Don'T Kill The Love

Don'T Kill The Love

by Violeta Messina


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452535708
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 01/12/2012
Pages: 556
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 1.24(d)

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Don't Kill The Love



Copyright © 2012 Violeta Messina
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-3570-8

Chapter One

Beyond the Time ...

THE DISCUSSION IN THE OBSERVATION ROOM was prolonged. The situation on Earth was requiring immediate action. Mankind has forgotten their purpose. A group of individuals with whom we'll be working and from whom much was expected has drifted far from the course and has given into the traps of illusion. Comparing by the measures of eternity, this was just a short period of time. The urgent signals were being sent from earth and that did not allow the assignment to be delayed any longer. Humanity was praying for help. One after another, groups of White Brotherhood were being sent to earth. Seraya could not stand still from anticipation. She wanted to join the other messengers as soon as possible. She reviewed all material and understood the difficulty of the assignment. All the possible variations and precautions for staying clear from giving in into the illusion were examined. Some of the fellow souls were encouraging her; others tried to suggest waiting for better conditions to begin her work. The vibrations were rising. This was a sign that everything will go successfully. The plan just might work out.

The words of the Master echoed.

—Everything will be all right. I will be with you. Just remember that you are never alone. We are with you. This way, it won't be so hard. I am blessing you.

Vivid light and intense energy of love that was shining from the master, gave Seraya a feeling of bliss. Her energy field was expanding, became denser, and sparked with vibrant colors. She felt love, a type of love that she never would be able to forget. In case she would give into the illusion, this experienced feeling would be recalled by longing and she would remember. The mission will take place on more than one level and dimension.

—It's time Seraya!

Without any further words, she took in a last full breath of the love nectar and within an instant; Seraya appeared in the transitional space.

A dark tunnel, with an unexpected force like a vacuum, took her into the vortex.

—Just don't forget!—Words were echoing for Seraya.

She quickly was accelerating away from the light source.

"I will help you"." Hey, don't forget me"." Good luck!"—Seraya heard the voices of the other messengers coming from the source of the light. The vibrations were becoming heavier with every moment. In the distance the blue planet was pulsating. She was coming closer to her destination point. It was dark there, awfully dark. Her memory was beginning to fade; the vision of the mission was coming apart. Only fragments remained. The images were flying by at the speed of light. Dark shades and low, heavy vibrations scared her. She felt fear. Strange, foreign thoughts attacked her energy field. Glancing back, she still saw the colorful lights coming from the source. The words sounded:

"The rainbow will remind you ... Don't forget I am with you ... everywhere and all the time ..." Impact ... A cry:

"No, I don't want it! Return me back! Return me home ..."

The vortex took her in at an incredible speed. To call off the mission was already too late.

The Traps of Illusion

—OH LORD, WHAT IS THIS?—touching between her legs a fallen out leg of her fetus Anna exclaimed.—this I have never seen before. Three children I have brought into this world the way it's supposed to be, but this is something else.

—Won't you look after my kids?—Anna asked her neighbor.—It's time to give birth. The child might be dead, since this is so abnormal. I have to rush to the hospital. When the husband returns from work, please notify him that I am in the hospital and tell him to care for the kids.

—The sooner this would be over. I am already so exhausted from all the problems.—cried Anna as she was riding in the bus, holding on to the fetus' leg. Somehow she reached the hospital. The pain did not allow her to think much.

The doctor and the nurses worked for many hours to come. They tried to push the leg back in, to pull out the other one. The delivery was the most painful and difficult from all the four. The whole process took a long period of time. Finally, a relief came ...

—A girl; very beautiful and fair girl. Thank goodness that she is alive. The umbilical cord was twice twisted around the baby's neck. It's good that we saved her.—somewhere from far away echoed the voice of a nurse. Exhausted from suffering, the mother sadly glanced at the newborn.

—A girl ... My husband so much wanted to have a son ... Oh, you poor thing. Another one came for hardship and torment.—she wanted to get her rest, to sleep. Anna knew that additional child is another problem in the family. And those problems, problems ... they are already overwhelming her.

While lying in the hospital ward, her thoughts began wandering. She began to remember her life. Anna was waiting for the nurse to bring the baby in for nursing. The little lump, with her tinny lips, gently sucked into her breast. She was feeding on her mother's milk, as her mother was deeply lost somewhere else, in her past. Anna was recalling her oldest daughter's birthday nine months ago and how much fun it was. It was a cold January day, but the mood was good, because the laughter and company of close friends have drowned all the troubles out and her husband, that evening was very romantic, warm and gentle.

—Why did I have to give in to the moment of weakness?—Anna was asking herself.—There would be no child.

She was washing the dishes. The festivities were over. All the three children were in bed asleep by now. Joe so gently leaned next to her. It seemed that love and passion were burning in his eyes. Her cheeks, already being warm from the wine, blushed even more. That moment she forgot everything. She felt nice. The body was warm; she wanted to disappear in it, to submerge into the endless ocean on bliss and swim, swim in it.

—You are so beautiful. It seems that I love you more than ever before.—Joe cuddled next to his wife. They both fell asleep.

The morning after was difficult.

—God, why did I need to give in to the embraces, to that intimacy? Another child can be born again. Worries, there are already so many of them. It's already so difficult to live. Too many unfulfilled hopes and dreams. Three kids asking for food, besides, we are building a house. Joe is such an unpractical person, willing to give up anything for anyone else. There is a food shortage, abortions are forbidden. Oh, God! How can I get rid of the child, if I did get pregnant?

Weeks passed as worries continued to grow. Chaos in the head, pain in the heart, and worries, worries, worries. While eating dinner one day, she felt nauseous. Next day, the exact same thing occurred.

—Pregnant! Oh, God, I am pregnant. What to do now? I have to get rid of this child somehow. How?

She recalled carrying heavy bags of cement and bricks at a building site and taking hot baths as well. Nothing seemed to help. The belly was growing bigger and bigger. She was ashamed. She was afraid of the criticism from others, of her husbands' lack of concern and misunderstanding. Anna needed her mother's support now. Yet, her mother was no longer there. She had died, when Anna was barely 5 years old.

Thoughts continued to stir in her head.

—Well, I guess I have to accept the fact that another mouth will be added to the family.

As on purpose, when her belly got to be noticeably big, Anna heard a spiteful comment coming from an arrogant, well-dressed woman:

—Like a hen ... Already had three still needs another one.

Anna was ashamed of being pregnant. She felt unclean and miserable. Her body curves, of which she used to be so proud of, were taken away from her. During pregnancy, she used to gain up to 55 lbs. Perhaps that was a payback for the shame that she felt while being pregnant. She was ashamed of herself and began hating her own body.

She cursed herself and all the other women for their weakness in giving into the passion and gentle touch of the man. Nobody lovingly pat her or encouraged her as a child. She was just a babysitter for her own younger brothers and sisters, whom she got from her father's new wife, her stepmother. The stepmother was a nice and goodhearted woman, yet her own children were much dearer to her, than her husband's previous wife.

Anna's baby, a newly born human in the earth, pleasantly mumbled while sucking on her breast. And she further went back to her thoughts. She pondered over her fate and how difficult it was for her. She recalled her sister, who was killed during a bombing in Germany during the WWII. Anna even cut off her sister's long beautiful braids, just to stop her from going to Germany to be with her love—A German army officer. The stepmother, however, encouraged her to go. Julia died in Hamburg during a bombing, and to Anna up to this day it seemed that the stepmother just wanted to get rid of additional mouth in the family.

Other memories came. She recalled when the stepmother took away the only thing that Anna's real mother had left for her a medallion with rubies, and gave it to her own daughter. It was difficult for Anna to put up with this, yet she was too afraid to ask her stepmother, where her mother's relic went. She was walking all this time with bitterness in her heart. Anna recalled her dreams about a bright and joyous future, about love's dreams. But everything changed: the war, Soviet occupation and her knee injury just when she and her husband had decided to flee toward the west. Joe was a very well educated, interesting, intelligent man. However, he was 14 years older than her, but that was all right. It was interesting to live with him. In the beginning, that is. When their first born, a daughter was born, she recalled how furious Joe was. He destroyed all the religious images and crosses in the house. He desired to have a son, and it was a daughter.

Anna recalled when their son was born.

—Alexander will be his name.—Joe said.—He will attack the gates of Moscow, as our old mighty dukes did.

Like out of his mind, he grabbed all the blankets from the house and came to pick them up from the hospital. There was practically no space left in the taxi.

Anna smiled. It was nice for her to remember the pleasant moments in life. The nursing newborn daughter, with her toothless mouth also began smiling.

—Strange ... —Anna thought to herself.—it's as if she's reading my mind.

She further went back into her world of reflection. Sadness once more was tainting her mood.

—Interesting, what will Joe say when he finds out that another girl is born? He is not very stable. Weak when it comes to women. Where there's a skirt, there he goes. Lots of trouble Anna had to experience because of his weakness. She recalled that humiliation that she and her first daughter had to undergo, when she had to be stabbed with needles in order to get rid of that STD.

The newborn began crying. The train of thought ended. Gently brushing on the baby's head, she placed another breast near the baby's mouth and went back to thinking:

—Oh those women! Why were they created? Just for man's pleasure. Whores! Weak, men do what they please with them. What to expect, Eve was the first one and we, we are all alike. I hate women! And here is another girl. Oh, what misery! How much pain and suffering you will have to experience on this earth.

The newborn again ceased to nurse. She began crying. A nurse came into the ward and took away the crying child to the nursery.

Anna was resting. Her body was resting, that is, because her thoughts continued to wander around, jumping from one memory to the next. From the children to her parents, from the parents to her husband, from husband to God—the ultimate judge.

—So much, oh so much of deceit and injustice there is in this world.—Anna thought to herself: "A human was born to suffer, and a bird to fly ..."

ANNA DIDN'T REALIZE THEN, that her moment of surrendering to weakness was necessary in order for a new human to come into this world. She also didn't know that the atmosphere had to be nice and sentimental; in order for a human to be born a lot of energy is required. Love energy. And the more love energy that is there the purer the soul will be born. And when a new star in heaven is created, know that a grand soul has come to earth.

Anna had denied her true self, denied herself as a woman. She was angry at herself, angry at God, at men and at her destiny. She betrayed herself and didn't realize that the tiny human being, still being in an embryonic state was undergoing the same exact hell as she was. If the mother is peaceful, the child will be calm too. If miserable, then the child will feel miserable, if she's suffering, the child also suffers while in the womb. Sadness and fear didn't leave the mother during the whole pregnancy. She didn't grasp what kind of damaging patterns were planted in the infant's conscience. She didn't comprehend that the wounds in the baby's heart will remain there for a long time. She didn't know that because of these wounds, the child didn't want to be born, that is why the umbilical cord was twisted more than once around the neck. Didn't know, that from the guilt and fear of being born, the fetus turned around, strived to go back, and when came the time for mother earth to push the child into the light, the child's leg instead of head came out. The mother didn't know of what kind of guilt and shame in the little heart, the little girl was born with ...

If Anna would have known what would be awaiting her daughter as a result, she would have controlled her thoughts and wouldn't have allowed her emotions to taint the child's future and subconscious, and would be hoping to be able to turn back the time.

"I am unworthy, I am not desired and I am not waited for". This strong matrix was strongly and deeply instilled in the child's subconscious mind and it closed the doors for a harmonious life for a long time. The doors were wide open for growth of disharmony. However, this also allowed a new growth for knowledge: the knowledge of fear and evil, knowledge of good and truth, knowledge of fairness and injustice. The doors opened up to learn the truth about this world.

Anna didn't get to experience the joy of new birth or of motherhood. She didn't have the time to enjoy the child. House construction, the other little kids, husband was busy with his prosecutor position at work and drinking bouts with his friends.

The little kids enjoyed having a new sister.

—She's so cute! We want to pick out a name for her, the most beautiful one of all,—said almost 9 years old Luisa and Alexander, who will be turning 7 soon. They decided to find the most beautiful girl in their school and give their little sister that name.

—She will be called Joana. We found the most beautiful girl in the school.

The parents approved. That's how, between billions of other people on this planet, on the 9th day of October 1953, at five o'clock and thirty minutes P.M., the main character of this book began her life.

NOW TURNING BACK THE TIME, I can imagine what you had to go through, Mom. If you had known the TRUTH, the truth about WHO You Are, you would have been freer from your pain. If you had found God inside you, if you would have trusted Him instead of fearing Him, your life would have turned out completely different. Perhaps then, I could even today be brushing your gray hair, fearlessly looking into your eyes with love, holding your hand, and telling you how dearly and strongly I love you. And ... forgive you. I forgive you for not knowing what you were doing with yourself and with others ... By not loving yourself, you betrayed your inner child, that little 3-year-old girl which we all carry with us always. And me, particularly me, had to experience exactly the same yet even more painful agony. Because ... that was already my own experience, felt by my own naked skin. The lost TRUTH in you was buried. "Love for God begins with loving yourself." By denying your true self, you denied God; you denied life and love, exactly those things that make up life and truth themselves.

I do not wish to analyze your life any further in this book. You were a closed up person who never showed what they were feeling inside. The main thing here is that I found out the source, the reason of your misfortunes and problems.


Excerpted from Don't Kill The Love by VIOLETA MESSINA Copyright © 2012 by Violeta Messina. Excerpted by permission of BALBOA PRESS. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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