For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men

by Shaunti Feldhahn

Overview

Discover the Truth He Wants You to Know...
 
The man in your life carries important feelings so deep inside he barely knows they’re there, much less how to talk about them. Yet your man genuinely wants you to “get” him—to understand his inner life, to know his fears and needs, to hear what he wishes he could tell you.
 
In her landmark bestseller, For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals what every woman—single or married—needs to know. Based on rigorous research with thousands of men, Shaunti delivers one eye-opening revelation after another, including:

• Why your respect means more to him than your love.
• How he feels deep inside about his role as provider.
• What it means for a man to be so visually “wired.”
• Why sex for him is primarily emotional, not physical.
• What he most wishes he could say to you.
 
Now, in this expanded and updated edition, you’ll find insights from the latest brain research plus an all-new chapter that shows what’s really going on when he seems to “check out.” (You’ll be surprised and pleased.)
 
Millions worldwide have experienced dramatic change in their relationships because of the “aha” moments and practical ideas in this little book. Discover how to love your man for who he really is.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781601424440
Publisher:	The Crown Publishing Group
Publication date:	03/19/2013
Edition description:	Revised
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	44,794
Product dimensions:	5.32(w) x 7.16(h) x 0.78(d)

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn is a popular speaker, best-selling author, and groundbreaking social researcher. Her findings have been featured in media as diverse as Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, the New York Times and Cosmo. With a master’s degree from Harvard University, Shaunti has worked on Wall Street and Capitol Hill. Now she applies her analytical skills to illuminating surprising truths about relationships. She and her husband, Jeff, live in Atlanta with their two children.

Read an Excerpt

For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition

What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men

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By Shaunti Feldhahn

Multnomah Books

Copyright © 2013 Shaunti Feldhahn
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9781601424440

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Light Bulb On!

How I Woke Up to What I Didn’t Know About Men

The other half of the people on the planet already know what you’re going to read in this book.

As newlyweds, my husband and I lived in Manhattan, and like all New Yorkers, we walked everywhere. But I quickly noticed something strange. Quite often we’d be strolling hand in hand and Jeff would abruptly jerk his head up and away. We’d be watching in-line skaters in Central Park or waiting to cross the street in a crowd, and he would suddenly stare at the sky. I started to wonder, Is something going on at the tops of these buildings?

Turns out, something was going on, but it wasn’t up in the buildings.

Have you ever been totally confused by something the man in your life has said or done? Looking at your boyfriend’s rapidly departing back, have you ever wondered, Why did that make him so angry? Have you ever been perplexed by your husband’s defensiveness when you asked him to stop working so much? Yeah? Me too.

But now, after interviewing and surveying thousands of men, I can tell you that the answers to those and dozens of other common perplexities are all related to what is going on in your man’s inner life. Most are things he wishes you knew but doesn’t know how to tell you. In many cases, they’re things he has no idea you don’t know. This book will share those interviews and those answers. But be careful. You might be slapping your forehead a lot!

I can tell you that the answers to dozens of common perplexities are related to what is going on in your man’s inner life.

How It All Started

Let me tell you how I got here. It all started with the research for my second novel, The Lights of Tenth Street. One of my main characters was a devoted husband and father. Because I had to put thoughts in his head, but had no idea what a guy would be thinking in a given situation, I interviewed my husband, Jeff, and many other male friends and colleagues. (“What would you be thinking if you were the character in this scene?”) It took me a while to figure out how to handle what I found.

You see, in many cases, what I heard stunned me. Not just because what the men were thinking was so surprising but because it was so foundational. These weren’t feelings that popped up every few months but were deep fundamental needs, fears, doubts, and thought patterns that occur in men every single day. It didn’t matter whether the man I was talking to was old or young; what his racial or cultural background was; whether he was married or single, a churchgoer or an atheist, a corporate executive or a factory line worker—I kept hearing similar things.

The character in my novel was a good guy who loved his wife and kids, was a devoted churchgoer and godly man, and a successful businessman. But he struggled with his thought life, especially the visual temptations that beckoned from every corner, from the secret traps of the Internet to the overt appeal of the miniskirt walking down the street. So, in short—and this is what shocked me—I discovered that instead of being unusual, my character was like almost every man on the planet. Including the faithful husbands I was interviewing.

That revelation led to a host of others, and following those trails led me to the thousands of personal and written interviews with men—including several professional, nationally representative surveys—that form the core of this book. I interviewed close friends over dinner and strangers in the grocery store, married fathers at church and the single student sitting next to me on the airplane. I talked to CEOs, attorneys, pastors, technology geeks, business managers, the security guard at Costco, and the guys behind the counter at Starbucks. I even interviewed a  professional opera singer, a household-name movie star, and a former NFL offensive tackle with a Super Bowl ring. No one was safe.

Continues...

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Excerpted from For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition by Shaunti Feldhahn Copyright © 2013 by Shaunti Feldhahn. Excerpted by permission of Multnomah Books, a division of Random House, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Editorial Reviews

Praise for For Women Only
“Shaunti’s signature message, which she has shared around the world with millions of listeners, is life changing and something every woman needs to hear. Every time I have given someone this book, I have seen lives and marriages changed!”
—Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times best-selling author of Made to Crave

“This one short, little book brings a long-lasting, big impact on marriage—which is why I've been taking groups of women through a For Women Only study every year since I first read it. Shaunti’s message has impacted my relationships personally, and I’ve seen some amazing transformation in the lives and marriages of others.” 
—Holly Furtick, Lead Pastor's wife, Elevation Church, Charlotte, NC

“What an important book!”
—Beth Moore, Bible teacher, bestselling author of So Long Insecurity

“In our weekly couples’ study we read and discussed both For Women Only and For Men Only over the course of several months. They were fascinating and very helpful. The findings in these books about how men and women think are so enlightening. My wife and I think these books should be required premarital reading!”
—Comedian Jeff Foxworthy  

“You’re about to gain some fresh insight into some of the mysteries of masculinity.  For Women Only is a book that I believe will provide understanding and bring harmony to a lot of marriages.”
—Bob Lepine, cohost of FamilyLife Today

“Ready for an eye-opener? Shaunti Feldhahn has uncovered a mountain of meaningful information for any woman wanting to understand men at a profound level.”
—Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University; authors of Love Talk

“Men are in agreement on this one:  For Women Only is one book every husband wishes his wife would read! It is a practical, thought-provoking message that will show you what you should do – and not do – when it comes to your relationship with the man in your life.  Read it, and you’re bound to have many ‘aha!’ moments that could revolutionize your relationship.”
—Valorie Burton, bestselling author of Successful Women Think Differently and What’s Really Holding You Back? 
 
“Navigating the differences between men and women might be impossibility if it weren't for Shaunti's insight and inspiration. For Women Only is a treasure box that never seems empty of wisdom. Every time I dig in, my hands and heart emerge filled with tools that help me know myself better and relate to the people I love more effectively. If you've already read it, you should read it again. And if you are just opening these pages for the first time, buckle a seat-belt over your soul and get ready for a ride you won't soon forget.”
—Priscilla Shirer, best-selling author of One in a Million

“For Women Only is the best book I have read for women, about men. Shaunti's research, facts and stories in this little book create an incredible read for all women. Single, married, divorced or not even allowed to date yet should all read this and come to understand the key truths that will help in your relationship with any man. I bought a copy, read it, was astonished, and then bought ten more and sent them to everyone on our team.”
—Craig Gross, founder of XXXchurch.com

“We purchased 9,000 copies of Shaunti’s book, For Women Only, and gave one to every woman in our congregations as part of a special Sunday morning event. I interviewed Shaunti on stage during all our worship services. The response was incredible. She has an engaging, compelling way of presenting her findings about how men think. It helped open the eyes of women to the real needs of the men in their lives, and it gave men a common language to use to talk about these things with their wives. I urge churches and other groups to give her the opportunity to share this message.”
—Andy Stanley, author of Enemies of the Heart; Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church, Alpharetta, GA
 
Praise for For Men Only and For Women Only
 “Whenever Shaunti Feldhahn appears as a guest on the Focus on the Family radio program, we know that listener response will be enthusiastic. She has a way of connecting with the audience that is unique and compelling. We’re thankful for the unique perspective she provides not only to the Christian community, but to the culture at large.”
—Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“These are the books I pass out to people as the best on the subject. Shaunti Feldhahn has the rare ability to do impeccable research and then make her findings incredibly practical. There is something to learn on every page.”
 —Jim Burns, PhD., President, HomeWord and author of Creating an Intimate Marriage  

“Whatever Shaunti Feldhahn researches, read. Actually, do more than read…study!  Shaunti’s ability to ask the right questions, find the right answers and communicate the results clearly and practically sets her apart as a gifted researcher. Her content guides and changes lives.”
—Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D., best-selling author, Love and Respect

“Shaunti Feldhahn has a unique gift for helping men understand women, and women, men. Her books, For Women Only and For Men Only, are the best I know at providing rich and practical gender understanding that can be used immediately. I highly recommend both all the time!”
—Robert Lewis, author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight; founder, Men's Fraternity

“Shaunti Feldhaln has the unique gift of communicating a Christian worldview in a language everyone, Christian or secular, understands. Her experience and educational background qualify her to speak and write authoritatively about relationships and how people respond. I personally have seen and felt the impact of her research. She is the "go-to" person for our organization when we need insight.”
—Phil Waldrep, founder, Women of Joy Conferences and Phil Waldrep Ministries, Decatur, AL
 

From the Publisher

Praise for For Women Only
“Shaunti’s signature message, which she has shared around the world with millions of listeners, is life changing and something every woman needs to hear. Every time I have given someone this book, I have seen lives and marriages changed!”
—Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times best-selling author of Made to Crave

“This one short, little book brings a long-lasting, big impact on marriage—which is why I've been taking groups of women through a For Women Only study every year since I first read it. Shaunti’s message has impacted my relationships personally, and I’ve seen some amazing transformation in the lives and marriages of others.” 
—Holly Furtick, Lead Pastor's wife, Elevation Church, Charlotte, NC

“What an important book!”
—Beth Moore, Bible teacher, bestselling author of So Long Insecurity

“In our weekly couples’ study we read and discussed both For Women Only and For Men Only over the course of several months. They were fascinating and very helpful. The findings in these books about how men and women think are so enlightening. My wife and I think these books should be required premarital reading!”
—Comedian Jeff Foxworthy  

“You’re about to gain some fresh insight into some of the mysteries of masculinity.  For Women Only is a book that I believe will provide understanding and bring harmony to a lot of marriages.”
—Bob Lepine, cohost of FamilyLife Today

“Ready for an eye-opener? Shaunti Feldhahn has uncovered a mountain of meaningful information for any woman wanting to understand men at a profound level.”
—Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University; authors of Love Talk

“Men are in agreement on this one:  For Women Only is one book every husband wishes his wife would read! It is a practical, thought-provoking message that will show you what you should do – and not do – when it comes to your relationship with the man in your life.  Read it, and you’re bound to have many ‘aha!’ moments that could revolutionize your relationship.”
—Valorie Burton, bestselling author of Successful Women Think Differently and What’s Really Holding You Back? 
 
“Navigating the differences between men and women might be impossibility if it weren't for Shaunti's insight and inspiration. For Women Only is a treasure box that never seems empty of wisdom. Every time I dig in, my hands and heart emerge filled with tools that help me know myself better and relate to the people I love more effectively. If you've already read it, you should read it again. And if you are just opening these pages for the first time, buckle a seat-belt over your soul and get ready for a ride you won't soon forget.”
—Priscilla Shirer, best-selling author of One in a Million

“For Women Only is the best book I have read for women, about men. Shaunti's research, facts and stories in this little book create an incredible read for all women. Single, married, divorced or not even allowed to date yet should all read this and come to understand the key truths that will help in your relationship with any man. I bought a copy, read it, was astonished, and then bought ten more and sent them to everyone on our team.”
—Craig Gross, founder of XXXchurch.com

“We purchased 9,000 copies of Shaunti’s book, For Women Only, and gave one to every woman in our congregations as part of a special Sunday morning event. I interviewed Shaunti on stage during all our worship services. The response was incredible. She has an engaging, compelling way of presenting her findings about how men think. It helped open the eyes of women to the real needs of the men in their lives, and it gave men a common language to use to talk about these things with their wives. I urge churches and other groups to give her the opportunity to share this message.”
—Andy Stanley, author of Enemies of the Heart; Senior Pastor, North Point Community Church, Alpharetta, GA
 
Praise for For Men Only and For Women Only
 “Whenever Shaunti Feldhahn appears as a guest on the Focus on the Family radio program, we know that listener response will be enthusiastic. She has a way of connecting with the audience that is unique and compelling. We’re thankful for the unique perspective she provides not only to the Christian community, but to the culture at large.”
—Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“These are the books I pass out to people as the best on the subject. Shaunti Feldhahn has the rare ability to do impeccable research and then make her findings incredibly practical. There is something to learn on every page.”
 —Jim Burns, PhD., President, HomeWord and author of Creating an Intimate Marriage  

“Whatever Shaunti Feldhahn researches, read. Actually, do more than read…study!  Shaunti’s ability to ask the right questions, find the right answers and communicate the results clearly and practically sets her apart as a gifted researcher. Her content guides and changes lives.”
—Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D., best-selling author, Love and Respect

“Shaunti Feldhahn has a unique gift for helping men understand women, and women, men. Her books, For Women Only and For Men Only, are the best I know at providing rich and practical gender understanding that can be used immediately. I highly recommend both all the time!”
—Robert Lewis, author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight; founder, Men's Fraternity

“Shaunti Feldhaln has the unique gift of communicating a Christian worldview in a language everyone, Christian or secular, understands. Her experience and educational background qualify her to speak and write authoritatively about relationships and how people respond. I personally have seen and felt the impact of her research. She is the "go-to" person for our organization when we need insight.”
—Phil Waldrep, founder, Women of Joy Conferences and Phil Waldrep Ministries, Decatur, AL