Cure Your Democracy

Cure Your Democracy

by John Cooker



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Cure Your Democracy by John Cooker

There's an epidemic sweeping across America but no one's taking it seriously. The infected look like normal Americans, at first, but then they open their mouths and foreign words leap out known only to inhabitants of their special nation: left coaster, mama grizzly, Obamacare, drill baby drill; or neocon, glass ceiling, teabagger, I didn't inhale.
Drop the word "multiculturalism" and half of them will have an immediate allergy-like reaction. Their faces will turn red with fever as they glide away from you. Drop the phrase "lamestream media" and the other half will cringe and hold their brow with a splitting headache as they back away from you.
These otherwise normal Americans are obviously suffering from something. The author in this pioneering book has discovered what that is: severe, extremely contagious viral illnesses that are plaguing the entire country. He reveals here in layman's terms the infection, spread and treatment of these viruses. They make us insanely ill and susceptible to conspiracy theories, and are so easily passed between individuals by speeches, handshakes and karaoke.
He discovers Viral Media is not just a figurative expression. One morning an infamous radio personality spouts off a misinformed, belligerent opinion. By that afternoon the author's research subjects are repeating it with the same fever and refudiation. The viral words of the opinion had infected them and seemed to have taken possession of their minds like some voodoo zombie incantation.
No one is safe and many are contaminated. Treatments are provided so that they may become virus free and regain the ability to associate with those "other" Americans-those infected with the opposing virus.
If you are tired of the partisan arguing in our great country, this book is guaranteed to lift you to higher ground and make you LOL.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780983572404
Publisher: Spin Doctor Press
Publication date: 05/17/2011
Pages: 266
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.60(d)

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Cure your Democracy 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 9 reviews.
emilywilliams81 More than 1 year ago
If you like politics, democracy, or just care about the state of politics in the U.S., then John Cooker's hilarious satire will be the book for you! As we head into the high campaign season for 2012, Cooker's take will keep you laughing and keep things in perspective. No politician or topic is off-limits and Cooker's humor is worthy of any of the late night shows. I, for one, can't wait to see what he has to say about the 2012 season.
bwbatlarge More than 1 year ago
Cure Your Democracy: The Infection, Spread and Treatment of Contagious Opinions by John Cooker, MRI is an incredibly amusing and accurate exploration of the politically extreme natures that are symptomatic of society today. Cooker highlights the disease and infection-like nature of political and social extremity through biting social commentary, written as a diagnosis for the diseases he's dubbed "Democratitus" and "Democratosis", or the extreme right-wing and left-wing sentiments that are orally passed from person-to-person, using unsubstantiated opinion as their basis with little regard for facts. Cooker advocates that it is "high time we look at these viruses seriously and treat them for the debilitating diseases they are." Democratitus and Democratosis have "spread throughout the entire country yet they remain untreated and, amazingly, undiagnosed in the majority of those infected." He illuminates the various symptoms of each disease, from conspiracy theory to paranoia, and the similarities and differences that exist. Cooker's acerbic wit shines through when explicating possible symptoms: "some put PhD after their names to guarantee common people would never be on familiar terms with them," and his description of one man plagued by paranoia as someone who was motivated by the belief that "Social Security should have security taken out of its name and replaced by ism." He even provides a diagnostic quiz to help readers determine whether they are afflicted with Democratitus or Democratosis with answers that are highly amusing, yet highly reflective of American society. The quiz includes such indicators as your reaction to a Michael Moore movie, finding instructions in Spanish, and discovering that your cousin, Bruce, is marrying Terry with a "y", not an "i", and that you are at a gay wedding. Yet another quiz gauges how favorably you view various items, concepts, and institutions, with responses that evoke laughter when reading of another's symptoms and nods when reading your own. One such response is found in gauging your view of Marlboro cigarettes: "it's terrible for your health, unlike smoking marijuana;" another is found in one of the responses to how you feel about the green movement: "there are neighborhood covenants against hanging clothes out on a line to dry for a reason." The true strength of the work lies in Cooker's ability to criticize all ends of the political spectrum fairly and without bias, illuminating the detrimental nature of political extremity through wit and humor. Although we may not recognize our own symptoms, seeing only the symptoms of those with opposing viewpoints, Cooker helps us to identify our disease and control its spread. For some readers, Cure Your Democracy may stimulate self-reflection and personal growth, realizing that they are afflicted by the very same symptoms that they have long accused others of having; whereas, for other readers, it is simply entertainment, keeping you laughing out loud from cover-to-cover.
FeatheredQuillBookReviews More than 1 year ago
From word one of this new book, John Cooker brings readers a look at reality, which is completely engrossing and unbelievably hysterical. There are two very contagious diseases spreading through the world today. One is Democratitus, which can place the victim into a stress-induced revulsion for Government in any of its forms. Disease number two is called Democratosis, which is just as serious (fever, bed-wetting, etc.) where the inflicted pretty much get sick as dogs when they have to mingle with the People in any way, shape, or form. This author brings to light these very serious maladies that have held Americans helpless for decades, as they've caused the constant scowls, sneers, pessimism, anger, and rotten attitudes that we all seem to carry around with us on a daily basis. With each and every chapter, these dreaded viruses are laid out. Beginning with the symptoms of each, from the powerful to the subtle, such as not being able to read the "Wall Street Journal" without shaking (Democratosis); to the inability to watch "NewsHour with Jim Lehrer" without violently shaking the head "no" (Democratitus). This author, chapter by chapter, does an excellent job of showing us our complete and utter ignorance when it comes to politics. In fact, politics - which used to be a very serious subject - has mostly become late night fodder. Just think, Jon Stewart has received so many Emmy's (not to mention dollars) that he can barely count them anymore - simply because of the rich ridiculousness that he is offered every day the stock market opens and closes. Not to mention, when a congressman or high-ranking politico gets caught with a girl, boy, priest - even with his shirt off - Jon and his writers get to bring home the gold. It is also a bit frightening when you learn that most people not only want and enjoy but, actually prefer to get their news from Jon instead of tuning in to the "serious" newsmen. This book explores the differences between 'lefties and righties;' the way brain cells continue to die, and wax continues to build up in the victims' ears making it impossible for anyone to actually listen anymore. He covers the Barkdoll Test, conspiracy theories and, my favorite, paranoia. (Readers will especially get a kick out of Eddie Simmons who lives with a tank in his front yard). Mr. Cooker speaks about all different kinds of wars such as the Elvis Gyration battle in the 1950's. He also unveils secret information about what certain words really mean. Example: 'Plumbers' is actually a code name for spies trained as Navy Seals who come up through toilets to steal enemy documents. After reading each and every chapter of this powerful book readers will, at times, hear the opening banjo notes from Deliverance playing inside their heads; while, other times, they will wonder whether or not they should take the Allergy Test (which is absolutely hysterical). There may be no cure at the moment - or antiviral serums for these issues - but the author delivers what may be a perfect remedy in a section called "Succession," which may just have you going to the hospital because your side actually split. Quill Says: A perfect book that offers everything one needs to know about how to avoid these viruses and perhaps find a cure. Isn't it always ironic that comedians are the ones who actually have the answers?
VoyeuristicPoet More than 1 year ago
Mr. John Cooker displays a cunning knowledge in this layman's guide to recognition of the ever-present, yet decidedly disturbing viruses currently plaguing American members of congress, Presidential administrations and many card carrying audiophiles of the fourth estate. These unwitting carriers and spreaders, of the perhaps soon-to-be infamous viruses "Democratosis and Democratitus" continue to run amok via media driven frenzies and camouflaged Internet blogging causing more and more average individuals to succumb to the power of its transmission. As a result the CDC has washed its hands in a search for an antidote or wonder drug to combat this sound byte infused spread across contemporary American culture and lifestyles. As Mr. Cooker points out, today's American culture and lifestyles are under attack and may be doomed to a ruinous future with the unchecked gnawing presence and contagion within unsuspecting general populations of these ingrained and stealth like symptomatic enemies of common sense. Oh where is our Thomas Paine when we need him most? An interesting and oft times outlandish look at many of this country's leaders, mover and shakers, and the influence they wield like a double edged sword of destruction through a constant repetition of inane treatises of proffered self aggrandizing thoughts and oratory. "Cure Your Democracy" leaves few stones unturned as it 'takes no prisoners' through its rampaging and comedic look at America's opined dumbing-down and eventual demise in the Twenty-first Century.
NCcharmer More than 1 year ago
John Cooker's Cure Your Democracy highlights the incredible humor and the reality that he is most likely nuts, but since he writes well he really ought to get away with it. In this expose' of two diseases that have grabbed their hosts and have taken over America. In Cooker's opinion, these two viruses, Democratosis and Democratitis are suffered in varying degrees of severity by us all. Believe me, no one is left out of his hilarious book. Bob Dylan, Oprah and anybody you can think of will line up with one of the two viruses; even Jim and Tammy Baker. It's a very funny book and his tests to determine which virus you have will leave you laughing out loud. It is one of the most enjoyable books I have read in a long, long time. I fully intend to go back and read it again. I found myself with touches of both viruses and I would really like to narrow down to one. I won't reveal which. Cure Your Democracy is a huge laugh out loud experience. Way to go, Cooker.
AmyU10 More than 1 year ago
No matter where you look these days there are so many political, racial, etc. opinions being thrown together, that most of the time they are not formed by true knowledge or research, but by listening to one-sided ignorance in my opinion. People are not taking the time to do their own research and create their own opinions anymore. Instead they go with what their friends and family tell them or on whatever spoof or viral message was sent across Facebook that day. This book does a wonderful job of diving into this huge problem Americans now face. Learn how to identify it in yourself and how to protect yourself from falling short in this area by reading this awesome book.
giantwarrior More than 1 year ago
Cure Your Democracy: The Infection, Spread and Treatment of Contagious Opinions by John Cooker, MRI, uses humor to address the social ill pervading our society today: extreme and contagious political opinions. These opinions, which he names "Democratitus" and "Democratosis", are transmitted from person to person like a virus. Democratitus and Democratosis are diseases that do not appear to be interested in adding to their numbers, rather, they are diseases that are intent on destroying each other; without its "adversary", each virus "loses its grip on its host," becoming "less hot and feverish, more lukewarm and benign". He addresses everything from Liebermen, "clowns juggling from one circus act to the next, manipulated by one host to bore the other to distraction", to pollsters "scantily clad dancers who use polls to hold onto while they strip tease and solicit their opponents with seductive questions" to Palinistas, "a special ops group, led by a. female antagonist who with pluck and determination storm the enemy's stronghold armed with Alaskan salmon caught with their bare hands." No matter which political disease you suffer from, Cure Your Democracy is certain to entertain you with Cooker's unique brand of intellectually scathing wit.
M_R_Shah More than 1 year ago
Often times, humor is the best way to convey a serious matter. Few issues are as critical and convoluted as partisan politics in America. When you incorporate the viral nature of New Media (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, etc.), you see news, among other things, rip through the country like wildfire. In "Cure Your Democracy," John Cooker leans heavily on humor to alert and encourage all of America to take the nature of "viral illnesses" seriously. Essentially, the public has been turned into a walking pendulum: one day, a speech by a potent figure in society will be on YouTube within minutes-winning over supporters; the next day, negativity will spread across the same social platforms and change public opinion. What's most interested, and largely the problem, is that much of these discussions are opinionated. Discussing one's opinion over and over on as many social platforms as possible should not mean that opinion has become the truth. This, however, is the very problem facing the United States in the tech-savvy world of the 21st century. Without giving too much away, "Cure Your Democracy" is an eye-opening book that will make you laugh and go "aha, I knew something like this was going on." It is a highly-recommended, informative read for all Americans, particularly those that are not-or choose not-to be affiliated with what goes on in society and the government.
GabrielNA More than 1 year ago
"Cure Your Democracy" is an entertaining book that really nails what is going on in America today. Full of humor, the author really brings attention to how easily it is for "opinions" to turn into something more and really get out of hand. This is a book that any American will enjoy and relate to. I highly recommend it.