Table of Contents
Orientation Session 1
Introduction to the Program 1
Overview of the Program 2
Your Workbook 2
Group Introductions 3
Topics Covered in This Program 4
Group Agreements 5
Triggers and Coping Tools 6
Five Senses 7
Breathing and Exhaling 7
Statistics on Violence in the United States 8
Definition of Violence 10
The Social–Ecological Model (People in the Environment) 11
Creating a Container 14
Discovering Your Anger Style 16
Anger Survey 19
Assignment 20
Self-Soothing Activity: Palms Down, Palms Up 21
Part A: Self
Session One: Thinking Our Thoughts 25
The Spirals of Violence and Nonviolence 26
Cognitive Distortion 27
My Typical Distorted Thinking 29
Feelings Inside and Outside 31
The DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 32
Understanding Keila 32
Understanding Me 34
Assignment 36
Session Two: Feeling Our Feelings 39
Identifying Feelings 40
Beliefs About Feelings 43
Intensity of Feelings 44
Emotional Wellness 48
Feelings and the Body 49
When Feelings Threaten to Overwhelm You 50
The Observer Self 51
Assignment 52
Session Three: Violence and Trauma in Our Lives 53
Types of Abuse 54
The Process of Trauma 54
Calming Strategies 58
Two Calming Activities 59
Mindful Breathing 59
Ten-Point Body Scan 59
Assignment 60
Session Four: The Effects of Trauma 63
Adverse Childhood Experiences Survey 64
The Effects of Trauma and Substance Use on the Brain 68
Risk Factors for Addiction 69
Personal Experiences with Substances 70
Triggers and the Body 71
Yoga Poses and the Mind–Body Connection 74
Assignment 75
Session Five: Women and Anger 77
Words for Anger 78
Meeting a Feeling 79
The Anger Funnel 80
Anger Triggers 82
Anger Management Strategies 83
Anger Dos and Don’ts 85
Hidden Anger 87
Self-Inflicted Violence 88
Assignment 89
Session Six: Understanding Ourselves 91
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 92
Understanding Keila 92
Understanding Me 94
Understanding My Behavior 96
Understanding Keila 96
Understanding Me 97
Becoming Whole 98
Assignment 100
Part B: Relationships
Session Seven: Our Families 103
Self-Soothing Activity: Deep Breathing 104
Risk Factors 105
Family Sculpture 106
The Cost of Violence 107
Feelings and the Family 108
The Anger Questionnaire 109
Wheel of the Nurturing Family 112
Assignment 115
Session Eight: Communication 117
Communication Styles 118
Nonverbal Communication 119
Communicating Emotions 120
Strategies for Creating Connection Through Communication 121
Responses to Stress 122
Assignment 124
Session Nine: Power and Control 125
The Power and Control Wheel 126
Types of Abuse in Relationships 130
The Violence Continuum 132
Escalation and De-escalation 134
Violence in Prison 136
Using the Time 137
Assignment 138
Session Ten: Conflict Resolution 141
Fair Fighting 142
Words, Words, Words 143
Impulse Control 144
The Equality Wheel 147
Assignment 150
Session Eleven: Creating Our Relationships 151
Falling in Love 152
Love and Addiction 153
Contrasting Intimate Relationships and Addictive Relationships 154
How to End a Relationship 155
Assignment 156
Part C: Community
Session Twelve: Our Communities 159
Self-Soothing Activity: Progressive Muscle Relaxation 160
Our Communities 162
Visualization 163
Friendship 167
Assignment 168
What’s in a Name? 170
Session Thirteen: The Importance of Safety 171
Safety in the Community 172
The Four Kinds of Safety 173
Environment and Behavior 175
Safe and Unsafe Environments 176
Safety and the Body 177
Community Maps—Past, Present, and Future 178
Assignment 182
Session Fourteen: Creating Community 183
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 184
Crossroads 186
Making Good Decisions 188
Assignment 190
Session Fifteen: The Power of Community 193
DVD of What I Want My Words To Do To You 194
Activity: Writing About a Kind Act 195
Assignment 196
Part D: Society
Session Sixteen: Society and Violence 199
Self-Soothing Activity: Breathing in the Positive 200
Reviewing the Risks for Violence 201
The Culture Wheel 202
Institutional and Cultural Supports for Domestic Violence 204
Working to End Violence 206
Art as an Expression of the Levels of Violence 209
Assignment 211
Session Seventeen: Creating Change 215
Health, Harmony, and Wholeness 216
The Spirals of Transformation 218
Assignment 221
Session Eighteen: Transforming Our Lives 223
Visualization 224
The Role of Remorse in Transformation 225
The Process of Transformation 226
Making Amends 227
Forgiveness 228
Assignment 229
Session Nineteen: Honoring Ourselves and Our Community 231
The Relational Wheel 232
Are You Becoming the Person You Want to Be? 234
ORID 235
Appreciation 237
Appendix Yoga Poses 239
About the Author 245
About the Cover 247
