Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

by Deborah L. Davis

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Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis

Deborah Davis, Ph.D., encourages grieving and makes suggestions for coping. Incisive comments from parents who have suffered through the death of a baby convincingly relay this message: "You are not alone and you can survive."

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781555913021
Publisher: Fulcrum Publishing
Publication date: 02/13/1996
Edition description: Revised Edition
Pages: 288
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.90(d)
Age Range: 9 Years

About the Author

Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. is a developmental psychologist and writer who specializes in the emotional aspects of coping with crisis during pregnancy and infancy, and medical ethics and decision-making during pregnancy and in the NICU. She is the author of several books for bereaved parents and parents of premature babies and has written many articles for parents and professionals.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1A Parent's Lonely Grief1
The "D" Word1
A Violation of Expectations2
The Depth of Your Loss3
Special Difficulties4
Points to Remember8
Chapter 2Grieving and Emotional Recovery9
Grieving: A Bewildering Process9
Common Grieving Emotions13
The Bittersweet Path to Resolution18
Surviving Grief19
Points to Remember20
Chapter 3Physical Recovery21
Breast Care21
Dilation and Curettage (D & C)23
Cesarean Delivery23
Uterine Healing24
Episiotomy Care25
Postpartum Visits25
Sex and Contraception25
Fatigue and Sleep26
Diet and Exercise28
Alternative Medicine30
Points to Remember31
Chapter 4The Early Months32
Decisions after Your Baby's Death32
Bewildering Feelings35
Points to Remember47
Chapter 5Affirming Your Baby48
Memories and Grief48
Every Baby Is Important49
Remembering Your Baby50
Points to Remember65
Chapter 6Painful Feelings66
Points to Remember80
Chapter 7Resolution of Grief81
The Journey to Resolution82
Making Sense of Tragedy89
Anniversary Reactions92
Thinking about What Might Have Been93
Keys to Survival94
Getting Help95
Points to Remember96
Chapter 8Making Peace with Agonizing Decisions97
Decisions Parents Face97
Wrestling with Life and Death Decisions99
The Decision100
Facing Death103
Living with the Decision105
Points to Remember110
Chapter 9Especially for Fathers111
Social Expectations111
Invisible Grief112
Reclaiming Your Emotions116
A Father's Unfinished Grief121
Points to Remember123
Chapter 10You and Your Partner124
Sharing Thoughts and Feelings124
Accepting Your Differences125
Tolerating Change and Conflict129
Can Our Relationship Survive?132
Parents without Partners133
Points to Remember135
Chapter 11Your Family136
Your Baby's Grandparents136
Other Relatives138
Other Children in the Family139
Points to Remember153
Chapter 12Support Networks154
Parent Support Groups163
Healthcare Providers169
Spirituality and Religion173
Points to Remember175
Chapter 13The Subsequent Pregnancy: Trying Again176
Should We Try Again?176
When Should We Try Again?177
When Partners Are on Different Timetables181
Can We Get Pregnant?183
Prenatal Care184
Points to Remember190
Chapter 14Coping during Subsequent Pregnancy and Birth191
The Pregnancy191
The Birth199
Coping after the Birth201
Another Loss203
Points to Remember204
Chapter 15Raising Subsequent Children205
Heightened Appreciation205
The Replacement Child211
Talking about the Baby Who Died214
Multiple Birth Survivors216
Points to Remember219
Chapter 16Protective Parenting220
Following Your Nurturing Instincts220
Wanting to Be the Best Parent Possible224
Protective Parenting in Action231
Balancing Career and Motherhood232
Reconsidering How Many Children to Raise233
Points to Remember234
Chapter 17Remembering Your Baby and Moving On235
Moving On237
Remembering, Moving On238
Song for an Empty Cradle239
Appendix AA Note to Caregivers241
Appendix BJournal Writing: A Tool for Grieving, Healing and Growth247
Appendix CResources for Bereaved Parents251

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart is written with great awareness and sensitivity. Deborah Davis gets it just right." -Sheila Kitzinger, author of The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth

"...there is comfort in these pages." -Mothering magazine

"This gentle book fills a void often overlooked how it feels to lose a baby during or shortly after pregnancy." -Booklist

"Davis speaks directly to the emotional and physical needs of bereaved parents." -Judith Lasker, author of When Pregnancy Fails

"This book is a comprehensive resource for bereaved parents and the practitioners who help them." -THANATOS, A Realistic Journal Concerning Dying, Death and Bereavement

"As the mother of a stillborn son, I find this book to be the best I've found to date (and I've read at least 20!)." -J. Walter, Pennsylvania

"The best book on this subject. I did a huge amount of reading after I lost my baby, and I can tell you that this book is head and shoulders above anything else I've read on this subject. -A. Douglas, Canada

Customer Reviews

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Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Revised Edition: Surviving the Death of Your Baby 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 13 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
We were given this book after the death of our 8-week old son, Ferguson. We've also acquired five other books on infant/child death, and this one has been the most helpful. There are lots of examples from parents going through similar circumstances. It's made me realize I'm not crazy - my thoughts are normal. Of all the books I've read, this is the most comforting. In fact, I've refered to some chapters over and over. I confess I'm still looking for that book or website that gives me the information I'm really looking for... but I'm not even sure what it is. Best wishes for you grieving parents out there. I hope this book helps.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Last year I had a miscarriage, then the next pregnancy I lost twin girls. One at 8 weeks gestation and one full term who lived only one hour. This book has helped me more than I can say. I have read a few of these types of books and this one is the best! It covers everything I have felt and am feeling and will feel. This book is so comforting. It will let you let you know that what you are feeling is normal and how to deal with everything going on around you. I did not like chapter 8 though because I am anti-abortion, but other than that this is a perfect book. I would not be where I am right now if I did not have the book to read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book offered alot of information and support for those grieving the loss of a child. AFter the loss of my daughter to SIDS at the age of three months I was given this book and found it to provide much needed support and guidence through the grieving process.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
I received this book a month or so after I lost my son when he was 13 days old. This book covers so many emotions & thoughts that I experienced & still do. The author did her research on this subject. There are stories & quotes on the experience of infant loss from mothers & fathers that lost babies from miscarriages, still-births & early infant loss. She covers the early stages of grief, ways to memorialize your baby, a how to for journaling, a father's grief, grandparents' grief, how friends can help, how first responders can help, subsequent pregnancies & more. I recommend this book to anyone who has lost a infant or anyone who knows someone that has. I still re-read this book as grief is an on-going process. Thanks Deborah L. David for writing the best book/guide I have read yet on this topic, you are truly an angel to bereaved parents like me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A dear friend of mine dropped this book of to me shortly after I lost my baby and said, "read if you'd like. I won't be offended if you if you choose not to." After a few days I opted to read it and I'm so glad I chose to. This book is amazingly helpful as it offers so much from grieving suggestions, reassures you that your feelings are normal, its not written with a "how you must feel or should feel" tone, has no religious point of view, and it can be read in sections that pertain to your particular situation. Throughout the book you'll find snippets of others experiences which I found comforting as some were relatable to my situation. This book is beautifully written.
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LisaWA More than 1 year ago
"Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News" was much more informative for me, as I was clueless as to why and what was happening when I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Losing a baby is very difficult and this book helped me a little. I personally enjoyed the poems that other women wrote. Another good thing about this book is you can begin wherever you want.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Before the death of our daughter, April 19, 2000, we thought that babies only died during pregnancy in the olden days. At first we felt very alone, but after reading Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, we confirmed that our feelings were natural, and other parents feel the same way. By reading about, and talking to other parents who have lost babies, we began our healing process. Our feelings of emptiness for our daughter will never go away, and she will never be replaced, but she will always be in our hearts.