Crawling Distance

Crawling Distance

by Stanski

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Crawling Distance by Stanski

Crawling Distance is the official, non-technical expression, applied (in general terms) to the distance between your favourite local boozer, and your home.
It may, however, be applied to the distance between any pub in your locality, and your home, subject to actual distance, and of course, your tolerance to alcohol…
More specifically, Crawling Distance is the distance you would be prepared, or indeed able, to actually crawl in the (probable) event of inebriation, and/or missing the last bus home/having no taxi fare (because you spent it on fish ‘n’ chips… twice).
Hence the expressions ‘Minimum Crawling Distance’ and ‘Maximum Crawling Distance’, used to aid the selection of an appropriate ‘alternative’ venue.
If you have ever experienced any difficulty in assessing whether or not a particular pub is ‘within Crawling Distance’, the rule of thumb is that if you can walk there comfortably, then you’ll probably be able to crawl back.
Above all, it should be noted that ‘Crawling Distance’ is not to be confused with ‘Staggering Distance’. Crawling Distance is the shortest route home; Staggering Distance can, more often than not, be the longest… and doesn’t necessarily guarantee actually making it home…

Crawling Distance by Stanski, is a kind of ‘fly-on-the-wall’ account of ‘your’ Friday Night Mission To Get Leathered With Your Mates. This most traditional of traditional routines, is told from the (allegedly) objective perspective of the ‘narrator’, who is, in fact, your conscious self, or your conscience…
Can you keep it together between you, with all that alcohol you’re bound to consume (if you’re taking the Mission seriously), or will both aspects of your character succumb to its effects…?

Product Details

BN ID: 2940044260252
Publisher: Stanski
Publication date: 12/20/2012
Sold by: Smashwords
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 285 KB
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

A one…A two…A one, two, three, four…!How’s that then, for a classic intro…?But wait a minute…That’s more of a song intro, innit…?And this is more of a story, innit…?So, let’s start again, shall we…?Hi…How are you…?I’m Stanski…Now, don’t worry, I’m not as bad as I seem…I’m a strugling author… Not a tortured artist…!The thing is, I’ve written these books…For people to read…Do you like reading…?Everyone loves a good read, don’t they..?Anyway, I’ve got these books… That I’ve written…I know, you don’t know which books…I’m just getting round to telling you about them, aren’t I…?The thing is…If you want something doing… You might as well do it for yourself…So…I wrote these books myself…Now…These books…Y’know… The ones I’ve written… But haven’t got round to telling you about yet…These books that I’ve written… That I’m telling you about now…Will be available, very soon, for you to download…From Smashwords…To your PC, Tablet, or Mobile Phone…!In fact, pretty much anything connected to the internet…!Thanks to the miracle of modern technology…!It never ceases to amaze…Does it…?A Bit Of BackgroundStanski is the kind of guy who doesn’t do things by half measures.For example, he’s the guy who went to Thailand in 1999, to see in the New Millennium.He enjoyed it there so much that he decided to stay on for a while.He didn’t return to the UK until October…October 2010…!Stanski began writing in earnest in 2005 while recovering from a motorcycle accident, in the northern city of Chiangmai, in which he sustained serious head injuries.Since then, he has completed four novels, and is currently writing a fifth.Examples of verse by Stanski can be found on his Blog, ‘Elephant Small’

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