Being a Human Being: A Basic Guide for Understanding Human Nature

by Alan M. Henley

Overview

Originally written for young people, 'Being a Human Being' is , in fact, a book for all ages. Designed as a curriculum to teach his sons important lessons that he felt were missed in the conventional school system, the author, Alan Henley, conveys concepts and wisdom gleaned from decades of searching for truth as well from the challenging experience of parenting teenagers. This writing has enjoyed an enthusiastic reception from educators, counselors, parents, and the general reader who may be seeking self-understanding. Being written with the young teenager in mind, the subject matter is presented in a clear, concise, easy-to-understand manner. 'Being a Human Being' helps us to deepen our awareness and understanding of our tho ughts and actions as well as paving the road toward self-acceptance and true peace of mind.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781438959115
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	01/27/2010
Pages:	108
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.26(d)

Read an Excerpt

Being a Human Being

A Basic Guide for Understanding Human Nature

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By Alan M. Henley

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Alan M. Henley
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-5911-5

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Chapter One

The Basic Human Instincts

Introduction

We can learn a lot about ourselves by observing some basic facts about the world around us. Everywhere we see life-in nature, in plants and animals, in the water, earth, and sky. One of the simple things we can observe is that all of these things (plants, animals, fish, birds, insects, etc....) are alive. In order to survive, all these creatures must do certain things that seem to be built into the creatures themselves; actions and behaviors that just come naturally.

Many birds fly south in the winter months to a warmer climate-an activity known as "migration." Some animals have the ability to change their color in order to blend in with the environment (camouflage), which helps them to survive. These activities just come naturally to these animals.

Think of other behaviors or traits in different animals or plants that help with their survival.

For us humans, there are many different things that help us to stay alive. The basic human instincts play a large part in our survival. "Instinct" is defined as an inborn tendency to behave in a way characteristic of a species. In other words, we humans are born with these qualities. The overall instinct that seems to be present in all different forms of life is called "the instinct for self-preservation", which might be called the basic desire to stay alive.

There seem to be three basic instincts that all humans have that help us continue to exist on this planet, and they have a big effect on our thinking, our behavior, and our choices. We are usually not even aware of them, since they seem to be something we are just born with, like our skin, but once we become aware of how they work we can see that they are affecting us almost all the time. They can cause some very strange behavior and can even be dangerous to ourselves and others if they are out of balance.

Let's take a look at these three major instincts and see how and why they are so important. Understanding them, we can begin to understand ourselves-they are the Security Instinct, the Social Instinct, and the Reproductive Instinct. The following diagram shows how these ideas are related:

1. The Security Instinct

Squirrels are known to gather up nuts and acorns and store them away for the cold winter months ahead so that they won't starve. This is a very simple and good example of the security instinct. This is a survival tool that nature "builds in" to the animal to be sure that basic needs are met so that the life of the animal will continue.

Do we often confuse our needs with our wants?

Our basic needs can be stated very clearly and simply: food, water, and shelter. Certainly we all have our "wants"; however, to simply survive, our needs are not complicated. The security instinct is put in place so that we are "pushed" to do the things that will make sure that our basic needs are met.

We can imagine what life might have been like for the prehistoric caveman. He would hunt or gather food and seek out a cave or shelter that had a water source nearby. For him, that would satisfy his security instinct. It certainly seems that life was much simpler in those times.

Money is the primary means by which we get our basic needs met in the modern world. Money is simply a way to exchange goods and services in a simple and convenient system. By having money, we can buy "stuff"-groceries, houses, and the basic necessities to stay alive. For most people, this instinct has a good result-we work and earn money in order to take care of our basic needs so that we can survive. We save money for the future (like the squirrel storing away acorns) so that if and when we are unable to work we may still be able to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.

Are there other ways, besides money, which we use to satisfy this instinct?

If this instinct gets out of control, it can result in greed. People become scared that there is not enough, or that their future needs will not be taken care of. This fear and greed can drive a person to become stingy, dishonest, or become what is called a "workaholic"-and other areas of life and relationships can suffer as a result of this.

What sort of bad things can happen when the security instinct becomes out of balance, resulting in fear and greed?

2. The Social Instinct

Have you ever noticed how good it feels to have friends, to be part of a team, or to feel like you fit in with the people around you? This good feeling is the result of the social instinct being satisfied. When any of the instincts are satisfied, we have a good feeling.

Man is a social creature; although there are a few people who are hermits and prefer to live alone, those people are the exception and are few in number. We seem to survive better in groups, and we can easily see why this is so. Again we might think about the group of cavemen who find that together they can fight off a large animal that could easily kill one of them if he were alone, or that by working together they have more success in hunting and capturing animals for food. The fact that our survival is made more secure by working together and that we can accomplish greater things as a group is the reason that we have this social instinct.

This is the instinct that causes us to seek out friends, to try to get along with others, to fit in, and to get other people to like us. Almost everyone enjoys being popular, and this is largely due to the social instinct.

What do you think the world would be like if we didn't have this instinct?

We often forget how well this human characteristic serves us and how much we all depend on each other for society to function properly. The idea that we achieve so much more by working together allows us to accomplish so many great things. Think about how our roads and buildings are constructed, how our food supply works, and so many other things that we tend to take for granted. Our world would not be an easy place to live in without our social instinct.

If this instinct is out of balance, just like the security instinct it can become harmful to ourselves and others. This occurs when we want to be liked or try to fit in too much. We might make dangerous choices because of peer pressure-doing things that we know to be harmful, dangerous or wrong-just so that we can fit into a group or get others to like us. Here the social instinct is working against what might be good or healthy for us.

Can you think of ways or situations when this social instinct can result in harmful or dangerous behavior?

3. The Reproductive Instinct

All of the instincts seem to show that life wants to continue itself. Every living creature has the ability to reproduce, whether it is an amoeba, a flower, or an elephant. Human beings are of course no exception to this, and the reproductive instinct is there to make sure that the human race will continue to exist on this planet.

It is this natural instinct that causes the attraction between men and women-were it not for this attraction none of us would be here. We all have this instinct, and it is natural, necessary, and proper. Many societies and religions seem to view this basic urge as something that is somehow "dirty" or shameful; however, this is really not true. The basic reproductive urge is natural and normal, yet it can also cause a lot of difficulties, emotional pain, and suffering. Sometimes, because of social views on this subject, we can feel that there is something wrong with us because we have this instinct, and if it is out of balance or if we allow it to control us too much, it can result in inappropriate and damaging behavior.

What sort of harm can come from the reproductive instinct if it is out of control?

Although the basic reproductive instinct drives much of the sexual behavior in our world, there are other reasons, besides reproduction that can motivate this activity. We seek sex also because of the desire for contact and intimacy, the need to be accepted by another person, defiance of authority, simple curiosity, status seeking, and other reasons.

4. Overview of the Instincts and Fear

These things we call the instincts tend to "push us" in certain directions. As we have seen, they appear to be built into us and are necessary for our survival-as individuals and therefore as a species. We have also seen how, if out of control, these instincts can result in harm-both to ourselves and to others.

The purpose of this course is self-understanding, so let's take a moment to look at what happens inside of us when these instincts affect our thoughts and feelings.

Have you ever wanted something very badly, but weren't sure if you were going to get it? Maybe it was a special gadget or someplace you wanted to go-but you didn't know if you were going to get what you wanted. What did you do? Maybe you pouted, maybe you threw a temper tantrum, or maybe you just whined or cried. Somehow you let it be known that you really wanted whatever it was that you wanted.

Well, the instincts do the same thing in their own way if they think that they are not getting what they want. They send a message to the body and the mind, and this message is called fear. This is not the same kind of fear as watching a scary movie or being afraid of the dark. It is not the fear that we feel if someone threatens us with a weapon (clear and present danger). The kind of fear we are talking about here is a different sort of thing. It may feel like nervousness or jitteriness or may even feel like total panic. This thing we call "fear" will be talked about in much more detail later on in this course, but for now it is important to understand that when our instincts are being satisfied we tend to feel temporarily "good," and if they are not then we tend to have this feeling we call fear.

This sort of fear can be extremely powerful and sneaky and can cause us to behave in ways that are selfish and that can be harmful and damaging to those around us. It is very helpful for us to gain understanding about what is going on with us when we are feeling nervous or uncomfortable. We can ask ourselves questions, such as:

"Which one of the instincts is creating fear because it is afraid that it won't get what it wants?"

"What will happen if this instinct doesn't get what it wants?"

"Do I really, in truth, have everything I need to be OK right now?"

What other ways can you think of to prevent the instincts from creating fear?

Source Note-

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. (New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 1981)

Chapter Two

The Human Mind

1. What It's For

What is this thing we call "the mind"? Certainly all of us have a brain, although some people sometimes act like they don't. The brain is a part of the body, like the head, the foot, or the heart-each having their own special role in helping us to get along in life and enabling us to survive. The brain, or the mind, is no different than this-it is simply a part of the body that is designed to help us to get along in life.

Each animal seems to have some special characteristic that has enabled it to survive and to thrive on this planet. For example, the cheetah has exceptional speed, sharp teeth, and claws that have allowed it to capture food and therefore survive. The hawk has exceptional eyesight and talons to allow it to spot and capture its prey. In the species known as man, it seems that the brain is one of the key evolutionary features that have allowed him to thrive in this world.

Without the brain, you couldn't read these words or understand what is being said. We couldn't learn, couldn't communicate with each other, couldn't figure stuff out or make any decisions. Our brain may be our most important body part-it seems to allow us to be more advanced than the other animals and to use the things in our environment to create comfort and technology. As a matter of fact, everything that makes up man's modern society-electricity, running water, televisions, telephones, computers, automobiles, etc.-all result from our ability to use our brains and think.

To put it most simply, the brain is a tool that the body uses to solve problems and figure things out. It helps us to learn, understand, create, and communicate.

2. How It Works

The brain is a very complex organ of the body, and it is not the purpose of this course to go into great detail about anatomy. Basically what it does is receive, store, and use information. Like a computer, the brain files all of our experiences into memories and stores them away to be used at a later time. This is how we learn.

What other similarities can be made between the human brain and the computer?

When we need to solve a problem or figure something out, we use our brain. The brain goes into the memory files to find a similar or related experience or lesson that may help it to understand this problem. It will then try to utilize the information by drawing on these memories to work out the problem.

There's not much more to it than this-or is there? Let us look deeper.

3. Ideas and Thoughts

OK, so our brains are for problem solving. Well, if that is true, then what are all these things that are "going on in my head," all these thoughts and ideas that seem to be happening non-stop while I'm awake (and even while I'm asleep in the form of dreams)? At times it seems that our minds are like a TV set or stereo system that has no "off" button or switch. Where does all this chatter come from?

Thought and the Instincts

With our brief discussion of the instincts, we can see that many of these thoughts may very well come from this source. Our instincts may be generating thoughts, worries, or fears about how or when they will be satisfied.

Let's look briefly at how this might occur:

The security instinct might make us think about how we can be sure our basic needs for survival may or may not be met. As we get older, this instinct often creates a drive to make money.

The social instinct can cause us to think a lot about how we fit in-thoughts about how we should dress or behave or who we would like to be friends with.

The reproductive instinct causes us to think about a meaningful sexual relationship-these can be very powerful thoughts, and many folks, especially teenagers and young adults, spend a great deal of time thinking about this.

What other sorts of thoughts and ideas might come from our instincts (security, social, reproductive)?

In addition to the instincts, a large portion of our thoughts come from what is commonly known as "the ego." To understand these thoughts and ideas, we must first understand the ego-and that is our next topic.

Thought and the Ego

The human ego is a very important part of ourselves-in fact it is such an important thing than an entire chapter of this book will be about this subject later on. For now we will only describe it briefly and discuss how it affects our thinking in a general way.

To put it simply, the ego is the part of us that creates our identity; our identity is who we think we are. It is easy to see that we each need to have a separate identity from each other-that is how you know who you are. Maybe you think of yourself as an athlete or a smart person or a musician or a tough person or some other type of person. This concept we have of ourselves comes from our ego, and the creation of this "self-concept" is the role of the ego. Just as it is the basic role of the brain to solve problems, it is the basic role of the ego to create an identity for us.

How does the ego arrive at this self identity? Well, that is a really good question, and one that has several answers. Let's look at a couple of them now and see how they play a part in many of the thoughts that we have.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Being a Human Being by Alan M. Henley Copyright © 2010 by Alan M. Henley. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Preface: For The Adult Reader....................V
Introduction....................XIII
Chapter 1: The Basic Human Instincts....................5
Chapter 2: The Human Mind....................11
Chapter 3: The Emotions....................19
Chapter 4: The Ego....................27
Chapter 5: Awareness....................39
Chapter 6: Maturity And Gender....................53
Chapter 7: The Body....................63
Chapter 8: Concepts Of Authority....................65
Chapter 9: Religion And Self-Understanding (Optional Chapter)....................71
Chapter 10: Thoughts On Life....................85
Conclusion....................91