Table of Contents
Acknowledgements vi
Prologue vii
Chapter 1 My Mistake 1
Chapter 2 Feeling No Pain 7
Chapter 3 Is that Ours? 11
Chapter 4 What Happened? 15
Chapter 5 Wide Awake Now 19
Chapter 6 Ron Goes to Rehab 23
Chapter 7 God's Will 27
Chapter 8 Visitors Aren't Always Welcome 29
Chapter 9 I'm Stable Enough 33
Chapter 10 Grueling Rehabilitation 35
Chapter 11 Sexual Frustration 43
Chapter 12 Finally Going Home 49
Chapter 13 Who's There 55
Chapter 14 Tackling Housework 63
Chapter 15 Starting A New Life 71
Chapter 16 My Teenagers 77
Chapter 17 Finding a Spiritual Community 85
Chapter 18 Spiritual Conflicts 93
Chapter 19 Kids Moving Out 97
Chapter 20 Male Companionship 103
Chapter 21 Truly On My Own 113
Chapter 22 The End of Independence 121
Chapter 23 Physical Trials 125
Chapter 24 New State of Living 135
Chapter 25 Helping a Friend 139
Chapter 26 Living Challenges 145
Chapter 27 Losing My Mother 149
Chapter 28 Reflections on Darkness and Light 153
Chapter 29 Giving up Smoking 157
Chapter 30 Life's Regrets 161
Chapter 31 Ron Is Still Alive 165
Chapter 32 Physical Scars 173
Chapter 33 I love My Babies 175
Chapter 34 Final Diagnosis 179
Epilogue 183
