Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

by Deborah L. Davis

Overview

Deborah Davis, Ph.D., encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. Incisive comments from parents who have suffered through the death of a baby convincingly relay this message: "You are not alone and you can survive."

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781555913021
Publisher:	Fulcrum Publishing
Publication date:	02/13/1996
Edition description:	Revised Edition
Pages:	288
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range:	9 Years

About the Author

Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. is a developmental psychologist and writer who specializes in the emotional aspects of coping with crisis during pregnancy and infancy, and medical ethics and decision-making during pregnancy and in the NICU. She is the author of several books for bereaved parents and parents of premature babies and has written many articles for parents and professionals.

Table of Contents

	Preface	xi
	Acknowledgments	xv
Chapter 1	A Parent's Lonely Grief	1
	The "D" Word	1
	A Violation of Expectations	2
	The Depth of Your Loss	3
	Special Difficulties	4
	Points to Remember	8
Chapter 2	Grieving and Emotional Recovery	9
	Grieving: A Bewildering Process	9
	Common Grieving Emotions	13
	The Bittersweet Path to Resolution	18
	Surviving Grief	19
	Points to Remember	20
Chapter 3	Physical Recovery	21
	Breast Care	21
	Dilation and Curettage (D & C)	23
	Cesarean Delivery	23
	Uterine Healing	24
	Episiotomy Care	25
	Postpartum Visits	25
	Sex and Contraception	25
	Fatigue and Sleep	26
	Employment	28
	Diet and Exercise	28
	Relaxation	29
	Alternative Medicine	30
	Points to Remember	31
Chapter 4	The Early Months	32
	Decisions after Your Baby's Death	32
	Bewildering Feelings	35
	Points to Remember	47
Chapter 5	Affirming Your Baby	48
	Memories and Grief	48
	Every Baby Is Important	49
	Remembering Your Baby	50
	Rituals	60
	Points to Remember	65
Chapter 6	Painful Feelings	66
	Failure	69
	Anger	71
	Guilt	75
	Vulnerability	78
	Points to Remember	80
Chapter 7	Resolution of Grief	81
	The Journey to Resolution	82
	Making Sense of Tragedy	89
	Anniversary Reactions	92
	Thinking about What Might Have Been	93
	Keys to Survival	94
	Getting Help	95
	Points to Remember	96
Chapter 8	Making Peace with Agonizing Decisions	97
	Decisions Parents Face	97
	Wrestling with Life and Death Decisions	99
	The Decision	100
	Facing Death	103
	Living with the Decision	105
	Points to Remember	110
Chapter 9	Especially for Fathers	111
	Social Expectations	111
	Invisible Grief	112
	Reclaiming Your Emotions	116
	A Father's Unfinished Grief	121
	Points to Remember	123
Chapter 10	You and Your Partner	124
	Sharing Thoughts and Feelings	124
	Accepting Your Differences	125
	Reassurance	128
	Tolerating Change and Conflict	129
	Can Our Relationship Survive?	132
	Parents without Partners	133
	Points to Remember	135
Chapter 11	Your Family	136
	Your Baby's Grandparents	136
	Other Relatives	138
	Other Children in the Family	139
	Points to Remember	153
Chapter 12	Support Networks	154
	Friends	154
	Parent Support Groups	163
	Counseling	167
	Healthcare Providers	169
	Spirituality and Religion	173
	Points to Remember	175
Chapter 13	The Subsequent Pregnancy: Trying Again	176
	Should We Try Again?	176
	When Should We Try Again?	177
	When Partners Are on Different Timetables	181
	Can We Get Pregnant?	183
	Prenatal Care	184
	Points to Remember	190
Chapter 14	Coping during Subsequent Pregnancy and Birth	191
	The Pregnancy	191
	The Birth	199
	Coping after the Birth	201
	Another Loss	203
	Points to Remember	204
Chapter 15	Raising Subsequent Children	205
	Heightened Appreciation	205
	Overprotectiveness	205
	The Replacement Child	211
	Talking about the Baby Who Died	214
	Multiple Birth Survivors	216
	Points to Remember	219
Chapter 16	Protective Parenting	220
	Following Your Nurturing Instincts	220
	Wanting to Be the Best Parent Possible	224
	Protective Parenting in Action	231
	Balancing Career and Motherhood	232
	Reconsidering How Many Children to Raise	233
	Points to Remember	234
Chapter 17	Remembering Your Baby and Moving On	235
	Remembering	236
	Moving On	237
	Remembering, Moving On	238
	Song for an Empty Cradle	239
	Appendices
Appendix A	A Note to Caregivers	241
Appendix B	Journal Writing: A Tool for Grieving, Healing and Growth	247
Appendix C	Resources for Bereaved Parents	251
	Bibliography	257
	Index	263

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is written with great awareness and sensitivity. Deborah Davis gets it just right." -Sheila Kitzinger, author of The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth

"...there is comfort in these pages." -Mothering magazine

"This gentle book fills a void often overlooked how it feels to lose a baby during or shortly after pregnancy." -Booklist

"Davis speaks directly to the emotional and physical needs of bereaved parents." -Judith Lasker, author of When Pregnancy Fails

"This book is a comprehensive resource for bereaved parents and the practitioners who help them." -THANATOS, A Realistic Journal Concerning Dying, Death and Bereavement

"As the mother of a stillborn son, I find this book to be the best I've found to date (and I've read at least 20!)." -J. Walter, Pennsylvania

"The best book on this subject. I did a huge amount of reading after I lost my baby, and I can tell you that this book is head and shoulders above anything else I've read on this subject. -A. Douglas, Canada

Editorial Reviews

"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is written with great awareness and sensitivity. Deborah Davis gets it just right." -Sheila Kitzinger, author of The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth

"...there is comfort in these pages." -Mothering magazine

"This gentle book fills a void often overlooked how it feels to lose a baby during or shortly after pregnancy." -Booklist

"Davis speaks directly to the emotional and physical needs of bereaved parents." -Judith Lasker, author of When Pregnancy Fails

"This book is a comprehensive resource for bereaved parents and the practitioners who help them." -THANATOS, A Realistic Journal Concerning Dying, Death and Bereavement

"As the mother of a stillborn son, I find this book to be the best I've found to date (and I've read at least 20!)." -J. Walter, Pennsylvania

"The best book on this subject. I did a huge amount of reading after I lost my baby, and I can tell you that this book is head and shoulders above anything else I've read on this subject. -A. Douglas, Canada

From the Publisher