Eighth grade never smelled so bad
Rachel can't believe she has to give up her Saturdays to scrubbing other people's toilets. So. Gross. But she kinda, sorta stole $287.22 from her college fund that she's got to pay back ASAP or her mom will ground her for life. Which is even worse than working for her mother's new cleaning business. Maybe. After all, becoming a maid is definitely not going to help her already loserish reputation.
But Rachel picks up more than smelly socks on the job. As maid to some of the most popular kids in school, Rachel suddenly has all the dirt on the 8th grade in-crowd. Her formerly boring diary is now filled with juicy secrets. And when her crush offers to pay her to spy on his girlfriend, Rachel has to decide if she's willing to get her hands dirty...
"Holy fried onion rings! Fun from beginning to end." Wendy Mass, New York Times bestselling author of 11 Birthdays and The Candymakers
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"Rachel, what are you doing with that toilet brush?" Mom calls as she comes out of the house with a mountain of paper towels in her arms.
"Um, practicing?" I say, realizing I've been absently twirling the brush like a baton. I give it one more dramatic spin before chucking it into the back of our dented minivan. Really, I was distracted while calculating how much money I need to earn in the next month ($287.22) to keep from getting in huge trouble, but that is definitely not something I can admit to Mom.
"All right, are we ready for our first day?" she says as she slides the minivan door shut. She's grinning so widely that the skin by her ears is wrinkling.
I nod and try to smile back. I can't believe I actually volunteered to give up my Saturdays to inhale bleach, but my efforts will all be worth it in the end. Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed.
We pull out of the driveway and head toward one of the fancy housing developments across town. To stop my feet from nervously tapping in my sneakers, I focus on my baking plans for the weekend. My mission is to create the ultimate to-die-for brownie. If that doesn't get everyone's attention at the Spring Dance bake sale next month, nothing will.
"I'm so glad you changed your mind about working with me," Mom says, pushing her honey-colored bangs off her forehead. "It'll be nice to spend some time together again."
"Yeah, it'll be fun," I say, my voice high and squeaky. "I looove Windex!" I find myself doing what could be a cheerleading hand motion to show her just how excited I am.
Mom's eyebrows scrunch together, and I tell myself to calm down. Mom miraculously accepted that I'd suddenly changed my whole attitude about her new cleaning business in the span of two days. She cannot know the reason why.
"Just remember that we need to make a good impression today, so try to be friendly, all right?" she says, glancing over at me.
Something stabs at the pit of my stomach. "You mean, try to act normal."
Mom sighs. "Rachel, why do you have to be so down on yourself? You're going to be in high school next year. It's time to get some self-confidence." Mom has never had an awkward day in her life, so she thinks being freakishly shy is just something you can switch off like an infomercial.
"I do have confidence," I insist. At least, I do in my ability to make an amazing dessert. Dad always says my recipes are a little piece of heaven on a plate. I just hope heavenly is enough to get the most votes at the bake sale this year.
Thinking about Dad makes a familiar ache spread through my chest. Ever since he moved to Florida two months ago-right before Valentine's Day, no less-nothing has felt right. Even Mom, who usually tries to smile and plan her way through every crisis, has been acting totally weird for weeks. That's why I have to make my Get-My-Parents-Back-Together Plan work, even if it means scrubbing every toilet in town. Our family just doesn't make sense without Dad.
A few minutes later, Mom and I pull into a neighborhood of gigantic houses. All the lawns and bushes are blindingly green, even though it's only the end of April. For some reason, I imagine the neon grass tasting like kiwi. Would a kiwi brownie be too weird?
We stop in front of a stone monstrosity with two towers, one on each side of the house. I can almost imagine archers camped out in the towers, on the lookout for intruders. A tiny brook winds around the house and under a bridge at the end of the driveway. That's right: these people actually have a moat.
After I drag myself out of the car, Mom loads me up with some cleaning supplies. I glance down at the mop in my hands. "Mom?" I say, pointing to a label on the end of the handle with the word mop helpfully written across it. "Am I going to have to take away your label maker?"
I expect her to at least crack a smile the way she normally does when Dad pokes fun at her Type A personality, but she just grabs the rest of our things and locks the car. I guess now is not the time to bring up how crazy-face Mom has been getting since Dad left. At least she'll have other people's houses to psychotically organize from now on.
When we reach the carved wooden front door, I suddenly feel super self-conscious in my ratty jeans and faded sweatshirt.
"Holy fish tacos, Mom. How do you know these people again?"
"My boss is friends with Mr. Riley. They play golf together."
Wait, Riley? I spot a gold plate by the door with The Riley Residence carefully etched across it. My stomach goes cold.
"Do the Rileys have a daughter?" I whisper.
Mom's face lights up. "That's right! I forgot Briana was in your grade."
Oh. My. Goldfish. Briana Riley. I scanned Mom's list of cleaning clients before we left the house. How did I not notice Enemy #1's name on it? I have to get out of here. If Briana sees me like this, it'll be even worse than the Fake Boyfriend Troy fiasco. That whole mess gave Briana enough ammo to use against me for months.
But before I can move, the door swings open and a guy about my age smiles back at us.
"Hi there!" Mom says in the chipper voice she uses to answer phones at the law office where she works. "I'm Amanda Lee, and this is my daughter, Rachel. We're here to make your house spotless!" She lets out a little laugh that sounds like a hysterical chipmunk.
I expect the guy to at least raise an eyebrow at the idea of Mom and me being related, since we look nothing alike, but he just says, "I'm Evan Riley. Come on in."
"Is your mother here?" Mom asks as she files into the foyer. I scurry after her, keeping my eyes down. I just have to get in and out of here without making a fool of myself.
"I'm the only one home," says Evan. "But I think she left a list in the kitchen."
"Great! We'll start there," Mom chirps.
Holy fried onion rings. I can't believe I'm in Briana Riley's house! And this has to be her twin brother. I've heard he goes to a private school for geniuses. So far, he seems a million times nicer than his sister. No one's ever mentioned how cute he is.
The minute the thought goes through my head, my face ignites. Why can't I even think a guy is good-looking without getting embarrassed about it? Of course, Evan isn't as cute as Steve Mueller. No one is. Steve Mueller is the hottest guy in the eighth grade, probably in our whole town. Unfortunately, as of a couple months ago, he's also Briana Riley's boyfriend.
"Rachel, come on," Mom calls, already down the hall.
I realize I'm still standing in the foyer, staring at Evan with my mouth open and practically drooling on myself.
He looks back at me with an uncertain smile. I can't help noticing that his eyes are the same shade of green as his Celtics jersey. "Are you okay?" he asks.
I try to nod and move forward at the same time, but that just makes me lose my balance. I stumble forward and-
The mop and broom fly out of my hands and land on the floor, followed by several bouncing rolls of paper towels.
"Booger crap!" I cry, stooping to gather everything up. Wait, did I just say that out loud?
"Here, let me help," says Evan. As he kneels beside me, I catch the scents of peppermint and laundry detergent. "Did you just say booger crap?" he adds.
I nod, mortified. Why do Dad's goofy swears always have to pop out of my mouth at the worst times?
But Evan laughs as he gets to his feet, his arms full of paper towels. "That's funny. I think I might have to use that sometime."
I try to say "okay," but for some reason it comes out in slow motion. "Ohhhhkaaay." This is even worse than the one time I tried to talk to Steve Mueller!
Evan just laughs again, in a way that makes me think he isn't laughing at me. He grabs one of the rolls of paper towels and balances it on top of his head as he walks alongside me. I can't help smiling.
When we get to the Rileys' kitchen, I almost drop everything all over again. Every surface gleams like it's covered in nonstick cooking spray. If we had this kind of kitchen at home, I'd be able to bake all the time without Mom complaining that I'm taking up too much space. I mean, they actually have three ovens!
"Thank you, Evan," says Mom, rushing to take the cleaning supplies from him. "We don't want to be in your way, so just pretend we're not here."
He shrugs. "I'll be in my room if you need anything. Don't worry about cleaning in there today." Then he glances at me and flashes a crooked grin. "See you later, Booger Crap."
Great. Perfect. Just the kind of nickname you want a guy calling you.
Ten minutes on the job, and I've already made a total fool out of myself. At this rate I won't even survive until lunch.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Rachel is a young girl trying to deal with the destruction of the world as she knows it. Her parents split up, she's desperate for money, and now she's started cleaning houses. It wouldn't be so bad if the houses she cleaned didn't belong to the kids she goes to school with. I feel like Rachel's character is very accurate for a girl that is going through all the life changes that she experiences. Like most teens, she is pretty self-centered and mostly concerned with how all these changes affect her own life. Only later does she stop to think about the effects on others. She is an interesting character that many girls will be able to relate to. Her super shy personality is quirky, lovable, and believable. I really liked the idea of her keeping a dirt diary, and I wanted more of the story to center around that. I wanted her to be a bit more devious and put some of the information she collected to use. The snowballing lie story has been done a thousand times before, and it is hard to put a new spin on it. I didn't particularly like that part of the book, mostly because I've seen it so many times already. The best friend that never lies was another cliche that I've seen too much of. However, the book was still a lot of fun to read. Tweens and younger teens especially will enjoy this book. Content: Clean The Cover: I love the cover. It is super cute and promises a light, yet kind of serious story. The title font is really fun!
This is my new favorite Anna Staniszewski book! Rachel's parents are separated, but she's certain she can get them back together if she could just get to Florida to talk to her dad in person. But her mom checks the balance in her college fund every month, so she only has a month to replace the $287.22 she "borrowed" from her account for a plane ticket. Between the money she makes each Saturday as an employee of her mother's new cleaning business, scrubbing the toilets of the most popular kids in the eighth grade, and the money she hopes to win in the school bake sale competition, Rachel's sure she can pay it back before mom notices. But her fabulous desserts keep flopping, and the money she earns cleaning houses isn't adding up fast enough. So when her crush offers to pay her to spy on his girlfriend, Rachel's seriously tempted to get her hands dirty. Once again, Staniszewski has created realistic characters that practically leap off the page. I loved Rachel and wanted to step inside the pages to be her friend. Her dessert creations had my mouth watering (I really want some of those recipes!), and my heart ached for Rachel, as she struggled to decide how far she was willing to go to fix her family.
At its core, The Dirt Diary isn’t so much about a girl collecting sensational dirt on her fellow students, but more a story about her coming to terms with her parents’ separation and finding herself. From the book summary I was expecting a novel filled with juicy secrets, scandalous discoveries, and humiliating revelations that would make it an intriguing story, but at the end of the day – even though it was a good read – it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it promised to be. Nonetheless, I do feel that this is a terrific story for preteen readers as it deals with so many issues younger readers will be able to relate to. None of the characters are noteworthy, but I have to commend the antagonist in this story, Briana, for the creative ways in which she terrorized Rachel, although her shockingly cruel inventiveness is no laughing matter. The storyline is what redeems this book as it’s all about friendship, taking responsibility, being honest, and learning when to draw the line. It tugged at my heartstrings how Rachel, an extremely shy girl, tried to get her parents back together. Growing up as a child of divorced parents, I understood her need to want her parents to save their marriage. Whether she’s successful or not, you’ll just have to find out for yourself. This is a short read and one I think will be enjoyed by kids who find themselves in a similar social situation as Rachel. She’s being tormented by one of the popular girls at school, she only has one friend, and her parents are in the process of splitting up – so basically, her life sucks. And if that’s not bad enough, she suffers one embarrassment after the other. One of the things Rachel learns is that every bully has a weakness, and because I feel strongly about children being bullied at school, I appreciate the positive and enlightening message The Dirt Diary offers its readers about accepting the things you cannot change, and changing the things over which you have control. Final verdict: well worth the read!
A yummy read with surprising moments, this humorous tale is sure to be a hit. Rachel has a plan--she borrows almost $300 from her college savings account and is on a mission. Her mission seems simple--she wants to get her parents back together. The money is being used to go to Florida where her father has moved. To earn the money back, she must win the baking contest while she also helps her mother in her new business cleaning houses. Little does she realize she will be helping clean the houses of her fellow classmates. During this time she keeps a diary--her dirt diary--of all her secret thoughts and feelings. Ms. Staniszweski has captured this age perfectly--the awkwardness, the feelings of not fitting and also the interaction between both peers and grownups. Rachel is reluctant for her mom to move on from her dad and I could feel and relate to her pain through her interactions with Mr. Hammond. Laugh out loud moments fill this delightful book and it will leave readers wanting to read more books by Ms. Staniszweski. Be sure to have on hand her My Unfairy Tale Life series too.
Ths book is really good. Ut had me at the edge of my seat! When yiu think everything is giing to fail everything works out!<3
I REALLY want to read the book now after reading all the reviews! Also, if you like adventureous/school problems/family matters, you would like to read all the reviews and say the same thing!!! Although I haven't read the book, I would recomend it to all those people that are like me. Trust me, if you are like me and read all the reviews, you would call this book interesting before you read it.
I really recomend you read it!!!
I haven't read it yet but my friend is reading it and she says its the best book she has read in years:)
What does it mean dirty diary.
OH MY GOSH! This book is like so amazing!!!! I have the others in the series, but I haven't read prank list yet. I hope it's as good as this one and Gossip File, the others in the series. This author has some real talent in delivering funniness, and fun! Great for girls 9-14
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So good#great book
The sample is Great
F u people