The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir

The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir

by Kristen K. Brown
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The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir by Kristen K. Brown


A YOUNG COUPLE. A NEW BABY. PLANS FOR THE FUTURE. As a wife, new mom and successful career woman, Kristen Brown thinks her life is set. Until one morning, her husband doesn’t wake up.

In this bittersweet memoir, we experience Brown’s new life as a young widow mom grappling with the shock, pain and regret following her husband’s unexpected death while managing a stressful work situation amidst the downfall of the economy. But not wanting to be a “sad mom,” she instead harnesses her emotions into a positive force in her life. Through a process of life-changing experiences like surfing, getting “inked” and starting her own company that takes her to Hollywood, she discovers her life’s purpose to be the role model for her daughter she longs to be–and becomes a role model for others in the process.

Kristen Brown captivates us with her story of transformation that is filled with the universal elements of loss, love, hope, humor and our ongoing search for answers that changes our perspective on the meaning of life and how we should live it. Kristen Brown bares her soul and shows us that loss can color our experiences and empower us to do more, be more and hope for more than we ever thought possible.

“…you will fall deeply for The Best Worst Thing. Kristen Brown opens her tattered heart for all to see, then shares her rocky road back from the edge, as she finds the woman she was meant to be.”
— Julie Bauke, author of Stop Peeing On Your Shoes

"…a powerful journey of love, loss, rebirth, and self-discovery. Kristen has a gift of keen insight, provocative imagery, and raw authenticity…”
— Theresa Rose, award-winning author of Opening the Kimono: A Woman's Intimate Journey Through Life's Biggest Challenges

"You will be captivated from the very first word and may not be able put this book down…she tells her incredible story that will move you emotionally in many ways.”
— Peggy McColl, New York Times Best-Selling Author

Kristen Brown is a widow mom, writer, speaker and founder of Happy Hour Effect®. Nominated for multiple business awards, she showcases her company at Hollywood events, has been featured extensively in the media and has adapted her company message into a training series. She lives in Minneapolis with her daughter and big black Lab.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452533117
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 04/27/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 304
File size: 712 KB

Read an Excerpt


A Memoir
By Kristen K. Brown


Copyright © 2011 Kristen K. Brown
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3310-0

Chapter One

We staggered through the dark parking lot, laughing and stumbling, the air frosty and crisp, typical of Minnesota weather two days before Christmas. My black, high-heeled boots wobbled over snow-encrusted pavement peppered with gravel that provided just enough friction to prevent a wipeout. My breath left thick plumes of condensation in the air, and I pulled my black wool peacoat, which was not even close to being warm enough, tight around me to block the shocking cold creeping under my clothing. Once again, I had sacrificed warmth for fashion, wearing a thin blouse, jeans, and no gloves or hat. For years, I had dressed inappropriately for the frigid climate, hoping to lure an unsuspecting man—and to impress other women with my fashion sense (usually unsuccessfully)—and that night was no exception.

The heat of bodies and warm breath fogged the windows as my friends climbed into Rob's red extended-cab pickup. My feet slipped off the shiny chrome step rail, the vodka-cranberry cocktails I had been overserved earlier demonstrating their effect on my coordination. Laughing, I shook my head, embarrassed. Rachel, already in the back seat, grabbed my hand to heft my one hundred and twenty-five pounds up next to her in the truck. Her cleavage-enhancing, black wrap sweater gaped open, giving me a view of more than I needed to see—although I had seen it many times in situations just like this. We had been friends since elementary school, partying together through high school, college, and into our early twenties, and we always knew what the other was thinking—which was useful when an unsavory suitor was making his move. But tonight, Jake, our third backseat mate, was an invited partner. He and Rachel had been flirting all night.

As I slid onto the gray leather seat, Jake pulled a can of Busch Light from inside his ski jacket, ready for our drive along the familiar country roads that ran through our little hometown. In front, Todd Brown, tall with blonde, curly hair, shook his head in amusement, seemingly wondering how he had ended up on a road trip with this group of misfits. Although we had all gone to the same high school, Todd and I had never talked. All I knew about him was that he had been in the class after mine and was a bit of an egotistical jock. Todd, Rachel, Jake, Rob, and I grew up in a small, rural farming community about two and a half hours west of Minneapolis, called Montevideo. Yes, Montevideo—like Montevideo, Uruguay, which is, in fact, its official "sister city." I've always found it comical that a predominantly Scandinavian farming town in Minnesota is twinned with a South American metropolis in a third-world country.

Just minutes before, my friends and I had been inside the warmth of the Hunt Bar and Grill, a hot spot in our hometown—if a farming town with a population of fifty-five hundred can have a hot spot. It was nearing closing time, and the one hundred or so people in the bar were thinking about where to go next. Holiday weekends in Montevideo always meant a reunion between those still living there and those who had left after high school. Although I was among those who had left, seven years later at age twenty-five I still thought of Montevideo as home, and I loved going out and getting crazy with everyone I hadn't seen in a while.

As we were thinking about what to do next, a buzz arose.

"Brian's having an afterbar," someone announced.

"Who's going to Brian's? I hear he has a keg," someone else said.

Brian, another friend from high school, was going to keep the masses entertained by hosting a gathering at his house for further socializing and drinking (as if we needed more of the latter). But he wasn't going to leave the bar until the last minute, while Rachel and I were ready to head out. As we discussed what our plan should be, Rob approached us.

"A couple of us are going road-tripping before heading to Brian's; want to come?" he asked, spinning his keys around his finger.

If you think road-tripping is an innocent term used to describe exactly what it sounds like—a trip on roads—you are sadly misinformed. With few entertainment options in Montevideo, the concept of "road-tripping" long ago evolved to include roadies—alcoholic beverages consumed while on said road trip, otherwise known as "bar-in-the-car" or "auto-drinking." Yes, we were aware of the dangers of drinking and driving, but that added to the allure. (We're talking about twenty-somethings in a small town, remember?) Just hearing Rob propose a road trip made our eyes light up.

"Totally. We'll road-trip with you," Rachel and I replied. Buttoning my coat, I checked the pockets for my money and ID. I never carried a purse in Montevideo. You never knew where you would end up, and keeping track of a purse was just the sort of inconvenience you didn't need when an opportunity like road-tripping arose.

I got situated in my spot behind the front passenger seat, and Jake handed me one of the "secret" beers from his jacket pocket. I cracked open the Busch Light and held it down below window level as Rob pulled away from the bar en route to the dark country roads that would obscure our illicit activity. I took a sip and cringed. It was warm from Jake's coat pocket, where he had probably put it before going out that night "just in case." But I drank it anyway. That was another of the risks of road-tripping—dealing with subpar beverages desperately obtained after the liquor store closed by either swiping swill from a parent's liquor cabinet or buying lightweight 3.2 beer or wine coolers at a gas station. I leaned over the front seat as we drove, the radio cranked up, drinking, talking, and singing to AC/DC and Guns N' Roses, belting out the anthems of our youth like we were Axl Rose. When the slow songs came on, Todd and I sang together in true monster ballad style, leaning toward each other with our beer can microphones in hand, despite having just officially met.

I felt a jab in my back and looked over my shoulder to see that Rachel and Jake were no longer drinking, talking, or singing; they were kissing. And not just innocently smooching in their own little corner, but thrashing and bumping around like caged snakes, writhing all over each other and pushing against me in the process. I had seen this type of drunken make-out scene before and knew nothing could stop it once it started. I shifted forward toward Todd, our shoulders touching now. I nudged him and moved my face close to his ear so he could hear me over the music.

"Check out the lovebirds in the backseat. I think their saliva is getting on me." My cheek was so close to his mouth that I could feel his breath.

"Wow!" Todd grinned, shook his head, and took a swig of his beer, leaning closer to me. "I'm glad I'm not back there. Awkward! We should probably get to town so you don't have to sit next to that anymore." I still felt his warm breath on my face. I searched for something clever to say and tilted my head and laughed in what I thought was a seductive manner, but due to the vodka-cranberry cocktails was actually more snorting than seducing.

"Yes, please. Let's head back to the afterbar," I said to Rob, not just because I wanted out of the backseat, but because I needed to pee from all the beer and bumpy roads, and so that Todd and I could get back to our bonding over song.

As Rob turned down the next road to head back to town, something happened. One second I was leaning over the front seat facing Todd, our heads mere inches from each other to avoid the flailing bodies beside me, and the next, the space between us disappeared. We turned toward each other at the exact same moment, my brown hair brushing his cheek and his light blue eyes meeting mine for an instant. And then—I turned into a writhing snake myself. I kissed Todd right there in front of everyone. And he kissed me back!

Now, historically I have been extremely against public displays of affection in my own relationships. But something, some combination of magnetism and fate and vodka-cranberries, made me kiss a guy I barely knew while driving the back roads of our small hometown—our warm Busch Lights in hand, not spilling a drop. We pulled away from each other, giggling like preteens who have just exchanged their first kiss in the bleachers at a football game—or maybe that was just me. We looked down at our beers and took another sip. Rob was fiddling with the radio, probably disgusted by all the hormones flying around in his truck without any to go around for him.

After the kiss, Todd and I maintained that connection to each other. We talked over the seat for the fifteen-minute trip back to town, and when we got to Brian's house for the afterbar, no one else mattered. It was as if just the two of us were there, not forty other people, and we wondered why we had never even talked with each other all these years.

The party wound down, and we suddenly realized it was three in the morning. While we weren't far away from our own childhood beds, neither of us felt sober enough to drive, nor did we want to leave each other, although we didn't say that out loud. So we both opted to stay overnight at Brian's house. We could easily have snuck into a bedroom together, but we didn't. Our moral compasses and something blooming inside both of us prompted us not to. I took the couch while Todd stretched out his long, lanky body on a recliner nearby. Even though I didn't have all my wits about me, I remember this as if it happened just last night. I curled up on the couch with my boots still on, my eyes shut, playing coy and pretending to sleep yet fully aware of Todd's presence just feet from me. As I started to doze, I sensed him moving off of his recliner, but I kept my eyes shut, not wanting him to know I was "monitoring" him.

My heart pounded in my chest.

Was he going to come over and make a move on me? Part of me hoped so.

My mind raced, working through the possible scenarios of the next moment: Maybe he was just getting up to go to the bathroom. Maybe he was going to the kitchen to get a late-night snack. Or maybe in a minute we would be making out like crazy teenagers!

A second later, I heard a gentle swoosh of air and fabric and felt a fuzzy blanket being gently tucked around me. Then Todd's hands lifted my feet, slowly eased my boots off, and lightly covered my feet with the blanket before tiptoeing back to his recliner. I feigned sleep, my heart swelling with emotion. This guy was someone special and I knew at that very instant that I would marry Todd Brown.

Chapter Two

The next couple of days went by quickly as I celebrated Christmas with my family, and soon I was back at work in Minneapolis. But my mind wasn't on my job, it was on Todd. He worked for a bank as a mortgage lender on one side of the city, and I was a national accounts manager for a small gift bag company on the opposite side of town. That first day back at the office, I felt like a schoolgirl, wondering if Todd would call. I checked e-mail, kept my old-school giant cell phone on, and stayed near my desk just in case he called me at work.

By the end of the day, I was convinced he wasn't going to call and that our kiss and subsequent connection had just been a vodka-cranberry/ Busch Light-induced moment that didn't mean anything to him. At 5:05, I picked up my bag and started down the hallway to leave the building. Just as I was about to walk out the door, I heard my office phone ring. I turned and sprinted as fast as I could back toward my cubicle, raced around the corner to my phone, and grabbed it. The line was already dead. Crap! How could I blow it like that? I knew in my gut it was him. I stood there for a moment, catching my breath and cursing myself for missing his call. Dejected, I started to leave once more, but I saw the message light on the phone begin to blink. I anxiously picked up the phone and dialed the voice mail code, crossing my fingers that it wasn't just a work contact.

"Hi, Kristen, it's Todd Brown. You gave me your card but it only had your work number on it, so not sure how else to get ahold of you." (Those damn vodka-cranberries again!) "I wanted to see if you maybe wanted to grab a bite to eat this week sometime. Anyway ... so call me if you get a chance."

"Aaaahhhhh!" I was squealing like a lovesick teenager, jumping up and down, waving my hands in the air. Fortunately, the coworkers who sat near me had already left for the day. Why was I acting like this? What was wrong with me? Since when was I a giddy, sappy girl? My mind suddenly kicked into typical Kristen over analytical mode. Okay, game plan time. What should I do? Do I call him back right now, or will that seem too desperate? But if I wait, will it seem like I was screening my calls? Do I call from home tonight? What if he's busy? Do I wait until tomorrow so I don't seem too anxious? Or will that give him enough time to fall completely out of love with me? What? Love? Who said anything about love? That's just crazy; we had a total of five hours of interaction time!

So I waited ... the fifteen minutes it took me to get home. Then I practically sprinted up to my apartment, threw down my bag and jacket, and grabbed the cordless phone off the wall. I sat down on the edge of my lavender (yes, lavender) couch and stared at the phone in my right hand. In my left hand I held the scrap of paper with Todd's phone number. I had been carrying it in my pocket all day, so the ink was smudged and the paper was crinkled pretty badly, but I could still make out the number. But paralyzing fear kept me from dialing. I stood up and began pacing. I am a master at pacing—back and forth, back and forth—while I work out problems or situations in my mind. I walked into my bedroom, then back to the living room, through the kitchen, and into the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror, leaned against the sink, and lectured myself.

"Kristen, you can do this. Just call," I said out loud, trying to give myself a confidence-building pep talk. "The worst that can happen is he says he changed his mind and thinks you are an unattractive, crazy chick who kisses random guys in pickup trucks." Breathing deeply, I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?" Todd answered.

"Umm, hi, it's Kristen ... Larson from Montevideo," I stammered. Real smooth. He obviously knows I'm from Montevideo.

"Oh, hey!" He sounded happy to hear my voice, which gave me the courage to keep talking.

"Hi. I got your message just as I was leaving the office. Sorry I missed you." I scrambled to think of something more interesting to say so he wouldn't hang up on me. I started to pace.

"Sorry I had to call you at work," he replied. I didn't have any other numbers to call you at. But I wanted to see if you'd like to get something to eat one of these nights." I could tell he was nervous. How do guys handle that pressure of asking girls out? The fear of rejection would send me right over the edge.

"Sure, that would be great. When are you thinking?" I tried to sound casual and breezy. Please say tomorrow! Please say tomorrow!

"How about tomorrow night?"


"I think that should work," I answered, trying to sound calmer than I felt. "What time do you work until?" I silently lunged towards the floor, doing fist pumps in the air.

"I should be home by six. I was thinking a little place over in Edina, called Two Guys from Italy. Want to try that?" Finally, a man with a plan. This was getting better by the second.

"Sounds good. I can come to your house, and we can go from there if that works," I suggested, but then cringed, worried it sounded a little forward. But Todd seemed thrilled.

"Yeah. Perfect. What's your e-mail so I can send you my address tomorrow?"

We exchanged information and hung up. After all that pacing, I had ended up in the guest bedroom/office perched on the edge of the daybed. I set the phone down next to me, out of breath and buzzing with adrenaline. Content, I took a deep breath and hoped for good things to come. Tomorrow night couldn't come fast enough.

Chapter Three

As the end of the next workday drew near, I could hardly contain my excitement. My coworkers laughed and tried to calm me down as I paced around the office, unable to concentrate, just waiting until I could go and prep for my first date with Todd. At four o'clock, I couldn't take it any more, and neither could my office mates.


Excerpted from THE BEST WORST THING by Kristen K. Brown Copyright © 2011 by Kristen K. Brown. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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The Best Worst Thing: A Memoir 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 8 reviews.
ReadersFavorite More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by Brenda Ballard for Readers Favorite Todd and Kristen met, dated, fell in love and became the closest two people can be. They traveled, laughed, snuggled and enjoyed each other as individuals. Their wedding was memorable and beautiful as it should be. Brooke came along nine months after they began considering having a child. She was the love of their life and the mark of a change in dynamics for the couple. Struggling to regain what once was there, Kristen is at her wit's end and behaves badly for a while. Then, just when she realized the error in her ways, her beloved Todd suddenly and unexpectedly dies of a heart attack in the night of her sister's wedding. Everyone whose heart Todd touched is in total shock. This book is one woman's journey from anger and disbelief, through the gamut of grief, to survival and moving forward. A gut-wrenching journey of loss so great that the heart might not stand it but somehow Kristen finds her inner strength not just to carry on but to share with others. Two women I went to school with became widows around the same age as Kristen. As I read "The Best Worst Thing", I thought often of those families and the struggles they went through and will face in the future. This is a book of truth, sorrow, joy, and empowerment. I believe that anybody who has a hole left in their heart, the remnants of their loved one passing, will identify with Kristen and her journey. Fair warning: Do not read unless you have tissues nearby!
McGuffyAnn More than 1 year ago
Kristen K. Brown has it all, until one day when she wakes up to find herself a widow. Not wanting to be what she calls a "sad mom", she sets out to turn her negatives into positives. What follows is this memoir of her journey from the very real edge of despair to a successful, even joyous life that she created. From surfing to "getting inked", starting her own business (which takes her to Hollywood), with sheer determination, she becomes the ultimate role model. Her book is inspirational, but her life is a tribute to what a woman and a mother can do when she is faced with serious life decisions. This book is also confirmation as to what love can do, and does.
Countrysunset More than 1 year ago
How can "The Best Worst Thing" change your life forever? Kristen K. Brown tells her very emotional tale of love, tragedy and loss, and the re-birth of her life in this newly published story. She relates her tale of meeting and loving her dear husband, Todd, and how their journey at first seemed as timeless and ordinary as the next couple's, but ended just in six short years time as an unknown heart condition destroyed their tranquility. Follow her story as she faces the grief of her loss, the daunting job of being a single parent, and the re-emergence of herself as she finds what in life makes her feel whole again. This was a very emotional read for me. I can't imagine the over-whelming grief that this author has gone through and to come out in a completely happy place is just wonderful. Her writing style is so honest and every-day that you can really get to know her and I thoroughly enjoyed that. I would highly recommend this story to anyone looking for an inspirational memoir that is genuinely tragic but uplifiting in the end. This book was kindly provided to me by it's wonderful author for my honest review.
KellyBB More than 1 year ago
Once I picked this book up, I did not stop reading until I got to the end late that same night. Kristen's story is both heartbreaking and uplifting. I cried and then cheered for Kristen as she peered over the edge and found the strength to turn around and make her new life work. As a Mom of two girls, her utter focus on being a positive role model for her daughter is a great reminder of how we should think every day, not only when tragedy strikes. Her honesty about her daily struggles is refreshing. Through this book, Kristen not only keeps Todd's memory alive for her daughter, but for everone who is impacted by their story.
JanetteFuller More than 1 year ago
"The Best Worst Thing", by Kristen K. Brown, is the story of a 34-year-old widow, mother, author and entrepreneur, who has found a way to deal with tragedy and manage the stress that goes along with it. Kristen Brown found herself a young widowed mother when her husband died of a heart attack at the age of 30. Kristen experienced feelings of grief, regret, denial and anger as she struggled to survive the days following her husband's death. This is a true story of love, loss, rebirth and self-discovery. This book is an amazing journey through the grief process and into a new life of acceptance and happiness. It was hard to put this book down. Kristen really opened her heart and exposed her inner-most feelings. Most of us can't imagine what it would be like to lose a spouse at such a young age. This book will teach you how to mend a broken heart. Healing and acceptance is what this book is all about. A very good read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
There are so many different things to get out of this book it is a must-read for anyone entertaining the pursuit of happiness. Kristen makes an incredible transformation after the tragedy of losing her husband much too young. Read for a new perspective on marriage, grief, parenthood, career, stress, depression, chasing your dreams, and living outside your comfort zone. This book is a life-changer. You will laugh and cry--hard, and you won't want to put it down.
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