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Cats Don'T Do Geometry

Cats Don'T Do Geometry

by Carl W. Anderson


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Misfortune and injustice are parts of life, but that doesn’t mean we have to be cynical! In Cats Don’t Do Geometry, humorist and poet Carl Anderson pokes fun at much of today’s prevailing wisdom and presents some alternative ways of looking at things. It all begins with a study of cats and other fuzzy friends and how our relationships with them can improve our lives immensely.

Anderson worked in the bureaucratic federal government system for over thirty years, which gave him plenty of time to observe human behavior—good and bad. Much of his wisdom spawned from this, including the benefits of hypocrisy, belief or disbelief in God, and even how to drive safely and with less stress.

Most importantly, though, Anderson reminds us to keep cracking jokes, no matter what life throws our way. Although there is much to be skeptical about, we need to overcome cynicism and negativity in order to achieve our higher purpose. Life is meant to be lived well, even when we have unexpected houseguests or when our underwear doesn’t fit. Cuddle up with a loved one—including furry friends—and turn sarcasm into a smile.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780759626737
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 08/01/2001
Pages: 128
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.30(d)

Table of Contents

Part 1Of Cats and Other Critters1
A Doodling Doggerel Dawdle1
Cats Don't Do Geometry2
Essence of Dog3
The Big, Huge Muskrat4
The Ornament5
The Vanity of the Manatee6
Predator Control7
Don't Swim along with a Wobbegong8
Watching Our Steps9
For Kitty10
Think, Thank, Thunk!11
Part 2An Educated Fool is Nevertheless a Fool. So Is an Old Fool12
Educated Fools12
A Box for Poet's Block12
Enlightenment, or a Mind Bind?13
Descartes Debunkle14
A Very Scientific Explanation15
Familial Foibles17
If ... Again19
Mark My Words20
The Meeting of the Extremes22
Mass Media Musings24
An Honest Hedge25
In Spacetime with Due Respects to Einstein and Kipling27
Not Quite All Together29
Part 3Just What Kind of People Are We?30
Keeping Things Light30
Something Different31
Against Our Own Worst Enemy32
A Feckless Wonder33
Old I-9534
Unexpected Visitors Needn't Mean All is Lost36
The Eternal Bed37
The Uncivil38
Attitude Problems39
A Certain Kind of a Hole: Knowing One When You See One40
The Arrogant One's Comeuppance42
A Grumpy Ol' Guy at the Supermarket43
Knowing You as We Do44
A Strange Cocoon45
In Passing46
Walking Funny47
How Does One Cope with a Sigmoidoscope?48
A Most Essential Break49
A Bouncing Incantation for a Baby Disinflation50
Chuggin' along Georgetown's Old C&O Canal Towpath51
Behind ... Again52
Just Between You and Your Buddy53
Part 4Do You Believe in God? ... Does God Believe in You?54
God Versus Religion56
A Most Confusing Story57
A Gem in the Rough58
From Main Pass to Piper Alpha59
In Black Granite60
Trudging through Life61
Laughing Last62
The Ultimate Plea-bargain63
A Needless Argument64
A Prayer for Kindly Cynics65
Life, Not Life66
Adopt or Shut Up67
To Any Zealot Who Will Listen68
A Lightness of Spirit70
Part 5Taking Care of Each Other--then Business--in the Workplace71
One Man's Outlet71
A Successful Gentleman72
Buried in the Hierarchy73
Expert, Schmexpert74
Sharing Responsibility76
Pooh-Poohing Peter78
To Senior Political Hacks80
On Retiring81
Part 6Love--Some of Us Just Can't Get It Right82
Dancing The Paranoid Shuffle82
Sinful Dreams82
An Unfulfilled Longing83
Young Gals and Dudes, Make Like Prudes84
A Bitter Curse, Indeed85
Good Luck to Him86
To an Unhappy Lady87
Through Love's Fractured Prism88
And So the Battle Continues91
Abusing What's Left of the Good Guy, or Guilt Trips Create Distance92
Another Blowup93
A Fretful Toast94
A Worldly Man Meets a Mean Dame95
Part 7Concerning Our "Egalitarian Society"97
The Rapes of Graft100
A Hip-Hyp(ocritical) Hooray!102
So You Say You're Cynical104
Part 8Do We Get Out of This Life Alive?106
A Tree of Life106
Simmer Slowly107
A Rumination about Illumination108
Happy Birthday, Old-timer110
A Kindly Kindred Spirit111
A Strength of Being112
To Sleep114
To Humankind115

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