Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

by Daniel Goleman

Paperback(Anniversary Edition)

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780553383713
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 09/27/2005
Edition description: Anniversary Edition
Pages: 384
Sales rank: 8,400
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Daniel Goleman, PH.D. is also the author of the worldwide bestseller Working with Emotional Intelligence and is co-author of Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence, written with Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee.

Dr. Goleman received his Ph.D. from Harvard and reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for twelve years, where he was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. He was awarded the American Psychological Association's Lifetime Achievement Award and is currently a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science His other books include Destructive Emotions, The Meditative Mind, The Creative Spirit, and Vital Lies, Simple Truths.

Read an Excerpt

The New Yardstick

The rules for work are changing. We're being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other. This yardstick is increasingly applied in choosing who will be hired and who will not, who will be let go and who retained, who passed over and who promoted.

The new rules predict who is most likely to become a star performer and who is most prone to derailing. And, no matter what field we work in currently, they measure the traits that are crucial to our marketability for future jobs.

These rules have little to do with what we were told was important in school; academic abilities are largely irrelevant to this standard. The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.

This is no passing fad, nor just the management nostrum of the moment. The data that argue for taking it seriously are based on studies of tens of thousands of working people, in callings of every kind. The research distills with unprecedented precision which qualities mark a star performer. And it demonstrates which human abilities make up the greater part of the ingredients for excellence at work—most especially for leadership.

If you work in a large organization, even now you are probably being evaluated in terms of these capabilities, though you may not know it. If you are applying for a job, you are likely to be scrutinized through this lens, though, again, no one will tell you so explicitly. Whatever your job, understanding how to cultivate these capabilities can be essential for success in your career.

If you are part of a management team, you need to consider whether your organization fosters these competencies or discourages them. To the degree your organizational climate nourishes these competencies, your organization will be more effective and productive. You will maximize your group's intelligence, the synergistic interaction of every person's best talents.

If you work for a small organization or for yourself, your ability to perform at peak depends to a very great extent on your having these abilities—though almost certainly you were never taught them in school. Even so, your career will depend, to a greater or lesser extent, on how well you have mastered these capacities.

In a time with no guarantees of job security, when the very concept of a "job" is rapidly being replaced by "portable skills," these are prime qualities that make and keep us employable. Talked about loosely for decades under a variety of names, from "character" and "personality" to "soft skills" and "competence," there is at last a more precise understanding of these human talents, and a new name for them: emotional intelligence.


A Different Way of Being Smart

"I had the lowest cumulative grade point average ever in my engineering school," the codirector of a consulting firm tells me. "But when I joined the army and went to officer candidate school, I was number one in my class—it was all about how you handle yourself, get along with people, work in teams, leadership. And that's what I find to be true in the world of work."

In other words, what matters is a different way of being smart. In my book Emotional Intelligence, my focus was primarily on education, though a short chapter dealt with implications for work and organizational life.

What caught me by utter surprise—and delighted me—was the flood of interest from the business community. Responding to a tidal wave of letters and faxes, e-mails and phone calls, requests to speak and consult, I found myself on a global odyssey, talking to thousands of people, from CEOs to secretaries, about what it means to bring emotional intelligence to work.

* * *

This search has taken me back to research I participated in while a graduate student, and then faculty member, at Harvard University. That research was part of an early challenge to the IQ mystique—the false but widely embraced notion that what matters for success is intellect alone. This work helped spawn what has now become a mini-industry that analyzes the actual competencies that make people successful in jobs and organizations of every kind, and the findings are astonishing: IQ takes second position to emotional intelligence in determining outstanding job performance.

Analyses done by dozens of different experts in close to five hundred corporations, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide have arrived independently at remarkably similar conclusions, and their findings are particularly compelling because they avoid the biases or limits inherent in the work of a single individual or group. Their conclusions all point to the paramount place of emotional intelligence in excellence on the job--in virtually any job.


Some Misconceptions

As I've toured the world talking and consulting with people in business, I've encountered certain widespread misunderstandings about emotional intelligence. Let me clear up some of the most common at the outset. First, emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice." At strategic moments it may demand not "being nice," but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding.

Second, emotional intelligence does not mean giving free rein to feelings—"letting it all hang out." Rather, it means managing feelings so that they are expressed appropriately and effectively, enabling people to work together smoothly toward their common goals.

Also, women are not "smarter" than men when it comes to emotional intelligence, nor are men superior to women. Each of us has a personal profile of strengths and weaknesses in these capacities. Some of us may be highly empathic but lack some abilities to handle our own distress; others may be quite aware of the subtlest shift in our own moods, yet be inept socially.

It is true that men and women as groups tend to have a shared, gender-specific profile of strong and weak points. An analysis of emotional intelligence in thousands of men and women found that women, on average, are more aware of their emotions, show more empathy, and are more adept interpersonally. Men, on the other hand, are more self-confident and optimistic, adapt more easily, and handle stress better.

In general, however, there are far more similarities than differences. Some men are as empathic as the most interpersonally sensitive women, while some women are every bit as able to withstand stress as the most emotionally resilient men. Indeed, on average, looking at the overall ratings for men and women, the strengths and weaknesses average out, so that in terms of total emotional intelligence, there are no sex differences.

Finally, our level of emotional intelligence is not fixed genetically, nor does it develop only in early childhood. Unlike IQ, which changes little after our teen years, emotional intelligence seems to be largely learned, and it continues to develop as we go through life and learn from our experiences—our competence in it can keep growing. In fact, studies that have tracked people's level of emotional intelligence through the years show that people get better and better in these capabilities as they grow more adept at handling their own emotions and impulses, at motivating themselves, and at honing their empathy and social adroitness. There is an old-fashioned word for this growth in emotional intelligence: maturity.


Why This Matters Now

At a California biotech start-up, the CEO proudly enumerated the features that made his organization state-of-the-art: No one, including him, had a fixed office; instead, everyone carried a small laptop—their mobile office—and was wired to everyone else. Job titles were irrelevant; employees worked in cross-functional teams and the place bubbled with creative energy. People routinely put in seventy- and eighty-hour work weeks.

"So what's the downside?" I asked him.

"There is no downside," he assured me.

And that was the fallacy. Once I was free to talk with staff members, I heard the truth: The hectic pace had people feeling burned out and robbed of their private lives. And though everyone could talk via computer to everyone else, people felt that no one was truly listening to them.

People desperately felt the need for connection, for empathy, for open communication.

In the new, stripped-down, every-job-counts business climate, these human realities will matter more than ever. Massive change is a constant; technical innovations, global competition, and the pressures of institutional investors are ever-escalating forces for flux.

Another reality makes emotional intelligence ever more crucial: As organizations shrink through waves of downsizing, those people who remain are more accountable—and more visible. Where earlier a midlevel employee might easily hide a hot temper or shyness, now competencies such as managing one's emotions, handling encounters well, teamwork, and leadership, show—and count--more than ever.

The globalization of the workforce puts a particular premium on emotional intelligence in wealthier countries. Higher wages in these countries, if they are to be maintained, will depend on a new kind of productivity. And structural fixes or technological advances alone are not enough: As at the California biotech firm, streamlining or other innovations often create new problems that cry out for even greater emotional intelligence.

As business changes, so do the traits needed to excel. Data tracking the talents of star performers over several decades reveal that two abilities that mattered relatively little for success in the 1970s have become crucially important in the 1990s: team building and adapting to change. And entirely new capabilities have begun to appear as traits of star performers, notably change catalyst and leveraging diversity. New challenges demand new talents.


A Coming Crisis: Rising IQ, Dropping EQ


Since 1918, when World War I brought the first mass use of IQ tests on American army recruits, the average IQ score in the United States has risen 24 points, and there has been a similar rise in developed countries around the world. The reasons include better nutrition, more children completing more schooling, computer games and puzzles that help children master spatial skills, and smaller family size (which generally correlates with higher IQ scores in children).

There is a dangerous paradox at work, however: As children grow ever smarter in IQ, their emotional intelligence is on the decline. Perhaps the most disturbing single piece of data comes from a massive survey of parents and teachers that shows the present generation of children to be more emotionally troubled than the last. On average, children are growing more lonely and depressed, more angry and unruly, more nervous and prone to worry, more impulsive and aggressive.

Two random samples of American children, age seven to sixteen, were evaluated by their parents and teachers—adults who knew them well. The first group was assessed in the mid-1970s, and a comparable group was surveyed in the late 1980s. Over that decade and a half there was a steady worsening of children's emotional intelligence. Although poorer children started out at a lower level on average, the rate of decline was the same across all economic groups—as steep in the wealthiest suburbs as in the poorest inner-city slum.

Dr. Thomas Achenbach, the University of Vermont psychologist who did these studies—and who has collaborated with colleagues on similar assessments in other nations—tells me that the decline in children's basic emotional competencies seems to be worldwide. The most telling signs of this are seen in rising rates among young people of problems such as despair, alienation, drug abuse, crime and violence, depression or eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, bullying, and dropping out of school.

What this portends for the workplace is quite troubling: growing deficiencies among workers in emotional intelligence, particularly among those newest to the job. Most of the children that Achenbach studied in the late 1980s will be in their twenties by the year 2000. The generation that is falling behind in emotional intelligence is entering the workforce today.

Table of Contents

Part One: The Emotional Brain
Chapter 1: What Are Emotions For? ..... 3
Chapter 2: Anatomy of an Emotional Hijacking ..... 13

Part Two: The Nature of Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 3: When Smart is Dumb ..... 33
Chapter 4: Know Thyself ..... 46
Chapter 5: Passion's Slaves ..... 56
Chapter 6: The Master Aptitude ..... 78
Chapter 7: The Roots of Empathy ..... 96
Chapter 8: The Social Arts ..... 111

Part Three: Emotional Intelligence Applied
Chapter 9: Intimate Enemies ..... 129
Chapter 10: Managing with Heart ..... 148
Chapter 11: Mind and Medicine ..... 164

Part Four: Windows of Opportunity
Chapter 12: The Family Crucible ..... 189
Chapter 13: Trauma and Emotional Relearning ..... 200
Chapter 14: Temperament Is Not Destiny ..... 215

Part Five: Emotional Literacy
Chapter 15: The Cost of Emotional Illiteracy ..... 231
Chapter 16: Schooling the Emotions ..... 261

Appendix A: What is Emotion? ..... 289
Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind ..... 291
Appendix C: The Neural Circuitry of Fear ..... 297
Appendix D: W.T. Grant Consortium: Active Ingredients of Prevention Programs ..... 301
Appendix E: The Self Science Curriculum ..... 303
Appendix F: Social and Emotional Learning: Results ..... 305
Notes ..... 311
Acknowledgements ..... 341
Index ..... 343

Reading Group Guide

1. Since it's initial publication, the phrase "emotional intelligence," or the shorthand, "EQ," has become widespread, showing up in settings as unlikely as the cartoon strip "Dilbert," on boxes of toys that claim to boost a child's EQ, and in personal ads seeking prospective mates. Where was the first place you heard of emotional intelligence, or EQ? What are some examples of appropriate and inappropriate uses of the term you've heard?

2. In 1995, there were only a handful of programs teaching emotional intelligence skills to children. Now, a decade later, there are tens of thousands of schools worldwide that have embraced the concept in the form of programs in "social and emotional learning," or SEL. Have you come across such programs in your personal or professional life? Do you believe it's possible–or appropriate–for schools to teach emotional skills to students? If parents don't teach these skills, and schools shouldn't, who should?

3. The author states that, in business, IQ scores predict extremely well whether a person can handle the cognitive challenges a given position demands. But IQ washes out when it comes to predicting who, among a talented pool of candidates within an intellectually demanding profession, will becomes the strongest leader. As the head of research at a global executive search firm put it, "CEOs are hired for their intellect and business expertise–and fired for a lack of emotional intelligence." How do you apply emotional intelligence skills in the workplace? Has your EQ ever played a part in your career? Has your EQ ever been evaluated in the hiring process?

4. How does the concept of emotional intelligence resonate with outlooks in religious beliefs around the world? Does it reverberate with your own faith?

5. The book portrays a society suffering from a breakdown of emotional intelligence. It cites the following statistics: Violent crimes by young people are up by a factor of four over the past twenty years. Suicides have tripled among young people in the same period, and forcible rape has doubled. Though he acknowledges that factors such as poverty play a role in the creation of violent criminals, Dr. Goleman says, "Every time we read about another senseless murder, it's a sign of emotional intelligence gone awry." What current or recent events in the news strike you as possible examples of emotional illiteracy? Do you believe there's hope for improving our collective social life by teaching emotional skills to individuals?

6. Are women more emotionally intelligent than men? Dr. Goleman doesn't believe so. He finds that each gender has its emotional strengths and weaknesses. Women are trained to be more empathetic–thus, they are often better than men are at picking up "the subtle, unspoken emotional dimension" of communication. On the other hand, women are treated for depression at twice the rate men are. Men are often better at managing their moods–a key component of emotional intelligence. What other patterns of strengths and weaknesses might be attributed to the sexes, respectively? Do you believe boys should be trained to be more aware of others' moods? Do you think girls could be given skills that would help them be more optimistic? Do you believe there are innate differences in the emotional capacities of the genders?

7. Contrary to popular wisdom, Emotional Intelligence argues that venting anger–by yelling, for instance–can cause more harm than good. The author believes catharsis has an undeserved popularity as a method of handling anger. He cites studies that show that the net effect of lashing out is to prolong rage rather than to end it. Do you think it’s desirable–or possible–to avoid emotional displays of anger? In what other ways can extreme frustration be expressed? Have you ever regretted an unplanned outburst of rage? Ever seen a tantrum produce a desired result?

8. According to the author, emotions are impulses that compel us toward–or away from–various courses of action. "Formal logic alone can never work as the basis for deciding who to marry or trust or even what job to take; these are the realms where reason without feeling is blind." He believes that gut reactions and intuitions are more than mere momentary whims, that they are sophisticated calculations based on a quick-but-careful review of past experience. Are your important life decisions based more on rationality, or on an emotion-based "gut instinct?" Can you recall any occasion when an instantaneous decision reached by your emotional circuitry steered you right . . . or wrong?

9. A previous bestselling book, The Bell Curve, asserts that one's intellectual capacities are fixed: The Bell Curve's authors claim there's no way to transcend the IQ you were born with. Emotional Intelligence defines intelligence more broadly, positing that there is an emotional brain that greatly influences the workings of the rational brain, that both contribute to one's level of intelligence, and that emotional skills can be improved on. Which view of intelligence do you find more valid, and why?

10. Tests of aspects of emotional intelligence, such as "The Marshmallow Test," have proven to be strong predictors of future success. Some four-year-olds who took "The Marshmallow Test" were able to restrain their desire for a treat in favor of a greater reward later. This triumph over the urge for immediate gratification turned out to have a far-reaching impact later in life. As high-school seniors, those who had "passed" the test "were more academically competent: better able to put their ideas into words, to use and respond to reason, to concentrate, to make plans and follow through on them, and more eager to learn. Most astonishingly, they had dramatically higher scores on their SAT tests." Given such evidence that emotional skills affect one's capacity for success, do you believe children should be given standardized tests that measure not just IQ, but also emotional intelligence?

11. The book offers compelling evidence that parents' degree of emotional skill goes far toward determining their children's level of emotional intelligence. Can you recall ways in which your parents enhanced or deterred the development of any of the five components of emotional intelligence (self-awareness; emotional control; self-motivation; empathy; handling relationships) in you or your siblings?

12. Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence; sensitivity to others' feelings is a prerequisite to developing strong relationships. Researchers believe that 90% of emotional communication is non-verbal. What are some examples of unspoken cues people use to express their feelings?

13. Dr. Goleman says modern medical care often lacks emotional intelligence. "Medicine's inattention to the impact of emotions on illness neglects a growing body of evidence which indicates that emotional states can play a significant role in vulnerability to disease and in the course of their recovery." He claims that "there are many ways medicine can incorporate new knowledge about the impact of emotions on health into its view of patient care." Have you, or has someone you know, experienced emotional insensitivity at the hands of medical professionals? How far should the health-care delivery system go in concerning itself with patients' emotion?  

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Emotional Intelligence 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 24 reviews.
Oscar_Aguilar More than 1 year ago
When this book came out in 1995 it was earth shattering for a lot of people, myself included, and I've enjoyed it and learned from it immensely since then. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes. Fifteen years have passed though, and the book has become outdated. It also doesn't show you how to improve your EQ, which is something that researchers have discovered how to do during the last decade. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 was published in the second half of 2009 (I just got it) and I love what it does. 2.0 has a step-by-step program that I used to increase my emotional intelligence, as well as access to an online emotional intelligence test that showed me where I need to improve. Emotional intelligence has finally come full circle!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book just confirms what I've been thinking for years- intelligence, that is "book smarts", is just ONE piece of what contributes to a person's overall success in life. You can be the smartest person in the world, but if you don't have other qualities like self-esteem or persistence- well, you're not going to be a happy person. Also interesting is that intelligence isn't linked to being a happy person anyway. Case in point, there is no scientific literature linking IQ or academic ability to happiness levels (check out "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World" for more on this). Anyway, this book does a good job of elaborating on the idea that intelligence will only get you so far in life- and spends its time telling you why. Here's a quick rundown of the book's five parts: -Part 1 talks about the brain's "emotional architecture" -Part 2 shows the reader how neurological givens play out in the most basic flair for living called "emotional intelligence" -Part 3 examines some key differences this aptitude makes -Part 4 gets into emotional intelligence and childhood -Part 5 explores the hazards of not mastering the emotional side of things So, if the idea of improving your life by taking a look at the emotional side of things sounds interesting to you, I would highly recommend checking this book it out.
Karen_wood More than 1 year ago
If you are interested in emotional intelligence this is definately the book for you! It goes through a variet yof situations and explains the research behind it in a clear consise and highly readable format
nicolette86 More than 1 year ago
As someone who struggles with social interactions, this book points out many things I have not noticed before. It inspired me to focus on mindful interactions while using fun antidotes and scientific experiments.
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purposeful More than 1 year ago
When I read Dr. Daniel Goleman's first version of this book, I was not convinced that he was on point. Rather, I thought his well-written and researched book provided excellent information about the neurological basis of emotions. His definition of the criteria seemed geared to social intelligence. This update clears up a few of those issues, but not all. I recommend Dr. Rosalene Glickman's book, Optimal Thinking: How to be your best self as a clear guide to understanding and resolving emotions.
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EmilyPalmer More than 1 year ago
Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman discusses daily life and how understanding ours and others' emotions is more important than IQ, and more often leads to success and happiness. In general, Emotional Intelligence was a very insightful book, which still inspires me to stop throughout the day to recognize the emotion I am feeling, and the reason for that emotion. If it is a negative emotion I can pinpoint the reason and more quickly "bounce back" to a better mood, rather than lingering on that negative mood without even acknowledging or knowing why. However, like many non-fiction books, the actually useful bits were often few and far between, pieced between sections that had already been rehashed in another section of the book, and with too many stories that didn't always apply; there were almost too many details and not enough big-picture ideas and analysis. I recommend it! It's a long read, and you may get bored or lost after a while, but it really is helpful, especially if you don't understand yours or others' emotions, and can possibly lead you to finding happiness and contentment in life.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
While perhaps not as functional as his ground-breaking book, Emotional Intelligence, this book still adds value to anyone looking to improve their E.Q. Goleman is still the go-to guy on this topic. As one who teaches classes and seminars on this subject, I believe it's well worth checking out all of Goleman's material. You'll find several useful gems along the way.
eyegirl More than 1 year ago
Enjoyed reading the material
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ST55 More than 1 year ago
Emotional Intelligence is a an Excellent book packed with data which supports the premise we are emotional beings. Facts are important, logic may make sense, metrics and statistics can guide us, however, we operate based on emotional data and needs. Daniel Goleman's book is not a quick read by any means, but well worth the time. And, his studies give perspective to IQ versus Emotional Intelligence. Know Thy Emotional Self and understand ones moods and the effect on our daily interactions. A decade old, but a fundamental read today!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book gives you an understanding about why people become emotional and emotionally overwhelmed. You learn about the parts of the brain that are responsible for emotional responses, and the various factors involved. I would recommend reading this great book in tandem with Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self which provides the specific messages of each emotion and how to best deal with them. Both books are first-rate.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book so much because Goleman presents a very excellent perspective on leadership and the need for emotional maturity and sensitivity. The requirement for emotional intelligence in organizational leadership is critical in today's business world. Highly recommend this book.