Drop Dead Gorgeous

Drop Dead Gorgeous

by Donald Allen Kirch


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"Would you like to hear a story?"

The man couldn't help himself. His captor was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her powerful eyes held his attention and made him forget that she had him confined in a basement; his hands and feet bound with duct tape. His heart raced as he meekly nodded his head 'yes' to the question.

After getting past the terror and discomfort, he reasoned that there was nothing to worry about. He would be missed. He had loved ones who would call the police. All he had to do was wait. Letting this woman tell him a story was as good a stall as any.

The mysterious woman weaved a tale of betrayed love and unwanted, unnatural experiments placed upon her. Of a loving wife, working on a top secret government program. Of a husband searching for love in all the wrong places. The prisoner couldn't believe what he was being told. A descent into insanity, fueled by a jealous rage, ended with using the tools of science for torture and revenge.

With every blink of her lovely eyes, licking of her full lips, and heaving of her perfect breasts, the captor entertained a story most bizarre. Of a woman bent on teaching her cheating husband a lesson.

The prisoner wondered...."Am I next?"


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781523905355
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Publication date: 02/05/2016
Pages: 166
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.38(d)

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Drop Dead Gorgeous 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
JBronder More than 1 year ago
Ray wakes to find himself duct taped and in a basement. Then the perfect woman comes downstairs. Her name is Eve and she has a story to tell. The story is about Steve. Steve is in satellite dish sales when Annabelle starts coming into the store to keep asking him about satellites when she is really looking for a companion. What follows is a whirl wind romance and a beautiful wedding. Annabelle is a scientist and has discovered nano tech that can change the body. Everything from healing cancer cells to making plastic surgery a thing of the past. When she finds that Steve has cheated on her she gets her own revenge on both him and the girl he was with. But as Eve tells this story to Ray, he comes to love her and doesn’t really notice the rotting corpses stacked in the basement with them. This book reminds me of the classic B scifi movies mixed with bad 70’s porn. A loser of a guy meets the quick girl who is super smart and good in bed. He marries her but when she gets wrapped up in her invention he goes looking elsewhere for sex. Of course he is going to get caught but the end results were not what he expected. I loved the book. It has that classic horror feel to it, a great case of revenge with some insanity mixed in, and lots of sex. I don’t think this is a book for everyone. But if you have one of those senses of humor I think this would be a good read. I received a complimentary copy of this book. I voluntarily chose to read and post an honest review.
TheHungryMonster More than 1 year ago
When Ray wakes up beaten, bloodied, and bound with duct tape in the bottom of a basement, he immediately tries to figure out how he got there and how he can escape. But his captor, the most beautiful woman that he’s ever seen, is hell bent on keeping him in captivity with her. No matter what he tries, he can’t seem to escape her or her captivating story of a husband’s ultimate betrayal and a wife’s twisted revenge that lead Ray’s captor to his town. As details of the woman’s past are revealed, Ray tries to hold onto the hope that he won’t be the next victim. A story of revenge and insanity, Drop Dead Gorgeous, a novel by Donald Allen Kirch, taps into the craze of scientific experiments, the nature of man, and what actually makes a person a person. A dark imagining and entertaining journey, readers should be able to fly through the quick-witted and often hilarious phrases created by the author. From the very beginning of the story, Kirch captivates the reader through his description of the setting. The vivid telling of the location of the main male character creates a dark, terrifying, and intriguing straight away. The story appears to be told in small arcs, each more captivating than the first. There is never a lack of action in the story as the author keeps every part of the story moving along without focusing too long on any one section of the story. Just as the reader becomes interested in one part of the story, the author moves quickly into another section. This keeps the reader on his or her toes as the outcome of the story is eagerly awaited. This style of writing also comes across as being very efficient. The reader is never given more information that absolutely needed in each section of the story. The characters largely aid in the quickness of the story. But their quick and lively narration may be their biggest redeeming quality. Whether or not the author means for the two main characters to be sympathetic is lost. Though strong characters, neither of them is likeable. While Eve’s backstory tries to give a sort of sympathy to her character, her introduction and elements of her backstory demolish any chance of actual redemption of the character. The character of Ray also has no redeeming qualities. It’s difficult to want either of the characters to end up successful in the story. Although there are a few characters in the story, only one character, the female scientist, is actually sympathetic. But even then, she’s pushed into the unsympathetic category a couple of times during her section of the narrative, as if the goal of the characters is to prove that no person is actually good. While some descriptions and characterizations delve into an exceedingly awkward and confusing style of writing, there is no doubt that the author excels in creating a believable, albeit disturbing, reality.
ReadersFavorite More than 1 year ago
Reviewed by Jack Magnus for Readers' Favorite Drop Dead Gorgeous is a horror novel written by Donald Allen Kirch. Ray Hoie thought his weekly visit to the local strip club was mostly harmless. The bacon quesadillas were astronomically good there, and much more of a draw for him than actually watching the strippers perform on the stage. Somehow, though, this evening's pleasure jaunt went seriously awry. He had awoken, bloody, bound, and in quite a bit of pain, in what seemed to be a dark and foul-smelling cellar. When the shadowy figure who seemed to be regarding him finally drew close enough to be seen, Ray was astonished to see his very hot captor, complete with tight-fitting red dress and legs that demanded adoration. Her name was Eve, and Ray was not the first man she had entertained recently. She chuckled a bit as she pointed out to him the pile of rotting corpses almost out of view in a dark corner. Still, somehow, just being near her made Ray's senses tingle, and he felt sure that someone, particularly Tammy, his girlfriend, would have the police find him before he became her next victim. But who was Eve, and how did a hot babe like her get to be so insane? Eve had her own story to tell, and it was a strange one indeed. Donald Allen Kirch's grotesquely humorous horror novel, Drop Dead Gorgeous, instantly grabbed my attention with its lurid, 1950s-style pulp fiction cover. You'd have to be more out of it than those stacked bodies in the basement corner not to at least be intrigued by this authentically spooky novel that somehow manages to channel the noir mystery, horror, high-tech science fiction and romance genres into a spellbinding, fast-paced and unforgettable tale of betrayal and revenge. Kirch deftly switches the reader's attention back and forth from the plight of the hapless Ray to the story of Steve Kane, a salesman extraordinaire who ran afoul of a mad genius who did not take being slighted very lightly. Imagine Dr. Frankenstein with nano-robotic technology and a chip on his shoulder, throw in a good helping of Robert Bloch's uncanny juxtapositioning of horror and mystery, and you get a hint of the forbidden delights in store when you open this quite remarkable horror novel and begin to read. I loved every minute spent reading Drop Dead Gorgeous. It more than fulfilled any expectations raised by that cover, and it's most highly recommended.