Table of Contents
Foreword Tract D. Blackmon xi
Acknowledgements xiii
Introduction xv
Deserts, Wells, Stalactites 1
Now, Before, Then/Later 2
Whirling Rivers 4
Soaring 5
No Baptism, No Tears 6
Waters of the Deep 7
Torrential Rains 9
If I cry 10
Dripping Anger 11
Baptized Rage 13
Angry Cells, Skewed Waters 14
"Mists of Fury": Predatory Unfurled 15
Angered Sweat 16
Fiery Puddles 17
Bitter Tears 18
Disappointed Streams 19
Addictive Waters 20
Ragged Rain 21
Damned Spot 22
Agitated Monsoons 23
Ragged Dewdrops 24
The Strain 25
The Heavy Feet 27
Missed Thoughts 28
Overwhelm 29
Clouds Dancing 30
Steaming Rage 31
Pissed Ire 32
Tormented Downpour 33
Dripping Pain (Anguish, Angst 35
Putrid Fog 36
Engorged Pools 37
Tearful Hurt 38
Thunderous Insanity 39
Ruptured Fluids 40
Liquid Agony 42
Baptized Rage: Grief Reconciled 44
Volcanic Rain 46
Used, Abused, Discarded 47
The Grief Cycle 48
Angry Waters 50
Musings before Noon 52
Numbed Silence 54
Stunned Grief 56
Wet Grief 58
Cruel Madness 59
Fainting Mists 60
Bastardly Betrayal 62
Death: Just a Breath Away 64
Revolutionary Revelation 65
Mental Aerobics 67
Starved for Rest 68
Exposed Canvases 69
Despairing Hues of Night 70
Weighted by Fatigue 72
Fatigue Revisited toward Love 73
Speaking, Listening, Loving, Living 75
Questions, Interrogations 77
Yoga Moments 79
Problems Hovering 81
Acid Boiling 82
Sweet Dreams 84
Many Days before Christmas 85
Ancient Fissures Run Deep 88
For Mothers Who Desire 91
Fear Visits 94
Opportunity 96
And Tears 98
Sister, No Friend 99
Uncertainty 101
Sadness 102
Pensive Moments 103
Exuberant Resignation 105
Illusive Answers 106
Restlessness 107
Anguished Indignation 108
Visions 109
Tumultuous Joy 110
All Desire for God 111
At Rest 112
Seasons 114
Joy Takes Delight 116
Complexity of Breathing 118
Disappointment 119
Whispered prayers 121
Waiting 122
Exercises in Serenity 123
Full Moons 125
Fires Among us 126
A Celebrated Life 127
Goodnight Sun 128
Divine Seduction 129
An Incredible Light 130
Mystical Moments of Joy 131
Right with God 132
Riding the Seas 134
Slapped Back to Faith 135
Another Day 137
Restless Gratitude, Formidable Challenges 138
Listen to Me 139
Gift of Grief and Shame 141
Poignant Dissonance 142
Mysterious Moments 144
Sad Puddles 146
A Closed Chapter 147
Moments, Motions, Experiences 148
Grace & Laughter 150
Monster Toys 151
Fires Engulfed, Flowing Fresh Waters Heal 153
Rage by Noon 155
Baptized Rage Unfurled 156
A Belly of Faith 157
Dawn Breaks 158
Surprises Dance in Splendor 159
Guilty Grief 160
Holy Bliss: A Kiss of God 161
Crashed and Burned 162
A Holiday from Acceptance 163
From the Brink of a Breaking Point: This Too, will Pass 165
An Obituary for the Never born 167
Fleeting Furies 168
Galvanized Grief, Gangrenous Guilt 170
Revelation, Release, Regroup, Restore 172
Wisp of Frustrated Reality 173
A Volcanic Moment 174
Vulnerability 175
Busted 176
Serenity 177
Circumstances 179
A Hot Summer's Day 180
Trust 182
On a Collision Course with Myself 184
Sweet Surrender 186
Postscript 1: Stunned Grief 188
Post script 2: Baptized Rage, Smoldering Grief 190
Post Script 3: Bon Voyage 191
