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Discover how to successfully and efficiently calm an angry person or diffuse a volatile situation in ninety seconds or less with this proven and accessible peacekeeping method by self-described “lawyer turned peacemaker” Douglas E. Noll.
We live in an increasingly divided world and most of us have encountered our fair share of aggressive people and difficult confrontations. Fortunately, we now have the tools to become peacemakers and transform emotionally volatile situations and hurt feelings to calm, non-aggressive ones.
Tested on prison inmates, De-Escalate offers a new set of social listening and communication skills, based on the latest findings in neuroscience and meditation. Along with practical exercises and scenario-based examples, each chapter focuses on specific themes, such as dealing with emotionally charged teenagers and frustrated coworkers. Additionally, Noll shares practical tips on how to be civil in an uncivil society.
With De-Escalate, we can bring peace to all facets of life, cultivate healthier relationships, and participate in creating a more caring and compassionate future for us all.
|Publisher:||Atria Books/Beyond Words|
|Product dimensions:||5.50(w) x 8.37(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
Table of Contents
Foreword Brit Elders xiii
1 The Secret Revealed 1
We Are Emotional Beings 4
The Secret to De-Escalating 9
Three Essential Steps 16
2 Affect Labeling in Action 23
De-Escalating Upset Children 24
Becoming an Empathic Listener 30
The Dangers of Emotional Invalidation 36
3 After Restoring the Calm, Then What? 43
The Range of Problem-Solving Possibilities 45
Results-Based Coaching 48
Creating Accountable Agreements 52
4 Minimum Coercion, Maximum Listening 63
De-Escalating Unresponsive Teens 64
Fostering Peace Circles 80
5 The Art of Core Messaging 83
How to Core Message Effectively 84
De-Escalating Angry and Grieving Friends 88
Listening to Insults and Disrespect 93
6 Peacemaking in Relationships 99
De-Escalating Intimate Relationships 101
Listening and Problem-Solving with Your Partner 112
De-Escalating After Divorce 123
The Six Needs of Victims 127
7 Be an Affect Label Leader 135
De-Escalating at Work 136
The Nature of Leadership 156
8 The Power of Self-Awareness 159
Developing Emotional Intelligence 160
De-Escalating Yourself 166
The Transcendent State of Egolessness 168
9 A Master Skill for Teachers 173
De-Escalating in the Classroom 174
Listening to Students and Parents 177
10 How to Be Civil in an Uncivil Society 197
What Are Beliefs? 198
Listening to Polarized People 200
When Families Are Divided 209
Additional Resources 225
About the Author 227
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
DE-ESCALATE is a non-fiction, self-help book about How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less. The book is particularly aimed at women and parenting. The author demonstrates methods in calming yourself and the angry one, as he has worked on this issue for over 20 years. The magic works in a very unique way. The author believes that emotions are labeled, and if the speaker to these feelings listens to these emotions, then he or she can quickly calm the person down. The author demonstrates this method through many examples and scenarios using the same skills and different lifestyles. After reading this book, you are able to control any future confrontations, angry disputes and aggressive people you may meet along the way in your life. You can create a peaceful world around you and that subsequently creates a calmer life for yourself. Imagine breaking tension at your place? Calming down your angry husband? Better comforting your child? Who would not want that? These social listening and communication skills are spread chapter by chapter in this book and are written in a way that is easy to understand and to follow. To make it work for yourself, I believe the reader will have to make some changes in their own behavior as well as applying the techniques taught. Essentially one should be able to communicate better and prevent arguments in the future. I recommend this book to people that seek a better living and a quality lifestyle.