The definitive, hilarious guide to why Jewish men make the best dates, where to snag a hot mensch, and how to win his mother's heart
After all, she's molded him into the cutest little Oedipus complex you've ever met. Could you show some appreciation?
With humor and emotion, Kristina Grish celebrates the terrific intricacies of multilayered, interfaith relationships in this girl-meets-boy dating guide. She waxes poetic about why Jewish men are great boyfriend material: They're smart, entrepreneurial, generous, doting, and funny. They love to eat, and they're passionate in bed. Sure, their neuroses have neuroses. But isn't it nice to know there are guys out there who analyze relationships more than you do?
Chapters such as "Why Choose the Chosen Ones?," "The First Shtup," and "Talk Yiddish to Me" detail how a sexy Shiksa can meet, date, and love a nice Jewish boy of her own.
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About the Author
Kristina Grish is the author of three books, including Simon Spotlight Entertainment's Boy Vey! The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men. She's currently a contributing editor to Marie Claire and has written for Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, Teen Vogue, Outside, and Vibe, among others. She lives in New York City. Visit Kristina at kristinagrish.com.
Read an Excerpt
Chapter One: Why Choose the Chosen Ones
Oh, admit it: At some point in your adult life, you've wanted to snag a Hebrew honey. Or maybe you already have. Or maybe you're snuggled next to him right now, reading this sentence and wishing you'd thought of this book idea before I did.
In any case, who can blame you? There's a lot to love about a guy who makes your laughter his priority, who talks about your relationship more than you do, who's wildly intense inside the bedroom and out, who thinks nudging him up the corporate ladder is a sign of affection. Jewish men feed your mind and appetite, and they are the ultimate caretakers without a hint of machismo. They're also generous and thoughtful, thanks to a matriarchal culture that's taught them to appreciate women's strength, candor, humor, and intelligence. And because Jewish men value professional drive, your mom can finally tell neighbors that you're dating a doctor, lawyer, or entrepreneur. And she'll mean it this time.
Of course, dating a nice Jewish boy comes with its caveats -- most obvious, the whole Messiah thing. The good news is that if you're dating a Jew, he's likely either Reform or simply acculturated, and thus, open-minded about mixing it up a bit. (Unless conversion is your idea of a hot first-date topic, don't waste your time with Conservative and Orthodox observances.) Whether your love mensch is super religious is seldom the issue. I've found that interfaith coupling gets most sticky -- and believe me, this Presbyterian has dated enough Jews to make their ancestors shvitz in their graves -- when wondering how to navigate daily interactions: how to deal with his obsessive hand-wringing, what toexpect from his sex drive, how to survive his mom's verbal hemophilia. Interfaith relationship snafus arise because Jewish cultural nuances are ingrained in his psyche and not in yours. So if you want to hang with a Jew, you need to identify with his faith and lifestyle.
So what's a Shiksa? Well, you. The word is simply Yiddish for a non-Jewish woman, though the term carries a long history of cultural weight that's far too academic and arguable for the attention span of dating-guide devotees (myself included). Suffice it to say that Shiksas are traditionally viewed as the attractive, mysterious, and forbidden other -- and not always in a flattering way. However, most of the young, Jewish studs I meet insist that the femme fatale rep is an antiquated ideal that's upheld more by their older parents and grandparents than by today's cooler Bens, Joshes, and Andrews. Thank heaven! When it comes to compatibility issues, your religion (or lack thereof) is but one part of your gorgeous profile -- and ranks right up there with charisma, looks, education, family, ethnicity, and bra size. Honestly, your cutie doesn't adore you because he wants to explore your hidden temptress or piss off his family. And if you suspect he does, dump the loser and hide his yarmulke. Because you, my dear, can do better.
Since you bought this book, I'm going to assume you have an elementary knowledge of the Jewish faith and its lingo (or at least a piqued interest). Beyond apologies for your beliefs or stereotypes about his, here's what you won't find in these pages: basic Judaic principles, long history lessons, Hebrew prayer translations, funeral downers, extreme holiday traditions like Purim or Simchas Torah, or three cheers for interfaith marriage. Boy Vey!: The Shiksa's Guide to Dating Jewish Men is simply that -- a fun dating guide written for outsiders, by an outsider. Not to mention, one who's proved to be a natural at the Jewish dating shtick (or so the exes and mothers say)...and sees no reason why you can't be too!
Copyright © 2005 by Kristina Grish
Table of ContentsContents
Foreword: "About a Girl," by Ben Kaplan Acknowledgments Chapter 1: Why Choose the Chosen Ones?
Chapter 2: You Probably Won't Meet Him in Wyoming...
Chapter 3: Summer Camp Is Not a Cult (and Other Honest Mistakes)
Chapter 4: Because Neurosis and Guilt Are Part of His DNA Chapter 5: The First Shtup Chapter 6: Why Antacids Are the Fifth Food Group Chapter 7: Talk Yiddish to Me Chapter 8: The Jewish Mother Chapter 9: Mishpocheh and the Hanukkah Bush Afterword: Boy Vey! You're Practically Jewish!