And Then They Lived Happily…
We enter our romantic relationships with great love, hope, and excitementwe've found the 'one', so we plan and forge our futures together. But sometimes, for many different reasons, relationships come undone; they don't work out. Commonly, we view this as a personal failure, rather than an opportunity. And instead of honoring what we once meant to each other, we hoard bitterness and anger, stewing in shame and resentment. Sometimes even lashing out in destructive and hurtful ways, despite the fact that we’re good people at heart. That's natural: we're almost biologically primed to respond this way.
Yet there is another path to the end of a relationshipone filled with mutual respect, kindness, and deep caring. Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of Calling in "The One" and creator of the groundbreaking method, Conscious Uncoupling, provides the valuable skills and tools for you to travel this challenging terrain with these five thoughtful and thought-provoking steps:
Step 1: Find Emotional Freedom
Step 2: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
Step 3: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart
Step 4: Become a Love Alchemist
Step 5: Create Your Happy Even After Life
This paradigm-shifting guide will steer you away from a bitter end and toward a new life that’s empowered and flourishing.
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About the Author
KATHERINE WOODWARD THOMAS, MA, MFT, is the author of the national bestseller Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, co-creator of the Calling in "The One" and Feminine Power online courses and certified coaches trainings, and creator of the Conscious Uncoupling five-step process, online course, and certified coaches training.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Landing on the Wrong Side of Love 1
Part 1 A Better Way To Break Up
Chapter 1 Shame, Blame, and the Failure of Love 15
Chapter 2 Bitter Breakups, Nasty Endings, and the Art of Living Unhappily Ever After 28
Chapter 3 A New Possibility Between Us: Introducing Conscious Uncoupling 44
Chapter 4 How and When to Do This Program 62
Part 2 The 5 Steps of Conscious Uncoupling
Step 1 Find Emotional Freedom 83
Step 2 Reclaim Your Power and Your Life 115
Step 3 Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart 137
Step 4 Become a Love Alchemist 169
Step 5 Create Your Happily-Even-After Life 210
Postscript: Evolving Love 255
The Conscious Uncoupling Creed 259
Deep Gratitude Goes To … 263
Online Resources 267
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
As a professional who works with people going through breakups, I believe that Katherine Woodward Thomas’ teachings are spiritual truths. She systematically addresses each one of the issues I see people in pain with every day. I’m always up for a deeper healing, so I tried her 5-steps out myself. The exercises that Katherine Woodward Thomas created have helped me heal another layer of my broken heart and with her expert guidance I am discovering new ways in which I am the source of "disempowering patterns in love” which helps me to access the power to evolve beyond them. Katherine’s step-by-step process is masterfully laid out and can be easily followed. I am adding her book to my list of resources for my clients wanting to breakup better.
The How-to Book to Empower Yourself, Protect Your Children & Co-create A Healthy Future After a Devastating Breakup With a genuine kindness and compassionate being, Katherine Woodward Thomas also brings solid research, experiential wisdom, and knowledge born of trial and error into a potentially life wrenching destructive experience to one that can break us open to the best and highest of us to create the future that opens our hearts, fills our souls and magnetizes our best. Katherine brings this unique ability to speak clearly and concisely to impart her distilled wisdom from vast resources and experiences, and doing so with a compassionate, kind, wise feminine voice that can hold you as you navigate the end of a relationship. She will cheer you on to be your best self in this process, coach you how to integrate her suggested practices, and speak to you with statements of how you might be feeling (did she just read my mind?), including those destructive thoughts of the “bad” partner to the disempowering or worse thoughts we say to ourselves. Then she helps us to realize our humanity and find we don't need to hide it, and yet takes our hand and moves us to the next level of healing, one filled with generosity, willingness, acceptance and transforming the “lead” of this situation into the “gold” of finding out the best of who we are. At this time, you may be thinking the worst of the other, feeling the soul crushing effects of divorce and/or separation, telling yourself untruths of being unlovable, etc., that could devastate the rest of your life. But there is a way through this process filed with land mines. Allow yourself to be gently guided through the sometimes treacherous emotional roller-coaster ride, coached through a process that actually works when it’s worked (and it takes some tenacity, soul-searching, sometimes brutal honesty, and willingness to truly uncover our ”source fracture wound” so that we may soar in our own lives and live them as deliciously as possible) so you find the hidden gems in yourself, let your radiance be full-blown, and manifest the divine soul that you are. There are no shortcuts to doing the work — and you might as well do it now rather than 10 years from now — but you don’t have to find your own way through alone or forage the path. With a time-tested, scientifically based process that has already worked for thousands, you can use Katherine’s model as your map for healing and having an ally in the process. One of the biggest benefits of this process is if you have kids. Instead of bitter custody battles, engaging children to choose one of you over the other, putting the kids in the middle of a battle zone — which most often creates long-lasting damage to the child in their well-being, their future success in life, as well as diminished prospects of a healthy relationship — you can create a “happily-even-after” ending that actually is a loving container for your kids to be able to own — and respect and honor — both parents, as it needs to be for children. Take the journey with Katherine Woodward Thomas, with her easy-to-read, down to earth, rather than mumbo-jumbo, jargon or academic, style to genuinely empower yourself to keep your heart open, find your highest and best self, and lead you walking in your light and creating your own happily even after and empowering future.
This book is full of wisdom and guidance, yet it feels like a healing conversation with a friend. Katherine Woodward Thomas understands the heartbreak and devastation that come with the end of a relationship. The book guides you through the steps to get a handle on the anger and loss, gain a deeper understanding of it, and transform it into growth and healing. For anyone dealing with the trauma of a separation, or still suffering from a past breakup, or wanting new insight into their current relationship, this book is a beacon of hope. I highly recommend it!
We have all needed to find a better way to navigate the ending of a relationship that speaks to our better angels. Now there is. Best-selling author, therapist and well know relationship expert, Katherine Woodward Thomas created Conscious Uncoupling over 7 years ago, offering it first as a successful pioneering online course, and now in her new book, reflecting that work and more. With her experience working with 1000’s of individuals and couples around the world, Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT really delivers. The book is a wise, reasoned, and compassionate take on modern breakups and a wonderful step by step guide for those who want to take a higher road when facing their own breakup. Filled with wisdom and insights, it’s also a good read for anyone wanting to improve the relationship you’re in or will be having in the future. She provides you with simple yet profound steps to bring your better self to the ending of your relationship, in ways that leave you whole and all concerned able to move forward. Katherine says, we need a way to break up better. Who better than the person who has been a pioneer in the field and has helped 1000’s of individuals and couples around the world to call in love, to improve relationships, and now, to help us end them with dignity and compassion?
Brimming with deep wisdom and insight, Katherine Woodward Thomas reaches out a compassionate hand to pull the broken-hearted from the pit of despair into a higher place of hope, light and love – fostering happier and healthier connections between separated partners and any children involved.
Masterfully written and easy to follow, this book is amazing. It just might be the recipe for a broken heart. I am practicing the five steps now. If you are trying to bright a future after a dark past, this book might be key. I'd also recommend that you buy or borrow a copy of When God Stopped Keeping Score, which gives a remarkable insight into the power of God and forgiveness. I just finished it last week and I have never felt so comforted in my life after my recent divorce.
Everyone wants every relationship they are in to work out. Some do and some don't. What is most important, regardless of the situation is to leave the integrity of the relationship intact, but most of us have never been taught how to do that or know that it is even possible. Katherine provides the best book on how to look at a relationship and decide if it something that should be or could be one to keep or whether it's best to move on. And moving on it never easy, but with her brilliant guidance, there will many more people who live happily even after. A must read.