Written by the award-winning author of Draw On Your Emotions, this book is designed for professionals to help people explore, communicate and learn more about themselves in light of their relationships. Using images as a starting point, this bestselling resource provides a highly creative and thought-provoking arena for people to reflect on their relationships so that they can think, feel and act in more fulfilling and potent ways.
Designed to be used by therapists and educators working with children, teenagers and adults, it explores positive and negative relationship experiences, empowering people to gain greater insight and break destructive relationship patterns. Themes include: life-changing relationships; destructive relationships; good connections; failed connections; parent-child relationships, families and couples.
This revised and updated second edition contains a wealth of photocopiable material, including exercises and drawings, step-by-step guidance on using the exercises with clients, key rules and guidelines for helping people to speak about feelings. It also contains psychological insights backed up by the latest brain science, and beautiful new illustrations designed to facilitate deeper therapeutic conversations.
This revised and updated second edition also contains a new section on how to use the superbly emotive The Relationships Cards (ISBN 9781138071018) to facilitate deeper therapeutic conversations.
About the Author
Dr Margot Sunderland is Director of Education and Training at The Centre for Child Mental Health London, Senior Associate of the Royal College of Medicine and Child Psychotherapist with over thirty years’ experience of working with children and families. Dr Sunderland is the author of over twenty books in child mental health, which collectively have been translated into eighteen languages and published in twenty-four countries. Her books, which form the Helping Children with Feelings series are used as key therapeutic tools by child professionals all over the UK and abroad.
Nicky Armstrong holds an MA from the Slade School of Fine Art and a BA Hons in Theatre Design from the University of Central England. She is the principal artist at The London Art House and has illustrated over 20 books, which have been published in many countries. Nicky has also achieved major commissions nationally and internationally in mural work and fine art.
Table of Contents
• How to use this book
• Why use drawings and images to speak about feelings?
• How to work safely
• Key rules and guidelines in helping someone to speak about feelings
• About sandplay and how to use it
CHAPTER ONE: YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
• You, your relationships, your life
• Encouragers and discouragers in my life (past and present)
• People in your life, as gardens
• The cocktail party
• Your relationships as walls, bridges, comfortable sofas & take off
• Museum of Too Alone
• Childhood memories: People as places
• Relationship riches
CHAPTER TWO: DEAD, DEPRIVING, DRAINING, DISAPPOINTING RELATIONSHIPS
• My Relationship: Take off or stuck on the runway?
• To leave or to stay?
• The ‘nothing much happening’ times
• A relationship that’s holding me back
• People who energise. People who drain
• Too many takers and not enough givers
• Am I expecting too much from her/ him?
• Disappointing relationship or futile quest for perfect mate?
CHAPTER THREE: LIFE-CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS
• People you’ve been flying with
• Flying together as a group
• Collecting moments, not things
• Oh how we laugh!
• Knights (posing as people)
CHAPTER FOUR: LOVE HURTS
• Museum of hurt
• When I can’t reach you
• Life after losing a person or their love
• The end of a relationship. What now?
• Loving someone who isn’t good at loving
• Do I matter to you?
• No one listens/Too unhelped
• Rejected/ not wanted/ uninvited/ redundant
• On the outside of the group
CHAPTER FIVE: DAMAGING AND DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
• Power over/ Power under/ Power with
• Toxic shame
• Managing conflict badly
• Emotional baggage
• Hidden resentments
• So many difficult/ annoying people in my life
• Anger fuelled by pain from the past
CHAPTER SIX: RELATIONSHIPS AND FEAR
• Fear of intimacy
• Withdrawal/ Avoidance/ Leaving
• Fear of closeness and fear of distance
• Fear of being in groups
• Fear of being myself in case I am too much
• Without a voice
CHAPTER SEVEN: TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES
• The ‘When you…I feel’ exercise
• The ‘unfinished sentence’ exercise
• The Like/ Don’t Like it’ exercise
• The empathy game
• Our best and worst times
• Theories of motivation
• Paper conversations
• The art of relationship