When funny, charming, absolutely-normal Audrey Cuttler dumps her boyfriend Evan, he writes a song about her that becomes a number-one hit?and rockets Audrey to stardom!
Suddenly, tabloid paparazzi are on her tail and Audrey can barely hang with her friends at concerts or the movies without getting mobbed?let alone score a date with James, her adorable coworker at the Scooper Dooper. Her life will never be the same?at least, not until Audrey confronts Evan live on MTV and lets the world know exactly who she is!
|Publisher:||Penguin Young Readers Group|
|Product dimensions:||8.32(w) x 5.46(h) x 0.88(d)|
|Age Range:||12 - 17 Years|
About the Author
Read an Excerpt
“Don’t you just love goodbyes?” —Mew, “156”
The day I broke up with my boyfriend Evan was the day he wrote the song. You know, the song. I’m sure you’ve heard it. Maybe you danced to it at prom or sang it in your car on a Friday night when you were driving and feeling like you must be inhuman to be this happy, the windows down and nothing but air around you. Your mom has probably hummed it while cleaning the dryer’s lint trap, and your grandpa has most likely whistled a couple bars. If he’s the whistling type.
According to the poll on the front page of USA Today, sixty-three percent of Americans blame me for the breakup, so let me clear the air right now: they’re right. Sixty-three percent of Americans are no fools when it comes to knowing about my love life, which is really creepy and isn’t helping me sleep well. But it’s true: I broke up with Evan, and eight hours later, he had a song in his head and a guitar in his hand and it snowballed from there.
It took me forever to decide whether or not to break up with him, I can tell you that. It wasn’t like I just woke up one morning and was like, “Hey, let’s liven things up!” Please. I have enough on my plate without all this. I’m a junior, for God’s sakes! It’s not like I have to take the SATs this year or anything. But I had been thinking about it—breaking up—for a while.
“Make a list,” Victoria had said. She’s big on lists and has a folder full of them. They have titles like “Six Colors to Dye My Hair Before I Shrivel Up and Die” and “Five People to Banish From the Face of the Earth” (Evan, according to her, is now número uno). So the day I did it, I sat at Victoria’s kitchen table and wrote down the reasons why I should stay with Evan.
1.He’s a singer/songwriter with a band and actual talent.
2.He has excellent oral hygiene (that one is so important, I can’t even tell you. I can’t imagine ever kissing a non-flosser. So gross.).
3.He says he’s going to write a song about me.
And then I wrote the cons:
1.He smokes too much pot.
2.He’s always “practicing” or “gigging” with his band, the Do-Gooders, especially when I need him.
3.He says “gigging.”
4.He’s mellow about everything. Everything.
5.He makes me be the one to get condoms from the school nurse’s office.
6.He sucks his teeth after he eats, which makes horrible squeaking sounds, like a mouse dying.
And so on. I wrote so many cons that I needed a new piece of paper, and by the time Victoria saw me start a fresh page, she took it away and shook her head. “Audrey,” she told me, “save a tree.”
“Well, can we still be . . . I don’t know, friends? Or something lame like that?” Evan had been cross-legged on his bed when I broke up with him. I was on the opposite side of the room in his desk chair, sitting backwards. We were both crying, but he was the only one who needed tissues. Still, we passed the box back and forth.
“Friends would be great,” I said, and relief flooded through me. Friends were fantastic, friends were not angry at each other and wouldn’t reveal sexual secrets about each other in locker rooms. Friends still talked. Friends drifted apart. “I’d really like being friends.”
He fell on his bed for a minute before sitting back up. “Steve finally got the A&R guy to come to a show of ours. He set up a one-off tonight. You’re really killing my vibe.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, and I meant it. I really did.
“Will you still come?”
“If you want me to, sure.” Anything to make this conversation end, I thought.
Evan nodded and hugged his guitar tighter to him, and I have to admit that in the eleven months we were together, that guitar practically got more action than I did. (Reason number fourteen on the list of cons, by the way.) “You sure you want to do this?”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I’m sure.”
We didn’t talk for a few minutes, and then I got up and said, “I’m going now.” When he didn’t respond, I left the room and was halfway downstairs before I heard him say, “Audrey, wait!” But I kept going, pretending I didn’t hear him calling for me.
That night, I enlisted Victoria and her boyfriend, Jonah, to come with me to the show for moral support. “Like I wasn’t already going?” Victoria said when I asked her. “I’ve already gotten about fifty million texts and thirty million MySpace bulletins about it. And besides,” she added, “I want details.”
During the drive over to the Jukebox in Jonah’s car (he has an awesome sound system with a subwoofer), she made me recount the breakup word for word, with Jonah wincing every few minutes. “Harsh, man,” he kept saying. “That is so harsh.” Victoria finally whacked him on the shoulder. “Can you please be more sensitive to Audrey’s situation?” she hissed.
“Sorry, Aud.” Jonah smiled at me in the rearview mirror. “Sensitivity controls now engaged.”
“And could you not sound like a dork when you do it?”
“It’s one or the other, babe.”
“Don’t worry about it, Jonah,” I told him. “It’s all good.”
Victoria just shook her head and hung over the backseat. “Either way,” she said, “I cannot believe you agreed to go tonight.”
Half an hour later, packed like sardines inside the Jukebox, we were still talking about it. “Did Evan actually say ‘kill his vibe’?” Victoria asked. By now, she was on her third Diet Coke and I could see the caffeine starting to shoot out of her eyes.
I crossed my arms in front of me and stood by the side of the stage, hoping the Do-Gooders would hurry up and play so we could go home and skip the traffic. “Those words exactly,” I told her. “Plus some other choice phrases.”
“What? Like, ‘Fuck you’?”
“No, more like, ‘How could you do this to me?’ ‘I thought we were gonna be together forever.’ That kind of stuff.” I stirred my melted ice with my straw.
Victoria rolled her eyes in solidarity. “Please. He must be a closet romance novel reader. I’m surprised he didn’t break out a lute and try to woo you.”
“If he had done that, I would’ve been more interested.” I took her drink from her and set it down. “You’re making me nervous with all the addictive stimulants. Don’t you know that NutraSweet can give you cancer?”
“So can sunlight.” She took her drink back and made a big deal out of slurping the rest with her straw. “I hope Jonah’s getting me another one of these.”
“I hope he’s also getting you a side of tranquilizers.” I looked over my shoulder and saw a third of our class standing behind us. No one seemed too interested in me. Yet. “Do you think people know we broke up?”
“Have you told anyone besides me and Jonah?”
“Nope. But Evan might have.”
“You’ve totally ruined the pool that people had going for Cutest Couple in the yearbook, by the way. Not to guilt you out or anything.”
“Not me, I mean. I saw this one coming a long time ago. But people were laying two-to-one odds that you and Evan would be cutest couple.”
“People are betting on yearbook superlatives? Really?”
Victoria nodded. “Now the smart money’s on Dan Milne and Janie Couper. She’s worse than static cling.”
I was about to comment on Janie Couper’s static-clinginess, but just then I saw Sharon Eggleston across the room. Even if you’ve never met Sharon, you know her. Every school, I’m sorry to say, has a girl like her. She’s pretty or hot or whatever word you want to use, and she has this weird ability to make every guy worship her.
Every guy, that is, except Evan.
At least, that was the scuttlebutt (PSAT word) when Evan and I first hooked up. Sharon had apparently set her sights on him, he set his sights on me, I set my sights right back on him, we got together, and Sharon found herself on the outs before she was even on the ins. As you can imagine, she wasn’t thrilled. Even to this day, she still shows up to all the shows and smiles at Evan in the halls and generally is an annoying little gnat. And when I saw her across the room at the show that night, she smiled and did that little wave thing that showed off her French-manicured silk tips.
“What are you looking at?” Victoria asked, craning her neck to see, but luckily Jonah elbowed his way back to Victoria and me with her Diet Coke and my cranberry juice with lime. “See, now, Evan wouldn’t have done this,” Victoria pointed out as she took her drink. “He wouldn’t have noticed that you were even thirsty, much less that I was. I mean, you could both be walking in the goddamn Sahara desert and you’d be dying of thirst and he’d be like, ‘Hey, Aud, I’ve got this killer idea for a song.’ Totally useless.”
I swirled my ice with the straw. “Evan used ‘killer’ last year. This year, everything’s ‘fool-ass.’”
“Okay. Audrey? Let me introduce you to something called The Point. You are missing it.”
It should come as no surprise that when Victoria is asked to spell her name, she says, “Like the queen.” She was on a roll now. “I’m just saying that you’ve been really patient with Evan. More patient than I would’ve been—”
Jonah snorted and then became really interested in his drink.“—and I think you just deserve someone who makes you feel special and wonderful and all those good things that you see on TV.”
“I thought you weren’t watching TV anymore.”
Victoria shrugged. “I fell off the wagon.”
If you ever meet Victoria, do not call her Vick, Vicky, Victor, Victrola, Vicious, or anything other than Victoria. If you’re feeling both immortal and bored, though, call her Vicks VapoRub.
Onstage, Jon, the Do-Gooders’ drummer, started to do a halfhearted sound check. If there is a hell, there will be a drummer sound-checking there, I guarantee you. “Oh, God, kill me now.” Victoria rolled her eyes again.
“I’m a weak, spineless girl, what can I say?” I was quickly downing the cranberry juice and wishing it had a kick to it. The problem with the Jukebox is that it’s so local the bartenders know all of us and, more specifically, how old we are, so alcohol’s not happening. Which is why everyone gets wasted in their driveways afterwards. “Plus, the A&R guy’s here and Steve kept promising that he would come and I want to see him in person.”
A word about Steve: Three months ago, the Do-Gooders played a show at the Jukebox, the one where part of the ceiling caved in during their set and it knocked out their amps and they kept playing anyway. (Maybe you saw the article in the local paper. I was there too, and if you look closely at the picture, you can see my hand in the bottom part of the picture—I was cheering them on with the rest of the crowd. I spent the rest of the night picking insulation out of my hair.)
Anyway, Steve was at the show that night. Steve is a freshman at UCLA who smokes tons of weed, goes to class occasionally, downloads MP3s, and has an uncle who knew someone who did A&R at a record label. Steve thought the Do-Gooders were “a-may-zing dude, fucking a-may-zing!” and after the ceiling collapsed and the amps gave out, they all went and hung out at Steve’s dorm room, where they dreamed big, bet each other $20 to drink the bongwater, and agreed to let Steve manage them. As far as I could tell, though, getting the A&R guy to come to the show was the first managerial thing that Steve had done for them.
It wasn’t the first time that someone from a record label had shown up at the Jukebox. I mean, every third person in our school is either in a band, starting a band, managing a band, or breaking up with his or her band. Most of those bands, however, suck. A couple of years ago, there were three seniors who were way into ska and managed to get signed to some tiny label in San Francisco, but I heard the trombone player started doing way too much cocaine and sold his trombone for a couple of grams of something that killed him.
This fame thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Take it from me and the trombone player.
“Do you think they comp the A&R guy’s drinks?” Jonah wondered.
“Of course not,” Victoria replied. “He blows the bartender like everyone else.”
Both Jonah and I cracked up and Jonah looped his arm around her neck and pulled her into him. She is so tiny that when they hug, you can barely see her. She has to stand on the very tips of her toes just to squeeze his neck. “My crazy, slutty girlfriend,” Jonah said, then kissed the top of her head, and for the first time since I broke up with him that morning, I missed Evan. Not that he would’ve kissed me in public, especially before a show, but sometimes it’s just nice to know there’s potential.
I knew Evan was backstage now, or at least what passes for “backstage” at the Jukebox: the loading dock behind the venue. It always smells like beer and piss and garbage, but there’s something exciting about being back there, adrenaline and nerves rushing around and cramming into your heart. Whenever he was about to play a show, Evan’s hands would shake and he’d hold them out to me and I’d see his fingers vibrate like hummingbird wings. “You’re fine,” I would tell him. “You’re gonna be great.” Sometimes I lied when I said it; other times, I meant it so much that it killed me more than lying.
I was about to say something to Victoria about it, something about how weird it was to be in the crowd before a Do-Gooders show rather than backstage with Evan, when she grabbed my arm. “Space!” she cried, and shoved me about six feet toward the speaker.
If you really want to know something about me, you should know this: I like my music loud. I mean loud. I’m not talking the kind of loud where your parents knock on your bedroom door and ask you to turn it down. Please. That’s amateur hour. When I say loud, I mean you-can’t-hear-your-parents-knocking-and-the-neighbors-are-putting-a-FOR-SALE-sign-on-their-house-and-moving-to-another-block-because-they-can’t-handle-the-constant-noise-anymore loud. You have to turn it up so that your chest shakes and the drums get in between your ribs like a heartbeat and the bass goes up your spine and frizzles your brain and all you can do is dance or spin in a circle or just scream along because you know that however this music makes you feel, it’s exactly right.
If you are not this kind of person, then I don’t think we’ll be great friends.
Victoria and I always turn things up to ten. In fact, it’s getting to be a problem because we’ve already blown out the speakers in my car. Twice. The first time, my parents took pity on me and replaced them, but now I have to dig up the cash to fix it. So Victoria and I use Jonah for his car, or we just ride in mine and sing really loud until we laugh so hard, we want to throw up, and Jonah ducks down in the backseat and pulls his hoodie tighter around his head and looks like he wants to just die.
The lights finally went out and the crowd started whistling and clapping. Next to me, Victoria was grinning and wriggling around. She lives for this moment at shows, when the lights are cut and all you can see is the dim outline of a stage and empty mics waiting to be picked up and abused. When the Do-Gooders came out, shaggy and skinny with their heads down, the applause got louder. Even I let out a few whistles.
“Here comes trouble,” Jonah muttered behind me when Evan came out, and I could see Victoria plow her elbow into his ribs from the corner of my eye.
My resolve took a little nosedive when I saw Evan. God, he was cute. Not even cute: hot. H-A-W-T, hot. His hair was shining under the stage lights and he was wearing his beat-up shoes, the ones that looked horrible and smelled worse. I could see him looking out at the crowd and I didn’t know if I was supposed to make eye contact with him or smile or pretend that I couldn’t see him.
Was Evan looking for me, though? His eyes scanned across stage left and never stopped, and I didn’t wave. Next to me, Victoria reached down and squeezed my hand twice.
Seriously, I love her.
“Hi, we’re the Do-Gooders,” Evan said into the mic, and you could hear some girls giggle and swoon. I had never been jealous of them before, but now I felt a small twist in my stomach. Just get this over with, I begged silently. “The name’s ironic.” Ha ha, hee hee. Oh, Evan, you’re a riot. Please. Stop. My sides.
They played through six songs and the crowd danced and sweated on each other and the bass shook the floors under our feet and the roof over our heads. The Jukebox was approximately the size of my parents’ kitchen and the walls would get slick from the humidity of too many people too close together. Onstage, Evan kept shaking his head back and forth in time to the music, his hair pinwheeling and sending little blue drops of sweat toward Bob, the rhythm guitarist, and Daniel, their bassist.
Here’s something you don’t know about Evan: He used to practice that move in front of the mirror. I’m just saying.
Between songs, I finally saw the A&R guy standing next to Steve. Steve had this big, dopey grin on his face (totally high) and the guy next to him was wearing really expensive jeans and enough product in his hair to make it crunchier than celery, and was texting someone. Was he interested? Was he just returning a favor by coming out to see the band? I nudged Victoria and pointed him out, and she looked back at me and twirled one piece of hair around her finger. “Product!” she mouthed over the crowd noise, then wrinkled her nose. Not that Victoria’s hair is naturally spiky or anything, she was just anti–gel for men. Jonah avoids this problem by shaving his head every month or so, which Victoria greatly appreciates.
Evan’s voice pulled me back toward the stage. “This is usually the point where we go backstage and you clap and we do our encore, but we’re gonna skip that middle part tonight and get straight to the music.”
One more song, I told myself. One more song and then I can go to the In-N-Out drive-thru with Victoria and Jonah and get a grilled cheese and a chocolate shake and blast music until my ears want to fall off and Jonah takes me home. One more song and then I can be a normal, average girl without a boyfriend.“This is a new song for us; I wrote it tonight.”
A new song? Everyone in the crowd was talking a little. The Do-Gooders hadn’t written a new song in at least four months, and we already knew all the words to their stuff. The encore was usually just a cover of Oasis’s “Don’t Go Away,” and I already wasn’t looking forward to watching Evan go all emo with the lyrics.
But new song? This wasn’t in my grilled-cheese-and-loud-music plan.
Victoria, I should point out here, is very smart. Sometimes she’s smarter than me. “Uh-oh,” I heard her say, but before I could turn my head to see what “uh-oh” was about, Evan kept speaking.
“My girlfriend Audrey broke up with me today and—”
You know how in movies, the room will be really crowded and noisy and someone will say something that causes everyone’s heads to whip around and stare at that person? Let me tell you something: That happens in real life, too. And it happened to me when Evan said that. Two hundred people in the room, four hundred eyes (actually 399— Jake Myers lost one in a fishing accident when he was six), all of which were burning into me.
Evan hadn’t shut up yet. “Yeah, she broke up with me right before the biggest night of my life—”
“Harsh,” whispered a voice behind me. Guess who.
“And I always said I’d write a song about her and, well, I hope it’s not too late. This one is called ‘Audrey, Wait!’”
Have you ever had brain freeze? That’s what it felt like when I heard the title of the song. I remembered walking down Evan’s staircase, pretending I didn’t hear him. I had made a huge fucking mistake. I hadn’t listened then, so he was making sure I was listening now.
(Okay, so I also have to admit, I was a little disappointed the song wasn’t titled “Audrey, the Hottest Girl I Ever Met,” or “Audrey, That Time Upstairs at the Party (Was Amazing)” or something like that.)
The bass drum pounded hard, just like my heart, and a thin guitar line sizzled up and sliced through the stage, setting the whole band off. It was like nothing they had ever played before. Evan was changing chords so fast and I thought for the briefest moment, Is that how he loved me? Did he really love me like this? I began imagining our reconciliation scene, making out after the show and giggling about how stupid I was for breaking up with him and—
He started singing.
“You said your piece and now I’ve got to say mine! I had you and you strung me on the liiiiiinnnnneeeeee!”
“We said we loved and it was a lie! I touched your hair and watched you die! You crucified my heart, took every part, and hung them out to drrrrryyyyyyy!”
Oh. My. God.
“‘It’s all good!’ you always say! But save it for another day! ’Cause now I’m watching you walk awaaaaayyyyyy!”
Here’s the worst part: The song was good. I mean, you obviously know that by now—I’m not revealing some big secret or anything. But at the time, the whole crowd was about to have a collective heart attack, they were dancing so hard. Even the bartenders, the mean bartenders who are bitter about life and water down the Cokes, had stopped pouring and were drumming their fingers on the bar top. Even the kids who don’t dance, the ones who refuse to show any emotion about anything but still show up at the Jukebox just for something to do, they were nodding their heads to the beat like they were issuing a mob hit. I could see the A&R guy tapping his foot and watching the stage, hungry. Steve was completely bug-eyed and gaping—he’d had no idea this band could produce this song.
Neither had I.
And then the chorus started. Sing along if you want.
“Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait! You walked out the door and I want you to see me slam it shut! Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait! You can say all you want but I want you to know that this is the cruelest cut!”
I swear, if that song hadn’t been about me, if I had never met Evan, I would’ve been on that stage shaking what my momma gave me, it was that addictive. But instead I was rooted to the floor and my jaw was somewhere around my knees. Victoria was next to me, her eyes wide, and Jonah was bopping around behind us, a little unaware of how dire the situation was. I mean, Evan was standing on the stage and singing about me in front of our entire school! If I had been quicker, I would’ve run up onstage and yanked the wires out of the amp, and while I was at it, body-slammed Evan or knocked over the drum kit or something. But I couldn’t move; I couldn’t cry or cheer or talk. Really, it was like being buried alive, the weight of everything in the world crushing my chest, and Evan had the shovel.
“Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait!”
Now people behind us were singing along, and Evan was totally getting off on the crowd interaction. He used to talk about these kinds of moments sometimes, when we were in his bed underneath his California Angels sheets, the afternoon sun peeking in through the shades. “I want to hold the crowd in my hand,” he whispered, and I had giggled and said, “One day you will,” but I mean, come on. The Do-Gooders had only written three songs by that point. Evan wasn’t exactly at the front of the Rock God line.
I finally turned my head to look at Victoria, who kept glancing from Evan to me. “Holy fuck,” her mouth was saying again and again. But even her foot was tapping the floor. She saw me looking and stopped. I was trying to send her messages with my eyes, like, “I think I’m going to die and I want to leave now, please,” but she wasn’t getting it. The place was too dark and too loud. Damn those speakers. Why couldn’t we listen in the back? Why couldn’t I have broken up with Evan tomorrow? Why couldn’t I be a procrastinator like Victoria?
I bet he lied about flossing, too.
“Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait!” The music had stopped now—it was just Evan and a roomful of his new friends, screaming the words at the top of their lungs. The rest of the band was watching the crowd surge back and forth with the kind of look little kids gave Jonah when he took a part-time job as Santa Claus last Christmas. Are you really real? (Side note: Jonah in a Santa costume = Best Christmas Ever.)
“Thank you, we’re the Do-Gooders!” Evan shouted, putting his fist in the air as he pulled his guitar off. The rest of the band walked offstage, but Evan? I swear to God, he strutted.. Just like a chicken.
“Is this really happening?” I grabbed Victoria’s hand and held it in front of me. “Is this a dream? Am I dreaming? Are you about to turn into a Cadillac or is a unicorn gonna run through the room?”
“No, you’re awake.”
I closed my eyes and then opened them wide. “Could you please just lie to me?”Victoria, without taking her eyes off me, pulled on Jonah’s sleeve. “Uh, you might wanna start leading us out of here, sweetie.”
“Is Jonah dreaming? Am I in Jonah’s dream, maybe?” Jonah was holding on to Victoria’s hand, and she had mine, and we were making a little train through the crowd of people.
“No, you’re having a meltdown. You’re going Chernobyl on me. And make your eyes normal—you look like a fish.”
“Is it a bad thing that I can’t feel my feet?”
“Now you’re just being dramatic.”
“Um, excuse me, did you not just see what happened?!”
“Hey, Aud, that was an awesome song!” Kids waved at me as if I’d written The Song. As if I would write it!
“Good thing you broke up with him!”
“Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait!”
I heard that one every time I took a step. Everyone was flushed and excited, like they had just come out of a revival and been saved and had to go tell five friends about what they had seen.
“I’m going to kill them,” I told Victoria.
“No, you’re not.” Jonah tugged her to the left and I zigzagged behind them.
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I’m not going to kill them. I’m going to kill Evan.”
“That would make a fantastic college entrance essay. ‘I Killed My Boyfriend and Still Managed to Maintain a 4.2 GPA and the Lead in the Spring Musical.’”
“Audrey, wait! Audrey, wait!”
“Fuck off, Pete, you asshole!”
“You would never write a song about me, would you, Victoria?”
“I wouldn’t write a song like that about you, that’s for sure.”
“The spring musical?” I was momentarily pulled back from the edge. “When have I ever starred in the spring musical?”
“Fuck if I know. Do we even have a spring musical?”
“They did South Pacific last April.”
Victoria laughed through her nose. “I don’t think I had to be there to know how it went.”
By the time Jonah got us back to the car, I had pulled my hair over my shoulders so that it hung toward my stomach and hid my face. “Buckle up, Cousin Itt,” Jonah said into the rearview mirror.
“Now would be a good time to engage those sensitivity controls again, Jonah.”
Victoria climbed into the backseat with me and we sat facing each other. “So do I kill myself now, or do I wait and do it in front of Evan so he feels really, really, really bad?”
“You’re not going to kill yourself. Remember in health class, when they talked about how us adolescents drink to mask pain? That’s what you’re gonna do.”
“Did they talk about dismembering ex-boyfriends, too?”
“I don’t think we’ll get to that until anatomy next year.”
I laughed as the car lurched forward into traffic. Everyone was looking into our windows and then turning to each other in their cars. I could practically hear what they were saying: “There’s the girl who broke up with Evan! Her, right there!”
“Look,” Jonah said from the front seat. “Don’t worry about this, Aud. It’s just some song. It’s not like those people weren’t gonna find out you broke up, anyway.”
“Listen to the man,” Victoria agreed. “He speaks the truth.”
“Damn straight,” Jonah said. “He’s gonna be so high later that he probably won’t remember the lyrics, anyway.”
“Amen,” Victoria added. “You wanna go to In-N-Out?”
I rested my head against her shoulder and nodded. She knows me so well it’s scary. “Yes. But I have no cash.”
“Neither do I. Jonah, Audrey and I have no cash.”
“Why aren’t I surprised?” he muttered while merging into the intersection.
So while we were in the drive-thru line, while Jonah was yelling our order into the teeny-tiny speaker box, while they were making me a strawberry milkshake instead of the chocolate one I ordered, you probably know what Evan was doing. I mean, he’s talked about it in every single interview he’s ever given. The A&R guy came out onto the Jukebox loading dock and shook all their hands and said things like “You guys rocked!” and dropped some names of label heads and invited them to the office on Monday morning. “Get ready,” he told them. “Your lives are about to change.”
No one told me that my life was about to change, though. They didn’t tell me about paparazzi and magazine editors and publicists and the lawyer my parents would have to hire. They certainly didn’t tell me that all of you people would know my name by the end of the year.
And that’s all you really know: my name.
But not anymore, kiddos.
Here’s my side of the story.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
This is such a great book, i will be honest i started reading it and i got bored and it took me a year to try again and i got hooked! I can't believe it took me a year to sit down and read this, it is one of the best books i have ever read. I can relate to the characters cause it is so real-life. It made me laugh, and even tear up, you will not regret this book, it is a GREAT read!
Benway really pulled me into the novel with exceptional, real-life characters and a great plot. I laughed and teared up while reading this novel and this is a great summer read or just something you want to read when looking for teen fiction.
Hilarious! I read this in two days. I couldn't put it down! It's great for teen girls!
First of all I want to tell everyone how much I loved this book! See my husband and I love music. We listen to more music throughout the day then anything. I do the weekly meme Tune in Tuesday from Ginger at GReads, and I also have my own weekly post called Glee song of the week....yes I am a gleek and I am proud of it. :) So when a fellow blogger told me about this great book that was about a fictional character that is a music buff, I was like...OH MY I HAVE TO READ IT!!! Then I got it for a bargain! You can't beat that?! So I gave it a chance and oh my was it worth it! You meet Audrey who is your typically average teenager. She wants to go have fun, see her friends, and enjoy life. But that can't happen. See Audrey was dating this guy and he was in this band. And on the day of a really big concert of his she breaks up with him. To get back at her, he writes a song called Audrey, Wait! It is about there break up. She doesn't even know how to take it. He life starts turning up side down while still being a teenager in high school. This is probably one of the best books I have read in a really long time. It had everything that you need in a book. Swoon, comedy, fighting, and some suspense. Well you want to know what it going to happen to her next.....lol This book is defiantly a book that I would recommend to any music buff that has a great sense of humor.
Loved this book. I bought this book on a whim because it had such great reviews on the back, I could not find on the front or back of the book a story plot summary. I was so pleased with how good the book was and wanted to read more. Audery is a sassy main character with a funny best friend, and cute boy in her life. I can't wait for Robin Benway to realse another awsome book.
The hilarious novel Audrey, Wait! is a perfect choice for those mature adolescents who love and crave music and high school drama! When Audrey's newly ex-boyfriend writes a song about her, he AND Audrey both become the new celebrities in first their town, then the state and later the nation! Poor Audrey can not even turn on the radio without hearing "Audrey, Wait!" Concerts become crazy parties where paparazzi hide in bushes and school becomes a photo-shoot where everyone is trying to sneak a peek and pic of Audrey and sell it to tabloids! This novel is about teens adjusting to the crazy lives they live and finding who their true friends are. Will they still be your friend after you are known nationally for breaking a rock star's heart? I really like how Robin Benway keeps the lingo recent and helps the younger adolescent audience stay connected. All teenage girls can relate to the "evil girl at school who tires to steal your boyfriends!" However the text does have a downfall. There is more cursing and swearing than I think is appropriate for a book that is available to younger audiences. Not all teenagers can handle the references to sex, partying and cursing without reacting in an immature manner or without becoming offended. Teens should read this because it helps them to try and find the true friends in life who are going to last and will be your friend when you are just yourself, not famous. Overall rating: Is infinite stars an option?
So, after browsing at my local book store, I finally found a suitable book to read. I am very much into Chic-Lit, my new fav genre, and this defiantly takes the cake and moved into my top five favorite books. I finished this book within three days. I usually read a book in one to two days so it was a little unusual. I read some other reviews and they mentioned that it went slower for them too. The plot is thrilling and unexpected, a twist in every scene. I thought it was also unpredictable which made the book somewhat mysterious. I reccomend this book to anyone who wants a good, easy book to read. The main character, Audrey was very edgy and was very unique. She is herself the whole time, not trying to be fake and (SPOILER ALERT) when she did the interview with Evan on MTV, it took a lot of courage for her to come out like she did on live television. I know she is a fictional character, but after reading the author's blog, I applaud the meaning behind the teenage theme of the book. I also just wanted to mention that this girl on youtube, imabookworm13, said she was going to do a review on the book. She's done many reviews so if your looking for some more good chic-lit, check her out.
What do you do when you come to the realization that, behind the pretty packaging, your boyfriend is basically a self-centered narcissist? If you have a brain in your head, you dump him, of course. And that is precisely what Audrey does. Normally that would be the end of the story--except that Audrey's boyfriend has his own band, a modicum of talent, the inspiration for the ultimate break-up song, and a record executive coming to see his gig on the same night that she dumps him. And so, out of Mr. Shallow's pain and anguish, the song, Audrey, Wait! is born, and it's not long before it's sweeping the country and racing up the charts. Suddenly, Audrey is famous and not coping so well. At first, I thought the idea that Audrey would become so famous for simply inspiring a hit song was a little over the top, but when I look around at the number of people who have become famous for doing absolutely nothing other than allowing cameras to follow them through their every waking moment, I had to admit that it's certainly possible. I liked that Benway portrays Audrey realistically, bumbling through her newfound fame and making mistakes that exacerbate the situation (such as talking to a reporter who doesn't register sarcasm, finding out a video of her making out with another singer has gone viral, allows her fame to alienate her from her friends, etc.). I also enjoyed the fact that Audrey and her friends seem authentic. They're sarcastic and intelligent without becoming unbelievably hip, a la Nick and Norah. There are quite a few funny moments, a fairly predictable romance (but, alas, such is the familiar landscape that is young adult lit), and an intelligent, funny, and strong female character. However, what really sold me on the whole concept is Benway's message about the pitfalls of fame--a message teenagers need to hear in a celebrity crazed, electronic media-based society. All in all, this makes for a fairly enjoyable read for adults, but a winning recipe for the target audience (I say this with authority as my female students love this book).
Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway is mix of drama, lots of it, and romance. Audrey becomes famous when she breaks up with her lead singer boyfriend in the Do-Gooders band. He writes a song about their breakup, which becomes number one on the billboards. Her life is turned upside down; she has to stay in the office at school, has to get rid of her job, and has to be followed by paparazzi all day. She tries to stay the same, but it just makes it worse. She learns that she has to trust herself and the decisions she makes are the right ones and ignore what other people are saying about her. The only way to learn this though was to go through it, with her friends and boyfriend, which had its ups and downs, but in the end strengthened their relationships.It took me awhile to get into this book because I couldn¿t connect to it because I am not famous and I do not have to worry about the problems that come with famous, unlike Audrey. However, by the middle of the book I could connect with Audrey because it does get hard to trust yourself with making decisions by yourself, you don¿t want to disappoint the ones that you love. Also, I could connect with Audrey because everyone has fights with their friends, which is what makes your relationship stronger. Just like how no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, including famous people, and your mistakes just help you grow. I liked this book because Robin Benway did a fantastic job incorporating many important life lessons that everyone should and will learn sometime in their lifetime. Reading this book, opened my eyes to so many life lessons that are valuable, but having struggles in life allows you to learn them.
I kind of want to beat myself up for waiting so long to read my copy of Audrey, Wait! Every review I read for it was great but for some reason I kept putting off reading it. I am so glad that I decided to take it on vacation with me this year because I finally found the time to read it and it was fantastic!Audrey Cuttler had no idea that when she broke up with her boyfriend, Evan, he would write a song about it. Well he did. And what's even worse is that it's popular all over the country. Overnight, Audrey went from being nobody special to being the girl in the song and everybody wants a piece of her. Luckily, it seems like her crush is one of those people. James and her are getting closer but how can a relationship work when she can't even go outside without someone trying to take her picture? Will James be okay with it or will Audrey's fame come between all her relationships?Audrey was a fabulous character. She was witty, clever, cute, and just easy to relate to. I felt bad for her because of The Song but I also kind of wanted to be her. She had such great friends and James was absolutely adorable. The fame part probably would have annoyed me though. Her best friend Victoria was there to help her through it. Victoria was crazy and I loved her. She made me laugh so much. Her and Jonah were such a cute couple and such good friends to Audrey when she needed them. Then there was James. You already know how I feel about him. He was just so sweet and funny. He didn't care about Audrey's fame because he had liked her way before that. They seemed to have the perfect relationship and they were a great couple.My only complaint about Audrey,Wait! was the beginning. I had a little trouble getting into the book to begin with but once I got past that part it was so hard to put down. I don't really know why I had a problem with the beginning though. I think it was just that there wasn't a whole lot going on yet and I had to get into to the book for more action to begin. It was well worth it though. =]Overall, Audrey,Wait! is a wonderfully written, hilarious tale of being famous and trying to get through high school. It's been out for a while now so it shouldn't be hard to find a copy if you haven't read it yet and I highly recommend trying to find one.
A light fun book that suggests what it might be like to be a normal girl who suddenly has her name in a top pop song. I really enjoyed this book and found myself appreciating the clever humor and the fairly realistic portrayal of how teenagers actually think and talk. That said, I often wish young adult titles came with a rating. This reminded me of my teen experience, which probably means most parents would not want their teens reading it, especially younger ones, due to some (not excessive) references to drinking and pot.
It's a cute and original story. There were parts in this book that literally made me laugh out loud. It's definitely a fun read, so if you want some lighthearted entertainment, this book would be a good pick.
Title: Audrey, Wait!Author: Robin BenwaySummary: As soon as Audrey dumps her musician boyfriend, Evan, he writes an angry break-up song, Audrey, Wait!, which goes straight to the top of the charts. Suddenly, Audrey is famous and has no idea how to react to all of the people who just won't leave her alone. When hanging out with her best friend is big production she will certainly have issues dealing with her new crush. But the media attention doesn't stop and articles are written about everything: her arm warmers, the Lolita's singer wanted her to be their muse, and what her MTV reunion with Evan.Thoughts: I really loved the wittiness of Audrey and all of her friends. I even felt a little bad for Evan who was in the same boat. I really liked the direction the book went. It was also really interesting when Audrey met her favorite band (Lolitas) and the weren't all they were cracked up to be. However Audrey and even her friends sometimes made cringe worthy choices. It was natural for her to slip up in all of this, but she'd have to know that interview she gave would come off wrong. Also, this author put in the music references really well. It's clear that Audrey is a girl who loves music and not a bunch of song names slapped in to appeal to teenagers. This book was a really excellent, fun read!Rating: 4/5Cover: The cover is lovely. I like the girls pose and the font. I'd seen the old cover before and it didn't spark my interest at all. This one is totally great. My sister saw it and immediately wanted to read the book!
AUDREY, WAIT! is definitely mind-bogglingly good as others have said! Usually I can breeze through the really awesome books, anxious to finish them, but for this book I actually had to slow down because everything was just too awesome to take in all at once! No review can fully prepare you for the awesomeness that is Audrey. She may be the coolest main character that I have ever met - a great sense of sarcastic humor, a joy for PSAT words such as brouhaha (I think this quirk is what made me fall in love with this book), an unpredictable sense of style, and a streak of mischief and mayhem.I admit the scenarios got a little weird as Audrey become ridiculously more and more famous from the runaway hit song. I don't know how Robin got her ideas of how to handle Audrey's fame in terms of attending school, staying employed at an ice cream parlor, and going out on dates - but let me tell you, each and every scenario just kept getting better and better! After reading about Audrey's experience, I am definitely glad that I was not in her shoes (figuratively speaking, but I did want a pair of turquoise boots!).I could go on and on about this book (or simply re-read it again!)! But seriously, what are you waiting for? Go and find this book so you can see why AUDREY, WAIT! is such an awesome book!
Raise your hand if you read this and immediately thought of the popular Hey there Delilah! I know I sure did!While the premises of the book sound more like a predictable romantic comedy straight out of an Hollywood movie, Robin Benway actually makes a great job of making it believable and realistic enough. Audrey and her friends have great personnalities, different from one another, not perfect but still likeable. I was surprised by how quick the pages turned and by how many things were happening in such a short time.Another great thing was the constant presence of music. Audrey lives for it, and you get a feel of it through the whole book ¿ it¿s almost as if the music was a character of the story, helping her through the storm or celebrating with her in the most joyful moments.Obviously, I haven¿t been a teen for a few years, but I felt it was something I could have related to as a teen. Therefore, I wouldn¿t mind recommending it to a girl about Audrey¿s age. There¿s a little cussing, yes, and a little talk about sex, too. But it doesn¿t take over the story, nor does it make Audrey a rebellious teen or a bad exemple. She¿s just, as she¿ll tell you herself, a normal teen wanting a normal life.
Why, oh why did I wait so long to read this book? Despite having Audrey, Wait on my shelf since November, I sort of avoided reading this book. It took some goading from Twitter to get me to crack this one open. Thank goodness I did, because Audrey, Wait! is made of awesome. Sixteen year old Audrey decides her boyfriend Evan just doesn't cut it anymore, so she breaks it off with him. BIG MISTAKE. Evan, being a rocker decides to write a song inspired by the breakup called Audrey, Wait! and what do you know, the song becomes a number one hit and Audrey finds herself the recipient of unwanted fame.I think a character's voice can often make or break a book. If the voice doesn't sound real, I can tell. I think most readers can tell. What I love is when an author writes a character who sounds like someone you know, they seem that real. Granted, I feel like Robin Benway must have based the character of Audrey on my friend Allie who has said some of the things Audrey says about concert-going, and who is also music obsessed. What I enjoyed about Audrey was how fluent she was in sarcasm, some of what she said had me in stitches. There are so many quotable lines in this book too!"'I love music, it's like...' I sighed and put the water dish back down. 'I mean, sometimes it's like the only thing that matters. Sometimes when I hear a great song, it means more than anything, like even my family or friends or anyone.'" pg. 59 On concert going"And (2) do not-again, do not-wear any item of clothing that celebrates the band you're going to see. If you're seeing Band C, do not wear a Band X T-shirt. As Victoria says, 'Don't be That Guy.'" pg. 88 I definitely could see my friend saying that about concerts and actually think she may have said that to me once.Overall, Audrey, Wait! is a fun book. It makes me want to take all the chapter titles, which are songs and create a playlist to listen to while driving. I am not going to go too specific except to say you should read this book if you want something to lift your spirit and put a giant grin on your face. If you like books that affirm the be yourself philosophy of life, then yes, you are going to love love love Audrey, Wait!
If you need one last great summer read before fall hits, check out Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway. Audrey breaks up with her boyfriend Evan, who happens to be the lead singer for a band that's really not going anywhere. Evan writes a song about their breakup, "Audrey, Wait!" that becomes a smash hit. Pretty soon, paparazzi are following Audrey everywhere, and her reputation is, well, shall we say, tarnished? She's just trying to get past Evan, and perhaps spend some time with her shy, rule obsessed coworker at the Scooper Dooper. Things get out of hand.This book was funny, clever, and sweet. I enjoyed Audrey's relationships with her parents, and her best friend and her enormous cat, Bendomolena.
When her boyfriend becomes famous for writing a song detailing their breakup, Audrey faces the consequences of by-proxy fame. Slightly cynical and wildly entertaining, Benway offers readers a teen who has no desire for fame or fortune, an oddity in the see-me-now culture. Audrey¿s conflicted best friend, oddball parents, and retiring new boyfriend are all rich characters that readers can picture moving within the story even when not featured. Teen will appreciate the parallels to Britney, Lindsey and Paris, and while Audrey¿s story is nowhere near as trashy, it is captivating nonetheless. For all libraries, especially where teens are starting to step up from Gossip Girl.
Cute story with likable characters.
Audrey was a nobody. Until she breaks up with her boyfriend and he writes a bestselling song about it. Now everyone knows who she is, and Audrey isn't so sure that she likes it.
One word: AWESOME!I read a blurb - could have been on the cover, I can't remember - that says this book is like a song you can't get out of your head. And it's so true! I'll warn you now, if you've got some plans, don't try reading this book because you're not going to be able to put it down.Audrey tells you straight out how it all happened, what made her life do a complete 180 when her douche ex wrote a song about her. Going through high school sucks any ways (yeah been there, done that). Being the center of discussion (especially if it's bad - and you know it usually is) really sucks. With witty Audrey and her trusty side kick Victoria, they can take it all on, right? Well...that part you'll just have to see. Each chapter in this book kept getting better whether. There are a million and one reasons why I loved it so much. From the fast pace up beat humor to the snappy dialogue, and to my favorite - the music! You'll be tapping your foot and bopping your head in now time! Also you'll laugh your silly butt off and who doesn't enjoy doing that?Robin Benway is definately another promising author from her debut novel. Cannot wait for what book she has in store next!
I Loved Loved Loved it!Reminded me of my fave author's many novels, Meg Cabot. Its been a while since i've read one of her books and Audrey, Wait! really quenched my thirst for a good book!
The reviews I read prior to the release this year were so accurate. This book was totally awesome. I absolutely loved it. I loved the way Audrey tried to stay down to earth and tried to get her side of the story accurate. I loved the way she can speak her mind and her sassy way of doing it. This book was definitely worth reading and I wish I had more to say... but it's too hard. Just go read it for yourself!
Audrey is a normal girl who has just broken up with her boyfriend. Normal, that is, until her boyfriend writes a song about teh breakup that becomes a huge hit and propels her into the spotlight. Suddenly people she hardly knows want to be her friend, paparazzi follow her everywher, and she unintentionally starts new fashio trends. She hates the fame, but what she doesn't like even more is that no one knows her side of the story. And when she finds herself with a new boyfriend, will the pressure of fame ruin their relationship?
When Audrey breaks up with her wannabe-rockstar boyfriend, Evan, on the day that his band is to perform for an A&R guy, she has NO idea that he would make that breakup into a nationally famous Number One Hit song. Suddenly her life is turned upside-down: her outfits, outings, and love escapades become hugely discussed issues in the tabloids. All Audrey want is to be normal again, because that¿s who she IS: a normal girl who loves loud music and works at the Scooper Dooper ice cream shop for money for her music obsession.Of course, this unwanted newfound fame changes the relationships in Audrey¿s life anyway, whether it¿s with her parents, her funky best friend Victoria, or her Scooper Dooper co-worker, a quiet, tall, skinny Irish classmate by the name of James, who turns out to be much more than just an awkward co-worker. However, rumors about her, James, and Evan begin to fly as soon as the paparazzi catch wind of Audrey¿s new boyfriend. Really, now, how¿s a girl to deal with it all?I loved Audrey in this refreshingly exciting novel! Audrey is the kind of cool and witty character who doesn¿t get enough attention in the young adult genre. Despite the slightest excessive use of profanity, which might bother more sensitive readers, this book will make you laugh and cheer out loud in places where you shouldn¿t be snort-laughing at Audrey¿s hilarious narration. This is without a doubt one of the best novels I have read thus far this year.