Beating the Adoption Odds: Revised and Updated / Edition 1

Beating the Adoption Odds: Revised and Updated / Edition 1

ISBN-10:
0156005220
ISBN-13:
9780156005227
Pub. Date:
04/23/1998
Publisher:
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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Overview

Beating the Adoption Odds: Revised and Updated / Edition 1


The completely revised and updated edition of “the definitive guide to modern infant adoption” (Los Angeles Times).

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780156005227
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Publication date: 04/23/1998
Edition description: First Edition
Pages: 612
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.36(d)

Table of Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xi(2)
INTRODUCTION xiii
Part 1: Considering Adoption: What to Know Before You Begin 1(94)
CHAPTER 1 ADOPTION WORKS
3(15)
Learning about Adoption
5(2)
Does Adoption Really Work?
7(2)
A Philosophical and Practical Approach
9(2)
Adoption Etiquette
11(1)
Developing a Personal Honesty about Your Adoption
12(4)
Summary
16(2)
CHAPTER 2 BEFORE YOU BEGIN
18(22)
Where Do You Begin?
19(1)
Many Kinds of Adoption
20(4)
Openness in Adoption
24(2)
Different Degrees of Openness
26(7)
Minimal Contact
Moderate Contact
Maximum Contact
Open Adoption Historically and Cross-Culturally
33(1)
Adoption Agencies and Open Adoption
34(2)
Risks, Dangers, and Disadvantages
36(3)
Summary
39(1)
CHAPTER 3 AN UNDERLYING ISSUE
40(21)
If You're Infertile
41(3)
Pathways to Parenthood: Special Issues for the Infertile Couple
44(8)
Childlessness
Experimental Methods of Reproduction
Adoption
Foster Parenting
Substitute Parenting
The Flip Side: Others' Unplanned Pregnancies
52(7)
A Source of Babies for the Infertile
Contraceptives
The Unconscious Desire to Be Pregnant
The Dilemma of Unwanted Pregnancy
Summary
59(2)
CHAPTER 4 SPECIAL PARENTS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
61(34)
Single Parents
62(6)
Physically Disabled Parents
68(4)
Parents with Other Medical Problems
72(2)
Older Parents
74(4)
Parents of Large Families
78(2)
Foster Parents
80(5)
Gay and Lesbian Parents
85(4)
Low-Income Parents
89(2)
Military Parents
91(2)
Summary
93(2)
Part 2: Your Adoption Options 95(154)
CHAPTER 5 AGENCIES IN TRANSITION
97(36)
Sorting Out the Agencies
98(2)
Public Adoption Agencies
Private Adoption Agencies
Deciding on an Agency
100(1)
The Agency Process
101(5)
How Honest Should You Be?
106(2)
What Are Agencies Looking For?
108(15)
Desire to Adopt
Flexibility
Openness
Financial Status
Age
Educational Background
Medical History
Race and Ethnicity
Ethnic Sensitivity
Religion
Marital Relationship
Mother's Employment
Parenting Skills
Discipline
Other Children
Personal History
Attitude Toward Adoption
Criminal Background
Personality Factors
Fighting an Agency's Rejection
123(1)
Agencies Changing Their Approach
124(7)
Agencies and Adoptees
Agencies and Birth Parents
Agencies and Adoptive Parents
Agencies and Foster Parents
Summary
131(2)
CHAPTER 6 DIFFERENT WAYS FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE
133(38)
Understanding Independent Adoption
134(1)
Sorting Out the Helpers
135(5)
Public Adoption Agencies
Private Adoption Agencies
Attorneys
Counselors, Psychologists, Psychiatrists, and Other Therapists
Adoption Facilitators
Adoption Service Providers (ASP)
Conflict over Independent Adoption
140(2)
How Independent Adoption Works
142(14)
Home Study
Finding a Child
Hiring an Attorney
Interstate Adoptions
Determining the Amount of Openness
Setting Up Pre-Adoption Contact Agreements
Counseling
Medical Consent Forms
Working with a State Agency
Relinquishment Papers
Going to Court
Adoption Expenses
156(5)
Family Adoption
161(1)
Black Market Adoption
162(7)
Why Not Sell Babies?
Problems with Black Market Adoption
Summary
169(2)
CHAPTER 7 A DISTANT RESOURCE
171(37)
A Changing Scene
174(3)
Similarities with Domestic Adoption
177(2)
Where to Get Understanding and Help for International Adoption
179(3)
International Adoption Through Agencies
182(8)
Procedures for International Agency Adoption
One International Agency Adoption
Independent International Adoption
190(4)
State and Foreign Regulations
Making International Contacts
Health of Children Adopted Internationally
194(1)
Risks in International Adoption
195(3)
Understanding Your Motivation
198(2)
Saving a Child
Romance of International Adoption
Wanting a Child Who Looks Like You
Reluctance to Make a Special-Needs Adoption
Avoiding Birth Parents
Some Questions to Consider
200(2)
Your Personal Views about Race
The Public's View of Your Adoption
Your Child's Unique Identity
The Problems of Prejudice
The Changing Picture of Your Family
A Cultural Commitment
202(3)
Summary
205(3)
CHAPTER 8 AN OPTION WORTH CONSIDERING
208(41)
Where to Go for Information
212(2)
Screening Potential Parents
214(1)
The Children as Adoptees
215(32)
High-Risk Children
Disabled Children
Different-Race and Racially Mixed Children
Older Children
Sibling Groups
Summary
247(2)
Part 3: Looking for-and Finding-a Child: Reaching Out for Success 249(154)
CHAPTER 9 PLANNING YOUR SEARCH: A PRACTICAL GUIDE
251(20)
Plan for Success
252(3)
Preparing Your Search
255(15)
Mental Preparation
Setting Priorities and Limits
When Limits Change
Presenting Yourself: Your Adoption Resume
Summary
270(1)
CHAPTER 10 THE SEARCH: CASTING A WIDE NET
271(27)
Free Clinics
273(2)
Physicians
275(1)
Other Medical Personnel
276(1)
Attorneys
277(1)
Adoptive Parents
278(1)
Intertility Groups
279(1)
Ministers, Priests, and Rabbis
280(1)
High Schools
281(4)
Colleges
285(1)
Young People
285(1)
Friends, Neighbors, Acquaintances, and Everyone Else
286(1)
Choosing Specific Regions
287(2)
Other Ways of Marketing Your Search
289(7)
Advertising Anywhere and Everywhere
The Internet
Marketing Specialists
The Business of Searching
Waiting: A How-To
296(1)
Summary
297(1)
CHAPTER 11 ARE YOU REALLY READY?
298(31)
Meeting the Birth Mother
299(4)
Being Yourself, Being Honest
Guidelines for the First Contact
Getting to Know Each Other Better
303(1)
Making Adoption Arrangements Together
303(11)
Medical Care
Living Arrangements
Financial Arrangements
Legal Assistance
Counseling
Hospital Arrangements
After the Hospital
Continuing Contact
Signing the Relinquishment
The Birth Father's Involvement
Pre-Adoption Contact Agreements
Handling Touchy Issues
314(5)
HIV and AIDS
Drugs and Alcohol
Mental Health
Race
Putting It All Together
319(9)
Summary
328(1)
CHAPTER 12 WE HAVE THE BABY, BUT
329(34)
Keeping a Distance
330(1)
Bonding Bonding with an Older Child
331(8)
A Parent for Life The Superparent Trap
339(2)
Post-Adoption Blues
341(1)
What about the Birth Family?
342(16)
The Birth Mother
A Birth Mother for Life
Potential Difficulties with Birth Mothers
The Birth Father
Potential Difficulties with Birth Fathers
The Birth Grandparents
The Birth Siblings
Respecting the Privacy of Both Families
358(2)
The Value of Keeping in Touch
360(1)
Summary
361(2)
CHAPTER 13 ANTICIPATING, CONFRONTING, AND SOLVING PROBLEMS
363(40)
Risks in Perspective
364(2)
The Risks of Agency Versus Independent Adoption
366(3)
What If the Birth Mother Changes Her Mind?
369(9)
What If the Adoptive Parents Are the Problem?
378(11)
What If the Child Is the Problem?
389(4)
What If the System Is at Fault?
393(2)
Frauds and Scams
395(3)
Anticipating and Avoiding Problems
398(3)
Summary
401(2)
Part 4: Adoption for Life: A Lifelong Commitment for Everyone 403(82)
CHAPTER 14 TALKING WITH YOUR CHILD ABOUT ADOPTION
405(23)
When Do You Start? How?
405(5)
Your Child in the Early Years
410(4)
Your Child in the Middle Years
414(3)
Your Child in the Adult Years
417(2)
A Developmental Overview of Adoption
419(7)
Summary
426(2)
CHAPTER 15 OPEN BIRTH RECORDS, SEARCHES, AND REUNIONS
428(25)
Current Laws on Adoptees' Birth Records
429(1)
Secrecy in the History of Adoption
430(2)
Clamor for Less Secrecy
432(2)
The Emotional Issues of Opening Sealed Birth Records, Conducting Searches, and Arranging Reunions
434(2)
A Suggested Approach
436(2)
Different Views on Opening the Sealed Records, Searches, and Reunions
438(8)
Adoptees
Adoptive Parents
Birth Parents
Adoption Agencies
A Reunion Story
446(6)
The Birth Mother's Story
The Adoptee's Story
The Adoptive Mother's Story
The Other Adoption Stories
Summary
452(1)
CHAPTER 16 MAKING ADOPTION BETTER FOR EVERYONE
453(32)
Legal and Legislative Recommendations
455(7)
Adoption Agency and Adoption Service Provider Recommendations
462(11)
Recommendations for Adoptive Parents
473(9)
And Finally: Making Adoption Better for Everyone
482(3)
APPENDIXES 485(51)
A: States Allowing Independent Adoption and Advertising 487(2)
B: Placement Reports-Adoptive Parents Home Study and Postplacement Adoption Appraisal 489(8)
C: Preplacement Report-International Adoptive Parent Home Study 497(3)
D: Prospective Parent Letters 500(6)
E: Letter to Birth Mother Who Requests More Information 506(5)
F: Organizations and Resources for Adoption 511(6)
G: Children's Books on Adoption 517(19)
NOTES 536(19)
BIBLIOGRAPHY 555(26)
INDEX 581

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