Backyard Secret Exposed: A Journal Of My Healing Path Back To Life by Beth Sturdivant
I was the middle child out of five who could do anything my mind was set to do. My parents would say "Beth, is our I CAN DO GIRL" I started as en entrepreneur in middle school selling my daily candy. In my mind I thought there was a demand for this service. No one could go off campus to the store during our school day. My thought was I never wanted to work for dollars. I always wanted dollars to work for me. I never wanted to make a decision based on what I could afford I always wanted to make a decision on what I wanted.
I finished school and moved in with my high school sweet heart and then had a baby girl kind of of young. I had some friends whose boy friends got locked up in jail. Of course, they called me for help. Not that I knew so much I just had the strong personality of figuring things out with out being intimidated. While we were there I was taking mental notes on the procedure. I did ask the guy how hard was it to become a bail bonds person " He said it very hard " I said who governs this industry? He answered " DOI". I decided to follow through with calling and getting the info sent to me. I had a Great Aunt who passed and she told me I would be getting something use it wisely. I decided to use this for my bail-bonding career. I thought if I never take the risk I will never know the outcome. I became a bail bonds woman within the year. I worked this job for 13 years and was successful. I always tell my children "Never be scared to Fail" if you do pick your self back up and use it as a tool in your toolbox for future endeavors.
I decided to stop when my children were getting in there teenage years. I wanted to be able to attend their event along with all my sons games with no interference. I was very busy keeping my yard perfect and my house very nice from painting, plumbing, building a playhouse on stilts 12x12, changing carpet to making very nice scrapbooks and wreathes. I always could think of a project. My nickname was "project girl" this gave me happy endorphins.
I really enjoyed my family, as I was always the one they called for information. I did play the role of the middle child; according to the birth order book I was the glue that kept the balance together. Me, working at my restaurants with my employees was not a job, especially since I did not see this as work. I loved to make subs and keep my store very clean all day long. My employees would ask if I got tired of making subs. I would always tell them NO! I love it gives me a natural high.
Around the end of 2006 I noticed that my attention and desire was changing from being all that I could be, to I do not care. I was feeling like I was going crazy in my body. I was getting very sensitive and just feeling angry and annoyed. I was starting to get snappy and could not remember. I was not being able to remember numbers and this had always been my specialty. I would even miss my turns on the road. My daughter would say Mom what's going on with you. This went on for a couple of years getting aggressively worse. I got to the point where I could not even go to my store it just made me feel anxiety. I was starting to experience all these pregnant symptoms and would swell more while I was in the store; even my employees were getting a little concerned with how I was acting. The big day came when I literally felt my brain shutting down and my balance and all cognitive was not there. I am so amazed how I survived this nasty nightmare. I pray that my story will help millions around the world from getting as bad as I did by bringing awareness to be preventive.