 2).

Handing off the bulk of the conversation to her in this manner will both conceal the nervousness you may be experiencing and give her occasion to focus the discussion on herself—which will ensure that she remembers the conversation as a pleasant one.

AskMen.com Presents From the Bar to the Bedroom
The 11 Rules for Picking Up and Pleasuring Women
. Copyright © by James Bassil. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Table of Contents


Introduction     xi
Confidence     1
Use Confidence to Pick Up Any Woman     2
Always Be Prepared for Sex     7
How to Pick Up Women According to Your Looks     10
Conversation     15
How to Make Small Talk     16
The Pickup: Good & Bad Conversation Topics     18
How to Disarm Women During a Pickup     24
Be Suggestive Without Being Lewd     29
Listen Right for Sex That Night     33
Leave Her Wanting More     37
The Mystery of Silence     38
How to Keep Her on Her Toes     40
6 Pickup Rules Women Want Men to Know     45
Make Her Crazy for You     47
Adapt to Your Environment     51
Approaching Women...Anywhere     52
Handling Competition     55
8 Tips for Nightclub Pickups     57
Want to Pick Up a Barmaid?     59
How to Pick Up at the Gym     64
How to Score a Stewardess     68
Pick Up Women on Business Trips     70
7 Summer Pickup Spots     73
Set the Scene     81
The Ultimate Player's Pad     82
Make Your Pad Sex-Friendly     88
Foreplay First     91
The Importance of Foreplay     92
The Power of Anticipation     94
6 Foreplay Moves She Hates     97
9 Ways to Tease Your Woman     102
5 Fun Foreplay Positions     109
Ladies First     115
Giving Her Oral Pleasure-The Basics     116
Ultimate Oral Sex     119
5 Unique Ways to Go Down on Her     123
How to Buy Her a Sex Toy     132
Location     135
The Best Places to Have Sex     136
Gear Up for Car Sex     140
5 Ways to Go Beyond the Bedroom     146
8 Ways to Love Her in the Shower     148
Joining the Mile High Club     157
Adapt to Her     159
How a Woman's Cycle Affects Her Libido     160
8 Situations That Make Women Want Sex     163
4 Reasons Why She Stopped Having Sex with You     166
How to Overcome a Woman's Fear of Intimacy     168
Positions for Different Body Types     172
Going After the Rebound Girl     182
Pros and Cons of Dating an Older Woman     186
Express Yourself     189
Discuss What You Want in Bed      190
Give Her Feedback About Sex     192
The Best Things to Say to Women in Bed     193
Talking Dirty in Bed     196
Introduce Your Kinky Side     203
Role Playing for Beginners     208
Make Your Mark     213
Be Her Greatest Lover     214
Stimulate Her with 10 Moan Zones     214
Doggy-Style Signature Moves     218
8 Things Women Wish Men Knew About Sex     223
Build and Maintain a Good Sexual Reputation     227

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