Coming Together: Solving the Mystery of Intimate Sex and Relationship

by Annette Baulch, Graeme Sudholz

Overview

Coming Together is a definitive, no apologies roadmap for a successful intimate relationship. Learn to create a deeply satisfying bond that lasts long after the honeymoon spark. This book normalises any struggles you might be going through without blame and offers solid and lasting tools to take you into increasing clarity and sustainable love.

Using our roadmap:

• You’ll find insight and suggestions to help you both fall in love with and desire your partner over and over again
• Making love will become a place of safety, connection and life sustaining pleasure
• Our simple ABC practice will become your go-to tool during times of challenge, helping you grow together rather than apart.

With relationship dissatisfaction and break down at an all-time high, if you buy only one book on relationships this year, make it this one.

About the Authors

Annette Baulch & Graeme Sudholz have been relationship counsellors, sex therapists and retreat facilitators with a tantric flavour since 2006. Their inclusive approach is known for changing lives through changing relationships, as couples learn to open their hearts and come home to love.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780648114604
Publisher:	Oztantra
Publication date:	12/04/2018
Pages:	442
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

International tantric facilitator and author, Annette Baulch, supports women from all backgrounds to find their voices, their power and their self-love. She is passionate in supporting women and men to find self-acceptance and to maintain their individuality whilst discovering the joys of togetherness in relationship. A lifetime of exploration in this area has recently culminated in the launch of her flagship book 'Coming Together'.
Annette began life in a small town in rural Victoria, Australia. She began her working life by 27 years in nursing. This included five years with Holistic Health Practitioner Dr Jo Horwood, where she began to understand the value of cultivating wellness, rather than simply treating illness. She then chose to train in emotional mastery and breathwork for several years with Nicholas De Castella in Melbourne at the Institute of Heart Intelligence. After nursing and prior to Oztantra, Annette operated her own breathwork practice, supporting her clients to 'breathe their way to freedom' and ran 'celebrating the feminine' workshops tailored specifically for women.

Annette holds a Diploma Certificate in Transpersonal Counselling. Her studies have included tantra yoga, emotional Intelligence, communication and relationship skills, breathwork, Inner child work and imago theory. She has completed ongoing study with other teachers of tantra and is a certified tantra practitioner with the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.

Relationship counsellor, author and sexuality therapist, Graeme Sudholz, has a down to earth, straightforward manner. His approachable and still highly professional approach has supported him in working successfully with thousands of men, women and couples across Australia and overseas. Growing up on the family farm in rural Western Victoria, Graeme spent 30 years passionately working in farming, alongside his first wife and their three children.

After his divorce, Graeme wanted to understand where the relationship had gone wrong and when he did learn, he wanted to share this knowledge with other people in the same position.
Graeme is qualified in counselling services, including several years with Lifeline, and is a qualified breathwork practitioner. His studies include tantra yoga, emotional intelligence, communication and relationship skills, breathwork, holistic psychotherapy, inner child and imago theory, with ongoing study with other teachers of tantra, including becoming a Certified Tantra Practitioner with the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.

Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

How to get the most out of this book

Introduction

Coming Together is a roadmap

Setting the Stage for Intimacy

1.1 Finding the value in an intimate relationship

1.2 Understanding the Relationship Landscape

1.3 What Actually IS Intimacy?

1.4 Learning to Feel (and Yes, There’s a Reason for It)

1.5 Vulnerability: The Blessing and Curse of Intimacy

Surrender and Freedom

2.1 The ABC of Coming Together

2.2 Developing Feeling Intelligence

2.3 The Nature of Mind and the Games that it Plays

2.4 The Longest, Most Worthwhile Journey from the Head to the Heart

Connection, Separation and Control

3.1 Me, You and Us: The Dance Of Intimacy

3.2 Using your ABC as a relationship tool

3.3 Dealing with Emotional Triggers

3.4 Ending The Power Play

Self, Self and Self

4.1 Know Thyself First: Acceptance is the Key

4.2 Your Relationship Begins with You

4.3 Trust Your Essence

4.4 Yes, You are Fascinating: Your Beliefs, Values, Needs and Desires

4.5 The Importance of Inter-Generational Boundaries

The Fine Art of Communication

5.1 Otherwise known as the finer art of the shit fight

5.2 Finding the Passion

5.3 Men and Woman are Different

5.4 So, Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

Stuckness and State Change

6.1 Activities to Shift Your State When You Get Stuck

6.2 Dealing With the Great Debilitator – Shame

6.3 The Ultimate Art of State Change: Dissolving Your Ego

Sexeptance

7.1 Acknowledging What Lies at Our Core

7.2 Sex - What’s in it For Me as a Woman? (by Annette)

7.3 Actually, Men DON’T Want Just Sex (by Graeme)

Sexploration

8.1 When Two Become One

8.2 Mmmm... Turn Your Volkswagen Into A Ferrari!

8.3 Identifying Your Unique Blocks to Pleasure

The Shadow and the Spy

9.1 Embracing The Shadow

9.2 Doing Jigsaws: How To See The Unseen

Managing The Other

10.1 Porn vs Romance

10.2 How to Turn Jealousy Into a Gift

10.3 When Your Partner’s Had an Affair

10.4 Monogamy, Screwing Around, Open Relationships and Polyamory

What About Love?

11.1 The Universal and Personal Heart

11.2 The Differences between Men and Women in Love

11.3 The Hidden Person Inside of Us Worthy of Our Love

11.4 Letting Love In

Shine and Sustain

12.1 Creating a Solid Relationship Framework

12.2 Trust the Process

12.3 When is it Time For a Relationship to End?

12.4 Signs You’re Creating a Sacred, Intimate Relationship

Annette, Graeme and Oztantra

Suggested Reading

Editorial Reviews

In a clear and simple way, Annette and Graeme lay out the ground rules for engaging deeply in relationships.

Having built a foundation of intimate, loving connection, Annette and Graeme focus on celebrating loving relationships through our sexuality. They guide us with gentleness, humour and sensitivity through what has been for many a painful landmine of shame and broken dreams. They articulate the differences that men and women experience in their approaches to and experiences of sexuality. This helps us to deepen our understanding of ourselves, and have greater patience and tolerance to support and nurture our partners. They give clear and simple instructions on exercises for sexual healing.

This book is a guide for us to return our sexuality to its natural innocence, beauty and proper expression of love in intimacy. Many of the potholes on the path to spiritual lovemaking are identified, and solutions are presented in ways that are gentle, non-shaming and encouraging.

Unlike many books on Love and Sexuality, Coming Together shares, in detail, Annette and Graeme’s own struggles and triumphs. This helps us to feel more OK about our own personal challenges in our relationships.

The wisdom shared here comes from Annette and Graeme’s own personal experiences of sexual union in a committed relationship. Committed relationships offer us the container to go to depth, because they provide the safety to take the risk of showing up in honesty, passion and vulnerability. They enable us to work through difficult, awkward and even hurtful

feelings until a place of harmony and reconnection is established.

I honour their desire to make the world a more open-hearted and loving place. This book will help you to open your heart and live your life fully. Enjoy.

Nicholas De Castella, Director, Institute of Heart Intelligence

Annette and Graeme’s dedication is clearly shown throughout this carefully thought out and well-crafted book. They have no hesitation in sharing their own remarkable journeys of personal, sexual and spiritual growth. I recommend this book to those who have the courage and willingness to embrace their own journey of awakening.

Oceana, Original Co-Founder of Oztantra

You have done a fabulous job with this. You write beautifully, and it took all my strength not to get lost in the writing and forget to edit.

Alex Fullerton, Editor

This is a book for those who want success in their relationships. Having known Annette and Graeme over the long journey of self-discovery which has culminated in this roadmap, I’m in awe at the clarity, tenderness, inspiration and hope contained in here.

Dr Andrew Horwood, Melbourne, VIC

From the Publisher