Enough Already! Yes, You Are will inspire you to wake up to your truest self by crushing the myth that your enough-ness resides somewhere "out there." Elizabeth offers real-life solutions for you to get who you really areseparate from what you have and doand provides step-by-step tools to help you live in the powerful present. Best of all: Enough Already! will have you living with more joy and satisfaction now, and will bring more creativity and inspiration to all those important dreams. So grab a comfy seat . . . this book is in your hands for a reason.
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About the Author
a life-enrichment company. She is a speaker, author, and coach who has been inspiring audiences around the globe for over 25 years. She is a certified trainer for the Canfield Success Principles, Louise Hay Heal Your Life program, and her writing has been included in collections authored by Deepak Chopra and Stephen Covey. Elizabeth resides in Chapel Hill, NC, with her life squeeze, Greg, and their two rescue pups. You can reach her at www.enough.rocks.
Read an Excerpt
We Teach What We Need to Learn
When I was growing up, a common buzz phrase was: "One day your ship will come in." One day ... at a future and unknowable date ... if you do everything right and then wait long enough ... you'll get what you were hoping for. Then you will be happy, then you will be stable, then life will be predictable, then ...
It was a familiar message that I never questioned, until I did.
From a very early age, I was always examining myself and others. I enjoyed observing human patterns and behaviors, and if a classmate was in some kind of trouble, I couldn't focus on schoolwork until I at least tried to fix the problem. If problems arose between friends, I stepped in — mediating before I knew what the word meant. It seemed a career in counseling was written in the stars. However, after failing at my first job as a counselor, I stumbled and doubted my life direction.
That counseling job was at a children's home in Asheville, North Carolina. The counselors were amazing, and the kids were fortunate to have such love and support. I went home each night with the children's stories weighing heavy on my soul. I heard stories of abuse and neglect, of loneliness and longing. To my utter dismay, I had to admit I was not cut out for the job. I wanted to fix these kids, to take away their pain, and I found myself exhausted and discouraged.
So I gave my notice. I felt like a failure — not just to those kids, but also to myself. I had spent four-plus years studying social work and psychology, graduating with a counseling degree, and yet I didn't last a month in that field. What was I going to do?
I decided to go back to what I knew: waitressing. It paid the bills and I was damn good at it. Still in Asheville, I got a job at the Biltmore Estate where I served generous tourists, and the tips rocked.
Yet while my pockets were full, my heart was empty. My true calling seemed a million miles away. I felt I had gifts that I wasn't using. I did, however, have a deep connection with God and the Universe, so after some late-night talks with God and lots of nature walks, I was reminded of a gift I might start tapping into.
While attending Warren Wilson College a few years earlier, I — with some discomfort — discovered that I was an "empath." An empath is one who has the ability to feel others' feelings. I clearly remember the day I was hanging out with my friend Josie and my ear started hurting. I looked at her and asked if she had an earache. This seemed to freak her out. She looked at me with a distorted face and said, "Yes! How did you know that?"
"Because my ear hurts," I said, "but I know there's nothing wrong with it." I winced slightly as I confessed this, from the familiar combination of feeling embarrassed yet affirmed.
Josie said she thought I was weird, and I think she scooted a little farther away on the cafeteria bench.
While this episode didn't help our friendship, it did help me own this gift, despite the potential separation I felt from those who didn't get me. The experience of feeling other people's feelings was not new, but I had done a good job of hiding it. I had always been sensitive to others' thoughts and feelings. Now, with trepidation, I was ready to begin owning it.
The amazing thing was, I didn't even know that I hadn't been owning it. The truth was I had shoved this gift to the side because it made me feel so different, and I had allowed the pain of separation to snuff out my light. My desperate desire to be accepted was now being challenged by my even more desperate desire to be me.
So, there I was. A college grad feeling like a counseling failure, knowing I didn't want to waitress the rest of my life, and an empath who couldn't even help herself.
It was time for some serious introspection.
My grandmother's best friend lived in Santa Barbara, California, and she invited me to come visit. The summer was approaching, so I gathered my waitressing loot and bought a ticket to the West Coast. Upon arriving I found my trusty waitress job (oh, dear God); but I also found a whole different vibe! Santa Barbara was a great town with positive energy. I quickly met interesting people who spoke of the mind-body connection, and I felt as though they were speaking my language. A language that had been foreign until then. After an insightful California summer, with answers to some heady questions, I returned to North Carolina and enrolled in a bunch of classes on the body-mind connection. I felt I was making some progress.
Then I met Dr. Rick Moss, who had started the Center for Pre-Cognitive Re-Education in Carmel, California. He'd come to North Carolina to visit his father, and he offered "Pre-Cog" sessions while in town. Pre-cognitive re-education helps people identify the subconscious, limiting beliefs that block them from what they really want to create, and gives them tools to turn those limiting beliefs into conscious, affirming ones.
We Are Not Our Beliefs
After one session with Rick, I knew I wanted to learn more. In that session, I saw the younger aspect of me — little Liz — who never felt enough. The "never enough" feeling was so familiar. Around friends I wasn't funny enough; around guys, never pretty enough; in school, never smart enough. Even when I gave someone a birthday present, I cringed inside and wondered, "Did I give enough?"
It's almost funny now, but the way we torture ourselves isn't funny at all. It's debilitating and destructive, and feels palpable as I write this. But it's something we can — must — stop, which is why I wrote this book.
In the session with Dr. Moss, I saw my life flash before my eyes, including all the decisions I had made based on that "never enough" belief system — the jobs I chose, the relationships I attracted, and the limitations I placed on my visions of the future.
But then the magic happened: I realized that when I separated myself from these beliefs, and saw that I still existed — I could see clearly that I was NOT those limiting beliefs. One by one I separated myself from each belief, almost like a cartoon character with a thought bubble above her head — remove the thought bubble (the limiting belief), and the character is still there.
This was a real revelation for me. I knew those old limiting beliefs came from many different places — messages I'd heard over the years; fears I'd held on to; things people said to me, like when Josie called me weird and scooted away from me in the school cafeteria.
But now that I could separate out those limiting beliefs, I gained access to the real me. The me I had been so good at hiding and shoving to the side and worrying about. This kind of work felt so familiar to my soul, I knew I wanted to learn more and use it to help others.
Would the "not pretty, smart, or good enough" thoughts reappear? Oh, yes! But with the understanding that we live in a society that breeds continual "not enough" beliefs and reinforces them with constant comparisons, I knew I had the tools to get past those thoughts. I knew I didn't have to live or act that way anymore. I could separate out from the limiting belief character and be enough.
This new awareness that we are NOT our limiting beliefs empowered me to write my new story — and to help others do the same.
When we're aware of what we're telling ourselves — when we unmask our insecurities and align with who we really are — we can shine. In fact, we can't stop ourselves from shining. When we separate ourselves from those crippling images that hold us back, they begin to vanish like the mirages they are. We get glimpses of heaven on earth.
We no longer have to wait for "one day," because we see that our ship has been there all along.
Helping Others Climb on Board
What does it take to make this shift? Turns out, some days it's easier than others. After the momentous realization that my thoughts and I were not one and the same, and years of intensive study on the subject, I began teaching workshops across the country. I was passionate about helping others learn how to separate themselves from their stories, to identify less with past hurts, and to live in the powerful present.
I continued to study with several teachers, including Patricia Crane and Rick Nichols in the Heal Your Life program, which is based on the philosophy of the beloved Louise Hay. Heal Your Life reinforces the power that positive affirmations have on one's life. I am honored to be certified in this teaching, as I believe that everything I teach I also need to learn. The teacher must always take the seat of the student.
Most recently, my student seat took the form of becoming a certified teacher and success coach in the Canfield Success Principles — another great training that feels familiar to my soul. These principles teach the necessity of putting yourself in the driver's seat, taking responsibility for your life, thinking positively, and remembering that your past does not dictate your future.
I created my own coaching company and called it Pinnacle View — because a shift in perception will put you on top of the world. For more than two decades I have coached hundreds of clients and inspired audiences around the globe with these principles.
I am grateful for the work I get to do each day, the reminders that I still need to practice, and the tribe of friends who support me.
I do know that my ship has already come in, and having the audacity to choose such a concept sends me on the ride of my life: a ride that creates a huge paradigm shift — from the ever-hopeful, unattainable future to the delicious, manifesting present! I jumped on board — with all my perfect imperfections, all my unreached goals, all my unattained wealth, and all my insecurities that (yes) still follow me around.
These days I feel liberated, and I experience a lightness in my step that was not there back when I was under the debilitating spell of focusing on who I was not, what I had not attained, and how I feared the future. I'm here to help you feel lighter, too.
What I bring you in this book is offered as a gift — the gift of helping you see who you really are. In these pages, I will assist you in letting go of limiting beliefs, past wounds, and feelings of not being enough that may be holding you back. I will hand you the mirror and allow you to see the amazing you — who has been there all along.
With this gift you will gain tools to help you design your life with more hope, enhanced joy, greater awareness, and deeper satisfaction. You will experience deeper trust in your inner wisdom and intuition, and a stronger connection with Spirit. It is a whole new journey. And one, I find, that we have all been searching for.
This book is filled with lessons that have transformed my own ever-evolving life and the lives of my clients and audiences. I am living proof that we teach what we need to learn, and I am eager to help you discover — open your eyes to — the magic of who you already are today!
Now is the time; here is the place.
You have already arrived. Yes, you are enough already!
We are on a journey home. Home to ourselves. It's a journey of discarding old stories and claiming the new. It's one that will surely have you arrive ... right where you've always dreamed you could be. Right where you already are. Enough!
— Elizabeth TrinkausCHAPTER 2
Doubting Dotty and Believing Betty
A couple of characters weaseled their way into my book. Allow me to introduce you to Doubting Dotty and Believing Betty. Perhaps you will recognize them.
Doubting Dotty believes:
her "happy" is somewhere out there
she is never quite good enough
she will be happy when she loses pounds, has partner, and makes $
nearly everyone else has it better
she is somehow flawed
Believing Betty believes:
that joy and satisfaction in life are in this present moment
her best is enough
she is a miracle ... (and so are you)
she can shift from the inner critic to compassion
that despite the goals she has yet to achieve, she has already arrived, and she is already enough
Doubting Dotty is likely very familiar — to you, and your preceding generations! The messages are subtle, yet incessant. They present a life-sucking energy that you want to make go away, but can't. Without the proper tools, it's like trying to push a buoy under water. Guess what — it pops back up again.
Believing Betty, on the other hand, understands that no one is a stranger to the doubter within; Betty knows with certainty that you have choices. You have the choice to shift your thinking, every minute of every day. With lots of proven tools, you can make the shifts you need to make. You can see you are ... already enough.
Your Turn ...
Each of us has thoughts like those of Believing Betty and Doubting Dotty. In order for you to get clear about what yours might be, take time to write down a few examples that seem familiar to you.
I feel like Doubting Dotty when I think:
I feel like Believing Betty when I think:
Two birds circle above me.
— Elizabeth Trinkaus
I'm Afraid I Am That Kind of Girl
The experiences you have every day, that affect every corner of your life, depend entirely on whom you listen to. Imagine you're tuned in to the radio. Which station is preset for you? If you're being bombarded with negative chatter, like a snarky "shock jock" constantly railing against you, are you willing to switch stations? Will you do it — now?
I'm Afraid I Am That Kind of Girl Who:
Worries what others think Believes she has to do more to feel enough Looks in the mirror and sees the flaws Gets insecure before she speaks Doesn't know how to stop Feels guilty when she says "no"
I stand before you now ... because I was that kind of girl, and one day I refused to be. With the help of great teachers and daily reminders ...
I Am the Kind of Girl Who:
Worries less what others think Reminds herself her best is enough Looks in the mirror and has learned to say, "I love you"
Your Turn ...
Are you willing to look at some of the things you tell yourself on a regular basis? Are you open to shifting what is no longer serving you? Have fun with it. Play with these possibilities ...
Fill in your own poems here.
I'm Afraid I Am the Kind of Girl Who:
I Am the Kind of Girl Who:CHAPTER 3
Statistically Speaking, You Really Are a Miracle
When my GPS says, "You've arrived at your destination," I take in a deep breath and let go. Ahhh, I have arrived ... at my desired destination.
What if I lived my life in this state — as though I have already arrived, that I am "enough" now — instead of believing that the good stuff is j-u-s-t around the corner, out there somewhere? How would I feel? How would I act? How would my life be different?
Let's explore the possibility of living as though we have already arrived — every day — and experience the audacity of such a choice.
Think about your own internal GPS. What is it set to find? What if you really are a miracle?
Consider the Statistics
We are here, breathing, in human form. Do you know the statistics for such a phenomenon? The chance of that happening at all? Get ready for this: Scientists proclaim that the probability of you being born is about one in 400 trillion! Stop and take that in for a moment.
One in 400 trillion! (Trust me for now. We'll explain the math below.)
When I first heard this statistic, I was astonished. It was a challenge to wrap my head around it. The sheer enormity of such a number had me pause, ride the fine line of belief and disbelief, and truly consider approaching my life differently. One in 400 trillion — this information put a spin on life that wasn't there before. It propelled a newfound appreciation of my own and everyone else's existence. A less-pressured calling began to tug at me, and I had new eyes with which to navigate this journey. Whoa!
Perhaps I am a miracle ...
... And so are you!
Dr. Ali Binazir details the math behind this phenomenon in his blog post "What Are the Chances of Your Coming into Being?" He says he'd heard something similar in the Buddhist version, which imagines there is one life preserver thrown into an ocean, and one turtle swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water and into the middle of that life preserver in just one try!(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Enough Already! Yes, You Are"
Copyright © 2018 Elizabeth Trinkaus.
Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Who This Book Is For, xi,
Chapter 1: We Teach What We Need to Learn, 1,
Chapter 2: Doubting Dotty and Believing Betty, 9,
Chapter 3: Statistically Speaking, You Really Are a Miracle, 15,
Chapter 4: 86 the Mirage, 21,
Chapter 5: Our Thoughts Affect Everything, 25,
Chapter 6: Switching the Station, 29,
Chapter 7: An Exercise Typically Reserved for the Dead, 37,
Chapter 8: The Courage to Affirm, 41,
Chapter 9: N-O-W, 47,
Chapter 10: My (Half) Marathon Story, 51,
Chapter 11: Choosing Love or Fear, 57,
Chapter 12: The Stories We Tell Ourselves, 63,
Chapter 13: Real-Life Clients' Old/New Stories, 69,
Chapter 14: Positive Chalk Talk, 79,
Chapter 15: The Backpack, 81,
Chapter 16: The Audacity to Shine, 89,
Chapter 17: Your Happy Place, 99,
Chapter 18: We All Need Reminders, 103,
Chapter 19: The Enough Already! Happy Dance, 109,
About the Author, 111,