Away Laughing on a Fast Camel (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #5)

Away Laughing on a Fast Camel (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #5)

by Louise Rennison

Audiobook(CD)

$46.75
View All Available Formats & Editions

Overview

The fifth book about Georgia Nicolson from #1 New York Times best-selling author Louise Rennison!

Georgia is boyfriend-less now that Robbie the Sex God has gone off to New Zealand to tend sheep. Just when Georgia thinks her snogging skills are about to dry up, she meets the new lead singer for the Stiff Dylans -- a deliciously snoggable Italian-American boy named Masimo! But it's not love at first sight for Masimo...

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781419301544
Publisher: Recorded Books, LLC
Publication date: 10/25/2010
Series: Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series , #5
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 1.50(h) x 5.00(d)
Age Range: 12 - 17 Years

About the Author

Louise Rennison was a British comedian and the internationally bestselling and award-winning author of the angst-filled Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series as well as the Misadventures of Tallulah Casey series. Her first novel, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, received a Michael L. Printz Honor Award in 2001, was adapted into a feature film, and has become a worldwide bestseller now translated into 34 languages. She was also awarded the Roald Dahl Funny Prize for the first book in her Tallulah Casey series, Withering Tights.

Read an Excerpt

Away Laughing on a Fast Camel AER

alone, all aloney,
on my owney

saturday march 5th

11:00 a.m. as the crow flies

Gray skies, gray cluds, gray knickers.

I can't believe my knickers are gray, but it is typico of my life. My mutti put my white lacy knickers in the wash with Vati's voluminous black shorts (!) and now they are gray.

If there was a medal for craposity in the mutti department, she would win it hands down.

I am once again wandering lonely as a clud through this Vale of Tears.

I wish there was someone I could duff up but I have no one to blame. Except God, and although He is everywhere at once He is also invisible. (Also, the last person who tried to duff God up was Satan, and he ended up standing on his head in poo with hot swords up his bum-oley.)

11:20 a.m.

This is my fabulous life: the Sex God left for Whakatane last month and he has taken my heart with him.

11:25 a.m.

Not literally, of course, otherwise there would be a big hole in my nunga-nungas.

11:28 a.m.And also I would be dead. Which quite frankly would be a blessing in disguise.

12:00 p.m.

It is soooo boring being brokenhearted. My eyes look like little piggie eyes from crying. Which makes my nose look ginormous.

Still, at least I am a lurker-free zone.

Although with my luck there will be a lurker explosion any minute.

Alison Bummer once had a double yolker on her neck; she had a big spot and it had a baby spot growing on top of it.

I'll probably get that.

12:05 p.m.

Phoned my very bestestpally, Jas.

"Jas, it's me."

"What?"

"Jas, you don't sound very pleased to hear from me."

"Well . . . I would be, but it's only five minutes since you last phoned and Tom is just telling me about this thing you can do. You go off into the forest and — "

"This hasn't got anything to do with badgers, has it?"

"Well . . . no, not exactly, it's a wilderness course and you learn how to make fire and so on."

Oh great balls of merde here we go, off into the land of the terminally insane, i.e., Jasland. I said as patiently as I could because I am usually nice(ish) to the disadvantaged, "You are going off on a course to learn how to make fire?"

"Yes, exciting, eh?"

"Why do you have to go on a course to learn how to open a box of matches?""You can't use matches."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a wilderness course."

"No, wrong, Jas, it's a crap course where people are too mean to give you any matches."

She did that sighing business.

"Look, Georgia, I know you are upset about Robbie going off to Kiwi-a-gogo land."

"I am."

"And you not having a boyfriend or anything."

"Yes, well . . ."

"And, you know, being all lonely, with no one to really care about you."

"Yes, alright Jas, I know all th — "

"And the days stretching ahead of you without any meaning and — "

"Jas, shut up."

"I'm only trying to say that — "

"That is not shutting up, Jas. It is going on and on."

She got all huffy and Jasish.

"I must go now. Tom has got some knots to show me."

I was in the middle of saying, "Yes I bet he has . . ." in an ironic and très amusant way when she brutally put the phone down.

12:30 p.m.

Alone, all aloney.

On my owney.

The house is empty, too. Everyone is out at Grandad's for lunch.

I was nearly made to go until I pointed out that I am in mourning and unable to eat anything because of my heartbreak.

Mine is a pathetico tale that would make anyone who had a heart weep, but that does not include Vati. He said he would gladly leave me behind because talking to me made him realize the fun he had had when he accidentally fell into the open sewers in India.

1:15 p.m.

Looking out of my bedroom window. Entombed in my room forever. Like in that book The Prisoner of Brenda or whatever it is called.

Except I could go out if I wanted.

But I don't want to.

I may never go out again.

Ever.

1:30 p.m.

This is boring. I've been cooped up for about a million years.What time is it?

Phoned Jas.

"Jas?"

"Oh God."

"What time is it?"

"What?"

"Why are you saying 'what' for? I merely asked you a civil question."

"Why don't you look at your own clock?"

"Jas, have you noticed I am very, very upset and that my life is over? Have you noticed that?"

"Yes I have, because you have been on the phone telling me every five minutes for a month."

"Well, I am soo sorry if it is too much trouble to tell your very bestest pal the time. Perhaps my eyes are too swollen from tears to see the clock.""Well, are they?"

"Yes."

"Well, how come you could see to dial my number?"

Mrs. Huffy Knickers was so unreasonable.

"Anyway, I'm not your bestest pal anymore. Nauseating P. Green is your bestest pal now that you rescued her from the clutches of the Bummer twins."

I slammed down the phone.

Brilliant. Sex Godless and now friend to P. Green, that well-known human goldfish.

Sacré bloody bleu and triple merde.

And poo.

Oh Robbie, how could you leave me and go off to the other (incredibly crap) side of the world? What has Kiwi-a-gogo land got that I haven't? Besides forty million sheep.

I think I'll play the tape he gave me again. It's all I have left to remind me of him and our love. That will never die.

Away Laughing on a Fast Camel AER. Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Table of Contents

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

Away Laughing On A Fast Camel (Digest Edition) (Turtleback School & Library Binding Edition) 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 125 reviews.
Nakeba McKoy More than 1 year ago
was this book made into a movie
59Square on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is the fifth in the series of Georgia Nicolson books, and I noticed this one took me a lot longer to read than other books in the series. There were less funny parts and it seemed more parts that were trying to be funny. But this is still a really great book about friendship - even though Georgia spends a lot of time trying to find her next boy catch, she is all about her friends. She has one friend who she fights with constantly, but they make up within an hour because they can't stand to not talk. So this is a cute series. But I do think it's lower level because it's pretty simplistic, except for the British slang which might confuse younger readers.
jrlandry1410 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a very charming comedy novel for pre-teens. Ms. Georgia Nicolson (the books main character) may hail from Great Britain, but her problems are universally shared by almost every other adolescent girl in the world. Dealing with fickle boys, embarassing parents, a mad little sister, and a psycho cat isn't easy, but Georgia handles it all with amazing sophistocosity (or so she thinks). A great book for young people about to enter the troubling time of teenager-dom.
alanna1122 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I love these books. Rennison has created such a distinct voice in Georgia Nicolson. It amazes me how quirky and yet consistent she has made the speech patterns and behavior of the characters throughout this series of novels. Even Angus the cat has maintained the same crazy personality since book one. Another thing that I love about these books is that the plot is so slow. The period of time that a book covers is sometimes not more than weeks but yet in the lives of these teenagers epic things are happening every day and the pacing that Rennison uses really reflects perfectly how time felt to me as a teenager.This fifth novel of the series reads every bit as fresh and fun as the four that preceded it.
EmScape on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Fun, funny, silly, and tres amusant, this fifth installment of the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson just keeps being the same amount of fun. I was going to say that it keeps getting better, but that's not exactly true. It gets a little bit more unbelievable, as apparently no matter how much weird stuff Georgia does or says, people in her life still seem to adore her, especially boys. It has been my experience that the average-looking, funny girl (no matter what the size of her nunga-nungas, does not manage to capture the interest of not one, but two, highly-sought after, Sex Goddy, lead singer(s) of a popular band, and Dave the Laugh as well. Possibly, however; these things do happen in England. In that case, I wish to go back in time and force my parents to move to Brighton or some other quaint British town. Still, so much fun to read, and I will be waiting with baited breath for the next volume.
lilibrarian on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Further humorous adventures of Georgia Nicolson.
moran42093 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I didn't know what was going to happen next so it was very surprising. Humorus, I would recomend this book.
midnighttwilight101 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The Georgia Nicolson Series by Louise Rennison is one of my favorite series of all time. The first book in the series is called Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging, this book will keep you laughing at every turn. The first time I remember reading on the back ¿Do not read in public, you will laugh out loud¿ or something like that, yet I still read it in school, and ended up making a fool of myself.
forgetregretx on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Again, I love this series.
indygo88 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
#5 in the continuing saga of Georgia Nicolson. Yes, they're starting to lose their initial appeal after this long into the series, but they're fun for a very quick read. And I'll probably continue on with #6, as Georgia prepares to bombard America....!
IzzyInTheAlley on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I cant say too much with out telling you the plot, although I can asure you its just a wonderful as the rest of the seris.
Jenson_AKA_DL on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
With the Sex God away in Kiwi-a goo-goo land snogging marsupials and only writing to Georgia about thermal activity, Georgia is fully into her sadosity phase. That is until the new gorgy singer for the Stiff Dylans shows up. Suffering from a flash return of red bottomisity Georgia pulls out all the stops to snare the Sex Meister. Unfortunately this includes having her eyelids accidentally glue together with her boy entrancers at a most inopportune moment. Lucky for Georgia she always can turn to her Master of the Horn instructor, Dave the Laugh for a bit of advice (and a happy round of snogging).The more I read of Georgia Nicolson's adventures the more I find myself chuckling. Coincidentally I have recently found myself involved in discussions of Wuthering Heights which Georgia fondly referrs to as Blithering Heights when it becomes her assigned reading. Perhaps it is a sign that I should expand my reading base to classics as well. Cosmic analogies aside I thoroughly enjoyed this story and am anxious to see what will happen to Georgia when she reaches Hamburger-a-goo-goo land and tries to track down Masimo in the next book.
meerka on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
All good taste out the window, I just love these silly little books for pure frivolity.
xandreax on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I have read the books before this one and I still think "Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging" is the best and made me laugh the most but I still laughed a few times reading this one. I found it to get better and more interesting as it went along. I think the Georgia Nicolson books are perfect light kind of reading, when I don't feel like reading something with a serious plot. Georgia's original & interesting personality is still very apparent in this book and I haven't gotten tired of it. Just bought the next two books in paperback =)
kpickett on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
With the cat away, the mice will play. Now that the Sex God aka Robbie is away in Kiwi-a-gogo land, Georgia has set her sights on a new vespa riding italian boy, Masimo. As usual, Georgia makes an idiot of herself trying to get the new boys attention which will bring laughs to all readers.
wwjules on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is such a delightful series! My only complaint is that as soon as I finish reading one, I want to read the next one immediately!
Mindy_Lou More than 1 year ago
LOVE THEM.. The series is FUNNY.. I think the only thing the author should have done was add a snog chart in the back of the book so you can remember what the number meant..
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have the actual book. I got it for 99 cent (used). I have not read the other books, but i have watched the movie. I stopped reading this book after about page 15. It seems like georgia will just be sobbing into her diary the whole time complaining about the *sex god* and how he went to Kiwi-a-gogo land to snog sheep, but if you like all the other books alot then take a chance on this 1
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Lilly Najafzadeh More than 1 year ago
it was the most enjoyable funny book ever!!! i absolutley love the series.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago