Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time

Audiobook(CD - Abridged)

View All Available Formats & Editions


From the television to the Internet, print media to videos, men are constantly faced with the assault of sensual images. It is impossible to avoid such temptations…but, thankfully, not impossible to rise above them.

Shattering the perception that men are unable to control their thought lives and roving eyes, Every Man’s Battle shares the stories of dozens who have escaped the trap of sexual immorality and presents a practical, detailed plan for any man who desires sexual purity- perfect for men who have fallen in the past, those who want to remain strong today, and alll who want to overcome tempatation in the future.

“There is no more common enemy of true manhood than the diversion or the perversion of our sexual capacities. I welcome every contribution to the arsenal of resistance.”
Jack W. Hayford, Litt.D., pastor of The Church on the Way and president of The King’s Seminary

“The vulnerable, honest, and insightful pages of this book reveal what every man must know.”
-Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

“Clear, practical principles for sexual purity…a call for courage, commitment, and self-discipline.”
-Dr. John C. Maxwell, founder of the INJOY Group

“Read with an open heart, Every Man’s Battle may save your marriage and your witness.”
-Dr. Gary Rosberg, president of America’s Family Coaches author of Guard Your Heart and The Five Love Needs of Men and Women

Includes a special section for women, designed to help them understand, empathize, and support the men they love.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781578567140
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/28/2003
Edition description: Abridged
Product dimensions: 4.91(w) x 5.60(h) x 0.91(d)

About the Author

Stephen Arterburn is founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily "New Life Live!" national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, a nationally known speaker and licensed minister, and the best-selling author of more than two dozen books. He is the best-selling author of more than two dozen books including the popular Every Man Series. He resides with his family in Laguna Beach, California.

Fred Stoeker is a lay minister and conference speaker who has counseled hundreds of couples in how to connect in intimate relationships with their spouses. Fred and his wife, Brenda, live in the Des Moines, Iowa area with their four children.

Kenny Luck, president and founder of Every Man Ministries, leads the Men's Interactive Bible Study at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. He and his wife, Chrissy, have three children and reside in Rancho Santa Margarita, California.

Read an Excerpt

our stories
“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity” (Ephesians 5:3). If there’s a single Bible verse that captures God’s standard for sexual purity, this is it.
And it compels this question: In relation to God’s standard, is there even a hint of sexual impurity in your life?
For both of us, the answer to that question was yes.

In 1983 my wife, Sandy, and I celebrated our first anniversary. One sun-splashed Southern California morning that year, feeling good about life and our future, I hopped in our 1973 Mercedes 450SL–the car of my dreams, white with a black top. I owned it for just two months.
I was tooling northbound through Malibu on my way to Oxnard, where I’d been asked to testify in a court hearing about whether a hospital should add an addiction treatment center. I always loved driving along the PCH, as locals called the Pacific Coast Highway. These four lanes of blacktop hugged the golden coastline and provided a close-up view of L.A.’s beach culture. With the top down and the wind blowing in my face, I found that summer morning to be alive.
I never intentionally set out to be girl-watching that day, but I spotted her about two hundred yards ahead and to the left. She was jogging toward me along the coastal sidewalk. From my sheepskin-covered leather seat, I found the view outstanding, even by California’s high standards.
My eyes locked on to this goddesslike blonde, rivulets of sweat cascading down her tanned body as she ran at a purposefulpace. Her jogging outfit, if it could be called that in those days before sports bras and spandex, was actually a skimpy bikini. As she approached on my left, two tiny triangles of tie-dyed fabric struggled to contain her ample bosom.
I can’t tell you what her face looked like; nothing above the neckline registered with me that morning. My eyes feasted on this banquet of glistening flesh as she passed on my left, and they continued to follow her lithe figure as she continued jogging southbound. Simply by lustful instinct, as if mesmerized by her gait, I turned my head further and further, craning my neck to capture every possible moment for my mental video camera.

Then blam!
I might still be marveling at this remarkable specimen of female athleticism if my Mercedes hadn’t plowed into a Chevelle that had come to a complete stop in my lane. Fortunately, I was traveling only fifteen miles per hour in the stop-and-go traffic, but the mini-collision crumpled my front bumper and crinkled the hood. And the fellow I smacked into didn’t appreciate the considerable damage to his rear end.
I got out of the car–embarrassed, humiliated, saturated with guilt, and unable to offer a satisfying explanation. No way would I tell this guy, “Well, if you’d seen what I saw, you’d understand.”

Nor could I tell the truth to my beautiful wife, Sandy. That evening, I put my best spin on the morning’s unfortunate event in Malibu. “You see, Sandy, it was stop-and-go, and I was reaching down to change the radio channel, and the next thing I knew I rammed into a Chevy. Lucky no one was hurt.”
Actually, my young marriage was hurt–because I was cheating Sandy out of my full devotion, though I didn’t know it at the time. Nor was I aware that although I’d vowed to commit my life to Sandy, I hadn’t totally committed my eyes to her.’
I continued in the darkness for another ten years before realizing I needed to make dramatic changes in the way I looked at women.

It happened every Sunday morning during our church worship service. I’d look around and see other men with their eyes closed, freely and intensely worshiping the God of the universe. Myself? I sensed only a wall of separation between the Lord and me.
I just wasn’t right with God. As a new Christian, I imagined I just didn’t know God well enough yet. But nothing changed as time passed.
When I mentioned to my wife, Brenda, that I felt vaguely unworthy of Him, she wasn’t the least bit surprised.
“Well, of course!” she exclaimed. “You’ve never felt worthy to your own father. Every preacher I’ve known says that a man’s relationship with his father tremendously impacts his relationship with his heavenly Father.”
“You could be right,” I allowed.
I hoped it was that simple. I mulled it over as I recalled my days of youth.

My father, handsome and tough, was a national wrestling champion in college and a bulldog in business. Aching to be like him, I began wrestling in junior high. But the best wrestlers are natural-born killers, and I didn’t have a wrestler’s heart.
My dad was coaching wrestling at the time at the high school in our small town of Alburnett, Iowa. Though I was still in junior high, he wanted me to wrestle with the older guys, so he brought me to the high school workouts.
One afternoon we were practicing escapes, and my partner was in the down position. While grappling on the mat, he suddenly needed to blow his nose. He straightened up, pulled his T-shirt to his nose, and violently emptied the contents onto the front of his shirt. We quickly returned to wrestling. As the up man, I was supposed to keep a tight grip on him. Reaching around his belly, my hand slid into his slimy T-shirt. Sickened, I let him go.
Dad, seeing his escape so easily, dressed me down. “What kind of a man are you?” he roared. Staring hart at the mat, I realized that if I had a wrestler’s heart, I would have cranked down tightly and ridden out my opponent, maybe grinding his face into the mat in retaliation. But I hadn’t.
I still wanted to please Dad, so I tried other sports. At one baseball game, after striking out, I remember handing my head on the way back to the dugout. “Get your head up!” he hollered for all to hear. I was mortified. The he wrote me a long letter detailing my every mistake.
Years later, after I’d married Brenda, my father felt she had too much control in our marriage. “Real men take charge of their households,” he said.

Now, as Brenda and I discussed my relationship with my dad, she suggested I might need counseling. “It surely couldn’t hurt,” she said.
So I read some books and counseled with my pastor, and my feelings toward Dad improved. But I continued to feel that distance from God during the Sunday morning worship services.
The true reason for that distance slowly dawned on me: There was a hint of sexual immorality in my life. There was a monster lurking about, and it surfaced each Sunday morning when I settled in my comfy La-Z-Boy and opened the Sunday morning newspaper. I would quickly find the department-store inserts and begin paging through the colored newsprint filled with models posing in bras and panties. Always smiling. Always available, I loved lingering over each ad insert. It’s wrong, I admitted, but it’s such a small thing. It was a far cry from Playboy, I told myself.
I peered through the panties, fantasizing. Occasionally, a model reminded me of a girl I once knew, and my mind rekindled the memories of our times together. I rather enjoyed my Sunday mornings with the newspaper.
As I examined myself more closely, I found I had more than a hint of sexual immorality. Even my sense of humor reflected it. Sometimes a person’s innocent phrase–even from our pastor–struck me with a double sexual meaning. I would chuckle, but I felt uneasy.
Why do these double entendres come to my mind so easily? Should a Christian mind create them so nimbly?
I remembered that the Bible said that such things shouldn’t even be mentioned among the saints. I’m worse…I even laugh at them!
And my eyes? They were ravenous heat-seekers searching the horizon, locking on any target with sensual heat. Young mothers leaning over in shorts to pull children out of car seats. Soloists with silky shirts. Summer dresses with décolletage.
My mind, too, ran wherever it willed. This had begun in my childhood when I found Playboy magazines under Dad’s bed. He also subscribed to From Sex to Sexty, a publication filled with jokes and comic strips with sexual themes. When dad divorced Mom and moved to his “bachelor’s pad,” he hung a giant velvet nude in his living room, overlooking us as we played cards on my Sunday afternoon visits.
Dad gave me a list of chores around his place when I was there. Once I came across a nude photo of his mistress. On another occasion I found an eight-inch ceramic dildo, which he obviously used in his kinky “sex games.”

All this sexual stuff churned deep inside me, destroying purity that wouldn’t return for many years. Settling into college, I soon found myself drowning in pornography. I actually memorized the dates when my favorite soft-core porn magazines arrived at the local drugstore. I especially loved the “Girls Next Door” section of the Gallery magazine, featuring pictures of nude girls taken by their boyfriends and submitted to the magazine.
Far from home and without any Christian underpinnings, I descended by small steps into a sexual pit. The first time I had sexual intercourse, it was with a girl I knew I would marry. The next time, it was with a girl I thought I would marry. The time after that, it was with a good friend that I might learn to love. Then it was with a female I barely knew who simply wanted to see what sex was like. Eventually, I had sex with anyone at any time.
After five years in California, I found myself with four “steady” girlfriends simultaneously. I was sleeping with three of them and was essentially engaged to marry two of them. None knew of the others. (These days, in my class for premarital couples, I often ask the women what they would think of a man with two fiancées. My favorite response: “He’s a hopeless pig!” And I was hopeless, living in a pigsty.)
Why do I share all this?
First, so you’ll know that I understand what it’s like to be sexually ensnared in a deep pit. Second, I want to provide you with hope. As you’ll soon see, God worked with me and lifted me out of that pit.
If there’s even a hint of sexual immorality in your life, He will work with you as well.
paying the price

Despite the deepening pit I occupied in my single days, I didn’t notice anything wrong with my life. Oh, sure, I attended church sporadically, and from time to time the pastor’s words penetrated my heart. But who was he? Besides, I loved my girlfriends. No one’s getting hurt, I reasoned.
My dad had eventually remarried, and when I visited back home in Iowa, my stepmother occasionally dragged me across the river to the Moline Gospel Temple in Moline, Illinois. The gospel was clearly preached, but to me the whole scene was clearly ludicrous. I often laughed cynically. Those people are crazy!
After graduating from Stanford University with an honors degree in sociology, I decided to take a job in the San Francisco area as an investment advisor. One spring day in May, I stayed late at the office. Everyone else had gone home, leaving me alone with some troubling thoughts. I swiveled my chair around and propped my feet on the credenza to gaze into a typically grand California sunset.
That evening, as the sun dipped beneath the horizon, I suddenly saw in full clarity what I had become. What I saw was hopelessly ugly. Where once I was blind, now I could see. Instantly, I saw my deep, deep need for a Savior. Because of the Moline Gospel Temple, I knew Whom to call upon.
My prayer that day was born out of the simplicity of a certain heart. “Lord, I’m ready to work with You if You’re ready to work with me.”
I stood up and walked out of the office, not yet fully realizing what I’d just done. But God knew, and it seemed as if all heaven moved into my life. Within two weeks I had a job back in Iowa and a new life ahead of me. And no girlfriends!

Back in Iowa, I began attending a marriage class led by Joel Budd, the associate pastor of my new church. It wasn’t long before I realized that I knew nothing about treating women properly. Perhaps it was because my mom and dad were divorced, and I never saw a loving relationship modeled at home. More likely, however, it was because of my own selfishness and sexual sin. Everything I knew about women came from one-night stands and casual dating relationships.
I didn’t date during that year under Joel’s teaching. I might have been the only man in history to attend a married couples’ class for a whole year without even having so much as a single date! But just before the twelve-month mark, I prayed this prayer: “Lord, I’ve been in this class for a year and have learned a lot about women, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen these things in real life. I’ve never really known any Christian girls. Please show me a woman who embodies these godly characteristics.”
I wasn’t asking for a date, girlfriend, or spouse. I just wanted to see these teachings in practice, in real life, that I might understand them better.
God did far more than that. One week later, He introduced me to my future wife, Brenda, and we fell in love.
Out of our commitment to Christ, Brenda and I decided to stay pure before marriage. She was a virgin–and I wished I were. We did kiss, however, and whoa! Our lip smacking was wonderful! It was my first experience of something I would later discover far more deeply: the physically gratifying payoff that comes from obedience to God’s sexual standards.
In a song made popular during my senior year in college, the singer mourned about trying to remember how it used to feel when a kiss was something special. The lyrics from the song resonated sadly with me because, at that point in my life, a kiss meant nothing to me. It was a joyless prerequisite on the path to intercourse. Something was deeply wrong.
But now, having cut way back, in my experience with Brenda the simple kiss became thrilling again. To an old sex-hog like me, this was totally unexpected.
As God continued to work in my life, Brenda and I married, honeymooned in Colorado, then settled into a new apartment building on the edge of a cornfield in a Des Moines suburb. Is this heaven? I surely thought so.
Time passed, and at first, I was feeling good. While I was once engaged to two women at the same time, I was now happily married to one woman. While once drowned in pornography, since my wedding day I hadn’t purchased a pornographic magazine. Given my track record, this was remarkable.


I threw myself into my sales career and my leadership roles at church. Then I became a dad. I relished it all, and my Christian image shined brighter and brighter.
By worldly standards, I was doing great. Just one little problem. By God’s standard of sexual purity, I wasn’t even close to living His vision for marriage. Clearly I’d taken steps toward purity, but I was learning that God’s standards were higher that I’d ever imagined and that my Father had higher hopes for me that I had dreamed.
It soon became clear that I’d stopped far short of holiness. There were the ad inserts, the double entendres, the heat-seeking eyes. My mind continued to daydream and fantasize over old girlfriends. These were more than a hint of sexual immorality.
I was paying the price, and the bills were piling up. First, I could never look God in the eye. I could never fully worship Him. Because I dreamed of being with other women, and rather enjoyed mentally recalling past sexual conquests, I knew I was a hypocrite, and I continued feeling distant from God.
People around me disagreed, saying, “Oh, come on! Nobody can control their eyes and mind, for heaven’s sakes! God loves you! It must be something else.” But I knew differently.
My prayer life was feeble. Once my son was very sick and had to be rushed to the emergency room. Did I rush into prayer? No, I could only rush others to pray for me. “Have you called our pastor to pray?” I asked Brenda. “Have you called Ron? Have you called Red to pray?” I had no faith in my own prayers because of my sin.
My faith was weak in other ways as well. As a full-commission sales person, if I lost a number of deals in a row to the competition, I could never be sure if those setbacks weren’t somehow caused by my sin. I had no peace.
I was paying a price for my sin.
My marriage was suffering as well. Because of my sin, I couldn’t commit 100 percent to Brenda out of fear that she might dump me later. That cost Brenda in closeness. But that’s not all. Brenda told me she was experiencing frightening dreams in which she was being chased by Satan. Was my immorality causing spiritual protection to be taken away from her?
My wife was paying a price.
At church, I was an empty suit. I came to church desperately needing ministry and forgiveness. I never arrived ready to minister to others. Of course my prayers were no more effective in God’s house than anywhere else.
My church was paying a price.
I remember listening to one sermon in which the pastor talked about “generational sin”–patterns of sin passed from father to son (Exodus 34:7). Sitting in my pew, I recalled that my grandfather had run off from his wife in the middle of the Great Depression, leaving her with six kids to raise. My father left his family to pursue multiple sexual affairs. That same pattern had been passed to me, proven by my own multiple affairs in college. Though saved, I now found that I still didn’t have this purity issue settled in my life, and I was scared by the thought of passing this pattern on to my kids.
My children could be paying a price.
I finally made the connection between my sexual immorality and my distance from God. I was paying hefty fines in every area of my life. Having eliminated the visible adulteries and pornography, I looked pure on the outside to everyone else. But to God, I’d stopped short. I’d merely found a middle ground, somewhere between paganism and obedience to God’s standard.

God desired more for me. He had freed me from the pit, but I’d stopped moving toward Him. Having seen the prices I paid and my distance from God, I decided it was time to move closer.
I expected the journey to be easy. After all, I had decided to eliminate pornography and affairs, and they were gone. I figured I could stop the rest of this sexual junk just as easily.
But I couldn’t. Every week I said I wouldn’t look at those ad inserts, about every Sunday morning the striking photos compelled me. Every week I’d vow to avoid watching R-rated “sexy” movies when I traveled, but every week I’d fail, sweating out tough battles and always losing. Every time I gazed at some glistening jogger, I’d promise to never do it again. But I always did.
What I’d done was simply trade the pornography of Playboy and Gallery for the pornography of ad inserts and other magazine ads. The affairs? I’d simply traded the physical liaisons for mental affairs and daydreams–affairs of the eyes and heart. The sin remained because I’d never really changed, never rejected sexual sin, never escaped sexual slavery. I’d merely exchanged masters.
A couple of months slipped by, then a couple of years. The distance from God grew wider, the bills stacked higher, and my impurity still ruled me. My faith waned further with each failure. Each desperate loss caused more desperation. While I could always say no, I could never mean no.
Something was gripping me, something relentless, something mean.
Like Steve, I eventually found total freedom. Since then, both Steve and I have had the chance to talk to men ensnared in sensual pits. Trapped and desperate to be free, their stories grip the heart. Now that you’ve heard my story, maybe you’ll relate to the men in these next few pages as well.

Table of Contents


Acknowledgments …………………………………………………………………………………………........... ix

Introduction ………………………………………………………………………………………........... 1

Part I: Where Are We?
1Our Stories ……………………………………………………………………….. 9
2Paying the Price ………………………………………………………………….. 15
3Addiction? Or Something Else? …………………………………………………. 21

Part II: How We Got Here
4Mixing Standards ………………………………………………………………… 39
5Obedience or Mere Excellence? …………………………………………………. 49
6Just by Being Male ………………………………………………………………. 61
7Choosing True Manhood ………………………………………………………… 71

Part III: Choosing Victory
8The Time to Decide ……………………………………………………………… 83
9Regaining What Was Lost ……………………………………………………….. 93
10Your Battle Plan …………………………………………………………………. 103

Part IV: Victory with Your Eyes
11Bouncing the Eyes ……………………………………………………………… 125
12Starving the Eyes ……………………………………………………………….. 133
13Your Sword and Shield …………………………………………………………. 141

Part V: Victory with Your Mind
14Your Mustang Mind …………………………………………………………….. 153
15Approaching Your Corral ……………………………………………………….. 169
16Inside Your Corral ………………………………………………………………. 175

Part VI: Victory in Your Heart
17Cherishing Your One and Only ………………………………………………….. 187
18Carry the Honor! …………………………………………………………………. 199

Study and Discussion Guide ……………………………………………………………….. 211

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See All Customer Reviews

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 80 reviews.
Nag_Reader More than 1 year ago
I have struggled in the area of my flesh and this book fueled that with the details it gave. If you are struggling with your thinking a lot then this book is not for you. I would highly recommend Joshua Harris's "Sex is Not the Problem (Lust Is) You can help people without going into details. This book is like taking a person struggling with drinking right into a bar and describing the scene.
ReformedScribe More than 1 year ago
This was a book I have read before but one that I really wanted to review for several reasons. First, due to the over stimulation of sexuality in our culture there is nothing more prominent or accessible than sex. When we consider that of all those things a man may be driven by in his life, sex is right there on the top of the list. Secondly, as a pastor I am always looking for spiritual helps in my endeavors to biblically adjust the powerful, fleshly drive shafts of humanity. This book was refreshing in that these authors have a personal history with the sexual issues they write about (and that most men deal with), but even more so in that they found victory over these struggles. The approach is Bible based, so those wanting a more humanist or philosophical approach (non-religious) to "curbing" the sexual appetite will not find what they are looking for here. They present biblical examples of men who disciplined their eyes and hearts. They give insights step by step concerning the sexual based sins and often times these "little" insights find themselves as "crucial" insights to those sexual based sins that have been so hard to break. There is also a workbook section in the back that I found helpful as a great review and reminder of the steps needed to be taken in my own life to ensure a victory over the battle of sexual temptation. This would be a help for a group leader who would lead a study of this book. The only negative that I had toward the book was that I felt an over-emphasis of the individual in the battle over sexual temptations. Due to my theological position and understanding several statements made me a little uncomfortable especially in the chapters titled, 'Choosing True Manhood' and 'The Time to Decide'. I felt, was laid too heavily on the powerless individual to somehow show power from within his sin-struck heart in breaking what he could not otherwise break. On this I would just like to counter with Phil. 2:13, "For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to will and to act for His good purpose" (HCSB). I think the authors should have rested on the biblical reality that by God's Spirit in you and the Power of the Word before you, that obedience to both will prove that the victory is waiting for you. This is not to say that they don't make the effort to say this, they do. I just felt that the man who is all bound up in sexual captivity is going to wonder in what way is he ever going to start this whole unraveling process. He's bound up tight in it. In spite of my little, quirky, theological ought against its tone, the book was a tremendous enlightenment and encouragement. The book measures 8 in. long X 5 3/8 in. wide X 5/8 in. thick. It has a very attractive paper cover. The pages are made of the "newspaper" gray stuff. The text type is very readable, while the text size was about size 8 or 9 in my estimation. I would definitely recommend and use this book in my counseling, and teaching. I would say that this is a must read for every Christian man. I was hindered in going into too much detail due to the graphic nature of the book, but if a Christian man would trust the judgment and insight of another Christian man, then I tell him get it and read it. Mothers, wives, girlfriends, this would be a great gift to your beloved man (men.if you're a mother).
Jonny87 More than 1 year ago
This book is amazing!!! It literaly saved my life. Before I read this book I struggled with sexual purity. I did not know what God expected of me as a man. After reading this book I fully understood his plan. My mind and soul was sent in His direction and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I know can be the man that God intends me to be. I would recommend all men to purchase this book and read it with the motivation to be loyal to yourself and to God.
AreteCenturion More than 1 year ago
This is not a book for the 'super spiritual' this is for the rest of us that must face the brutal facts of reality on a daily basis. I have yet to encounter any man who can not identify with something in this, it is truely Every Man's Battle and I would also encourage women to seek to gain a better understanding of what their men deal with.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Women should read this book before they embark on a serious relationship. It is helpful in understanding the temptation that men face and their shame in discussing it. I certainly wish I had read it before my marriage was shattered by infidelity via pornography, strip clubs and massage parlors...all very clandestine and secret avenues for sexual sin. A great gift for new husbands and husbands to be.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I just finished reading this book and I found it absolutely amazing. Dealing with a sexual struggle for a long time, I now feel I have the power to finally defeat it. This book just made me feel so relieved that so many men deal with my same battles and I now have gone the longest ever without giving into to sexual temptation. If you believe that any part of you is being brought down by sexual things in your life, this book is a must read. Every man really should pick this up!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a great tool for any man who wants a closer relationship with God, a healthier relationship with the women in his life, and the peace of mind that comes from living a productive life outside of the snares of sensuality.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I haven't finished the book yet, but it is an awesome book & an excellent resource on sexual temptation. The Authors recognize the fact that men need to fight this battle & win the war on sexual temptation. I appreciate the stories these authors have shared, and they have all done a great job at giving the men many helpful ideas and Biblical counsel on how to overcome sexual temptation. If you are struggling in this area of Sexual Temptation, or know someone who is struggling in this area of Sexual Temptation, I would encourage you to get a copy of this book. This will change your life.
steve8a More than 1 year ago
Straight forward talk about a difficult topic. Practical, spiritual, biblical based help for overcoming our sinful nature.
The-Little-Man-in-China More than 1 year ago
This was a difficult book to review. The subject matter of Every Man's Battle is that of lust and the enslavement to which it inevitably leads men, and few writers can share in such vivid detail their own personal struggles and failures in this area so publicly. I personally lack the fortitude (or perhaps the motivation) to do so publicly, but Arteburn and Stoeker press on with sharing their own journeys through the valleys of sexual sin, and they do so with great honesty and tact. Ever since this book's release in 2000, I have desired to read it, just not enough to put my money down and, by doing so, admit that I had a problem with lust. Like many of the men depicted in the book, I had simply thought that time would heal all wounds; that maturity would squelch the addiction; that marriage would satisfy my every craving. And like all of the men depicted in the book (and like "every man" in the world otherwise, I suppose), I was also deceived. The authors of Battle succeed in pointing out the obvious sinfulness of every man's battle with lust, as well as in pointing out the not-so-obvious pitfalls we men tend to jump into. We claim that our struggles are just part of being male and, thus, not at all sinful. We tend to justify our cravings (and our acting on those cravings through fantasy, masturbation and possibly even adultery) by blaming our wives for being selfish or the world for being too vulgar. We shift the blame and minimize our sin continuously, and all the while we break God's commandments and break our wives hearts. True, comes from our being man: but it comes because we are sinful me, not godly men. If you desire true victory in this all-too-dangerous area of lust, you need to look no further than the example of Jesus Christ, "Who was tempted in every way that we are, but did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15, GNB). But if you need extra help in understanding just how this was possible for Christ and how this can be possible for you as well, then I encourage you to pick up Every Man's Battle. It can be a life-altering book, if you let. Give it a try and find out what freedom in Christ really means (Galatians 5:1). [Note: I received this book free through the Waterbrook-Multnomah Blogging for Books program] © 2010 E.T.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book proved enormously helpful in my life long struggle with my desire for sex with other men. Using many of the techniques outlined in the book I have managed to limit my experiences with other men, while maintaing and celebrating a healthy realtionship to my own desire
Guest More than 1 year ago
I have read this book twice and plan on reading it again a third time. It is an excellent book for those struggling with sexual temptation. I have used the principles outlined in this book with great success! I highly recommend this book!
Guest More than 1 year ago
'Bouncing' works!! I read this book in the spring and it has been a wonderful summer. I totally desire and appreciate my wife, and she in return has been a lot more sensual - just like the book describes. It is hard to realize how often we wonder, but focusing on your own relationship is tremendous!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Although the beginning of this book is hard for a woman to read, I highly recommend it for both men and women. It is straightforward and painfully honest, but it truly has answers for the man who may be struggling. The best thing about this book is that it calls men to live by a higher standard (as God intended). As a wife, I find great comfort in the instructions the authors give to men about how to be pure.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an amazing book! We (woman) need to read it to understand the temptations that our husbands have to deal with daily and support them. A MUST read for EVERY MAN!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Awesome book open my eyes - by allowing God's power to work on you, you can overcome.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This book will change your life. If you have battled with sexual tempation, since your were 14, and want the victory, start here. This message is candid, to the point and must be heard.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The book caught my eye in a magazine, I went out and bought it out of curiosity, WOMEN, read this book! Your eyes will be opened and you will aquire understanding way beyond your own imagination! It did my marriage wonders, I handed it to my husband after I read it and he himself was amazed and relieved! Great wisdom and teaching, wish there was a book out for women, to help them understand the battles our men face eveyday! Excellent!!!!Excellent!!!!reading
Guest More than 1 year ago
After so many years of searching for help in this area, I found this book. It is truly a Godsend in the field of sexual temptation. Although the entire book is great, I would recommend skipping to the second section about developing strategies to counter sexual temptation. This is a must read for any man who wants to stay happily married the rest of his life!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Every man needs to read this book and then let his wife read it when he is through. This book will help men deal with being faithful to their wife.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is an excellent book to help us men know that we are not alone when it comes to our attraction to women. Sometimes we feel that the way we react/feel is all us. Well this book gives some real life insight into the reality that all men share similar feelings that we keep deep inside of us. This was a real awakening for me... and may be for you to.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Sometimes you may think you are alone in the way you react or feel towards women down deep within yourself. This book reveals just about every man's challenge in dealing with the opposite sex. You don't have to think of yourself as a 'pervert' or 'addict' because of how you feel... This book will give you new understanding of why we do the things we do... and how to overcome them. Practical, shared experiences make it good reading.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I found this book while browsing in a Christian bookstore. Regardless of where you think you are on the issue of sexual purity, you can learn from this book. It will open your eyes and strengthen your marriage.
Guest More than 1 year ago
While listening to THE WORD 94.9, I heard one of the radio announcers mention this book that he said would be a blessing to the reader. I purchased the book, and it has made all the difference in my life. If you or someone you know has a problem with sexual immorality (roaming eyes, fantisizing, masturbation, pornography, adultury, etc.) this book is a must read. The author(s) give personal accounts of how they overcame their own out-of-control sexual desires. If you feel you are a slave to sin and sex, you no longer have to be. From a biblical and 'REAL' perspective, learn how you can overcome your sexual perversion and give your mate the true gift of love, honor, respect, and admiration. Also, learn how to love unconditionally and eternally.
nesum on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I think there is a detency in Christianity to only talk about the sins that affect other people and not "us." Abortion, homosexuality, and the like get sermon after sermon. We even get lectures on smoking, which the Bible does not speak about at all. Meanwhile, other struggles are kept in the dark out of embarrassment. Lust and pornography run rampant in the Church, and whenever someone talks about them, they are hushed down.This book takes on the subject head on and without apology. It's about time! The authors give a very clear and good explanation of what the problem is, and some ideas to deal with it.This book is a must read for anyone who struggled with sexual temptation (as in, all the men and half of the women).