Coming Together is a definitive, no apologies roadmap for a successful intimate relationship. Learn to create a deeply satisfying bond that lasts long after the honeymoon spark. This book normalises any struggles you might be going through without blame and offers solid and lasting tools to take you into increasing clarity and sustainable love.
Using our roadmap:
- You’ll find insight and suggestions to help you both fall in love with and desire your partner over and over again
- Making love will become a place of safety, connection and life sustaining pleasure
- Our simple ABC practice will become your go-to tool during times of challenge, helping you grow together rather than apart.
With relationship dissatisfaction and break down at an all-time high, if you buy only one book on relationships this year, make it this one.
About the Authors
Annette Baulch & Graeme Sudholz have been relationship counsellors, sex therapists and retreat facilitators with a tantric flavour since 2006. Their inclusive approach is known for changing lives through changing relationships, as couples learn to open their hearts and come home to love.
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About the Author
Annette began life in a small town in rural Victoria, Australia. She began her working life by 27 years in nursing. This included five years with Holistic Health Practitioner Dr Jo Horwood, where she began to understand the value of cultivating wellness, rather than simply treating illness. She then chose to train in emotional mastery and breathwork for several years with Nicholas De Castella in Melbourne at the Institute of Heart Intelligence. After nursing and prior to Oztantra, Annette operated her own breathwork practice, supporting her clients to 'breathe their way to freedom' and ran 'celebrating the feminine' workshops tailored specifically for women.
Annette holds a Diploma Certificate in Transpersonal Counselling. Her studies have included tantra yoga, emotional Intelligence, communication and relationship skills, breathwork, Inner child work and imago theory. She has completed ongoing study with other teachers of tantra and is a certified tantra practitioner with the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.
Relationship counsellor, author and sexuality therapist, Graeme Sudholz, has a down to earth, straightforward manner. His approachable and still highly professional approach has supported him in working successfully with thousands of men, women and couples across Australia and overseas. Growing up on the family farm in rural Western Victoria, Graeme spent 30 years passionately working in farming, alongside his first wife and their three children.
After his divorce, Graeme wanted to understand where the relationship had gone wrong and when he did learn, he wanted to share this knowledge with other people in the same position.
Graeme is qualified in counselling services, including several years with Lifeline, and is a qualified breathwork practitioner. His studies include tantra yoga, emotional intelligence, communication and relationship skills, breathwork, holistic psychotherapy, inner child and imago theory, with ongoing study with other teachers of tantra, including becoming a Certified Tantra Practitioner with the Source School of Tantra, Hawaii.
Table of Contents
How to get the most out of this book
Coming Together is a roadmap
Setting the Stage for Intimacy
1.1 Finding the value in an intimate relationship
1.2 Understanding the Relationship Landscape
1.3 What Actually IS Intimacy?
1.4 Learning to Feel (and Yes, There’s a Reason for It)
1.5 Vulnerability: The Blessing and Curse of Intimacy
Surrender and Freedom
2.1 The ABC of Coming Together
2.2 Developing Feeling Intelligence
2.3 The Nature of Mind and the Games that it Plays
2.4 The Longest, Most Worthwhile Journey from the Head to the Heart
Connection, Separation and Control
3.1 Me, You and Us: The Dance Of Intimacy
3.2 Using your ABC as a relationship tool
3.3 Dealing with Emotional Triggers
3.4 Ending The Power Play
Self, Self and Self
4.1 Know Thyself First: Acceptance is the Key
4.2 Your Relationship Begins with You
4.3 Trust Your Essence
4.4 Yes, You are Fascinating: Your Beliefs, Values, Needs and Desires
4.5 The Importance of Inter-Generational Boundaries
The Fine Art of Communication
5.1 Otherwise known as the finer art of the shit fight
5.2 Finding the Passion
5.3 Men and Woman are Different
5.4 So, Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!
Stuckness and State Change
6.1 Activities to Shift Your State When You Get Stuck
6.2 Dealing With the Great Debilitator – Shame
6.3 The Ultimate Art of State Change: Dissolving Your Ego
7.1 Acknowledging What Lies at Our Core
7.2 Sex - What’s in it For Me as a Woman? (by Annette)
7.3 Actually, Men DON’T Want Just Sex (by Graeme)
8.1 When Two Become One
8.2 Mmmm... Turn Your Volkswagen Into A Ferrari!
8.3 Identifying Your Unique Blocks to Pleasure
The Shadow and the Spy
9.1 Embracing The Shadow
9.2 Doing Jigsaws: How To See The Unseen
Managing The Other
10.1 Porn vs Romance
10.2 How to Turn Jealousy Into a Gift
10.3 When Your Partner’s Had an Affair
10.4 Monogamy, Screwing Around, Open Relationships and Polyamory
What About Love?
11.1 The Universal and Personal Heart
11.2 The Differences between Men and Women in Love
11.3 The Hidden Person Inside of Us Worthy of Our Love
11.4 Letting Love In
Shine and Sustain
12.1 Creating a Solid Relationship Framework
12.2 Trust the Process
12.3 When is it Time For a Relationship to End?
12.4 Signs You’re Creating a Sacred, Intimate Relationship
Annette, Graeme and Oztantra