Dating Like Airplanes: Why Just Fall in Love When You Can Fly?

Dating Like Airplanes: Why Just Fall in Love When You Can Fly?

by Caleb Breakey


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736955447
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 01/01/2014
Pages: 176
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Caleb Breakey is a former journalist and author of Called to Stay. Caleb is a frequent conference speaker with a sincere passion to lead, challenge, and inspire others in discussions about relationships, the church, and radically following Jesus. He lives in Washington State with his wife, Brittney.

Table of Contents

A Note from the Author 7

Part 1 Falling in Love

1 A Better Way Exists 11

2 To the Wounded and the Tenacious 19

3 Why You Should Fly 23

4 Flying Q&A 47

Part 2 What Your Other Needs Most

5 Where to Start 57

6 Who You Must Watch Out For 69

7 What Many Miss Out On 93

8 How to Know and Be Known 109

9 When You're Together 127

Part 3 Flying

10 Dos and Don'ts 153

11 Fly 167

Notes 169

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Dating Like Airplanes: Why Just Fall in Love When You Can Fly? 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Fly or Fall? Before I had read two dozen pages I realized this book would give me more than I expected it to. My husband and I will be celebrating ten years come May. I am thankful I don't have to navigate the dating scene anymore. However, our babies are growing up at the speed of life. How do we guide them? The only parenting training anyone truly gets is on-the-job training. But we can learn from those that have gone on before. We observe, ask questions, and read books. Lots and lots of books. I expected Dating Like Airplanes to give me more rules to consider as I teach my children how to go about looking for a mate. Refreshingly, I was completely wrong. Caleb Breakey does mention a few possible guidelines for dating, but mostly he speaks of intentions. Why date anyone? Caleb states more than once that any date should be a marriage possibility, but he says more than that. With tenderness he speaks of the heart we should have toward our "other." ("Other" is the name Caleb uses for a spouse or potential spouse. I like it.) As a teen I planned out a cartoon that would represent "falling in love." I could see myself peering over the edge of a cliff as curiosity draws me closer and closer to the edge until Whoops! Tumble! Crash! Slip! Boom! All the way to the bottom . . . Beaten and bruised I rise to my feet to face my true love. He has been through his own fall, but that is okay because we are in love so we can now join hands and walk off into the sunset of our happily ever after. How romantic! And how different from a healthy reality. Marriage is not about the number of hardships you can endure while remaining passionately in love. Marriage is two who become one who race the good race and fight the good fight for Christ. Together. "And it doesn't stop. Ever." Dating or courtship should work with that end in mind. It may be an oversimplification, but the JOY acrostic comes to mind. Jesus-Others-Yourself. Can you follow Jesus first? That is the foundation. Don't move on without it! Can you put the needs and wants of your other above your own wants and needs? If you cannot, especially if you cannot because you feel your other would take advantage of you, then perhaps this other is not the other for you. At least not yet. Caleb Breakey's book, Dating Like Airplanes, will guide you through the process of knowing whether or not you are ready to fly and finding a person you can fly with. Close your eyes and imagine flying for a moment. The clouds. The wind. The sunshine. Breath it in. Isn't that better than falling?
Theophilusfamily More than 1 year ago
  Dating like Airplanes.  Yep. You read it right.  You're probably looking at this book thinking "What a strange title. What is this?"  (Item of Note: my friend thought it said Dating the Appliance.)  This is a book about relationships. The flying kind. We all have some acquaintance with *falling* in love, but wouldn't you rather *fly* in love?  This book reminds us that dating doesn't have to mean falling hard for somebody, suppressing our real selves to impress them, and struggling to keep the relationship going.  Dating can be about flying together toward Jesus and a life that makes both of us more like Him, and urging each other to fly higher in all things beautiful and true.  You're right... the flying sounds much more difficult at first than falling, but don't you want to try it anyway?  The Flying Kind of Dating includes great conversations, working together on stuff bigger than the relationship, becoming best friends and involving old friends. It's mostly about setting your sights on God and then doing stuff together that will bless and benefit each other.  I love the fact that the wisdom and ideas in this book can be applied to so many relationships, not only dating. The section on "Soul-Scans" is all about the importance of progressively getting to know people, revealing our inner selves and gently investigating them.  The part about the vulnerability of repentance and forgiveness is one that I need to tattoo on my arm. If I hurt someone, I need to let myself feel the conviction. If someone comes to me and asks forgiveness, I need to honor the courage that it took and receive them with love.  The chapter on how differences can be hated, tolerated, or down-right appreciated is so TRUE. It gave me a very good shot of perspective for when my personality clashes with a family member's.  And another favorite feature of mine was "Ask Those Who Fly." These were half a dozen two or three pages sections of short interviews between couples, with their thoughts on different parts of the dating experience. I love some of their suggestions: read books about God together, eat meals with each other's family, pray over hard things in the past and pray for good things in the future. Be authentic with each other. Enter each other's world. Be honest when you disagree... either a beautiful balance will be reached or it's time to part ways.  Dating Like Airplanes has a lot of meat in it. It certainly isn't a book you read once. I put it down for a week and picked it back up and saw so much that I hadn't absorbed the first time through, it was like reading a different book. I can imagine this being an excellent book for a couple to study, as they decide whether to fall or fly.  Thank you Harvest House for my review copy.
CaraPutman More than 1 year ago
As the parent of one teenager and three more who will become teenagers, I'm always looking for tools to help as we coach our kids through dating/courting/finding a spouse. In Dating like Airplanes, Caleb Breakey issues an invitation to do dating differently. He honestly talks about how hard it can be to know how to do relationships the right way, in a God-honoring way. After walking through Scriptures, he challenges his readers to go into relationships with a purpose. Know why you're in it. What do you hope to gain or learn from it? The focus of Dating like Airplanes is to show people how they can have a relationship that focuses on living the Golden Rule toward others, of living a lifestyle of giving and purity. In real terms, he suggests how to create an environment in your relationship that supports purity. He also explains how to celebrate your differences and take steps to become the person your future spouse will need. Sandwiched in between the chapters are vignettes from many others about their relationships, both what they did well and what they would avoid in the future. This is a very approachable book. One that can serve as a big brother coming alongside with some helpful advice and perspective. 
ReadersFavorite More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by Kristie Ingerto for Readers' Favorite Dating like Airplanes: Why Just Fall in Love When You Can Fly? by Caleb Breakey is an excellent book for anyone who has struggled with having a meaningful relationship. It is also helpful for those who are currently in a relationship and want to strengthen it. This book is written in three main sections. The first section discusses falling in love, which is a common concept and one that occurs often; however falling in love can hurt and be painful. Caleb has shared his insights into this and the concept of flying in love instead of falling. The next section really focuses on the other person, that person whom you have chosen to have a relationship with, as it is important that the two individuals have some common ground and are aware of their differences and if they are harmful or not. Flying and the relationship soaring is the focus of the third section.  I really enjoyed reading Caleb Breakey’s book. Not only is this a great book to read for personal reflection, but it can also be a great resource and something to help you when a person comes to you seeking relationship advice. Breakey’s book is straightforward and easy to read as it is written in a conversational tone. Breakey shares his own experiences and stories and there are quotes and tidbits shared by others interspersed throughout the chapters. Breakey reinforces his thoughts with Biblical text and wisdom as well, making this a solid resource for anyone seeking a meaningful dating relationship or for anyone who counsels others or are often asked for advice.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I really enjoyed this book. Caleb did a fantastic job of revolutionizing how to think about dating. He gives incredibly enlightening thoughts and gets to the root purpose, as well as the root person in the relationship: Christ. At the conclusion of every chapter there are real life comments from real couples who have gone through and experienced the topic under discussion. Outstanding book on an often complicated and frustrating topic! Great read!
sherrijinga More than 1 year ago
Why Fall In Love When You Can Fly? That's what Caleb Breakey asks in his book Dating like Airplanes. I wish I had had something like this when I was a teen and young adult. I could have spared myself a ton of heart-grief. Dating like Airplanes talks about how we typically fall in love and suggests a much better way of doing it. Instead of jumping out of an airplane without a working parachute, you can fly in love safely, like you do when in an airplane safely belted into your seat. You've got an engine and propellers and all kinds of instruments that will direct you along your path. You're able to think with your head and not so much with your heart. This book goes way deeper than that, though. He talks about the real purpose of dating, and about setting boundaries (physical and emotional) and how they don't really work. In the last half of the book, Breakey digs deep into what makes a relationship work, what makes it marriage-worthy. He points out the things you should look for in a mate if you want the marriage to last a lifetime. There's so much meat in this book that I have found myself sharing about it with my own children and with the singles (dating or not) in my circle of influence. This book would make a great gift for anyone single, regardless of age, and especially if he's not already entangled in a relationship. "You can't be a good candidate for marriage without first having your relationship with Christ where it should be." Breakey puts the focus on the relationship with Christ first and I like that!
Lynn_Hare More than 1 year ago
Need hope trusting on the dating scene? Been frustrated with previous dating relationships? Making life-changing choices about the opposite sex when you world is in transition?  This book will be a valuable resource for you because it defines AUTHENTIC love.  Caleb Breakey explores up-and-down vs stable dating. He describes godly communication skills and what long-term commitment looks like. He even goes there - discussing what sex is all about. The book consistently focuses on honoring and worshiping God - body, soul, and spirit.  Caleb has a fresh, friendly voice of authenticity that directs us to Jesus Christ and His role in godly, integrous relationships. I gladly give Dating Like Airplanes 5 stars because of Caleb's easy-to-read, transparent stories and thought-provoking quotes from men and women who've experienced the principles in action.
MelissaF More than 1 year ago
I wish I knew then what I knew now. I wish I had been a Christian before I got married, I wish I had learned to fly a long time ago. This book is for the single people out there that are tired of falling and getting hurt, or insecurity and want to be secure in themselves, in their relationships but mostly in Jesus. Honestly I believe married people could get a lot out of this book as well. If you want to know how to have a healthy relationship you need to learn to fly. Basically it means showing Jesus to the one you love and helping them to show Jesus too. Caleb has packed this book full of his own experiences and the experiences of others. I think this book could revolutionize the way people do relationships if they truly lived this out. Even in our friendships. If our goal was to always bring out the best on another person wouldn't that change everything? Do you need this book? Do you know someone who does? I highly recommend grabbing a copy and then learn how to fly. A copy of this book was given to me by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Evangheline More than 1 year ago
Dating Like Airplanes is a better concept on dating. We all hear about 'falling in love'...and Caleb points out one thing I haven't really thought about when thinking of dating and that is when you get hurt. Dating Like Airplanes talks about a more intentional way of with eyes open not closed. I love it that this book has numerous quotations that go with the subject. It stresses that the ultimate way to have a fulfilling relationship with another person is to first have an awesome relationship with Christ. In the book he frequently uses examples from when Caleb and his wife Brittney were dating and in doing so makes us understand a bit better what it means to fly into love. I loved this book and would recommend it to anyone who is looking for more than just dating and breaking up, dating and breaking up, over and over.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Dating Like Airplanes is a book that encourages us to focus on who we are; before we leap blindly into a relationship. This book points out that knowing Christ as an intimate friend rather than just an escape route from hell, can help us to better understand others and cause us to contribute the things that are needed rather than merely wanted in a relationship. By encouraging us to draw closer to Christ, Caleb points out that we need to examine ourselves before we enter into a relationship. Once we are strong in Christ we can be strong in a relationship, we will have the backbone to point out future dangers to ourselves, and the significant other, and will be able to build motes that will protect our bodies, and emotions from crashing at the bottom of a ravine. Even if we are already in a pre-existing relationship, or already married, Caleb points out that it is never too late to pull away from sin and start afresh. This books helps to point one towards what is needed to make any relationship endure the test of time: Selflessness, Vulnerability, and a deep commitment to sacrificial love. While reminding us that relationships created on earth cannot compare to what awaits us in heaven. The book includes personal testimonies from those that have experienced the type of relationship outlined in the book. It is an encouragement to get feedback from real life people that have stood in the same place as oneself. I encourage you to read this book, and apply many of its aspects and ideas to your life. (Dating Like Airplanes does use several different versions of the Bible, I am strictly a KJV girl, if you are too, just be sure to pull our your copy and keep it by your side for referencing as you read Dating Like Airplanes.)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Caleb Breakey (former journalist and author of Called to Stay)  depicts a radically different way to approach dating. This book is not for those who want to date just for the fun of it, nor is this book a step by step guide on how to find your future spouse. This book is addressed to people who want to work hard at relationships that lead to successful marriage in a time where divorce is rampant. The irony is that the only way to have a successful relationship with your other, is that you must put your relationship with God first ,and after God you must put your other. This is the secret formula that Caleb uses to explain why falling in love is not working and how flying can change this. Caleb uses solid biblical theology and life application to revolutionizes your view on relationships. 
DLiesner More than 1 year ago
Get over yourself. Caleb Breakey is brutally honest and vulnerable in this “dating prequel to a long-term relationship” guide. A truth-journal of sorts, Breakey (with input of a dozen or so modern couples) reveal a realistic route to “giving what’s needed most, instead of taking what’s wanted now.” Building long-term relationships takes pursuing honesty, intentionality, vulnerability, and transparency. And, Breakey advises, it’s best if you start it all before you are ready. Start what? Instead of expending all your energy on searching for “the one” focus on being “the one.” And when you know your “other” is emotionally invested in you, don’t abuse that power by not returning the adoration you want, and continually expect forgiveness without consequence. Building an ‘earthly’ relationship founded on a ‘heavenly’ one may sound impossible, but practical and Biblical examples show it is not only possible, but God’s intentional plan for us. Beautifully balanced with real-life snippets from many couples, the material brings to life the difference between the modern-day norm of emotionally-driven relationships geared to satisfy self and “flying” through investing yourself beyond relationship in your other’s life — pursuing the whole person and their whole family—not just the emotional high that makes your heart beat faster. Having the privilege to observe the author and his wife from a distance at several conferences, and seeing their faith and the depth of their relationship in action, I can attest that they walk their talk. This book is the real deal. Consequently, I’ve eagerly read the advance reader’s copy (with no obligation to produce a positive review). However, so satisfactory is the material that I have already ordered copies for several young people who have been asking the very questions answered by Dating Like Airplanes. Try it. You know you too have been longing for an out-of-the-ordinary relationship!