Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story

Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story

by Adam Rex
3.6 30

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Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story 3.6 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 30 reviews.
TeensReadToo More than 1 year ago
Attacked by a vampire while out on vacation, Doug has become the latest child of the night. He was changed by a guy from school who could not control himself. He tells people he's been changed by a beautiful vampire bombshell to keep his credibility intact. Doug isn't like the other vampires, though. He's not dark and brooding. He's a nerd. Pale and freckled and overweight, most people think he just has a bad skin condition. When he's not going to conventions dressed as a Klingon or another nerdy character, Doug is trying to woo girls. He still needs to eat, and drinking the blood of a girl is practically having sex with her. Young vampires also need tutors so they can get used to their powers and responsibilities. They are an endangered species, after all, and they need to know how to do things. Despite this, Doug still acts like he did as a human. He goes to comic book conventions with his pals, and he tries to fit in and get a girlfriend. Senjal, an exchange student from India who has the cyber addiction known as `The Google,' doesn't believe in vampires. Doug believes, however, that Senjal will fall for him, even though he isn't exactly smooth. While Doug is cruising and schmoozing and trying to discover what he can do, a defunct television vampire hunter gets wind of some of his mistakes, and he soon begins to track Doug down. How will things turn out with Senjal, and will Doug get staked before he can get a solid girlfriend? This book has a lot going for it. The plot is funny, and for people that are tired of the same vampire novels, it can provide a fun escape. Rex knows how to write funny one-liners and references a lot of cool things, so readers of all ages will get a few chuckles out of him. He also has something to say beyond the funny, and that's a biting satire of the current sparkly savior vampire trend. He's out to prove that vampires are actually jerks. Therein lies the novel's main flaw. Most of the characters are all right. Senjal was a little flat, but most of the other ones were cool. Doug, however, was a real jerk. Some people will find this hilarious and relate with Doug. Others, like this reviewer in particular, will be offended. He makes biting remarks about lots of minority groups, gay people and the like, and it's really frustrating to read that for a long period of time. He teases people about it, and he really isn't a likable person at all. However, this is Rex's point. Doug gets told off for saying insulting things about these people, which at least shows there was reason behind the writing. It doesn't change the fact that some readers will be put off by Doug's attitude. FAT VAMPIRE is an intelligent and witty novel, but the protagonist will bog a lot of readers down. It's a great read if you're looking for satire and cult humor, but you have to deal with one jerk of a protagonist.
OtotheD More than 1 year ago
Doug is having a hard time getting the hang of this whole vampire thing. First of all, he is only about 5'5 and overweight. He'd been meaning to workout and lose some weight, but he was bitten before he could do that, so now he is eternally damned to be forever fat. It's not exactly an ideal situation for a vampire. To make matters worse, he has no idea what he is doing. There's no manual, he has no mentor, and everything that Bram Stoker wrote in Dracula seems to be wrong. He is afraid of turning other people into vampires, so he feeds on cows and other unsuspecting animals. When he and his best friend Jay attend Comic-Con in San Diego, Doug attempts to feed on a panda in the San Diego zoo. Unbeknownst to him, there is a live panda cam recording his attempt. Soon, the video is on YouTube and the people behind a fake reality series titled "Vampire Hunters" get ahold of the footage in hopes of finding their first real vampire and upping their ratings. When Doug returns to school he is immediately smitten with Sejal, the foreign exchange student from India. Sejal has been sent to America by her parents who hope to cure her of "The Google" (an internet afflicted disease). He also runs into his maker and eventually they are introduced to a group of older vampires who agree to mentor them. As the reality TV hounds begin honing in on Doug's location, Doug begins to wonder if he can maybe be cured of his vampirism. He remembers a movie where the newly created vamps were able to kill their maker and return themselves to true human form. But is he ready to go back to being a regular, dorky dude and lose these cool new powers? If he does, will he stand any kind of chance with Sejal? For the most part I really enjoyed Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story. The premise is genius. Doug is the anti-Edward. He and his friend Jay are funny and lovable. Adam Rex's writing is wicked and clever and the characters are all engaging. My only problem with this one was that the storyline seemed to be too big for the length of the book. I felt a lot of plot lines fell flat, some of my favorite characters just disappeared, and some of the scenes felt rushed. Had this book been longer the multiple plots would have had more room to breathe and these characters could have grown more. Still, the book is worth reading, especially if you want a fresh, funny new take on vampires.
Candace Cole More than 1 year ago
great and entertaining
Nikkayme More than 1 year ago
The YA market is inundated with vampire stories, but Fat Vampire really stuck out as something completely different. And it is. For the most part. Doug is vampire and he's fat. He's not the average dark, sexy vampire, but an overweight 15 year old with glasses and few friends. The other kids at school even call him Meatball. The premise sounds hilarious and fun, which it is, for a while. I've seen mixed reviews of the book and I get why. It was good, but not quite as good as I'd hoped. The good stuff: It opens with vampire Doug and his best friend Jay in San Diego to check out Comic-con. Vampires. Comic-con. What more could I ask for? Adam Rex kicks the comedy into high gear for the first third of the book. Doug's vampire troubles, including the inability to attract girls even with his vampireness, are more than amusing. When most people think of vampires, they think sexy and powerful. Doug is neither and that's what makes this story great. Rex's writing is witty and had me cracking up laughing. The not so good: Doug is a teenager, so he's bound to be attracted to girls, but I could not see the allure of Sejal, the foreign exchange student from India. She's nice to him and most girls aren't, so I get that, but her character was just so flat and dull. She even borders on annoying with her whiny 'I have the Google' and her boohooing about Doug liking her. BTW, the Google is a disease/disorder of using the internet and technology so much that your real life pretty much disappears. This love story aspect was boring and carried on for so long. Nothing seems to happen during the entire middle of the book. Doug likes Sejal, Sejal doesn't really like Doug, Jay finds some new friends, Doug starts learning more about vampires, but nothing really happens. The comedy all but disappears and we're left with Doug being quiet and broody (not in any sort of sexy way). Fat Vampire fell into that slump right in the middle. It starts off really strong and funny, then drops into a lull that seems neverending, only to come back to life towards the end. I liked this book, but it wasn't as good as I had hoped and expected from the first few chapters. It's still worth the read though. Opening line: Doug came to, lying on his back in what felt and smelled like a field. ~ pg. 1 Favorite line(s): "He thinks he's a vampire maybe." "I've taken blood from a stormtrooper and a Superman and at least three cartoon characters today," said Kendra. "He can think he's whatever he want, long as he TURNS HIS ASSFERATU AROUND AND PUTS BACK THAT BLOOD." ~ pg. 37
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Truly an "other side of the coin" story. Funny from start to finish.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
NookBookMommy More than 1 year ago
Ehhh.  The concept of the story is original as not many vampire books feature a fat, nerdy teenage boy as the lead character.  The beginning of the book kept me interested and reading.  Toward the middle, the plot and Doug go stale.  I stopped liking Doug and the plot wasn't worth hanging on for.  Not being a quitter, I did skim to the end, which really wasn't worth it.  I'd say if you are bored or get a good discount, you can give it a chance.  Other than that, I wouldn't pick it up expecting an entertaining read.
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BooksWithBite More than 1 year ago
This book was interesting and hilarious. I love how it was written, from a male point of view, which you don't see much. Also it was written by a male author. I knew from the moment I layed eyes on this book that I would enjoy it immensely and that I did. Right from the beginning, you were thrown into this geeky, fat boys world of trying to make it as a fat vampire. I felt for him during his hardships. He struggle in feeding, as well in other areas. I was glad to see he go help through a mentor. Through this he was able to learn more and of course become a better vampire. He also took a chance and finally step up to the plate, becoming the true vampire that he his. But in doing this, his ego went straight to his head and all of the sudden he was "BAD" He end up getting a girlfriend and used her badly. I was disappointed in his choice. While I was glad that he finally came who he was, he made a poor choice in it as well. In the end, Doug hardships paid off. He went off the find he friends attacker, dubbing him my knight and shining armor. I admit that the ending was a little confusing for me. I'm still not sure what to make of it. Mr. Rex, did a great job writing this. The plot, drama and suspense was written perfect. I enjoyed reading each and every page of it. Mr. Rex did a great job capturing the voice of a real teenage boy. I was happy as a reader to get a good insight on the character. Doug was not your typical teenage boy and for that I was grateful to see someone who was not popular, or cute from the start.
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