The scenario is all too common: Girl meets guy (or Guy meets girl). Guy is smart, charming, and maybe even endearing. Girl falls in love. As the relationship progresses Guy's serious personality problems begin to surface. She gets longer and more vivid glimpses of habits and tendencies she didn't notice at first. With about 15% of the adult population suffering from one or more personality disorders — that's over 16 million potential relationship partners, says the National Institutes of Health — finding the right partner and maintaining a healthy love relationship is harder work than we thought! Crazy Love sheds light on the odd but surprisingly common disorders of personality so that readers can become better informed and more careful when entering or continuing a relationship. Johnson and Murray tell us why so many of us are attracted to personality disordered partners, and—most important—they offer strategies for detecting and avoiding such potential disasters. They also recognize the needs of readers who are already in committed relationships with personality-impaired partners, and offer hope in the form of healthy survival strategies and tips for making the relationship more livable.
About the Author
W. Brad Johnson, PhD, is professor of psychology in the department of leadership, ethics, and law at the United States Naval Academy and a faculty associate in the Graduate School of Education at Johns Hopkins University. He is a clinical psychologist and former lieutenant commander in the Navy's Medical Service Corps.
Kelly Murray, PhD, is an Assistant Professor and Director of Ph.D. Clinical Education at Loyola College in Baltimore. She is also a clinical psychologist who is in private practice in Bethesda, Maryland where she works and writes in the areas of personality disorders, relationships and trauma.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Crazy Love: Dealing With Your Partner's Problem Personality based on 0 ratings. 2 reviews.
You don¿t need to be in love with a PDP (this book¿s shorthand for ¿personality-disordered partner¿)¿or suspect yourself of being one¿to derive a great benefit from this book. Consider it also as a guidebook for helping singles to recognize the warning signs of a PDP so that they can think twice before getting involved with one. Despite the title CRAZY LOVE, the 12 types of PDPs described by Drs. Johnson and Murray are NOT clinically insane¿though if you¿re involved with one, you may sometimes feel that YOU are headed for a stint in a padded cell. It¿s tough to love a PDP (and sometimes difficult to leave one). If you are in such a relationship, the authors explain not only what¿s going on with your partner but why you probably find it so difficult to love or live with him or her. Using layman¿s terms, clear and lively writing, and a goodly dollop of sympathy and understanding, the authors describe 12 types of PDPs, what life is like when you are in love with each, what may have brought a person to the point of having this particular personality disorder, why non-PDPs may be attracted to this particular type, how best to relate to the given type of PDP, and what¿s the best way to leave, if and when you decide to. The authors devote one chapter each to the 12 types of PDPs they cover. Grouped as ¿odd, eccentric and weird¿ are doubting (paranoid), detached (schizoid), and odd (schizotypal). Grouped as ¿dramatic, erratic, and dangerous¿ are dangerous (antisocial), stormy (borderline), theatrical (histrionic), self-absorbed (narcissistic), and undermining (passive-aggressive). And the final group, ¿anxious, withdrawn, and needy¿ comprises scared (avoidant), sticky (dependent), rigid (obsessive-compulsive), and glum (depressive). Drs. Johnson and Murray lead off each of the 12 chapters on specific types with a case history of someone who loves a PDP, starting with the initial meeting and what attracted the non-PDP person to the troubled partner. Four other chapters deal with attraction to¿and troubles with¿being in love with (or married to) PDPs overall. This book is an invaluable resource for anyone who is emotionally involved with a PDP, will also be very helpful to anyone who suspects himself/herself of being a PDP, and, as I said at the outset, will also serve as a warning guide to recognizing PDPs in advance, for people who might otherwise unwittingly become involved with such a person. Whichever of these categories fits you, this book will definitely help!
CRAZY LOVE: DEALING WITH YOUR PARTNER'S PROBLEM PERSONALITY offers an examination of personality disorders and their impact on intimate relationships, our attraction to these types, and how to live with them or know when it's best to make a graceful exit. Drs. Johnson and Murray translate the diagnostic categories into ordinary language with detailed examples of specific behaviors. Schizoid is referred to as detached, Borderline as Stormy, Dependent as Sticky, Avoidant as Scared, etc. The authors talk about why we're attracted, often repeatedly, to specific types and how we might examine our own needs in this light. They are realistic about the stresses certain personalities will put on a relationship and what behaviors are deeply entrenched and not amenable to change. If you're married to or partnered with someone who is driving you crazy and feel confused about what to do, the authors have suggestions for setting limits, self-care, and ultimately the reality of continued living with such a partner. They recommend taking your time, seeking professional help and support, and deciding IF and how to make the painful transition to living without this partner whom you may still love. This is a book written with knowledge, respect, and compassion for all the individuals caught up in this human difficulty. I highly recommend CRAZY LOVE if you even suspect that your partner or housemate might be a personality problem.