Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper / Edition 1

Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper / Edition 1

by Roy H. Lubit
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FT Press
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Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper / Edition 1

Many managers engage in destructive behavior that does considerable harm to their subordinates, their organization and eventually themselves. Whether they are narcissistic, unethical, rigid or aggressive, or simply depressed/anxious/burned out, working with them can be a nightmare. Moreover, they can do serious damage to their organizations by diverting energy from productive work, damaging cooperation and knowledge sharing, impairing retention of the best people, weakening morale, and making poor business decisions. In Coping with Toxic Managers, psychiatrist and organizational consultant Dr. Roy Lubit shows you how to develop your emotional intelligence and protect yourself and your organization from the destructive impact of toxic managers. While there are many organizational consultants who utilize psychological insights in their work and psychologists who consult to organizations, Dr. Lubit's depth of training and experience in psychiatry, organizational behavior and organizational consulting provides a basis for unique insights

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780131409958
Publisher: FT Press
Publication date: 12/01/2003
Series: Financial Times Prentice Hall Books
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 757,842
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.90(d)

Table of Contents


1. An Emotional Intelligence Approach to Coping with Toxic Managers and Subordinates.

Informed Consent for Those Who Read This Book. Emotional Intelligence Approach. Developing Your Emotional Intelligence. Roots of Toxic Behavior. Why Understand Difficult People? Myths Rationalizing Destructive Behavior. Further Reading.


Definition of Narcissism.

Origins of Destructive Narcissism.

Healthy Self-Esteem Versus Destructive Narcissism.

Types of Narcissistic Managers.

Factors Worsening Narcissism.


Additional Material.

2. Grandiose Managers.

Organizational Impact of Grandiose Managers. Origins of Grandiosity. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Grandiose Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading. Endnotes.

3. Control Freaks.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Control Freaks. Conclusion. Your Turn.

4. Paranoid Managers.

Origins of Paranoia. Impact of Paranoid Managers. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Paranoid Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.


5. Antisocial Managers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Antisocial Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

6. Unethical Opportunists.

Organizational Impact. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Unethical Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

Aggressive Managers.T

The Many Faces of Aggression.


7. Ruthless Managers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Ruthless Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

8. Bullying Managers.

Impact of Bullies. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Bullying Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

9. Homicidal Managers.

Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

10. Sexual Harassment.

Judging if It Is Sexual Harassment. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dealing with Sexual Harassment. Dating and Flirting at Work. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

11. Chauvinists Needing Diversity Training.

Why Do People Harass and Discriminate Against Others? Emotional Intelligence Approach to Chauvinistic Behavior. Conclusion. Your Turn. Endnote.

12. Volatile Managers.

Origins of Volatile Behavior. Factors Fostering Volatility. Organizational Impact of Volatile Managers. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dealing with Volatile Managers. Diffusing the Situation. Dealing with Your Own Feelings. For HR and Senior Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

13. Frantic Colleagues.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Frantic Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

14. Underpinnings of Aggression.

Three Theories on Aggression. Factors Modulating Our Aggression. Psychiatric/Emotional Problems. Culture and Aggression. Group Dynamics. Why We Let Ourselves Become Aggressive. Conclusion. Further Reading.

15. Surviving Aggression.

Organizations and Aggressive Managers. Aggression Versus Assertiveness. Coping with Aggressive People. Containing Our Aggression: Avoiding Self-Sabotage. Conclusion. Further Reading.


The Many Flavors of Rigid Managers.

Rigid Managers and Aggression.


Further Reading.

16. Compulsive Managers.

Underlying Psychodynamics. Origins of Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Style. Emotional Intelligence Approach to Compulsive Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

17. Authoritarian Managers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Authoritarian Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

18. Dictatorial Managers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Dictatorial Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn.

19. Oppositional Coworkers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Oppositional Coworkers. Conclusion. Your Turn.

20. Passive-Aggressive Managers.

Emotional Intelligence Approach to Passive-Aggresive Managers. Conclusion. Your Turn.

21. Organizational Impact of Rigid Managers.

How Rigid Managers Impact Companies. How Rigid Managers Can Rise in Organizations. Organizational Factors Promoting Rigidity in Managers. Ameliorating the Problem. Conclusion.



Further Reading.

22. ADHD.

Impact of ADHD on Managers. Managing ADHD. Dealing with Managers with ADHD. Conclusion. Further Reading.

23. Anxiety.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Social Phobia. Panic Disorder. Simple Phobia. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Treatment of Anxiety Disorders. Conclusion. Further Reading.

24. Depression.

A Common Problem Often Ignored. Impact of Depression. Origins of Depression. Bereavement. Dealing with Depression. Dealing with Depressed Colleagues. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Reading.

25. Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

Treatment. Dealing with Traumatized Colleagues. Conclusion. Further Reading.

26. Burnout.

Dealing with the Risk of Burnout. Conclusion. Your Turn. Further Readings.

27. Bipolar Disorder.

Dealing with Managers with Bipolar Disorder. Conclusion. Further Reading.

28. Alcohol and Drug Abuse.

Organizational Factors Affecting Substance Abuse. Primer on the Treatment of Alcohol and Drug Abuse. Conclusion. Further Reading.



Further Reading.

29. Developing Your Emotional Intelligence.

Personal Responses to Toxic Behavior: Growing Your Emotional Intelligence. Controlling Our Interpretation of Events. Dealing with Your Own Feelings. Conclusion. Your Turn.

30. Using Emotional Intelligence to Develop Your Company.

Organizational Responses to Toxic Managers. The Many Faces of Narcissism. Weighing the Pros and Cons of Narcissistic Managers. Keeping the Barbarians Outside the Gates. Conclusion. Your Turn. Endnote.



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Coping with Toxic Managers, Subordinates ... and Other Difficult People: Using Emotional Intelligence to Survive and Prosper 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is the best book I have seen on dealing with difficult managers. Rather than pop psychology this is a thoughtful and truly helpful handling of this important subject.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Lubit's volume, 'Coping with Toxic Managers and Subordinates,' should become a standard reference for veteran and new professional staff, experienced and beginning managers, and leaders of all non-profit organizations, especially cultural ones. Colleagues have said that these conclusions apply to all organizations, as well. Non-profits and cultural organizations face major management challenges today. For example, while the number of museums has increased, there has been a great decrease in total funding (from all sources). To stay competitive, these organizations have had to make fundamental changes in their operations and rely on a new breed of managers and professionals. This has been complicated by strong internal resistance to change. As a result, many cultural organizations find themselves unable to harness the talents of their staff and, instead, find productivity decreasing and morale dropping rapidly. High turnover, unhappiness and anger make for unmanageable environments. Lubit's book contains excellent strategic thinking for dealing with these rapidly changing settings. Incorporating insights from experience in psychiatry, business management, and organizational leadership, Lubit provides a a comprehensive, hands-on guide for dealing with your superiors, subordinates and peers. This book is very complete. It describes the most troublesome types of negative and 'toxic' personalities, explores the underlying reasons for the behaviors, and moves the reader from theory, to examples, to exercise sections called 'Your Turn'. The book is well organized, snappily written, and easy to use. It is complete with detailed 'how to' sections, charts, and examples with both good and bad endings. This book will facilitate not just survival, but productivity and well-being in the workplace -- and elsewhere. I recommend it highly.
Guest More than 1 year ago
One of the primary virtues of this book is its grounding in solid empirical clinical psychology and psychiatry. The author's background as both a clinician and corporate consultant gives this volume immense credibility, which is refreshing in this self-help universe of pop theories and pap solutions. I don't necessarily agree with all of the psychodynamic formulations the author puts forth to explain what makes many of these toxic personality types tick. But, while sticking pretty closely to established diagnostic categories, Dr. Lubit nevertheless provides practical, and real-world applications that business people can use on a daily basis. In this sense, it is a splendid example of scientifically-informed 'best practices' in the business world. While I personally enjoy a volume of some pith and substance, some readers may be put off by the 350-plus page length. But the book is arranged in a format that permits zeroing in on the chapters that are most relevant to a specific reader, so it's not necessary to read the whole book to get the info you need. This volume is a valuable addition to the library of personnel management psychology.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found it insightful and useful in understand others. It help to explain why some folks I work with and for, act the way they do. It also gave me some ideas for how to handle what is going on.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Get Professional help Dealing with Difficult people, or Simply Buy this Book.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This author offers clear, concise writing on a classic business problem: how to work with difficult people. Who doesn't work with at least 1 difficult person? What organization does not suffer productivity or financial loss from at least 1 toxic manager? As I read the well-defined descriptions of Toxic Managers, I couldn't help but recall the many faces of those difficult people that have crossed my own work path over the past 24 years, and how I might have dealt with them differently under Roy Lubit's construct. Surely you'll experience similar learning and benefit, as you hear what the author has to say about how to deal with the difficult people that you encounter in your work life. This book does a tremendous service by reminding us that work IS personal after all; that organizations are organic systems made up of human beings with personalities, traits, and problems that we cannot simply turn off or leave at home, like robots. These toxic behaviors and managers, as defined by the author, represent the hard HARD work that organizations must do to fix the illusive and, often substantially, costly problems. I am delighted to add a practical approach and book to my toolbox to help executives and managers take compassionate, actionable steps toward solving issues that typically impede business performance and progress. This book, I project, will help heal the hearts and performance of many organizations and professionals who seek a cure for whatever ails them.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
NashaCT More than 1 year ago
Great read! Very very helpful!
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Guest More than 1 year ago
This book is an excellent handbook for managers who struggle with motivating 'challenging' people. It enables the reader to quickly identify types of toxic managers and provides guidance on effectively dealing with each type. Should be required reading for anyone responsible for improving company/individual performance.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Coping with Toxic Managers and Subordinates provides a new way of understanding and dealing with the impossible managers and others that so many of us deal with so often. Rather than lumping all impossible people together the author notes that similar behavior can arise from different foundations. Understanding the foundation is crucial since it tells you how to induce change in the impossible person or if you should run for your life. The book covers a great deal of ground, but does so in a fashion that makes it accessible to those who never took a psychology course. On first glance the book seems to be primarily for people suffering under a tyrannical manager. In reality, it is just as helpful for those suffering from having to manage an impossible subordinate. The book is far less expensive than a psychotherapy session and the author knows alot more about business than the average psychotherapist.