The Faith Club: A Muslim, a Christian, a Jew--Three Women Search for Understanding

by Ranya Idliby, Suzanne Oliver, Priscilla Warner

Overview

A groundbreaking book about Americans searching for faith and mutual respect, The Faith Club weaves the story of three women, their three religions, and their urgent quest to understand one another.

When an American Muslim woman befriends two other mothers, one Jewish and one Christian, they decide to educate their children about their respective religions. None of them guessed their regular meetings would provide life-changing answers and form bonds that would forever alter their struggles with prejudice, fear, and anger. Personal, powerful, and compelling, The Faith Club forces readers to face the tough questions about their own religions.

Pioneering, timely, deeply thoughtful, and full of hope, The Faith Club’s caring message will resonate with people of all faiths.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780743290487
Publisher:	Atria Books
Publication date:	06/05/2007
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	416
Sales rank:	195,946
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.44(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Ranya Idliby was raised in Dubai and McLean, Virginia. She holds a bachelor of science from Georgetown University's School of Foreign Service, and earned her MS in international relations from the London School of Economics. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

Suzanne Oliver was raised in Kansas City, Missouri, and has worked as a writer and editor at Forbes and Financial World magazines. She graduated from Texas Christian University and lives in New York City and Jaffrey Center, New Hampshire, with her husband and three children.

Priscilla Warner grew up in Providence, Rhode Island, graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, and spent many years in Boston and New York as an advertising art director, shooting ads for everything from English muffins to diamond earrings. Priscilla co-authored The New York Times bestselling memoir The Faith Club, then toured the country for three years, hyperventilating her way through an extended book tour. Finally, in the skies over Oklahoma, she vowed to find her inner monk, and began meditating her way from panic to peace.

Read an Excerpt

Preface

Meet the Faith Club. We're three mothers from three faiths — Islam, Christianity, and Judaism — who got together to write a picture book for our children that would highlight the connections between our religions. But no sooner had we started talking about our beliefs and how to explain them to our children than our differences led to misunderstandings. Our project nearly fell apart.

We realized that before we could talk about what united us we had to confront what divided us in matters of faith, God, and religion. We had to reveal our own worst fears, prejudices, and stereotypes.

So we made a commitment to meet regularly. We talked in our living rooms over cups of jasmine tea and bars of dark chocolate. No question was deemed inappropriate, no matter how rude or politically incorrect. We taped our conversations and kept journals as we discussed everything from jihad to Jesus, heaven to holy texts. Somewhere along the way, our moments of conflict, frustration, and anger gave way to new understanding and great respect.

Now we invite you into our Faith Club to eavesdrop on our conversations. Come into our living rooms and share our life-altering experience. Perhaps when you're finished, you will want to have a faith club of your own.

Copyright © 2006 by Ranya Idliby, Suzanne Oliver, and Priscilla Warner

Table of Contents

Contents

Preface

CHAPTER ONE In the Beginning

CHAPTER TWO A Muslim, a Christian, and a Jew Walk into a Room . . .

CHAPTER THREE The Abrahamic Family Feud

CHAPTER FOUR The Crucifixion Crisis

CHAPTER FIVE Stop Stereotyping Me!

CHAPTER SIX Could You Convert?

CHAPTER SEVEN Oh, Where Are You, God?

CHAPTER EIGHT Ranya's Madrassah

CHAPTER NINE The Promised Land

CHAPTER TEN Prayer

CHAPTER ELEVEN Rituals

CHAPTER TWELVE Intimations of Mortality

CHAPTER THIRTEEN Conversations with a Priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi

CHAPTER FOURTEEN A Day of Atonement

CHAPTER FIFTEEN Happy Holidays

CHAPTER SIXTEEN Facing Our Communities

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Awakenings

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Faltering Faith

CHAPTER NINETEEN From Here to Eternity

How to Start a Faith Club

More Faith Club Questions

Bibliography

Acknowledgments

Reading Group Guide

The Faith Club
Ranya Idliby, Suzanne Oliver, and Priscilla Warner

Questions and Topics For Discussion

1. How did the book’s format (a three-way memoir written in first person) contribute to the overall feel of the book? At what points did the women write different versions of the same event? (One specific example can be found when Ranya confronts Priscilla about the Israel/Palestinian conflict, pages 129–138.) How does each woman’s individual prejudices and religion color her interpretations of the discussions?

1. How does each woman’s role as a mother influence the direction and tone of the Faith Club? Would the club have been different if it included both mothers and women with no children? How did the children play a role in the challenges to each woman’s faith?

1. To which woman did you most relate, and why? Was it the one you expected to when you began the book? If you identified with one of the women because you share her religious beliefs, did you agree with her presentation of your faith? What did you disagree with, and why?

1. Much of the first half of the book deals with Suzanne’s and Priscilla’s struggles to define anti-Semitism and to confront their prejudices about the other’s faith. Did you feel that Ranya was unfairly relegated to the role of “mediator” (p. 46), or did she welcome it? “For months, I had to bide my time patiently” (p. 126). Why do you think Ranya waited to bring up her own struggles with Suzanne’s and Priscilla’s faiths?

1. On page 106, Ranya says, “The more that science unravels about the wonders of life and the universe, the more I am in awe of it.” Do you think this combination of science and faith is realistic, or must one ultimately take precedence over the other?

1. Suzanne’s first sentence speaks of the “cozy, homogeneous community” at her Episcopal church. What is Priscilla’s “comfort zone”? What is Ranya’s? How does each woman step out of her individual cozy and homogeneous comfort zone, and in what ways does each of them remain there?

1. On page 147, Priscilla wonders if worrying is “a form of gratefulness.” What do you think she means by this? Does Priscilla’s worry ultimately strengthen her faith? How does each woman show gratitude in her life and in her faith?

1. On page 204, Craig Townsend tells Suzanne, “The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s certainty.” What does he mean by this? Is doubt necessary for true faith?

1. In Chapter 12, “Intimations of Mortality,” the women discuss their differing views about death and the afterlife. Which understanding of death was most comforting to you? Which image of the afterlife was most comforting? Are they from the same religion?

1. When Priscilla confronts Suzanne about her confession that she was uncomfortable being mistaken for a Jew, Ranya says, “She wouldn’t want to be a Muslim either.” Do you agree? Why or why not? Is Suzanne’s discomfort an inevitable result of being a member of the majority, of “not [being] forced to accommodate [herself] to the culture, religion, or even friendship of minorities”?

1. Ranya provides a vivid description of her own method of prayer on page 175: “My prayer is essentially a form of meditation in which I singularly apply my limited human physical capacity to try to connect with that omnipresent universal unknown force: God.” (Suzanne’s description of her prayer is on page 162; Priscilla’s is on page 175.) How is each woman’s method of prayer different? How is it similar? How do Suzanne’s, Ranya’s, and Priscilla’s prayer styles reflect the differences and similarities in their childhoods?

Introduction

Reading Group Guide

Summary

The Faith Club was started when Ranya Idliby, an American Muslim of Palestinian descent, recruited Suzanne Oliver, a Christian, and Priscilla Warner, a Jew, to write a children's book about their three religions. As the women's meetings began, it became clear that they had their own adult struggles with faith and religion, and they needed a safe haven where they could air their concerns, admit their ignorance, and explore their own faiths.

Ranya, Suzanne, and Priscilla began to meet regularly to discuss their religious backgrounds and beliefs and to ask each other tough questions. As the three women met and talked, there were no awkward silences — no stretches of time with nothing for them to say to each other. Honesty was the first rule of the Faith Club, and with that tenet as a foundation, no topic was off limits.

With courage, pain, and sometimes tears, Ranya, Suzanne, and Priscilla found themselves completely transformed by their experience inside the safe cocoon of the Faith Club, and they realized that they had learned things so powerful they wanted to share them with the rest of the world. This is their story.

General Questions

1. How did the book's format (a three-way memoir written in first person) contribute to the overall feel of the book? At what points did the women write different versions of the same event? (One specific example can be found when Ranya confronts Priscilla about the Israel/Palestinian conflict, pages 129-138.) How does each woman's individual prejudices and religion color her interpretations of the discussions?
2. How does each woman's role as amother influence the direction and tone of the Faith Club? Would the club have been different if it included both mothers and women with no children? How did the children play a role in the challenges to each woman's faith?
3. To which woman did you most relate, and why? Was it the one you expected to when you began the book? If you identified with one of the women because you share her religious beliefs, did you agree with her presentation of your faith? What did you disagree with, and why?
4. Much of the first half of the book deals with Suzanne's and Priscilla's struggles to define anti-Semitism and to confront their prejudices about the other's faith. Did you feel that Ranya was unfairly relegated to the role of "mediator" (p. 46), or did she welcome it? "For months, I had to bide my time patiently" (p. 126). Why do you think Ranya waited to bring up her own struggles with Suzanne's and Priscilla's faiths?
5. On page 106, Ranya says, "The more that science unravels about the wonders of life and the universe, the more I am in awe of it." Do you think this combination of science and faith is realistic, or must one ultimately take precedence over the other?
6. Suzanne's first sentence speaks of the "cozy, homogeneous community" at her Episcopal church. What is Priscilla's "comfort zone"? What is Ranya's? How does each woman step out of her individual cozy and homogeneous comfort zone, and in what ways does each of them remain there?
7. On page 147, Priscilla wonders if worrying is "a form of gratefulness." What do you think she means by this? Does Priscilla's worry ultimately strengthen her faith? How does each woman show gratitude in her life and in her faith?
8. On page 204, Craig Townsend tells Suzanne, "The opposite of faith is not doubt, it's certainty." What does he mean by this? Is doubt necessary for true faith?
9. In Chapter 12, "Intimations of Mortality," the women discuss their differing views about death and the afterlife. Which understanding of death was most comforting to you? Which image of the afterlife was most comforting? Are they from the same religion?
10. When Priscilla confronts Suzanne about her confession that she was uncomfortable being mistaken for a Jew, Ranya says, "She wouldn't want to be a Muslim either." Do you agree? Why or why not? Is Suzanne's discomfort an inevitable result of being a member of the majority, of "not [being] forced to accommodate [herself] to the culture, religion, or even friendship of minorities"?
11. Ranya provides a vivid description of her own method of prayer on page 175: "My prayer is essentially a form of meditation in which I singularly apply my limited human physical capacity to try to connect with that omnipresent universal unknown force: God." (Suzanne's description of her prayer is on page 162; Priscilla's is on page 175.) How is each woman's method of prayer different? How is it similar? How do Suzanne's, Ranya's, and Priscilla's prayer styles reflect the differences and similarities in their childhoods?

Activities

1. Before the meeting, visit the authors' website, www.thefaithclub.com, to explore viewpoints about your own and others' faiths. Use the Faith Club Guide in the back of the book to suggest journaling topics; have each member select a topic and bring in questions and reflections to share with the group.
2. During the meeting, serve some of the food that Priscilla, Ranya, and Suzanne served at many of their Faith Club meetings. For example, you could serve hot chocolate and jasmine tea to your guests. And don't forget Priscilla's favorite — a variety of chocolate bars for a special treat!
3. An important aspect of the authors' Faith Club is their visits to each other's places of worship. Schedule a weekend visit to your local mosque, synagogue, and church. If you can, set up a discussion with the imam, rabbi, or priest.

Editorial Reviews

"Millions of Americans crave a way to have interfaith conversation but have no idea where to begin. This book is a great place to start. The authors have set a path that many more will want to follow." — Bruce Feiler, author of Walking the Bible and Where God Was Born

"More Fight Club than book club, the coauthors pull no punches; their outstanding honesty makes for a page-turning read, rare for a religion nonfiction book...almost every taboo topic is explored on this engaging spiritual ride." — Publishers Weekly

From the Publisher

At first, it seemed like a good idea. In the wake of September 11, 2001, American Muslim Ranya Idliby contacted a Christian woman (Suzanne Oliver) and a Jewish woman (Priscilla Warner), proposing that the three of them write a children's book on the commonalities of these major religious traditions. Almost from the start, their "faith club" meetings devolved into wrangling; as one reviewer put it, "more Fight Club than book club." The three women argued with each other and also with themselves; even faith itself was brought into question. Through sheer stubbornness, the women continued their sessions, candidly tackling their own and each other's stereotypes, misconceptions, and deep beliefs. The Faith Club stands as a monument to their persistence, a testament to their faiths, and evidence of the difficulties that lay ahead.

The dialogue among the three friends comes across as genuine and thoughtful. They try valiantly to be frank with one another, which becomes easier as they learn to trust one another's motives and to respect each other's integrity…The conversations recorded in this book engage our attention as the women search out spiritual values common to all the three faiths and learn more about their own in the process.
—The Washington Post

Naomi Harris Rosenblatt

In the wake of 9/11, Idliby, an American Muslim of Palestinian descent, sought out fellow mothers of the Jewish and Christian faiths to write a children's book on the commonalities among their respective traditions. In their first meeting, however, the women realized they would have to address their differences first. Oliver, an Episcopalian who was raised Catholic, irked Warner, a Jewish woman and children's author, with her description of the Crucifixion story, which sounded too much like "Jews killed Jesus" for Warner's taste. Idliby's efforts to join in on the usual "Judeo-Christian" debate tap into a sense of alienation she already feels in the larger Muslim community, where she is unable to find a progressive mosque that reflects her non-veil-wearing, spiritual Islam. The ladies come to call their group a "faith club" and, over time, midwife each other into stronger belief in their own respective religions. More Fight Club than book club, the coauthors pull no punches; their outstanding honesty makes for a page-turning read, rare for a religion nonfiction book. From Idliby's graphic defense of the Palestinian cause, Oliver's vacillations between faith and doubt, and Warner's struggles to acknowledge God's existence, almost every taboo topic is explored on this engaging spiritual ride. (Oct. 3) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Publishers Weekly

In writing a children's book highlighting the commonalities among the Abrahamic religions, Idliby, an American Muslim of Palestinian descent, sought Christian and Jewish collaborators. She was joined by Episcopalian-turned-Catholic Suzanne Oliver and Jewish children's book writer Warner, who both came to realize they needed to deal with their own questions, stereotypes, and concerns before starting the book. After several meetings, the trio's relationship and project seemed in jeopardy, but they painstakingly worked through their differences, accompanying one another at significant times to each of their places of worship, reading one another's Scripture, and supporting one another's doubts and fears. In the process, the women developed a strong bond that strengthened the way each practiced her own religion and moved them all toward deeper commitment to interfaith dialog, to justice, and to one another. This book, which concludes with suggestions to readers for forming their own Faith Club and includes sample questions for thought, is a documentation of Idliby, Oliver, and Warner's discussions, debates, and reflections. The world needs this book or others very similar! Highly recommended for all libraries.-Carolyn M. Craft, formerly with Longwood Univ., Farmville, VA Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

Three mothers' engaging account of their interfaith dialogue. At first glance, the authors don't seem to have much in common. Idliby is a Muslim of Palestinian descent; Warner is a Reform Jew; Oliver grew up Catholic but was drawn to the more liberal Episcopal Church as an adult. Beneath those differences lie some important similarities: All three are mothers who want to teach their children religious tolerance, and each places great stock in her religious identity. In order to learn about the religious traditions of their neighbors, the authors came together to form a "faith club," meeting regularly to discuss prayer and ritual, their beliefs about God and the relationship between spirituality and social justice. They never shy away from potentially explosive topics, such as the way that Christian descriptions of Jesus' crucifixion have been used to provoke anti-Jewish violence, or the question of whether people can criticize Israeli policy without being accused of anti-Semitism. Over time, the women's religious commitments evolved: Idliby, who had felt spiritually homeless, found a community of like-minded progressive American Muslims; Oliver began to question some of her commitments to classic Christian doctrine; and Warner became more comfortable praying to and talking about God. The three charming narrators transform potentially dry theological discourses into personal, intimate heart-to-hearts. For readers who wish they could pull up a chair and join Idliby, Oliver and Warner in their chats, the concluding chapter explains how to form your own faith club. The only weakness here is that all three authors represent decidedly liberal expressions of their religions. The conversationswould have been even more interesting, albeit considerably more fraught, had they included an evangelical Christian or an Orthodox Jew or a Muslim woman who wears hijab. An invitation to discussion that's hard to turn down-and a natural for book groups.

Kirkus Reviews