Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love

Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780801075308
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 04/17/2018
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 92,436
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x (d)

About the Author

Ryan and Selena Frederick created in 2013 when they felt God calling them to share, with brutal transparency, the struggles he had helped them overcome. Since then, has grown into a thriving online community with more than 200,000 unique visitors each month who generate more than 1,000,000 page views. Their social media presence is vibrant and growing, with more than 437,000 active fans and followers. Ryan also owns and manages emg, a marketing and web development company specializing in book launch marketing and programming. Ryan and Selena have two daughters and live in Tacoma, Washington.

Table of Contents

Foreword Gary Thomas 9

Introduction 11

1 Our Swiss Adventure 15

The Early Years

2 Matters of the Heart 33

How the Gospel Revolutionizes Marriage

3 The Magnitude of Covenant 49

The Power and Purpose of Lifelong Commitment

4 Gritty Love 67

It's Everything You Think and More

5 Time and Priorities 89

What Being Christ-Centered Truly Means

6 Communication and Connection 109

Using Your Words to Strengthen Your Marriage

7 Money and Stewardship 131

Gaining Agreement and Creating Vision for Your Finances

8 Intimacy and Sex 153

Experiencing Each Other to the Glory of God

9 Dealing with Discord 185

Ground Rules for Fighting Fair and Growing through Conflict

10 Upward and Outward 211

Why Fighting for Your Marriage Means Fighting for the Future

Acknowledgments 221

Appendix: The Biblical Covenants 223

Notes 235

Customer Reviews

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Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 15 reviews.
Brandon Steenbock More than 1 year ago
I’m sitting down to write this review less than 24 hours after having a rather intense conflict with my wife. It happens now and then. I have a Master’s degree in Family Education, I work with couples all the time, I’ve read dozens of marriage books, and I can tell you all the steps for managing conflict and seeking and granting forgiveness. But when my wife and I fight… Let’s just say we still have a lot to learn. I mention this because it illustrates why I – and you – need to read this book. This morning, still reeling from the turmoil with my bride, I opened up Fierce Marriage to finish the last couple chapters so I could write this review. I was on Chapter 9: “Dealing with Discord.” Go figure. But what I read immediately made me feel better about our fight; in their typical transparency, Ryan and Selena shared about their own conflicts, and what my wife and I had gone through suddenly felt very normal. Normal or not, though, they pulled no punches in exposing the sin that rises in most conflict. They allowed no excuses for pride, hurtful words, and out of control tempers. But with just as much force and clarity, they pointed to the Gospel as the only sure means for properly dealing with conflict. In Jesus, we find every reason to put aside pride, repent of our failures, humbly beg for forgiveness from God and our spouse, and pursue grace and reconciliation. Ryan and Selena (probably without knowing they were doing it) lovingly put me in my place and shared with me the Biblical wisdom and inspiration for repairing my marriage. This is just an example of the power of this book. Fierce Marriage isn’t a theological treatise of what the Bible says about marriage. It isn’t a how-to manual with step-by-step instructions for couples. It isn’t the story of how one couple does married life. It isn’t an expanded research paper about behaviors for marital success. Those are all components of the book, but the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It is a manifesto that glorifies Christ and reveals how intimately linked the Gospel and marriage are. It is a challenge to all couples to fight for more than ordinary in their married life. And it is a call to all believers to lift up marriage as God’s institution for making and growing disciples of Jesus. These are lofty concepts, but Ryan and Selena communicate them with authenticity and real world experience, Biblical teaching and hard earned wisdom. In each chapter they share some aspect of their story as a couple, delve into Scripture and unpack what it tells us about marriage, lay out some of the guidelines they’ve developed for their own relationship, and provide some questions for the reader’s reflection. All throughout, they go again and again to the Gospel of Jesus. Everything they say starts and ends with him. In their words, “God is not merely first on our priority list; he is the list. Without him, everything falls apart… To a person who trusts Jesus, nothing matters more than him but everything else matters more than before because of him.” If you’ve read other marriage books and found them overly academic or theoretical, you’ll find this one refreshingly easy to read. They have a conversational style that makes it feel more like a well organized collection of blog posts than chapters in a book. That’s not to say the book is easy to get through – you’ll find yourself stopping to underline, highlight, make notes, or just sit and ponder often. You’ll probably be uncomfortable
academy252 More than 1 year ago
This book is not limited to newly married or engaged couples.  Couples of all ages can certainly benefit from the stories and advice in this book.  It is written by a couple so you get both the male and female perspective on each situation throughout the book.  It is written from a biblical perspective and approaches marriage from a gospel approach.  Our marriages should glorify God.  Marriage is a picture of God's good news to the world through Jesus Christ. Their message is meant to strengthen and heal marriages in a world where marriage is failing daily in many homes.  I highly recommend this book no matter what stage you are in in your marriage or if you are engaged and looking toward a marriage in the near future.  It is loaded with scripture and biblical advice.  Marriage was God's idea so it just makes total sense to me that His Word should be our guide.  I love this book so much and give it a 5 out of 5 stars with no qualms.  
Teadrinker More than 1 year ago
After more than 17 years of marriage, our marriage is in a good place, but I still enjoy an occasional marriage book. I found Fierce Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick to be a inspiring read and full of encouragement for couples to keep their marriage centered in Christ if they have been married awhile and to start with their marriage in Christ if they are newlyweds. Fierce Marriage starts out with the Fredericks sharing their personal story of their early marriage years. Then throughout the book they encourage couples through their story to keep the marriage covenant, to keep their marriage centered on Christ and what that means, to communicate and connect fully, to agree on how they spend their money and steward their resources, how to fight fairly and how to fight for their marriage. Each chapter in the book shares stories from Ryan and Selena with a little bit from each of their viewpoints. At the end of each chapter, are a few questions to ask and reflect on together. I found Fierce Marriage to be an encouraging and engaging read. I liked how they mixed their story with solid information on creating a good marriage in light of living for Christ. I also like how they share their story honestly and straightforwardly. Reading this book is like sitting down with the Fredericks while they share and encourage. I would encourage any married person or couple to read this book, no matter how many years they have been married as it is a good reminder of the importance of putting God first in the marriage and just how that can play out in different areas of life. I think it would also be a great book for a couple getting married. I received this book from the publisher, Baker Book Publishing. I was not required to write a positive review.
joyful334209 More than 1 year ago
Fierce Marraige Is a fierce book on marriage; it isn't preachy It is pulling you into a conversation. They pull you into their marriage with GOD as their center and demonstrate how you can do that for your own marriage. This book is wonderful for anyone in everyone. It is so very helpful and it teaches you so very much about love and life and sharing that with your spouse with GOD as your guide and your focus. Having GOD as your reckless love - your heart's desire first - then everything else will fall in line. It is so refreshing how wonderful this book is. I received a copy of this book from the Publisher; all of the opinions in this review are all my own. if you would like to read more of my Christian book reviews go to
JLYoung More than 1 year ago
Fierce Marriage by Ryan and Selena Frederick isn't your typical marriage book! From the beginning of the book the authors claim their book is not just helpful and it's not just hopeful, as some marriage books tend to be. Their book is both helpful and hopeful. I found this to be true over and over again in the book. I was a bit distracted at the beginning by some platitudes and a really long drawn out story. When the story ended however, the book picked up. I felt like the explanation for the super long story was mediocre at best. I wanted to have a clearer understanding why they spent the time they did at the very beginning of the book to tell the story. The beginning of a book is such a critical time to grab the readers attention and keep them reading. While I never understood why they included as much detail to the story as they did, I understood what they were generally trying to say with the story. I wished the beginning of the book would have been different. That aside, I loved the book from there on out. The authors don't take for granted that the reader knows what basic scriptural concepts are. They clearly explain the gospel and why it is so important for marriage. Scripture is constantly referred to. The part I love the most is that the authors don't focus on solving symptoms, on putting a bandaid on a broken marriage. They clearly state that it's only through heart change, brought on by the gospel, that marriage can be fierce! YES!!! When I read that I almost said "YESS!!!" out loud. I loved how genuine the authors were. They talked openly about their struggles and built a rapport with the reader in such a great way. Overall I would give this book 4 stars. They have great experience to share and everything is explained through the lens of the gospel. Great book. I received a copy of this book from Baker Books in exchange for my honest review. The thoughts stated here are my own.
JustCommonly More than 1 year ago
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7-8) Authors, Ryan and Selena Frederick of Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love approached readers with profound insight on the covenant of marriage. They are honest in their own struggles as well as their goals towards a covenant that strengthens the bond of their marriage. This is not the typical marriage dos and don'ts, but a series of topics that ties into what brings forth a healthy marriage wrapped in God's intentional love. "Friendship us rewarding, but here's the bottom line: intentional communication takes work. . ." (129) I find many aspects enlightening, but also relatable, as personal stories and understanding made it so. I also find the honesty of the authors welcoming, giving readers a perspective easy to communicate. Reading Fierce Marriage with your spouse may be a good way to start the intentionality the authors refer to. In all, with topics on communication, commitment, finances, intimacy and conflict resolution with biblical references, Fierce Marriage focuses on God's love and intention for marriage - a great read for any marriage. "Every lasting change in our hearts is the result of God's work, not our own. . . With Christ, every conflict in marriage is a gracious reminder to rest in and extend His love. " (80/194) Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review, and have not been compensated for this. This is my honest opinion.
Amaack More than 1 year ago
I was pleased to find that the focus of Fierce Marriage is the reminder put Christ at the center of your marriage. To recognize that marriage is a reflection of what God is doing in our lives. It's an echo of the covenant of love that God has made with us. The Fredericks put it this way: "A husband and wife in a gospel-centered marriage will never expect each other to be perfect. Instead, they full expect to fall short and always trust that Jesus is more than enough to meet their every need (2 Peter 1:3)." Ryan and Selena Frederick point us towards how to bring the gospel back towards the center of our priorities, communication, money, sex, and conflict all within the context of marriage. This book is filled with personal anecdotes that help illustrate the message and also often infuse a bit of levity into a book that could be considered a seriously heavy topic. I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.
George Chou More than 1 year ago
Review comes from a busy family with many small kids. We wouldn't write a review unless it's really worth it. First, few quick thoughts. 1) I suggest you read the book twice, as I did. Then buy a few for friends ask them to do the same. 2) The content will light a fire under you to pursue your spouse more intentionally, and show you where you are not. 3) It will challenge you to walk deeper with God the way a mirror shows you what you really look like underneath. 4) You can't read a book with the word "Fierce" in the title and not expect it to call you out or step on your toes. Be warned! Rick and Selena Frederick pretty much put their hearts on a platter as they share their lives through a love relationship. The theme of God's Covenant (which is refreshingly counter-cultural to a dead religious society) runs through every page beginning with their own marriage story and how they actually work out this relationship in their daily lives in money, sex, conflict, and future. Both their aggressive nature and their kind spirit show in the writing. This book is chalked full of real world, biblical, unchanging wisdom from God's word and the voice of two authentic and transparent people. In fact, a part of Chapter 9 is titled "Fight Naked." Go read it yourself. It's hilarious! The truth is every bit of Rick and Selena Frederick's book is about being emotionally and spiritually transparent with a covenant keeping God in Christ Jesus. I personally liked Chapter 4: "Gritty Love" the most. Many fierce quotes from a couple who are not asking for permission to be themselves or to have a strong marriage. I personally hope they write another book in the future about family and legacy! Lastly, I want to say this book won't just hand you vision and purpose for your own marriage. Instead, they point you to a relationship with the person of Christ Jesus and you have to go ask Him yourself. They will show you what happens when a marriage is purposefully walking out who they are simply meant to be in a world that is looking for real hope!
JBirdMedic More than 1 year ago
This book has it all. From biblical foundations and principles, to biblical references to common marriage issues and solutions. All the while this book has a personal relatable tone to it. Ryan and Selena take turns with topics and this helps both male and female perspectives. This book has all that, and its major inexpensive! Great value and already making a difference in our marriage!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I usually gravitate towards marriage books by pastors and older and wiser couples. But the Fredericks count I guess as a younger and wiser couple. This is a great book, very challenging, and I'm learning a lot, even after 11 years of marriage. This and the " Persuit" books will be top of my list for recommendation for young and older married couples. I got a free copy, but this is my honest opinion. Great book!
Caleb Crouch More than 1 year ago
There's nothing that will ever be able to replace the voice of the Lord. No book, podcast, blog, or any other form of media can dethrone or diminish God's Word. Therefore, when I read a book that claims to help grow our marriages into the image of Christ, I hold it to the highest of standards; God's Word. I truly believe Ryan and Selena have earnestly and diligently studied the scriptures to make sure that they convey what a gospel-centered marriage that is rooted in a covenant love looks like. With all the lights on and windows and doors wide open, Ryan and Selena humbly share life experiences that they have been through and continue to journey through. Never once do they perceive themselves to have arrived atop the marriage summit nor do they consider themselves experts but claim that the Word of God is the one true source. I fully acknowledge that there is wisdom from couples that have been married for decades, but for me, it's encouraging to read a book that is written by a couple who's in the same life stage as me. As a result, it seems as though the godly wisdom given by them isn't quite as intimidating to pick up and use. I not only enjoyed reading Fierce Marriage my faith and marriage has been strengthened and encouraged as a result of it.
Writingsof_Rosie More than 1 year ago
A wonderful, encouraging book that propels you to view your marriage in light of the Gospel. Everything this book covers was thoughtful and well-said. Ryan and Selena’s work both inspired and challenged me to be more selfless in my marriage, among other things. Throughout the book they examine what it looks like to be Christ-centered, communication that builds up instead of tearing apart, fighting fair, and so many other things. Perhaps I set the bar too low, but I was really blown away by all the Biblical principles that were discussed and tied to what a Godly marriage looks like. It revealed some unfortunate habits in my life that I am prayerfully working on. The beauty is this, Ryan and Selena are not condemning in any way. Rather, they point you to Christ and to His example. They show a better way, and sympathize with human failings because they aren’t perfect either. They are super vulnerable and open, sharing about several of their marriage struggles in the past and how they worked through them to get to where they are now. Whether your marriage is healthy and thriving, or struggling and barely surviving, you ought to check this one out. I haven’t read too many marriage books, but this one sticks out to be as one of the best out there, purely because of the way they point to the Gospel. This book will strengthen you, ground you, and encourage you to press on in the good work of loving your spouse. I’m excited to see the impact this book has! I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in return for an honest review of my opinions, which I have done. Thanks!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is simply amazing! What a great guide for marriage that most marriage books have lacked for a long time; reinforced with scripture making it sound-proof. The struggles that the husband-and-wife coauthors speak about is relatable on every platform. I cannot speak enough light into this book; you'll just have to read to understand the impact it will have on you, your marriage and any relationship with family or friends.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you are married, or are thinking about getting married, add this book to your cart. You won't regret it. Most marriage books offer you lots of how-to's or Bible verses on marriage without really giving you ways to solve problems. Fierce Marriage pulls a 180 on all that and offers a fresh, honest look at marriage through the lens of the gospel. The authors are incredibly transparent in their writing, and they won't try to beat you over the head with theology. They do, however, provide sound, scriptural insight into topics such as finances, intimacy, and the covenant of marriage. The authors are very down to earth, using real world experiences to convey their ideas. If you are looking for tangible ways to improve your marriage and love your spouse well, look no further than Fierce Marriage.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I got my copy earlier than the release date, so I dove right in. It's an incredible read that starts with the authors' story, goes into foundational marriage principles, and dives into practical application for the major areas of marriage. Definitely recommended!