Crossroads Road: A Novel

Crossroads Road: A Novel

by Jeff Kay

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Jovis McIntire's quiet life in the suburbs is turned upside down the day his mother-in-law wins $234 million in a multi-state lottery. She quickly makes an identical offer to all her children and their families: a large, custom-built home, and two million dollars cash.

But there's a catch, a nasty hook hidden inside the bait. If the deal is accepted, they will be required to live together on a newly-created cul-de-sac in southern California, for the remainder of the matriarch's life -- a woman Jovis sarcastically calls Sunshine.

Not a chance!

And that would only be the beginning of it, he knows. The rest of his wife's family is no prize, either. Nancy the bohemian earth child with organic, free-range armpits, Kevin the pompous scarf-wearing intellectual, Sue the 400-pound attention junkie who throws herself down flights of stairs for sympathy... Jovis sees them all as kooks, in one way or another, and they want him to live amongst them? Not for a million bucks! Or two million, even.

But his defiance begins to fade when Jovis returns to his job, and realizes he's now there by choice.

Crossroads Road is the first novel by Jeff Kay, proprietor of the popular humor site The West Virginia Surf Report! It is a rollicking comedy, perfect for fans of National Lampoon's Vacation, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

An early reader called the book "relentlessly hilarious."

Product Details

BN ID: 2940012347602
Publisher: Smoking Fish Media
Publication date: 03/29/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 264
File size: 650 KB

About the Author

Jeff Kay has maintained The West Virginia Surf Report!, a strangely addictive humor website, since late 2000. He grew up in Dunbar, West Virginia, and now lives near Scranton, Pennsylvania with his wife, two sons, and a border collie named Andy (aka Blacklips Houlihan). Crossroads Road is his first novel.

Customer Reviews

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Crossroads Road 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 63 reviews.
sewolf0310 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
An extremely humorous look a one man¿s wife and her family of unique characters.His mother-in-law wins the lottery and decides to build a cul-de-sac for her family to live next to her, and give each of the $2 million dollars. Would you be willing to pick up your family and move next to your mother-in-law knowing she paid for the house?Add to the mix a collection of siblings and their spouses, each of whom has their own trait, earth child, obese beyond healthy, etc.A definite read for those want a laugh at what some people will do for money.
Mimu on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and had trouble putting it down. It is a story about how families survive together. The matriarch of the family won a lot of money and then encourages her family to come and live with her. It shows how the wonderful and annoying idiosyncrasies that everyone has can develop to take over as the main characteristic others think of when they think of that person.
mohitgoel on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is my first book by Jeff Kay (well, it is his first book so no surprises there). This is a quick read and funny from the first page to the last. The story revolves around a dysfunctional (slight understatement there) family that comes into big money and how their life changes, for better or for worse. The author manages to hold the reader's interest even though the story line is fairly thin. All in all, a great read. Looking forward to reading more from the author.
SallyApollon on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This was a quick read, written in a very accessible narrative--lot of curse words & bathroom humor. Funny, but not neccesarily something I would recommend. It seemed to me to be a book that men might enjoy, my husband appreciated some of the funny scenes, preposterous though they were. The narrator's awful mother-in-law and succession of wierd & crazy family members that he moved next to after his M-I-L's lottery win were the BUTT of all the jokes. Creatively funny, made me feel a little dirty laughing at some of the mean-spirited jokes. Demonstrative of the fact that living life your way is worth more than being a millionaire.
heina on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
When I first started reading this book, I was sure that I would hate it. The protagonist goes for easy targets: bra-free women, vegans, the morbidly obese, the poor... I thought that I'd want to stop but the writing style kept me in, as well as the mystery.The ending basically rocked my world. I won't give it away, but let's just say that point of view really, really matters. I highly enjoyed this book and was never bored at any point during my reading.
njmom3 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
What would you do for a house and $2 million dollars in cash? That statement and the statement "Dysfunction R Us" describes this book. It is about a family whose matriarch wins the lottery and is willing to share as long as the family is willing to live together in one housing development.The book contained a lot of humor - bathroom talk, fat jokes, and other humor of that ilk, If you appreciate that, you will enjoy the book. Unfortunately, I do not. So, it was not the book for me.*** Reviewed for member giveaway ***
DanetteDorsey on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This was a strange book but in a good way. It is amusing, funny and intriguing. Just never know from page to page what to expect. Great read and I would encourage you to take the time to read it.
Marynamo on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I liked this book. The story is funny and the author got his point across. Not a bore at all. It is a easy read.
DuffDaddy on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Crossroads Road was one of funniest books I've read in a long time. The maddening situations, complete idiocy of the characters, and our protagonist's baffling expletives had me laughing out loud. The book is worth reading if only for the episode of Jovis helping Nancy and Kevin move. For fans of Christopher Moore or Nick Hornby, this book is a must. It's hilarious, quickly read and lots of fun. Get it now!
tvordj on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Got this as a free copy in exchange for a review. Loved it! It was a lot of fun, all about a very dysfunctional family that are all coerced into living in the same cul de sac after the mother of them wins millions in a lottery. She offers 2 million to each of her children and a luxury house if they will live as her neighbours. We get to meet all the siblings and their families, and they're all bonkers in one way or another. The story narrator comes across as the most normal. Will all of the craziness rub off on him? Will he get fed up and leave? Whatever happens is going to be described in a vividly funny way. You could almost see it as a sitcom in the making!
crustycruz on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
You know it is a good book, when everyone around me in the subway kept looking at me because I was laughing hysterically. Family dysfunction is something that we all encounter in our lives, Jeff Kay's spin on the family dysfunction is soo captivating, funny and just all around entertaining. cannot wait to read his next works. It is definetly a book which you pick up and only put it down when your stomach muscles need to relax from laughing so much.
MelindaLibrary on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
First of all, the title is explained, so if such a crazy title confuses you, it is resolved early on. This book is a what if...? What if your crazy mother-in-law wins the lottery and offers you a deal no sane person would take? What follows is a somewhat humorous (though there is some bathroom humor that did nothing for me) story of insane relatives and the effects of the bizarre situation on the narrator. Several situations remained unresolved by the end of the book and the ending felt rushed. This is a lite read.
ashschreck on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Great read, it sucks you. The characters, the plot -- all amazing and so funny. The ending left me hanging a bit, but overall totally worth the read!
seedlady on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
since this is jeff''s first published book, it's my first of his to read. i look forward to more!he took the idea of sudden wealth, and ran with it- right straight to a sophomoric family of characters you love to read about, but would hate to be related to. don't try to read this at work- choking back the howls will be painful, and the boss willl catch you it, read it, enjoy it. short and sweet.
deanfetzer on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I hate the title. But then, I¿m supposed to - you¿ll work out why when you read this. I wasn¿t sure I was going to enjoy this excursion into dysfunctional family life, but Jeff Kay¿s situations and the observations of the ¿normal¿ narrator of the story piqued my interest and often made me laugh out loud. As far as the plot goes, Donna, matriarch of the family wins millions on the lottery and offers all her kids a house and $2 million, if they agree to move into the new development she¿s creating in California. What seems to be a deal with the devil swiftly degenerates, culminating in ¿The Incident¿. I thoroughly enjoyed this and can highly recommend it. (Oh, I hate the cover too, if I¿d seen this on a shelf in a bookstore, I wouldn¿t have touched it with a barge pole.)
asigg44 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I won this book from LibraryThing's Member Giveaways.This is one of the funniest books I have read in a very long time! This is a book about a seemingly "normal" family of four living in Pennsylvania. Jovis (which is a name his younger brother came up with when he couldn't pronounce Joseph) and his wife Tara live with their two sons in a suburban Pennsylvania town, both working to make ends meet. Out of the blue, Tara's mother wins the lottery and makes a deal for Tara and her brother and sisters to come live in California on a newly constructed development exclusively for their family, plus receive $2 million per sibling. Sounds like a dream come true to Jovis, except that Tara seems to be the only "normal" one out of her whole family. From the way Jovis describes, this is the beginning of a huge family fiasco, and it seems what he predicts comes true.Dysfunctionality is a "nice" term describing this family. Between Tara's mother's crazy demands, her sister's weird family and her second sister's flair for the dramatic, this is a great and easy read! I truly enjoyed this book and read it easily in a day and a half. I would love to read more from this author!
VikingGypsy on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
What a hilariously funny book! Jeff Kay did a fantastic job at developing his characters, creating a plot, and is just a wonderful storyteller. The predicaments the main character found himself in were quite creative and entertaining. I could barely put this book down! Beautiful story, beautiful format, five stars all around. I highly recommended Crossroads Road to any adult who needs a laugh, or even wants to feel better about their own family!
starboard on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Crossroads Road is a novel with the underlying theme of "there's no such thing as a free lunch". Jovis and his wife uproot their content suburban family to move to California and live in a community created by and paid for by his lottery-winning mother-in-law, Sunshine. Although Jovis anticipates family issues, those that follow are worse than expected. Sunshine seems to be playing God with her new-found power, and the rest of the family's craziness becomes visible to all. This novel kept my interest and was humorous.
cataryna on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
One of the funniest books I've read in a while. You have to love the irrational dysfunctionality of the entire family, including Jovis and Tara. While the family is undeniably crazy, they are endearing and you find yourself wanting more of their dysfunctionality. The story is very well written and it keeps your attention from the very first page. I loved it and will recommend it to my friends. P.S. I would love to see these characters in future books by the author.
astucity on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Crossroads Road is Mr. Kay's first offering in the literary world. Relentlessly funny and over the top, it was a pleasurable read and was so good, I read it all in one day.Jovis McIntire and his wife Tara come into a sudden stroke of fortune (misfortune) when his mother-in-law, "Sunshine", wins the lottery to the tune of 234 million. She proposes that each of her children move into a subdivision that she is having built just for the family. They will each inherit the house and 2 million dollars.The catch is they have to stay there until she dies.The characters are quirky but that only serves to bring them to life. The book was solid, the story flowed fluidly throughout, and I can't recall a dry moment.The most enjoyable thing is it really makes you wonder; "What would you put up with for 2 million dollars?".
Tambeans on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This novel was hysterical. It reminded me of a Chevy Chase movie (think Vacation series.) It's about a family who are all bananas, and now the whole family is living on top of each other. Funny story, well written and all around enjoyable.
haidadareads on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This book was wittingly, hilarious! At the beginning, I wasn't so sure, I'd find any humor in it. But as the story continued, I really found myself laughing out loud! The story is told by Jovis, who moves to California to live with his wife's dysfunctional family after his mother in law hits the $234 million dollar jackpot. Life should be really sweet after becoming instant millionaires but the grass is not always green on the other side. I found myself thinking that this would make a great movie with "American Beauty" and "Running With Scissors" in mind.
23points on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I hesitated writing this review because I saw how much other people liked the book and how well reviewed it was. I've only read the first about 20 pages (read it on kindle, so not totally sure), and I've stopped. I was excited for a light hearted kicky funny read but the protagonist goes for the cheapest of laughs. A fat woman gets stuck in a bathroom? Wow. Mind boggling creativity. But, apparently other people could get past these offensively boring side bars, maybe the book is good?
Gwnfkt12 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I loved this story. It's fully developed characters and unpredictable plotline and constant humor... I felt like I was living on Crossroads Road myself. But I thoroughly enjoyed my stay unlike Jovis and his family. The only "incident" I had was several uncontrollable bouts of laughter. While I do feel like there were too many lose ends at the conclusion, I have a feeling it is only my desire to reimmurse myself in this crazy world that makes me want to keep reading. The ending was delightfully complex, with Jovis striving to get voted back into Crossroads Road and prove that he's normal, and really left me thinking... what is normal anyway?
cwaldrum on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
The author, Jeff Kay, had me from the first paragraph. I didn't stop until the book was done and I was crying from laughter! His description of the craziness of this family and the push it takes to make Jovis snap and lose it on them all was absolutely perfect!! Everyone who reads this can relate to at least one of the crazies in the family, or even relate to Jovis and his wife. Anyone looking for a good, funny read should definitely pick this one up!!