Fast Funny Women: 75 Essays of Flash Nonfiction

by Gina Barreca

Overview

Winner, 2021 Foreword INDIES award

"Every man should read this book.” —Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank You for Arguing

75 women writers, ages 20 to 89, were invited by editor Gina Barreca to make a party out of their life’s most unnerving, challenging, illuminating, desperate, and hilarious moments. You know many of these brilliant women, but you’ve never heard them like this! With new works commissioned for the book from:

• Marge Piercy, NYT Bestseller and member of the American Academy of Poets
• Jane Smiley, Pulitzer-Prize winner
• Mimi Pond, NYT bestseller graphic artist
• Liza Donnelly, New Yorker staff cartoonist
• Fay Weldon, Commander of the British Empire
• Ilene Beckerman, bestselling author of Love, Loss, and What I Wore
• Nicole Hollander, Sylvia creator
• Lisa Landry and Leighann Lord, stand-up comics

And many more! Political campaigners, devoted teachers, lousy daughters, good mothers, would-be nuns, admired sportswriters, grad-school-wanna-bes, revenge-driven sisters, frustrated roommates, body-fluid-sorting professionals, lace-loving fashion mavens, intrepid daters, hungry lovers, justice-seeking nasty-women, ACE wedding celebrants, trapped wives, and women with all kinds of ammunition tell their stories—and their stories are all under 750 words.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781949116205
Publisher:	Woodhall Press
Publication date:	03/02/2021
Pages:	220
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

Hailed as “smart and funny” by People, Gina Barreca was deemed a “feminist humor maven” by Ms. She has written for most major publications, including The New York Times, The Chronicle of Higher Education, Cosmopolitan, and The Harvard Business Review. Board of Trustees Distinguished Professor at UCONN as well as winner of its highest award for excellence in teaching, Gina’s written ten books including the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White…but I Drifted.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction She Makes a Story out of Everything xi

How Gumbo Was My Valley Lisa Landry 1

Whole Cloth Mimi Pond 3

Memories of a Boxing Broad Amy Lennard Goehner 6

Making a Girl Jianna Heuer 8

"That Sounds Awful": The Art of Self Care Lily Shell 10

Things to Do During a Blizzard Marge Piercy 12

The Vocation Patricia Russo 13

Smiling with No Teeth Nyanka J. 16

I Never LOST My Virginity Hara Estroff Marano 18

We Have Medicine for That Louisa Ballhaus 20

When Barbie Moved to the Village Susan Shapiro 22

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Caitlin O'Donnell 24

Beauty Fades Judy Sheindlin 26

Ace AF Michelle P. Carter 28

My Loving Sisters Jo-Ann Mapson 30

Sex Points Liza Donnelly 32

Lesson Plans 01-03: On Age Dropping, Botox, and Being an Asian-American Woman at Fifty Darien Hsu Gee 34

How to Remove a Lost Tampon Dawn Lundy Martin 36

Gambling for Tampons Lauren Saalmuller 38

Big Feet Rita Ciresi 40

Obituary Monique Heller 42

Love Language Kari Collins 44

The Hayfield: A Gardener's Tale Suzanne Staubach 46

A Day in the Life Jane Smiley 48

"This is a Green Pear" Kristina Reardon 51

The Blender Ali Oshinskie 53

Stranger Roommates Erica Buehler 55

My First Date … with a Girl Lisa Nic An Bhreithimh 57

Coming to Am-er-ic-a Niamh Emerson 60

Better with Age Jennifer Rizzo 62

Ringing on Ozark Nicole Hollander 65

Anti-Social Media Kristen Mongillo 67

The Podcast Diaries Laura Rossi 70

Who Has the Last Laugh? Ferne Pearlstein 73

Hope and The West Wing Susan Campbell 75

Fred the Aviator Katharine Capshaw 77

I No Longer Want to Bury My Ex; I've Buried the Hatchet Instead Roz Warren 79

Happily Regretful Jennifer Rawlings 82

Vanilla Maggie Mitchell 84

On Being a Contrarian Alison Umminger 87

Her Gifts Rebecca Krefting 89

Just Twirl Loretta Laroche 91

Real Doctor Dr. Mary Lupo 94

Weighing In Jennifer Sager 96

Falling in Love Is Fattening Mollie Kervick 98

No Belly Cynthia Luo 100

Flame of Love Carolyn Dever 102

Free Chance at Happiness Lisa Douglas 104

For Now Kerri Brown 107

The Prince Joyce Saltman 110

Fame Adjacent Lydia Snapper 112

More Than a Pretty Woman Pam Katz 114

Meetings and Greetings Fay Weldon 117

Personal Statement Anna Zarra Aldrich 119

What Does That Word Mean? Amanda Smallhorn 122

Manipulating Man Spreading Nicole Catarino 124

I've Been Sorting the Wrong Shit Mandy Smith-Brasher 126

Close Bonnie Jean Feldkamp 128

Push Comes to Shove Amy Hartl Sherman 131

I Married a Mathematician Joan Seliger Sidney 133

Young Senior Moments Leighann Lord 135

Five Year Renewable Eileen Scully 137

The Nearby Brenda Murphy 139

Girl School Rules Krishna Dolce 141

An Early Lesson in Unconscious Bias Juliet Rix 144

Be Prepared Ilene Beckerman 146

My Perpetual Fear of Water Jessie Lubka 148

Chaos Theory Laurie Cella 150

Footsies Jennifer Larue 152

Reasons Why I'm Giving Up Dating Online Emily Heiden 154

Waste Not Krisela Karaja 156

The Crafting of Doily Lamas Mary Kay Morrison 158

I Apologize for What I Said When I Was Hungry Kate Luongo 160

Outerwear I Have Loved Lavonne Leong 161

The Miserable Snapshot Theory of Life Gina Barreca 163

Contributors 166

Credits 192

About the Editor 193

Editorial Reviews

"Every man should read this book. I learned that nail polish is a form of self-care and that one should not travel overseas with a vibrator in case TSA mistakes it for a bomb. That it’s possible to write a poem to Barbie, or to describe sex as an act where 'people stick their genitals together for no apparent gain.' And I learned much, much more." —Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank You for Arguing

"Like funny women themselves, Fast Funny Women contains multitudes. Barreca — feminist, humorist, teacher and writer — has assembled an impressive group of funny ladies for this book. Their essays peek into classrooms, careers, care packages, and the unique and special hell of online dating. It's a sampler of humor and humanity that will appeal to everyone, no matter their experience." —A.J. O'Connell, author of A Perfect Facebook Life and Beware the Hawk

"With its punchline, the Hollander story is like a stand-up comedian’s joke. Most of the Fast Funny Women essays, however, aren’t so laugh-out-loud. Instead, they tend to be wry takes on the many aspects of life as a modern woman." —Third Coast Review

From the Publisher