Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

by JB Lynn

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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman by JB Lynn

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear.

Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to.

Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780062134622
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 01/24/2012
Series: Hitwoman , #1
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 130,338
File size: 855 KB

About the Author

Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn't get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.

JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and '80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.

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Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 27 reviews.
MollyzReviewz More than 1 year ago
Oh. My. Friggin'. Gosh. This was AWESOME! I had a bit of a mix up, and got to read this a little later than planned, but again I say. Oh My Friggin' Gosh! It was so worth the mix up to be able to jump into this and spend a night reading this novel in it's entirety. I just could NOT put down J.B. Lynn's awesomely hilarious, suspenseful, sexy novel. Margaret May Lee. Aka a neurotic hitwoman. Who talks to lizards. Yup. I thought the same thing. But, let me tell you. It was FANTASTIC! This lady is one bad butted woman. Her character was so complex and intriguing, witty, sassy and comedic all rolled into one. I laughed at her comments, her thoughts, her vocals when she was having her convos with the lizard. Which, mind you is NOT the gecko from the TV commercial. After tragically loosing her sister and brother in law in an accident that leaves her niece in a coma, Margaret accidentally bumps into a man in the hospital and nearly clobbers him to death with a chair when she seems him trying to kill a young, innocent child. That is one of the many incidents that will change her life forever. She meets a man who offers her a proposition. Along the way, she finds herself confiding in this not a gecko lizard and bumping into sex cops. Holy moly, I better stop there. I do NOT want to give this story line away. I'll say this...grab a copy of this book NOW! You'll laugh, laugh, laugh your head off as you follow Maggie on her mission of making a little cash to pay the bills. Throw in the talking lizard, the sexy cop, the up and down suspenseful twists, and you've got yourself one heck of a 5 Book worthy novel. I can seriously see this turning into a series....hint hint, Ms. Lynn! Maggie Lee would definitely make an awesome person to make come back in other novels.
JoAnn20 More than 1 year ago
Enjoyed..but feel like author was trying to hard to write like Janet Evanovich. THe similiarties in characters was a bit hard not too see. Bounty Hunter ..Hitwoman. Fun gal. Talking lizard was funny but it just reminded me of the Geico Commercials. Even the title, too many people have done the "Confessions" thing. Even that Snooki from Jersey Shore. So many things had too many similiarities but really enjoyed this authors other genre of mystery and serial killers. Her book First Victim was great. Overall just felt satisified.....sorry!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I LOVED this book and all that have followed, I highly recommend this series!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Hilarious, full of crazy, quirky characters. Maggy lee, understandably does not expect any happiness too come her way; but at the same time is irrepressible & funny. Throw in a talking lizard, two sexy cops, & some of her escapades, all of which made me laugh so hard, my stomach hurt!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Eventhough this was written in 1st person the story and dialog flowed so well the 1st person dialog didn't bother me. I have a general dislike of 1st person, so I wouldn't have bought this book if I had known, so I'm glad I didn't know. Even though the plot seemed a bit far fetched, it was written well enough to be acceptable. There were still some loose ends at the close of the story, and that lead to my assumption this might be the "pilot" of a future series, if so I will be on the look out for further adventures of this Hitwoman.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I actually laughed out loud many times while reading this. Great book! Would have given it all 5 stars if it had a better ending. Maybe there will be a follow up story because there was a lot of unanswered questions... Where are the jewels? What was the deal with the Dino? Is Paul a good guy or a bad guy? What about the Patrick storyline?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fantastic read! LOVED this book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was such a good book! You have to get past the idea that Maggie is going to kill someone. Once you do, she is just a great character. I will warn you...there is gore and a lot of F-Bomb's. They work for the story, but this is not for a weak stomach person. Maggie thinks the way most people think...they just don't admit it. However, I hope she finds a man that is worth it, not one she currently has.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
rgleason More than 1 year ago
I LOVE JB LYNN! She is SUCH an awesome author! You MUST read her "accidental" Hitwoman series (and anything ELSE sh writes! ) This series has it all..LOTS of heart along with laughs, talking animals (well Maggie can communicate with them) and suspense. The books are written with such cleverness you will find yourself reading one after the other! I just can't get enough of Maggie and her gang..Friends, family, mobsters,cops,and those feisty animals! Do yourself a favor and GET STARTED! You will be SO glad you did!
HartmyPebbles More than 1 year ago
Truly wonderful book, I actually put off reading this book because although it sounded good I'm not the type of person to enjoy reading about assassins. But once I started reading I didn't want to put it down and once finished I bought the next and then the next and so on until I finished all the series written to date. Each book was better than the one prior - maybe because I was so in love with the characters it was like hanging out with my friends. Very Fun, funny and charming characters. The animals will make your day! 
arthurauthorart More than 1 year ago
Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman was not a consistently funny read. At times it was very funny but it was also sad. The author takes a meaningful look at what it takes to kill another human being, which gave this novel depth. It’s a quick read that will entertain. 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
CaseyLConley More than 1 year ago
This book was immensely fun! A juicy story that will defiantly hook you and make you want more!
DyzieB More than 1 year ago
HILARIOUS! Couldn't stop laughing all the way through :)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
AMR0406 More than 1 year ago
This was a great book. JB Lynn’s writing was fun and witty and easy to read. I found it difficult to put this book down because I had to know how things turned out for Maggie in several situations. I think the book was set up perfectly for a series. There are so many questions that were answered yet I still had several others that will hopefully be answered in the books to come. I really liked the first person point of view in this book. I really felt for Maggie and understood the decisions she had to make. Patrick was a welcome addition to Maggie’s life and hope that something will come of their friendship. There are so many great characters in this book including Armani and Godzilla. I even like Tony/Anthony! I enjoyed how there were so many little side stories that could sprout off with each character and loved every interaction that Maggie was in with the other characters. I found myself laughing and tearing up throughout this book. If you are looking for a fun, emotional read with great dialogue and well developed characters, try this one! I highly recommend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Odd, quirky and delightful. The author is a great story teller and I hope this story continues.
MRPMN More than 1 year ago
This was a great book - wished there were more in the series!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you enjoy the Stephanie Plum series, you will certainly enjoy this book. My only complaint is the romance is this book, is well, not! I don't understand the attraction to Patrick AT ALL & Paul is just weird! Other than that, its a good read. Fast & fun!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This one had me laughing. Very entertaining and had me wishing for a series with these characters. Dad in prison, mom in looney bin (author's words, not mine), a niece in a coma, a couple hot policemen and a talking lizard named Godzilla. Sounds farfetched, but it kept me turning the pages. Thanks JB Lynn for sucking me into Maggie's world. Please take me back there again!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved it! Could hardly lay it down and there were definitely moments my boyfriend thought i went crazy because i was laying on the floor laughing. Definitely worth the read!