Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family

Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family

by Amy Sprenger
4.3 39


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Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family by Amy Sprenger

From the author of the award-winning blog Snarky Mommy comes a book that will make every woman who has ever been pregnant pee with laughter (not that that's hard).

Wearing her highest heels and hottest pregnancy jeans, Amy Sprenger marched into her doctor's office, latte in hand, ready to finally see whether her baby was a boy or a girl. Sure, sure, this appointment was supposed to be about checking the health of the baby, but everyone who's ever been there knows it's really about looking for what lays, or doesn't lay, between the legs.

So when the doctor tells her she has an incompetent cervix, Amy does what any woman would do. She becomes immediately offended. Is that a politically correct way of saying her cervix sucks? Unfortunately, as she's soon to learn, it's a lot more than that. The only way to keep that baby from falling out on the sidewalk (probably in front of Starbucks) is for her doctor to stitch her cervix closed and for Amy to stay in bed for the next four months.

Four months that are carefully detailed in this "memoir." A memoir that, while basically true, has been embellished with Amy's signature brand of humor and hilarity.

With more time off than a castoff contestant on "The Bachelor," Amy took pen to paper and settled in for the ride. But instead of sitting around eating bonbons, she's popping hypertension drugs to stave off preterm labor. And complications? Oh, she's got your complications. She's gut-rehabbing her house. Her mother moves in to care for her. Her husband takes a "mancation" while she's stuck in the hospital. And every time she has a contraction, she's convinced it's The Big One.

Living by the adage that laughter is the best medicine, Amy fumbles her way through a series of sometimes serious and usually embarrassing situations. And just to be clear, using a bedpan qualifies as both serious and embarrassing.

"Amy Sprenger's foray into factual fiction is a hilarious (and sometimes poignant) look at high-risk pregnancy from her view at the end of the bed. Sprenger offers a fresh and funny voice that readers will love!"
--New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781937349448
Publisher: Beyond the Page Publishing
Publication date: 08/28/2012
Pages: 206
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.44(d)

About the Author

Amy Sprenger is the author of the award-winning blog, where she tells it like it is and isn't afraid to make fun of herself or her questionable parenting prowess. She has three kids under 6 and a penchant for getting herself into ridiculous situations. A former news and sports reporter, Amy lives with her husband and children in Chicago's Lincoln Park neighborhood. She often wonders why she doesn't have a live-in nanny, a closet full of Lululemon workout clothes and perfectly behaved children dressed head-to-toe in Ralph Lauren like all the other mommies in her 'hood. Then she remembers she hates those mommies.

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Baby Bumps: The Almost, Barely, Not-Quite-True Story of Pregnancy, Bed Rest and One Batshit Crazy Family 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 39 reviews.
TexasMomma1 More than 1 year ago
This is a funny story about a pregnancy filled with complications and ironic situations, but instead of crying about her plight, the main character, Annie, makes us laugh – both with her and at her. Annie and her husband, Jake, are in the middle of rehabbing their house when they find out unexpectedly that she has a serious problem with her pregnancy. While she’s on bed rest, Annie’s mom moves with them and her husband goes on a snowboarding trip (I would strangle my husband if he did this to me!). I won’t give away too much, but Annie eventually goes into labor and like the rest of the story, it’s not what you would expect. I thought this was a fun read and would recommend it to anyone who likes stories about pregnancy and motherhood.
lonek8 More than 1 year ago
Fabulous read from a first time (but not last time) author! This hilarious and mostly true story of pregnancy complications will have you laughing out loud - I read it in one sitting it was so good! A definite must for anyone who has been pregnant, is pregnant, or wants to get the real nitty gritty on high risk pregnancy in the funniest way possible! Don't miss!
Iwrite2 More than 1 year ago
This is a must-read! I woke my husband as I laughed outloud reading this funny, fast-paced book late into the night. The dialogue is hilarious. I hope Amy Sprenger writes a sequel...I want to know how Annie, Jake, and that miracle baby, Jack, continue their crazy life.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I highly enjoyed this book for start to end! It was a quick read that kept me laughing out loud. I had to stop and read several hysterical lines to my husband. Amy is a very talented writer and I can't wait to see what is next by her.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am currently going through a problem pregnancy and this hit home with me. Amy Sprenger manages to make something scary seem funny. This book was a great distraction during my own bedrest.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
What a great book! Laughed out loud at so many points along the way. :-)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
People need to lighten up. This is a work of fiction but people r taking it too seriously. It is funny and well written and mothers all over the world can sympathize with what the author went through.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. I thought it was so funny and kept me wanting more. I can't wait to read more of Amy's books!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I never wanred to put it down. It made me laugh out loud several times. I can't wait for the next one!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Get ready to laugh as you work your way through Annie's high risk pregnancy. As a mom who experienced every single challenge as she, minus the "incompetent cervix", I found myself reliving my last pregnancy 16 years ago. Her rendition was right on and she shared it in a entertaining and humerous way. Finishing the book today, (it is a rewarding short read), I too was wondering how her next two pregnancies progressed and what has happened since Jack entered the world. I checked out her blog and found it to be upbeat and entertaining as well. Annie - here is hoping that you break into the top B&N 100 list. Thanks for taking me down memory lane.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved this book. I read it in one night and couldn't put it down. It was hilarious and snarky and all the things that you would expect after reading SnarkyMommy. This is my new go to gift for my pregnant friends, or my slutty friends who are soon to be pregnant :) This is a must read- except that it will scare the crap out of you when thinking about childbirth.
esalbilla More than 1 year ago
I've been reading the author's blog for quite a while now and I knew that I'd enjoy this book - I found myself having to explain to my husband why I was laughing. It was a great quick read and I hope there's more where this came from.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Read this book in two days and liked it. I went and looked up the author’s blog after finishing the book and spent several hours laughing as I scrolled through her archives. Do yourself a favor and check out
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have been a fan of Amy’s blog for many years. As someone who read about the pregnancy problems when they were happening, it made me laugh out loud to remember some of the crazier stuff. Amy does a great job bringing her voice to the story and making readers laugh.
Wendy237 More than 1 year ago
This fast, funny read is great for moms-to-be or new moms who like a good laugh about their now forgotten pregnancy trials.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Liked this book. Could have used more backstory, but it was a fun read.
Mom28 More than 1 year ago
Loved this fast-paced read. If you're about to be a mom (or even if you're not), you should check it out.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I followed SnarkMommy's blog for years and was so excited to find this book available already. I stayed up late reading and wasn't disappointed!
Marshamarsha More than 1 year ago
I found Baby Bumps by accident and I am so glad. I found this book moving, funny and poignant all at the same time! My favorite part was how Mom moves in to keep her honest about staying in bed all the while her husband is working out of town and the rehab work is going on throughout the house. Even though I am a senior citizen I was laughing and crying through out the book and I hope that there are other books by Amy Sprenger to come very soon! What a refreshing new author!
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