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CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD
EMBRACING THE LOVE OF THE UNIVERSE
By Neale Donald Walsch
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.Copyright © 2012 Neale Donald Walsch
All rights reserved.
It is Easter Sunday, 1994, and I am here, pen in hand, as instructed. I am waiting for God. He's promised to show up, as She has the past two Easters, to begin another yearlong conversation. The third and last—for now.
This process—this extraordinary communication—began in 1992. It will be complete on Easter, 1995. Three years, three books. The first dealt with largely personal matters—romantic relationships, finding one's right work, dealing with the powerful energies of money, love, sex, and God; and how to integrate them into our daily lives. The second expanded on those themes, moving outward to major geopolitical considerations—the nature of governments, creating a world without war, the basis for a unified, international society. This third and final part of the trilogy will focus, I am told, on the largest questions facing man. Concepts dealing with other realms, other dimensions, and how the whole intricate weave fits together.
The progression has been
Individual Truths Global Truths Universal Truths
As with the first two manuscripts, I have no idea where this is going. The process is simple. I put pen to paper, ask a question—and see what thoughts come to my mind. If nothing is there, if no words are given to me, I put everything away until another day. The whole process took about a year for the first book, over a year for the second. (That book is still in process as this is begun.)
I expect this will be the most important book of all.
For the first time since starting this process, I am feeling very self-conscious about it. Two months have passed since I wrote those first four or five paragraphs. Two months since Easter, and nothing has come—nothing but self-consciousness.
I have spent weeks reviewing and correcting errors in the typeset manuscript of the first book in this trilogy—and just this week received the final, corrected version of Book 1, only to have to send it back to typesetting again, with 43 separate errors to correct. The second book, meanwhile, still in handwritten form, was completed only last week—two months behind "schedule." (It was supposed to be done by Easter '94.) This book, begun on Easter Sunday in spite of the fact that Book 2 was unfinished, has languished in its folder ever since—and, now that Book 2 is complete—cries out for attention.
Yet for the first time since 1992, when this all began, I seem to be resisting this process, if not almost resenting it. I am feeling trapped by the assignment, and I've never liked to do anything I have to do. Further, having distributed to a few people uncorrected copies of the first manuscript and heard their reactions to it, I am now convinced that all three of these books will be widely read, thoroughly examined, analyzed for theological relevance, and passionately debated for dozens of years.
That has made it very difficult to come to this page; very difficult to consider this pen my friend—for while I know this material must be brought through, I know that I am opening myself up to the most scurrilous attacks, the ridicule, and perhaps even the hatred of many people for daring to put forth this information—much less for daring to announce that it is coming to me directly from God.
I think my greatest fear is that I will prove to be an inadequate, inappropriate "spokesperson" for God, given the seemingly endless series of mistakes and misdeeds which have marked my life and characterized my behavior.
Those who have known me from my past—including former wives and my own children—would have every right to step forward and denounce these writings, based on my lackluster performance as a human being in the simple, rudimentary functions of husband and father. I have failed miserably at this, and at other aspects of life having to do with friendship and integrity, industry and responsibility.
I am, in short, keenly aware that I am not worthy to represent myself as a man of God or a messenger of truth. I should be the last person to assume such a role, or to even presume to. I do an injustice to the truth by presuming to speak it, when my whole life has been a testimony to my weaknesses.
For these reasons, God, I ask that You relieve me of my duties as Your scribe, and that You find someone whose life renders them worthy of such an honor.
I should like to finish what we started here—though you are under no obligation to do so. You have no "duties," to Me or to anyone else, though I see that your thought that you do has led you to much guilt.
I have let people down, including my own children.
Everything that has happened in your life has happened perfectly in order for you—and all the souls involved with you—to grow in exactly the way you've needed and wanted to grow.
That is the perfect "out" constructed by everyone in the New Age who wishes to escape responsibility for their actions and avoid any unpleasant outcomes.
I feel that I've been selfish—incredibly selfish—most of my life, doing what pleases me regardless of its impact on others.
There is nothing wrong in doing what pleases you....
But, so many people have been hurt, let down—
There is only the question of what pleases you most. You seem to be saying that what now pleases you most are behaviors which do little or no damage to others.
That's putting it mildly.
On purpose. You must learn to be gentle with yourself. And stop judging yourself.
That's hard—particularly when others are so ready to judge. I feel I am going to be an embarrassment to You, to the truth; that if I insist on completing and publishing this trilogy, I will be such a poor ambassador for Your message as to discredit it.
You cannot discredit truth. Truth is truth, and it can neither be proven nor disproven. It simply is.
The wonder and the beauty of My message cannot and will not be affected by what people think of you.
Indeed, you are one of the best ambassadors, because you have lived your life in a way that you call less than perfect.
People can relate to you—even as they judge you. And if they see that you are truly sincere, they can even forgive you your "sordid past."
Yet I tell you this: So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.
Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself.
My concern was more for the message than for me. I was concerned that the message would get besmirched.
If you are concerned about the message, then get the message out. Do not worry about besmirching it. The message will speak for itself.
Remember what I have taught you. It is not nearly so important how well a message is received as how well it is sent.
Remember this also: You teach what you have to learn.
It is not necessary to have achieved perfection to speak of perfection.
It is not necessary to have achieved mastery to speak of mastery.
It is not necessary to have achieved the highest level of evolution to speak of the highest level of evolution.
Seek only to be genuine. Strive to be sincere. If you wish to undo all the "damage" you imagine yourself to have done, demonstrate that in your actions. Do what you can do. Then let it rest.
That's easier said than done. Sometimes I feel so guilty.
Guilt and fear are the only enemies of man.
Guilt is important. It tells us when we've done wrong.
There is no such thing as "wrong." There is only that which does not serve you; does not speak the truth about Who You Are, and Who You Choose to Be.
Guilt is the feeling that keeps you stuck in who you are not. But guilt is the feeling that at least lets us notice we've gone astray.
Awareness is what you are talking about, not guilt.
I tell you this: Guilt is a blight upon the land—the poison that kills the plant.
You will not grow through guilt, but only shrivel and die.
Awareness is what you seek. But awareness is not guilt, and love is not fear.
Fear and guilt, I say again, are your only enemies. Love and awareness are your true friends. Yet do not confuse the one with the other, for one will kill you, while the other gives you life.
Then I should not feel "guilty" about anything?
Never, ever. What good is there in that? It only allows you to not love yourself—and that kills any chance that you could love another.
And I should fear nothing?
Fear and caution are two different things. Be cautious—be conscious—but do not be fearful. For fear only paralyzes, while consciousness mobilizes.
Be mobilized, not paralyzed.
I was always taught to fear God.
I know. And you have been paralyzed in your relationships with Me ever since.
It was only when you stopped fearing Me that you could create any kind of meaningful relationship with Me.
If I could give you any gift, any special grace, that would allow you to find Me, it would be fearlessness.
Blessed are the fearless, for they shall know God.
That means you must be fearless enough to drop what you think you know about God.
You must be fearless enough to step away from what others have told you about God.
You must be so fearless that you can dare to enter into your own experience of God.
And then you must not feel guilty about it. When your own experience is violating what you thought you knew, and what everyone else has told you, about God, you must not feel guilty.
Fear and guilt are the only enemies of man.
Yet there are those who say that to do as You suggest is trafficking with the devil; that only the devil would suggest such a thing.
There is no devil.
That's something else the devil would say.
The devil would say everything that God says, is that it? Only more cleverly.
The devil is more clever than God?
Let's say, more cunning.
And so the devil "connives" by saying what God would say?
With just a little "twist"—just enough to get one off the path; to lead one astray.
I think we have to have a little talk about the "devil."
Well, we talked a lot about this in Book 1.
Not enough, apparently. Besides, there may be those who haven't read Book 1. Or Book 2, for that matter. So I think a good place for us to begin would be to summarize some of the truths found in those books. That will set the stage for the larger, universal truths in this third book. And we'll get to the devil again, too, early on. I want you to know how, and why, such an entity was "invented."
Okay. All right. You win. I'm already into the dialogue, so apparently it's going to continue. But there's one thing people should know as I enter this third conversation: Half a year has passed since I wrote the first words presented here. It's now November 25, 1994—the day after Thanksgiving. It's taken 25 weeks to get this far; 25 weeks since your last words above, to my words in this paragraph. A lot has happened in those 25 weeks. But one thing that has not happened is this book moving one inch forward. Why is this taking so long?
Do you see how you can block yourself? Do you see how you can sabotage yourself? Do you see how you can stop yourself in your tracks just when you are on to something good? You've been doing this all your life.
Hey, wait a minute! I'm not the one who has been stalling on this project. I can't do anything—can't write a single word—unless I feel moved to, unless I feel ... I hate to use the word, but I guess I have to ... inspired to come to this yellow legal pad and continue. And inspiration is Your department, not mine!
I see. So you think I've been stalling, not you.
Something like that, yes.
My wonderful friend, this is so much like you—and other humans. You sit on your hands for half a year, doing nothing about your highest good, actually pushing it from you, then blame someone or something outside of yourself for you not getting anywhere. Do you not see a pattern here?
I tell you this: There is never a time when I am not with you; never a moment when I am not "ready."
Have I not told you this before?
Well, yes, but ...
I am always with you, even unto the end of time.
Yet I will not impose My will on you—ever.
I choose your highest good for you, but above that, I choose your will for you. And this is the surest measure of love.
When I want for you what you want for you, then I truly love you. When I want for you what I want for you, then I am loving Me, through you.
So, too, by the same measure, can you determine whether others love you, and whether you truly love others. For love chooses naught for itself, but only seeks to make possible the choices of the beloved other.
That seems to directly contradict what You put in Book 1 about love being not at all concerned with what the other is being, doing, and having, but only with what the Self is being, doing, and having.
It brings up other questions as well, like ... what of the parent who shouts at the child, "Get out of the street!" Or, better yet, risks his own life to run out into swirling traffic and snatch the child up? What of that parent? Is she not loving her child? Yet she has imposed her own will. Remember, the child was in the street because it wanted to be.
How do You explain these contradictions?
There is no contradiction. Yet you cannot see the harmony. And you will not understand this divine doctrine about love until you understand that My highest choice for Me is the same as your highest choice for you. And that is because you and I are one.
You see, the Divine Doctrine is also a Divine Dichotomy, and that is because life itself is a dichotomy—an experience within which two apparently contradictory truths can exist in the same space at the same time.
In this case, the apparently contradictory truths are that you and I are separate, and you and I are one. The same apparent contradiction appears in the relationship between you and everyone else.
I stand by what I said in Book 1: The biggest mistake people make in human relationships is to be concerned for what the other is wanting, being, doing, or having. Be concerned only for the Self. What is the Self being, doing, or having? What is the Self wanting, needing, choosing? What is the highest choice for the Self?
I also stand by another statement I made in that book: The highest choice for the Self becomes the highest choice for another when the Self realizes that there is no one else.
The mistake, therefore, is not in choosing what is best for you, but rather, in not knowing what is best. This stems from not knowing Who You Really Are, much less who you are seeking to be.
I don't understand.
Well, let me give you an illustration. If you are seeking to win the Indianapolis 500, driving 150 miles per hour might be what is best for you. If you are seeking to get to the grocery store safely, it might not.
You're saying it's all contextual.
Yes. All of life is. What is "best" depends on who you are, and who you seek to be. You cannot intelligently choose what is best for you until you intelligently decide who and what you are.
Now I, as God, know what I am seeking to be. I therefore know what is "best" for Me.
And what is that? Tell me, what is "best" for God? This ought to be interesting ...
What is best for Me is giving you what you decide is best for you. Because what I am trying to be is My Self, expressed. And I am being this through you.
Are you following this?
Yes, believe it or not, I actually am.
Good. Now I will tell you something you may find difficult to believe.
I am always giving you what is best for you ... though I admit that you may not always know it.
This mystery clears up a bit now that you have begun to understand what I am up to.
I am God.
I am the Goddess.
I am the Supreme Being. The All of Everything. The Beginning and The End. The Alpha and Omega.
I am the Sum and the Substance. The Question and the Answer. The Up and the Down of it. The Left and the Right, the Here and the Now, the Before and the After.
I am the Light, and I am the Darkness that creates the Light, and makes it possible. I am the Goodness Without End, and the "Badness" which makes the "Goodness" good. I am all of these things—the All of Everything—and I cannot experience any part of My Self without experiencing All of My Self.
And this is what you do not understand about Me. You want to make Me the one, and not the other. The high and not the low. The good, and not the bad. Yet in denying half of Me, you deny half of your Self. And in so doing, you can never be Who You Really Are.
Excerpted from CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD by Neale Donald Walsch. Copyright © 2012 Neale Donald Walsch. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
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