Widely praised for the exceptional humanity and technical virtuosity of her earlier collections, Murray now explores the daily struggles of life and death in the natural world, the hidden pleasures and ironies of life in small-town America, the vulnerable underside of artistic communities, and the myriad complexities that pervade our dreams and relationships in this new century. With wit, generosity, and unflinching honesty, Murray gives us poems that mourn and praise, illuminate and challenge.
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DANCING ON THE EDGE
By Joan Murray
Copyright © 2002 Joan Murray.
All rights reserved.
Because Lena's not yet three,
she doesn't know the reason for this place.
"I like this little house. And this little house,"
she says as she loops around them
the play-size "houses" of the dead.
Here in Key West, as in New Orleans,
where the land and sea are nearly level,
some are set just above the surface,
and Lena leans on their "big stone beds."
But since Lena's not yet three,
she doesn't know what any of it means:
she doesn't know where the earth rolls away to
every night while she's asleep
or who rolls with itsome above it, some below.
And because she doesn't know,
she moves in waves of joy
like the spirit on the surface of the waters
before it ever thought of light.
She squeezes between two "beds"
that are stretched out side by side
one's bigger than the other-
and pats them, left then right,
and reunites what slipped apart a hundred years ago:
a motherand her child of a day.
We learn this from their surnames and the dates
but Lena doesn't read,
and there's no reason to explain.
We watch her bolt through the gate
where the men of the Maine
sail on in shipshape rows
as she splashes among their stones.
"God Was Good to Me," one epitaph proclaims,
but Lena has no knowledge of God.
Or his goodness. Or the opposite implied
by what's said on every side
in the silent houses of the dead.
When we say it's time to go, she runs ahead again,
drops down before an upright stone,
and moves her finger across its surface.
She runs to another, repeats her motions
as she reads its lines out loud:
The name. The date. And the other.
And though she's still too young to read,
she reads them anyhow:
"I love you. I love you. I love you."
But how could she know?How could she know
what would trump all the mansions of gold?
A family says goodbye to a boy soon to be deported to a death camp.
New York Times Travel Section photo caption (9/3/2000)
It's chicken wirethe kind you see everywhereand it probably
is tall. Although, with the top cropped off, it's hard to tell.
The only pole visible was, till recently, a sapling tree
it's ganglyand still a little knobbyas if someone didn't try
or couldn't spare the time to do it right. Besides,
there are no chickens on either side.
At first it seems we're outsidebehind the boy, sitting cross-legged
with his elbows on his knees. His pants are short, and the pale
flesh of his thigh (seen here in black and white) is as bright
as the six-point star on his shoulder blade. Though we can't
guess the expression on his face, he looks relaxed
as he sits and waits between two clumps of weeds.
The ones on the other side are easier to see: the two who might be
his sistersgirls with thick black hair, each resting on an elbow
with her legs stretched on the ground. The one on the left
looks away into the distance; the other, closer,
with her cheek pressed on her shoulder, looks down
where nothing isand meets its gaze.
The fourthan adolescent like the restsits slumped against the pole
and hunches over. With the same short hair and identical cap,
he is staring past the mirror that's his brother. His sober
eyes hang on the fence that stands in his line of sight,
saying, narrow your shoulders, try to hide,
but in only a little time, you'll be inside.
The fifth, at the right, clearly older than the otherskneels low
and feels the fence against her face. Though she looks serene
as she whispers her goodbyes, her hands betray her
she must be his motherwringing her yet wet fingers
in the apron she'd have hung up in the kitchen
if the boxcars weren't filling at the siding.
She has so much to tell him, and the fence is so obliging,
though it's full of airhardly even thereits arms keep intertwining-
making diamond shapes around their eyes like a secret leaded window,
and she's reminding him through the panes to say his prayers,
to answer promptly whatever he's asked, and pass a message
to his father, who's gone ahead. Oh yes, he'll remember
he'll remember the fence and everything she said
he'll remember all his life.
NOW WE KNOW
We've been wondering what that duck's
been doing by the pond all month
ambling by our apartment windows
in her quirky isolationeven though it's nearly
winter, and she must have known
the snow was coming and the other ducks had gone.
I'd guessed she must be defective
it could happen in a million different ways:
just one snag in one strand of DNA
and she could be missing
whichever part of whichever lobe
says to a duck: Get going.
Last month, when ice was forming near
the shore, I'd sometimes see her in the center
where our stolen pumpkin was still floating
but now it's December,
and it's anchored to the surface,
where it blazes like something meant to warn us.
And there's that duck parading on the ice,
and three boys (two with bikes)
throwing stones in her direction.
She walks around them casually
which makes me think she probably can't fly.
In any case, I've got to save her from those boys.
I grab my coat. And a loaf of whole wheat bread.
I'll try to coax them to feed her. Instead of
kill her. But the boys reject my offer.
They say they'd rather throw their stones:
We're not hurting anyone. And to prove it,
the biggest boy hurls one downthe size of
a footballit doesn't go through
but makes a huge concussion
still, the duck doesn't move.
But from the reedsjust below where they've been standing,
a duckling skitters across the ice
to the reeds on the opposite side.
So now we know what she's been up to.
And what's gone wrong here.
And at once, something comes upon the boys
now they want to feed her. But the small nervous one
(the one without a bike) grabs the bag
from my hand and runs around the pond,
trying to find the duckling. But he can't.
When he scuffles back, dragging the bag of bread,
the three of them go at ittearing it up
till they've torn the whole loaf, and she's asking
for more, and the boys are asking me what to do.
I tell them, I don't know. It's late, it's coldI'm going in.
As I sip my coffee at the window, I watch the boys
arguing about the duck. Their voices drift up
getting mixed up with the news on my radio.
It's all about a NASA crew who'll fix the Hubble telescope
so the universe will look as clear as we'd like it to.
They've been planning their mission for a year
they've got a hundred and fifty tools
two of everything they'll need. And if they succeed,
we'll know how old the universe is,
and how our galaxy began. And we'll understand
the nature of black holes. And someone's
bound to tell us what to do.
For now, the boys keep trying their old maneuvers:
counting to three, then lobbing their stones
they're trying to break the icefor her
while she stands on shore beside them,
looking as if she's hired them. I'm sure they're the ones
who stole our pumpkin for the fun of it,
but now the fun's gone out of them
now they know the guilty secret of the universe
right outside their apartment windows.
They don't even cheer when a stone goes through.
Though they've got a hole, it's much too small
for a duck to float around inand they know.
I watch the biggest boy crawl down beside the hole,
and pound his heels against its sides to make it wider.
When he can't stand the icy water any longer,
he pulls off his shoes and socks and pedals home
where someone's bound to yell at him.
Then the middle one starts his turn
easing his bike down the steep incline.
But the weight of the bike and the gravity of the world
want to drag him into the hole. He strains his whole
small self against them, inching his way
till he can thump its front wheel on the ice. But it bounces up
the ice won't break. No matter how many times he tries.
I can see he's in tears as he looks up at my window
before I start to wave, he shoots me a look of hate.
It's nearly dark, when the small one finally
drops the bag and follows the middle one home.
Yet it's easier to see that ducknow that she's slid
into the holewhere she's floating around
as the boys had wanted her to. I glance around the surface
of the pond, hoping to see her duckling. But I don't.
Should I wish it spring? Or maybe death?
Neither of which will come quick enough.
My empty bag is skittering on the ice
the wind's inside, telling it what to do.
Excerpted from DANCING ON THE EDGE by Joan Murray. Copyright © 2002 by Joan Murray. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
What People are Saying About This
In Dancing on the Edge, Joan Murray has dropped the dramatic mask and sets out to record and evaluate her own everyday experiences in poems which are graced with an intensity of observation and a deep affection for the life around her. This is a lively, winning collection.