Baby Out of Wedlock: Co-Parenting Basics From Pregnancy to Custody

by Jim And Jessica Braz

Overview

"Skillfully outlines how to prepare for and raise a child out of wedlock."

-Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

Winner of SIX Literary Awards (see below for details).

Baby Out Of Wedlock is the first and only guidebook written specifically to help the millions of unmarried parents who find themselves involved with an unexpected pregnancy.

This award winning book answers all the basic questions regarding paternity tests, co-parenting relationships, child custody laws, visitation rights, support payments, and much more. The result is a better relationship with your co-parent and lower attorney fees.

Each author has a child born out of wedlock from their previous relationships. They both stumbled through terrible custody battles, making many rookie mistakes that led to important lessons learned. The information offered here could quite literally save you thousands of dollars, especially if you and your co-parent both read it. You will need an attorney to get through this no matter what, but once both parents understand what is reasonable, there should be no need for a costly, drawn-out custody battle.

By reading this book, you'll learn how to write an effective Parenting Plan and how to enforce it without repeated trips back to court. Since the authors have experience in both the mother's and father's perspectives on these issues, you will get balanced, gender-neutral advice on protecting your parental rights while learning how to get along with your co-parent for the long-term.

In addition to a Kirkus Starred Review (https: //bit.ly/KirkusStarBoow) and the other favorable editorial reviews shown below, Baby Out of Wedlock has won four literary awards:

1. Chanticleer Book Awards, Winner 2021 1st Place Non-Fiction, Instruction & Insight Category https: //bit.ly/BOOW_CIBA

2. Readers' Favorite, 2021 Gold Award Non-Fiction, Parenting, https: //bit.ly/RFGoldAward

3. CIPA EVVY 2021 Awards, Winner 1st place Non-Fiction, Parenting & Family https: //bit.ly/CIPAAward

4. NYC 2021 Big Book Awards, Distinguished Favorite, 2021 Parenting & Family

https: //bit.ly/BOOWBigBook

5. Literary Titan April 2021, Gold Book Award

The description of the Gold Book Award can be seen here: https: //literarytitan.com/bookawards/

The list of all previous award winners is shown here. Baby Out of Wedlock is about 24 up from the bottom of the Gold list (as of June 2021). https: //literarytitan.com/bookawardwinners/

6. She's Single Magazine - 2021 Best Relationship Book Award https: //bit.ly/ShesSingleAward

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781736816806
Publisher:	Boow LLC
Publication date:	05/30/2021
Pages:	204
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.43(d)

About the Author

Years before Jim and Jessica Braz married, they each had a child born out of wedlock with another partner. They wrote Baby Out of Wedlock to answer basic, but common questions about this situation, thereby reducing legal bills and leading to healthier co-parenting relationships. You can read more about Jim and Jessica's journey along with their sound advice by visiting their website at https: //babyoutofwedlock.com

Table of Contents

1 | Why Read This Book?...1

Purpose of This Book...2

What Makes Us Experts? . . . 3

Jim's Story...4

Jessica's Story . . . 6

Your Story...7

Changing Your Story . . . 8

2 | Surprise, I'm Pregnant . . . 11

Paternity Tests . . . 12

3 | First Things First . . . 15

Abortion? . . . 15

Adoption? . . . 17

Single Parent, Co-Parent, or Married Parents? . . . 19

Should You Get Married Now? Later? Ever? . . . 20

4 | Play Nice...23

Freaking Out . . . 24

It's Harder on the Woman . . . 27

Ask, Don'tTell...28

Type A or Type B?...30

Everything Will Change . . . 32

Co-Parenting Decision-Making . . . 33

High-Conflict Relationships and Parallel Parenting . . . 35

5 | Pregnancy and Infant Questions . . . 39

Doctor Visits during Pregnancy . . . 39

Pregnancy Dos and Don'ts . . . 41

Miscarriage and Premature Birth . . . 43

Ultrasounds and Genetic Testing . . . 45

Umbilical Cord Blood Banks . . . 46

Hospital vs. Alternative Birthing . . . 49

C-Section vs. Natural Birth . . . 53

Vaccinations . . . 55

SIDS and Sleep Training . . . 57

Breastfeeding . . . 59

Postpartum Depression and Other Issues . . . 60

Substance Abuse . . . 62

Parenting Styles . . . 64

6 | Legal Questions . . . 71

Pregnancy Discrimination and Maternity Leave . . . 73

Finding a Good Family Law Attorney in the Right Location . . . 75

Custody - Physical vs. Legal and Sole vs. Joint . . . 79

Visitation Rights . . . 86

Custody Litigation Timeline . . . 91

Evidence in a Custody Case . . . 101

What Is a Parenting Plan? . . . 106

Dispute Resolution . . . 113

What Is a Parenting Coordinator? . . . 116

What Is Arbitration? . . . 121

A Sample Consent Order and Parenting Plan . . . 122

7 | Financial and Child Support Questions . . . 147

Child Support Calculations . . . 148

More about Child Support Calculations . . . 152

Medical Expenses and Extracurricular Activities . . . 154

Private School and College Savings . . . 156

Payment Mechanisms and Enforcement . . . 158

Attorney Fees . . . 161

Recalculating Child Support When Circumstances Change . . . 164

Baby Gear-Buy It or Save Your Money? . . . 168

8 | Getting Along for the Long Term . . . 177

What If I Want to Move?...178

Makeup Visits . . . 180

Transitioning the Child from Parent to Parent . . . 181

Religion ...183

Stepparents . . . 184

Discipline-Different Homes, Different Rules . . . 186

Communication . . . 187

Child Comes First . . . 190

The Big Picture . . . 192

Connect with Us . . . 193

About the Authors . . 195

Editorial Reviews

Skillfully outlines how to prepare for and raise a child out of wedlock... and the authors tackle all of those complications with warmth, sympathy, and a very approachable style. Readers dealing with these kinds of issues will find this book invaluable, particularly with regard to negotiation. - Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"Baby out of Wedlock is the right book for you if you are expecting a child with someone you have no intentions of settling with. The authors use facts and statistics to support their arguments and are friendly and honest allowing the reader to feel like they are not alone. They advise against thinking of the pregnancy as a mistake, especially if things fail to work out with your partner. The authors are practical and share nuggets of wisdom for both young and seasoned co-parents." -Winner Gold Award and 5 stars from Literary Titan Reviews

Baby Out of Wedlock is a handy tool that will help millions of new or soon-to-be-mothers or fathers who are not in a conventional marriage. The tips in the book are a good way for parents to understand their parenting rights while doing what is best for their child and provide answers that they are looking for efficiently and straightforwardly. Regardless of race or socioeconomic background, the authors also tackle the basic questions about co-parenting relationships, paternity tests, child custody laws, visitation rights, support payments, and much more. - 5 stars from Readers' Favorite

"I highly recommend Baby Out of Wedlock to anyone who wants to learn the complicated dynamics of co-parenting while emphasizing the child's needs first." - Kevin Falkenstein, Esquire, Partner of the Family Law Practice at Moustakas Nelson, LLC

"My work focuses on what can eventually happen in a worse case situation. Unmarried parents who read Baby Out of Wedlock are taking a first step in the right direction." - Ginger Gentile, Director & Producer of the documentary Erasing Family and one of Maria Shriver's Architects of Change

"In my behavioral health practice, I often see the emotional toll that custody battles have on unmarried parents and their children. Baby Out of Wedlock can make a difference in both parents' and their children's long-term mental health." - Francesca Santacroce, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner, Serenity Behavioral Health

"When a client is knowledgeable about the basics of family law, it makes my job easier, and everyone benefits. Baby Out of Wedlock is a great primer for anyone navigating the pregnancy-to-custody continuum." - Jessica E. Smith, Family Law Attorney and Partner at JSDC Law Offices

"Pregnancy out of wedlock can be an incredibly scary experience. This book, with its emphasis on the importance of mental health, is a great guide. It helps readers know they are not alone." - Rachel Cohen, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Clinical Supervisor at The Soho Center in New York City

From the Publisher

★ 2021-06-03
A complete guide to having a baby without being married.

Jim and Jessica Braz begin their book with some eye-opening numbers: nearly 40% of all births in America take place with unmarried parents—1,500,000 children are born out of wedlock every day. Those parents will have lots of questions, and the authors answer many of them here. Some topics will be familiar to parents reviewing information on childbirth: miscarriages, C-sections, vaccinations, and sudden infant death syndrome. But given the book’s emphasis on co-parenting that happens without the benefit (social and legal) of a marriage contract, much of their book deals with varying concepts of cooperation, ways for two people who are not technically bound to each other to work together for the sake of their child. The authors have been through this personally (they are married now, but each has had a child out of wedlock) and know the intricacies of, for instance, dealing with lawyers, warning their readers, “some attorneys are more interested in increasing their billable hours than doing what’s best for you.” If the need arises, it’s the lawyers who’ll establish the limits of sole physical custody, joint physical custody, and the complications of legal custody in all its forms. Those and other concerns—everything from prenatal care to school issues—arise from all aspects of having a child out of wedlock, and the authors tackle all of those complications with warmth, sympathy, and a very approachable style. They suggest a variety of ways to avoid escalating arguments—and are also very clear about what to do when the situation can’t be saved, if, for instance, the mother isn’t taking care of her health during pregnancy: “If you are begging and pleading for your unborn child’s well-being and Mom still won’t listen to reason,” they write, “then at that point, we think you would need to consult your lawyer.” Readers dealing with these kinds of issues will find this book invaluable, particularly with regard to negotiation.

Skillfully outlines how to prepare for and raise a child out of wedlock.

Kirkus Reviews