Whether it's the passing of a beloved pet, close friend or family member, coping with death may be one of life's hardest challenges. Losing someone we care about can often leave us feeling sad, distressed, powerless and in search of answers. The task of navigating these considerable emotions when comforting children, while tending to our own healing, is equally difficult.
How do we begin to make sense of a loved one's absence without making it seem scary and overwhelming? How do we find the right words to convey one of the most heartbreaking truths of life - those we love may one day leave us? Sometimes a story can be useful to begin a conversation with children. It can help them normalize their grieving experience and offer a safe way to talk about what they are feeling. Bear is my personal story.
My father was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) shortly after his 68th birthday. For the next three years, my children and I visited him as often as we could. He'd smile every time he saw us and we felt blessed for the time we had together - it was truly a special gift. Ultimately, the disease took its course and, one month shy of his 72nd birthday, took away my father's smile. It was after many heart-wrenching nights that I began to channel my experience into a celebration of my father's life, his achievements, his kindness, his zest for life, everything that was uniquely him, including the chair he spent much of his last year on. The story of Bear.
In Bear, death brings about unexpected change to Matthew's life. At first, everything is happy and predictable. Then Grandpa's sudden absence sets off feelings of uncertainty, confusion, despair, unfairness and finally a sorrowful acceptance of something he had no say in. The story touches on the vulnerability that comes with the loss of control and uncovers what remains after the storm - treasured memories and hope.
Bear also subtly explores the idea of an afterlife. Though this belief is unique to our own views, it was important for me to feel that even though my father was no longer with us, he was okay, no matter where he was, in whatever form. This gave me comfort.
I sincerely hope you and your loved ones find solace in my story, especially if you are weathering the unwelcomed storms of life. May you find as much peace in reading Bear as I had in writing it.
Lora Rozler
