Read an Excerpt
Embrace Your Inner Self
Awaken Your Natural Ability to Heal
By Sangita Patel
Balboa PressCopyright © 2014 Sangita Patel
All rights reserved.
Rediscovering My Inner Child
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Be the change you want to see in the world.
For almost eighteen years, the emotional and physical pain of the car accident that killed my little brother and left me unable to walk had ruled me, inside and out. I had lost Niraj, and the pain in my left foot was so excruciating that I could not stand for more than three minutes at a time. Every few months I had to undergo arthroscopic surgery to vacuum out the bone chips that had collected in my left ankle, where I had no cartilage.
Why me? Why? Angry with God, I cried my eyes out. After all the years of surgeries and painkillers, I was not getting any better. My health was only getting worse, and I was putting on weight at an alarming rate. I felt numb from all of the suffering. I could not even feel emotionally attached to my children. I was up to my neck in grief and anxiety. Please, I thought, no more medications. No more surgeries or needles in my body. I felt like a volcano, ready to blow up. It had gotten so bad that I did not want to live anymore. I did the only thing left to do: I turned to the universe and prayed for a miracle.
When my mother-in-law passed away in 1989, my husband, our young son, and I went to India to put her ashes in the holy river of Ganges, as is traditional for Hindus. My husband went home early to go back to work, but my son and I stayed a little longer so we could bring my younger brother Niraj, who was finishing his exams, back to the United States with us for a visit.
Niraj and I—along with one of my father's employees—were on our way to pick up Niraj's passport at about 7:30 in the morning, when a huge truck, an eighteen-wheeler, swerved head-on into our lane from the opposite side of the highway. Our small car was suddenly under the truck, its roof sliced off, exposing us to further injury. My brother had been driving. My father's employee was in the front passenger seat. They both flew out of the car, while I remained stuck, my legs crushed and broken under the seat, my broken bones sticking out of my skin.
Covered in blood and broken glass, I was rushed to the nearest hospital, where doctors treated me for head injuries and prepared to chop off my legs. My father made funeral arrangements for his employee and for my brother.
When my father was finally able to see me, he had me transferred to a bigger hospital in the city. I remained there for the next eight months, while surgeons tried to put my legs back together. They reconstructed my left foot and ankle, put a rod in my left leg from my foot to my knee, and placed twenty screws in my right leg. I could not see my two-year-old son during this time, because the doctors thought it would be traumatic for him to see me scarred and bandaged from waist to toe, hooked up to machines, with my shattered legs suspended in the air. I missed him terribly.
My family waited for months to tell me about my brother's passing, fearing that the trauma would be too much for my injured brain and might cause me to go into shock and coma. When my father took my hand in the hospital room and said gently, "Sangita, I have something to tell you," I knew that something was terribly wrong. As he spoke, telling me how—and when—Niraj had died, I felt totally disoriented; it was as if I were listening to someone else's story. What was I to feel? How was I to feel when there was only pain? I had no one to talk to. This loss of my brother—on top of my physical pain and the loss of my former life—was too much. I shut down.
After that, I was moved to yet another hospital, where I started to learn to walk again, haltingly, with a walker and crutches. I felt like a baby, having to learn everything all over again. Once I had the hang of my wheelchair, my family brought me back to the United States. For the next seventeen years, I underwent surgeries every few months—the doctors taking screws out, putting new ones in, taking the rod out, and putting the new one in.
By 2005, when I finally reached my breaking point and began to pray for a miracle, my emotional and physical health were so bad that I could not stand living in my own body anymore. I wanted to die rather than have another surgery. But I had also recently begun reading self-help books by Dr. Wayne Dyer and others, and I had an inkling that there might be another way. My inner volcano threatened to erupt, but rather than letting it sweep me away, I turned to the universe and prayed: Help me heal.
All of a sudden, as if my prayers had been heard, I started getting mail about non-Western healing practices and strategies. I researched the practices and organizations. At a retreat, I met Qigong Master Lin. His vision is that we are all natural-born healers and that anyone can heal one's own body. That caught my attention. Qigong is an ancient Chinese healing modality. Qi means "energy," and gong means "working with." There are two energies, yin and yang, female and male. When there is an imbalance between these two energies, illness, organ dysfunction, stress, and even cancer, diabetes, and high blood pressure occur. Qigong exercises give positive information and affirmation to one's body again, so one can start finding balance. Since I could not stand, I could not practice yoga. I had tried, but the experience was too painful physically. However, I could do Qigong exercises while sitting down or even lying on my bed.
As I started practicing Qigong, I was also doing a spiritual course with Master Jeddah Mali, who was teaching about self-awareness, expansion, and living in the moment. Combining these modalities, my life changed completely. I started to heal, inside and out. I had always heard a faint inner voice; it felt like a heaviness in my chest, like someone was trying to talk. I began a conversation with that voice, asking, What's happening? How am I feeling? At the same time, I had dreams in which I saw myself as a little girl, six or seven years old, crying in a dark corner.
By exploring my inner self, I found my inner child, that lonely six-year-old whose parents had sent her away from home to school in a city hours away. I had missed the love from my mom and dad—and Niraj—so much. At eighteen, I had moved away from India to the United States to be with my new husband, in the marriage my grandparents had arranged for me. My brother, Niraj, was eight years younger than me—only ten when I left—and we had just begun to really know each other. We never got to bond the way I had wanted to.
The darkness that surrounded the little Sangita in my dreams was the absence of the love that I had always craved, and what I had lost in Niraj when the accident took him and my old life away from me. I grieved for what that young girl—I—had lost. I reached out to her. I told her I loved her. And then I cried for about three months, just from the relief of letting go and practicing Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It was then that I finally processed Niraj's passing. He was gone. There was no going back.
I felt liberation. Even in my dreams, everything changed. My internal vibration began to rise, and I started to feel more confident, even excited about my life. I believed that I was on this planet for a purpose. I was not just here to cook and clean and suffer.
Physically, I improved significantly as well. The inflammation in my legs decreased, and I could stand up for longer periods of time. When I could stand for more than half an hour, it was a huge accomplishment! Clarity finally came within: I had to share this gift with the world, this limitless possibility for healing.
All those years of thinking that my future held nothing but pain began to dissipate. I could now see this gift that had been made clear to me.
My present health, both physical and emotional, is incredible. My perspective is completely different from what it was. I look at tough experiences as ways to grow, and more often than not, I live in joy. I give workshops in Qigong and meditation in my local area, and I can stand up for three whole hours. I see a personal trainer, go for massage once a week, eat healthy, organic food, and take supplements instead of medication drugs. I took my last Advil in 2005, the year that I had my last surgery for my legs. I still have a couple of screws and wires in my left foot, and that leg is a little shorter and narrower than my right (I lost a couple of bones). But for seventeen years, I did not know what it felt like to put my bare foot on the ground. Now I can walk and feel the ground, feel the grass, feel Mother Earth.
We do not have to suffer emotionally or physically. Our bodies are a miracle. We can heal, once the focus turns inward. Knowing your body's systems and your inner self, you can start making the shifts in your body that are necessary for healing. That is how I started. Your healing depends on how open and willing, how committed and responsible you are. Everything that has happened in your life did not take place in one moment. Likewise, healing is a process. It is like a seed that takes nurturing, loving care, and sunshine to grow.
How open are you to receive the healing energy of the universe? The universe is always ready to help us.
Know the truth of who you are: you are God's child. You are loved, and you are safe. If you know who you really are inside, the possibilities for your healing are limitless.
When I felt overwhelmed and alone with all of my pain, journaling helped me immensely. The act of recollecting and putting it all down on paper helped me understand and finally see my true self. Try meditation. Try journaling. Try Qigong. Connect with and embrace your inner self to awaken your natural healing power. Ten minutes in the morning and in the evening of these kinds of exercises, every day, will help start the shift within your body to gradually bring you into alignment with universal energy. You will be amazed.
Miracles can and do occur. Imagine and commit yourself to healing you for yourself, and you'll be on your way to a miracle.
Every day when I wake up, my prayer is: Thank you, God, for making me your humble and loving instrument of love and healing. Please send all of your healing energy through my heart to others, so they can heal and find their light. I know that when God comes to ask me, "Did you share my gift?," I can answer with a wholehearted yes.
1. Journaling: make a list of what works for you in life and what does not work, and write how you are going to make changes so you can have a joy-filled life.
2. "Attitude of Gratitude" journal: write three things you are grateful for before you go to sleep every night.
Letting Go of the Past
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Suffering is optional. Choose wisely.
It was very hard for me to let go of the suffering process after my car accident and the loss of my only brother. Since I was not able to assimilate his death, all of my emotions were stuffed and buried within me. Whenever someone talked about him or when I drove in the truck lane on parkways, those emotions were triggered, shaking me up and taking me back into the cycle of pain. If I even spoke about the accident, tears rolled out of my eyes. It was unbearable.
I wanted to stop this suffering, so I made the choice to learn the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). This process acknowledged my feelings, releasing them for good, and I made inner peace with my trauma.
You have the ability to choose. Let go of your painful past by acknowledging the feelings that are connected to the event. Ask that feeling: what am I supposed to learn from you and from this event?
Live through every experience in your life without any regrets, as they are necessary for inner growth. I felt very guilty, depressed, sad, angry, and frustrated because I'd lost my brother and because of the way it had happened. I knew that everyone had to transition one day, naturally or through illness, accident, or other trauma. These events are just the medium of life transition. When our time comes, we have to go, and it can occur through many different ways. But at that time in my life, I didn't understand this, and EFT helped bring me back to the present moment by forgiving myself and releasing all those stuffed-up emotions.
In case you who are not familiar with Emotional Freedom Technique, let me share with you what EFT is and how it can benefit you.
EFT is based on the practice of Dr.Roger Callahan and Dr. Gary Craig, which has provided thousands with relief from pain, diseases, emotional issues, and especially past traumas and "stuffed" emotions. In early 1980's Dr Callahan had been reading and learning about other areas of energy science and the supposed relationship with the human body. He developed TFT (Thought Field Therapy)
EFT was first introduced in 1995 by Gary Craig, a Stanford Engineering graduate in lifelong pursuit of personal well-being. Gary Craig's work with EFT was a continuation of the Foundational work carried out by Dr Callahan.
Gary Craig refined the approach of TFT, adding in specific phrases to help many individuals overcome life long issues. Simply stated, EFT is acupuncture without needles. Instead, you activate well-established energy meridian points on your body by tapping on them with your fingertips. The process is easy to understand and portable, so you can do it anywhere. It helps you to let go and release pain in all areas of your life.
After making peace, getting freedom from suffering, and releasing the loss of my brother, I now do this special ritual every year on the April 11, the day of our car accident. Every member of my family draws a heart and writes a message to my brother, and then we attach these messages to a balloon and release it into the sky, sending our love to him in heaven. We make his favorite dinner and dessert and celebrate his life and memories. How cool is that?
Ask yourself these EFT questions:
What bothers me today? _______________________________
Where do I feel pain in my body? _____________________
When did this pain first begin? ______________________
Does this pain trigger with any specific person or event? _________________
What was going on in my life at that time? ___________
What name would I give to this emotion? ______________
How would I scale the pain(0–10)? ______________
Complete this set-up statement: Even though I have this ______________________________, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Use a reminder phrase while tapping the body's meridian points. You can say whatever comes to your mind at that moment for the particular issue you are working on.
After tapping, using the basic or full recipe, complete these items:
What is your level of pain now (0–10)? _________
Even though I still have some of this ______________, I deeply and completely accept myself.
The goal is to bring down the level of pain from a high value (10) to relative calmness (0–2). Then you will work on another aspect or emotion of trauma or pain.
Many emotional and physical problems are resolved by letting go of them. Below is a sample script of letting go of material things in your life. You can use it for any type of release. Just replace the words in parentheses with words that describe what you would like to release or what is not working in your life.
Sample Set-Up Statements (Karate Chop Point)
Even though I (have fear of letting go), I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I (am afraid to throw away things that I do not need), I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I (do not know where to start), I deeply and completely accept myself.
Sample Reminder Phrases
I can't let go (eyebrow point).
I can't do this (side of the eyes point).
I need my stuff (under the eyes).
I want to keep it (under the nose).
This fear of letting go ... (under the chin).
This clutter ... (collar bone).
It's not fair (under the armpit).
I will miss my stuff (top of the head).
Sample Choice Statements
I choose to let go (eyebrow point).
I am ready to let go (side of the eye point).
I feel great letting go (under the eyes).
I am not going to miss anything (under the nose).
Someone else can use it (under the chin).
I love having a clutter-free home (collar bone).
I am tired of living this way (under the armpits).
I can now find my papers and things within minutes (top of the head).
Let the tapping begin.
Excerpted from Embrace Your Inner Self by Sangita Patel. Copyright © 2014 Sangita Patel. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
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