Dung In My Foxhole

Dung In My Foxhole

by Gordon L Ewell
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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781426970580
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
Publication date: 05/31/2011
Pages: 152
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.33(d)

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Dung In My Foxhole

A Soldier's Account of the Iraq War, and his Post War Struggles with Injury and PTSD thru Poetry
By Gordon L EweLL

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2011 Gordon L EweLL
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4269-7058-0

Chapter One

May 01st, 2011 [Bin Laden]

Tonight the news story broke
On television our President spoke
America heard before going to bed
It was confirmed that Osama Bin Laden was dead

The man behind the attack on American soil
That made us all mad and made our blood boil
The man who's plan caused thousands to die
When hijacked planes became missiles in our skies
And smashed into the Twin Towers before our eyes

We rallied together as a nation and swore revenge
For loved ones lost both family and friends
We declared war and no matter the cost
Swore we would find Bin Laden and his terrorists
Even if we had to look under every single rock
And vowed to turn terrorist training compounds
Into giant parking lots

There would be no safe haven upon the globe
For anyone who wore the cloak of a terrorist robe

Bin Laden was pure evil no doubt
His dirty deeds would cause a holy man to shout
The whole world wanted an "Eye for an Eye"
And looked to America to carry that mission out
It took ten years for justice, but we got our "Eye"

We buried his body out to sea
So any loyal supporters had no grave to rally around
On the date of his death's anniversary
That news was very gratifying to me

Yes I am happy that Bin Laden died
For him I hope not a single soul cried
As for me my heart wept and I shed some tears
For fellow Soldiers who gave their lives
While fighting terrorists for these last ten years

For Wounded Warriors like me
His death did not take away our injuries
I am still deaf and missing my eye
And have a Traumatic Brain Injury, my TBI
Soldiers so severely wounded in this long fight

We cut the head off the monster no doubt
But we can't be deceived there are still monsters out
They will always be trying to plot an attack
We can't let our guard down we cannot turn our back
Or it will happen again and that is a somber fact

I am thankful for the news I heard tonight
But it won't take away my nightmares
When I turn out my lights
For myself and so many others
PTSD from this war will be a lifetime fight

That we fulfilled our promise to take Bin Laden out
Closed a chapter in "our book" for the world to see
And will forever be remembered in World History
As a great blow to Evil and Tyranny

And a reminder to Evil wherever it hides
"You mess with the Eagle or the justice it provides
The Eagle WILL find you, and peck out your Eyes"

Angels Among Us

Angels are among us,
at each and every door

They walk beside us silently on city sidewalks,
out in the country and on sea shores

They walk beside us day and night
Ever ready to protect us,
if they are called upon to fight

Our Guardian Angels are there to help us,
to do things that are right

They help lift up our spirits and give us strength,
to battle with all our might

Life's battles come in many forms,
most are not physical you see

Most are mental judgments and decisions,
we must often make instantly

As we do our best to be good people,
and strive for that each day

Angels are always available to pick us up,
if we should stumble along the way

Yes Angels are here to help us,
each and every day

To contact them is easy,
all one has to do is pray

There are so very many ways,
that someone can pray

Not every single prayer,
is born from a bended knee

Some are kind and loving thoughts,
we think in reverence quietly

A thing they have in common,
each one from start

They are born from a desire for help,
or to "give thanks" from within our heart

Yes Angels walk among us,
and beside us it is true

Whether you believe in them or not,
I know that there is one watching over you

The Volunteer

One word has a special meaning
it is so vast and dear

It is truly known by those who it describes
the word is Volunteer

The Volunteer is a "Special Breed"

They perform miracles each day

They love the work they do indeed

And would not think of getting paid

Some say that they will be extinct
not in abundance anymore

I say they are still where help is needed
and often not asked for

They do their work for others
not seeking attention or accolades galore

They do their work with piece of mind and pride
and are seeking nothing more

They perform their deeds with reverence
and humility from the start

Simply giving "selfless service"
from their volunteering heart

While far from becoming extinct

There will always be a need

For a special giving Volunteer
to perform a special deed

For until everyone gives a little of themselves
there will always be a place to stand

For a loving Volunteer
to lend a helping hand

Upon the Stairs

I met a man upon the stairs
But when I looked, he wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh how I wish he'd go away

He follows me from room to room
I've no place to roam that is not his own

I yell at him
Words he can't hear
Words that won't hurt him
He won't shed a tear

This makes me angry, I yell some more
I wish than man would find the door
Get the hell out of here
Bother me no more

Yet in my heart I know he's here to stay
You see this man can't go away

This man couldn't leave
If leave he tried
Knowing this tears me up inside
God knows I have no place to hide

No place to run to escape his prying eyes
I am exhausted
Too tired now to care or even cry
Yes it tears me up inside

I met a man upon the stairs
Oh how I wish he wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh God I wish he would go away

Inside My Head

There's a bomb inside my head
Time fuse is burning to the "det" chord up ahead

Why don't I hurry and "render it safe"
Why do I sit here, just watching, and wait

I don't want it to detonate
Yet still I do not move from my "frozen state"

Why don't I run, before it's too late
And get to that bomb, and "render it safe"

Why am I standing here, content to just wait

Is it because I have no family at home
Is it because I am tired of being alone

Is it because I am ready to move on
To leave it all behind, and dance to a new song

And be free of the pain, this horrible pain
I can feel with each breath, in my heart and my brain

You cannot do that Soldier ... It would be so wrong
While others believe, they have you to count on

So get up, get moving, it is time to act
You know what to do... what you're good at

There is a bomb inside of my head
That I must take care of, before I am dead


Lonely is not a place to be
It is worse than Hell, or is for me

I long to be on a beach
Near the ocean or sea

But not alone, not just with me

I would like to travel on a train
But not alone, that would cause more pain

A Baseball game, NASCAR race, or Broadway play
I would like to see
So Many paces to travel, to wander, to be...

But not alone, not just with me

A town hall meeting, a county fair, any where
with a lot of people there

But I would still be all alone, and that to me
just doesn't seem fair

Lonely is no place to be

But who would want to share life, with a
severely wounded Warrior like me

No matter how grand the house I roam
All by myself, it will never be a home

Lonely is no place to be
It is worse than HELL ... or is for me

I need to get out of this place that I am in
Not out of my house, rather out of my skin

I need to unchain my brain
Before it finds me a grave

A friend, a crisis hotline
I doubt I would call

But I must do something
before I can't get up from a fall

I remember the story
"Footprints in the sand"

He was with me on missions
In that damn foreign land

I don't need a phone to make this call
I just need to take a knee; that is all

And open up my heart
So his love can pour in

If I will just start
He will take over and do his promised part

Lonely is no place to be
And no one ever is
If they just remember their "knees"

Not Together Anymore

I sit here with all alone
All these memories inside my head

Memories of a happy family that no longer is
That family now is dead

No, it is not each single member
That is dead

It is just the family unit,
That is not together anymore

The family unit it has been torn apart,
Ripped from its very core

It's the family now which is apart
That does not exist here anymore

My family, you see, it dissolved fast
When I returned home, with severe injuries from war

I had too many injuries
I had too intense of needs

With a severe brain injury
Even I did not recognize me

Slow to think and slow to speak
And often could not walk on my own

I could not eat or even sleep
I could not even answer a phone

I could not see or even hear
It was confusing and filled me full of fear

I was intense to be near
And often hurt feelings of those I loved so dear

Everyone needed some time of their own
So my family found another home

Now I wander mine alone
And it hurts deep in my heart

I hope one day old wounds will heal
That perhaps there will be a fresh new start

And my family will move back home

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts race through my head
Random memories of War, of friends now dead

They bounce off the walls inside my brain
It is no wonder why I am in so damn much pain

What do I do now
How do I mend

How do I turn off the screams, inside my head
And replace them with happy memories instead

First I'll have to make some room, and let some go
But I am not ready to, they are ALL I know

They are sick and twisted, and hurt so bad
Why can't I let them go, to no longer be sad

I guess because they are a part of me
That I do not want to let go, just want to let be

I want to take them everywhere
But not to show, these memories I cannot share

Not because I don't love you
Or think you don't care

It is just that I am scared
You won't understand

What HAD to happen
In that God Damned Land


My demons come, and then they go
Where they go, I do not know

I know the date that they begun
It makes me mad, when at night they come

I know they will stay, 'til the morning sun
It makes my nights long and not much fun

It is at night they want to play
That is why I sleep at day

If sleep at all, will come my way
It is very rare, even during the day

I know they will be out again tonight
So again I prepare for another fight

My battle won't be won
With a knife or with a gun

I can only fight back with head and heart
So with my pen I have to start

To write things down, to make them run
Back to the HELL, that they came from

It is a battle that must be won
Fighting it sure won't be fun

I cannot continue to dodge the night
I must close my eyes and sleep to win this fight

It surly will be mighty hard
To face my demons in their own "backyard"

The nightmares I must let them come
If I want to see my demons on the run

When they come into my head
I'll write them on a pad kept by my bed

Yes, I will write them down and make them run
Back to the HELL that they came from

    Unspoken Bond

    Some things go without saying

    They simply do not need to be said

    One is a bond so strong

    You never question it in your head

    Such a bond is very rare

    Once established it never breaks

    It forever stays intact with you

    Right up to your own death bed

    There is no force of nature

    No weapon strong enough to dent

    No courtroom litigation that can break it or undo

    This bond is not written or made with spoken breath

    The special bond that exists between a special few

    Is the bond of Combat Soldiers, willing to fight for you

    Willing to protect our freedom and make it possible for

    Other enslaved people to have a taste of freedom too

    Soldiers at War share this unique bond

    Understood by very few

    It is at its strongest at the very core

    A foundation that starts with two

    Each Soldier has a "Battle Buddy"

    The bond starts with these two

    They look out for one another

    In everything they do

    They train, eat, sleep and fight together

    They know each other through and through

    They build an unbreakable trust

    A bond so strong no words are necessary

    To say "I would do anything to protect you"

    My "Battle Buddy" is the greatest

    That any Soldier could ever have

    No matter the circumstance I knew

    He always "had my back"

    I would throw myself on a grenade for him

    He would "take a bullet" for me and more

    We never spoke about it out loud to each other

    It was just understood and I felt it in my very core

    My "Battle Buddy" would give his life for me

    And I for he, "The Unspoken Bond of War"

    We spent over a year in Hell together

    Everyday Death could "knock at your door"

    In War there are NO guarantees

    Except for that "Unspoken Bond of Brothers"

    That lets you know for sure

    That if Death came around knocking

    There would be TWO to meet him at the door

    I have not seen my "Battle Buddy" for some time

    As I was severely injured while at War

    I was Medically Retired from the Army

    He still wears the uniform, but one thing is for sure

    Our bond it still remains intact, still at our very core

    The "Unspoken Bond" of Combat Soldiers

    That "Unspoken Bond of War"



Excerpted from Dung In My Foxhole by Gordon L EweLL Copyright © 2011 by Gordon L EweLL. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents


May 01st, 2011 [Bin Laden]....................1
Angels Among Us....................5
The Volunteer....................9
Upon the Stairs....................11
Inside My Head....................13
Not Together Anymore....................19
Random Thoughts....................21
Unspoken Bond....................25
My Holiday Season....................31
My Independence Day....................33
Thank A Soldier Today....................35
Recovery Road....................37
I Want to Scream....................41
All Over Again....................43
My Last Mission....................51
While Looking Out My Window....................57
One Day Closer....................59
Red, White and Blue....................61
The End of My Day....................75
Combat Engineer....................77
Kiss Upon the Wind....................83
Breath of Life....................84
Star Filled Sky....................85
Eternal Love....................86
Your G.I. Joe....................87
Apple Tree Love....................88
Bus Window....................89

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DUNG IN MY FOXHOLE 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 12 reviews.
more_than_a_soldier More than 1 year ago
Wars and accounts of wars are well documented. What is not, are stories of what happens to soldiers after the wars are over. Ewell gives us this account. The way he has documented the physical, emotional and mental scars of the war that follows a soldier the rest of thier life is compelling! A well written account of a side of war, the war after the war, that we seldom hear about! You won't be able to put this book down. When you do, it won't be with a "dry eye!" Kudos to the author for giving us such insight into war and a Soldiers life after war.
KatePKB More than 1 year ago
Dung In My Foxhole is a marvelously written book about the injuries and wages of war, as seen and experienced by the author himself. I dont believe any of us who have not truly been there can ever understand exactly what our brave men and women go through to defend our country. To those who have loved ones in the military, perhaps this book may lend you some insight as to what your loved one experienced, to those who do not, but stand behind our brave men and women, this book will help you to feel their pain. This is a must read for any one. It is filled with poetry, insights, as well as wonderful sayings, penned by the author himself. Insights that help him to cope with the pains of war that follow our soldiers home. Read this book with a box of kleenex, as well as love for our military. Its truly wonderful.
Nam_Veteran More than 1 year ago
A first-hand account is always the best and Ewell's is an exceptional and touching story!!
Rockblaster More than 1 year ago
It is something for a man that has given so much of himself to protect the rest of us here. And to be able to write such beautiful, meaningful words from the heart. I think all of us need to spend more time thanking our veterans and their families for their sacrifices. Everyone needs to have this in their collections..... Thank You Gordy
CharlieWCW More than 1 year ago
Very Descriptive and Thought Provoking Book! I gained insight into not only what our Soldiers are enduring in war, but of the struggles and hardsips they must endure afterwards; especially the wounded. I never realized the battles they must continue to fight long after their "Tour of Duty" has ended! A very emotional and inspiring book! Everyone should read this book! Buy a box of tissues too! It is filled with many tears of sadness, joy and triumph!
KPalmer66 More than 1 year ago
Great book! Highly recommended! First hand account from someone whose been behind enemy lines.
TMH88 More than 1 year ago
For every one who has a military Hero in their life, you need to read this book It shows a perspective from within a real "HERO" that I have never seen before.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
From the first page to the last page it was well thought out, written and brought to light some things about the war and "Life of War" I had no idea about! More than just liked it, LOVED IT!!
birdwatcherME More than 1 year ago
Veterans AND civilians will enjoy this very touching book. The back of the book lists GREAT RESOURCES to help veterans and caregivers get some much-needed help.
Arkansas More than 1 year ago
Marvelous -- wonderful -- so sorry that anyone has to go though this, but thank you, Gordon, for sharing and helping all of us to better understand war and soldiers.
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