Forever Love

Forever Love

by Vicki Case

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Overview

To lose someone you love through death is tragic. Losing someone you love-your soul mate and best friend-via an ambiguous and unexpected text message is devastating; it can destroy your soul. When you lose a loved one, you go through the process of grieving that enables you to accept their loss and eventually let go. When the person you love severs you from their life and walks away without offering an explanation, how can you do the same? How can you understand and accept the loss so that you can move on with your life?

Forever Love is a collection of poetry that considers the process of rebuilding a life after such a callous and devastating loss. The fourth volume in a series, it explores how author Vicki Case worked through this dark period in her life, searching for closure and answers to her questions. In the midst of her grief, she discovered the power of the written word in healing and began composing poetry that reflected the raw emotions she was experiencing.

Forever Love contains soul-revealing and vividly honest descriptions of her emotions as she looked for a way to move beyond the hurt and devastation of a love lost.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781452512129
Publisher: Balboa Press
Publication date: 11/14/2013
Pages: 182
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.39(d)

Read an Excerpt

Forever Love


By Vicki Case

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2013 Vicki Case
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1212-9



CHAPTER 1

A Garden of Love

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until the day I met you

Stocks are orange
Chrysanthemums can be lime
I very much need to tell you
Just what's on my mind

Hydrangeas are variegated
Echinacea are green
Just like your beautiful eyes
Gorgeous & pristine

Daffodils are yellow
Lilies' are white
My dreams of you
Vivid & bright

Hibiscuses are many colours
Calla Lilies are wine
How I very much want
Our bodies to entwine

Carnations are multi-coloured
Silver thistles are grey
Forever & a day
In love with you I'll stay

Iris's are cream
Pansies come in colours galore
My love for you
To vast to ignore

Lavender is purple
Orchids are peach pink
It worries me deeply
Just what you think.


A Poem

Love gave me the words
Tragedy gave me a voice
Heartbreak gave me courage
A lost soul gave me a path

God gave me a gift
My faith gave me strength
Pain gave me humility
Dreams gave me a future

Writing gave me an escape
Singing gave me salvation
Performing gave me confidence
Cycling gave me a punishment

Family gave me support
Friends gave of themselves
My animals gave me love
Home gave me sanctuary

Satan gave me an offer
Depression gave me time
Anger gave me a release
Losing you gave me a choice

Technology gave me an audience
Royalty cheques gave me a reward
My books made me a writer
Poetry gave me the world


A Broken Nobody

I make others' laugh
While inside I'm dying
There's someone in the girl; but
When away alone I'm crying

The darkest voyage
A broken nobody
A devoted thorn
With you I was somebody

Our forgotten nights
Your cold silence
Was it my corpulence?
Or divine providence?

A dream in my tears
A wish in my prayers
But there's nothing I can do
For a life without you prepares

We stood together
At the gate of a beginning
Although our love
We knew we'd be sinning

I had no idea then
That my meeting of you
Would change everything
In my life forever too


The Big Black Dog Came Calling

The big black dog came calling
Sniffing at my door
Offering to take away the pain
Promising a new tomorrow

A tomorrow that has no pain
No memories of the past
Just peace and quiet serenity
An offer too good to refuse

His calling was persistent
Relentless to say the least
Just a few brief moments
It could all be mine

He promised to return again
This time I'll go with him
No remorse; no sorrow; no shame
A new beginning on offer

I await his next visit
My mind is almost there
Just what path I've chosen
Is yet to be seen

I want to go with him
I want release from these chains
Anything must be better
Then continuing this façade

So until his next visit
I'll plan the path I'll take
Hand in hand together
Tomorrow here we come


Dinner with Satan

I want to suicide
In front of your eyes
So I can see your face
As I say my goodbyes

Tonight, it's so dark
I've never known such darkness
I'm so scared to move; and
Fall into the deep emptiness

I've sat at the table
With Satan at the head
And all the while
The negotiations he lead

Tonight
I'm going cheap
And this he knows as
All I can do is weep

I scream out to God
"I can't do this anymore"
While Satan laughs aloud
Knowing he's going to score

There's no fight left
I'm ready to deal
While you're off elsewhere
Not caring how I feel


Depression

Depression!
It is the pits
Like riding a roller coaster
Without all its bits

I've searched the Internet
For an easy way out
The method doesn't matter
For all and sundry; I scout

What amount of pills?
To the hangman's noose
I search for anything
That will cut me loose

Do you have any idea?
What you took from me
The day you broke my heart
And SMS'ed me; I'm free

You stripped me clean
Leaving yourself pristine
Then pissed off and left
Without feeling a bit mean

Your only thoughts
Were all about you
Didn't care what you left
Look at what you did do


The Chronicle of a Journey

A trilogy of books written
About the same man
What other man can say?
He knows such a loving fan

Three books in six months
Who would have guessed?
But as it's said for the wicked
There is to be no rest

I write to remember
I write to heal
I write so there'd always
Be a record of how I feel

He knows the depth
Of my love for him
I've told him often but
He thinks it's a whim

In all our time together
I only ever once did ask
Just one thing of him; but
It was too much of a task

I so want him to call
But I am so scared
Scared that if he does
I'll again be laid bare


Forsaken!

My Lord God
Why have thou forsaken me so?
For I have not forsaken thee
Although I'm so alone and low

I pray to you often
Although it's the same request
But there's still no answer
Are you at that address?

If I am to be forsaken
I can deal with that
But please watch over and
Protect my beloved; stat

I'd sacrifice myself for him
But; he's not that kind
He was the first to scarper
When he got in a bind

Do you have any idea?
Just how many times
I've wanted to give up
As my life no longer shines


A Cry for Help!

I pinned your photo
To my punching bag
Beat the crap out of it
Until it was a rag

I then dropped and cried
Before calling Lifeline
But you wouldn't care
You're doing just fine

They so wanted to help
As I cried and I cried
But what could they do?
It was you who had lied

Just one lie
One broken promise
That all it took
To destroy me my Adonis

You did more damage
Than any other before you
But you didn't care
You did what you do

You ruined a love
You destroyed a soul
You tore open my heart; and
You took a toll


I Believed in You

My dearly beloved
You are my significant other
No one can take your place
There will never be another

But my heart today
It's barely held together
With rubber bands and tape; and
This way it will remain forever

The clouds of darkness
They won't go away
Encircling my head
That's where they stay

When I lost you
I spiralled into a nose dive
From which there's no recovery
I just can't survive

You took my love
You took me to bed
You played with my heart; and
Messed with my head

Then you ditched me
Like an old used food can
I sincerely believed
You were a better man


Was I So Wrong?

I entertained Satan
At home last night
He was the perfect guest; and
Understood my plight

Just take hold of my hand
And go with him to hell
Believe me tonight
It wasn't a hard sell

So why do I procrastinate?
There's nothing for me here
Since you dumped me
There's nothing left to fear

If I am going to crash
Will you be there?
To catch me as I fall
Or don't you care?

How could I have gotten it?
So damn wrong
Loving and believing
With you that I belong


He'll Never Know

He'll never know just how much I love him
He'll never know how much I care
He'll never know the way he makes me feel
His presence; his smell; his smile

We met at the end of winter
Brought together by chance
Both with a joint goal to achieve
Both with a role to play

He made me feel wanted
He made me feel worthwhile
He made me feel special
Something I've missed for sometime

Shown another side of me
A side concealed by years of torment
An inner courage and strength I'd lost
A renewed sense of value and worth

Frightened to show my feelings
A fear they may be rebuked
Only heightened the love and admiration
Growing more intense each passing day

My dreams are filled with fantasies
Of imaginings of lust filled moments
Of a love so warm and deep
A love we'll most likely never know

How do I tell him I love him?
How do I tell him I care?
How do I tell him it's him my thoughts are of?
Every minute of every day


No Where to Turn

With no one to turn to
My heart is breaking
Since I lost you
I'm alone and hurting

My Lord God
I seek you out in pain
My heart is aching;
This; I do not fain

I will never forget you
For whom I weep
It's been hard on me
Since you chose to leap

Will I again know happiness?
The like I found with you
Or am I forever destined?
To live a life always blue

There is no instruction manual
On how to deal with loss
Since I lost you
My life has lost its gloss

I don't know what God
He has planned for me
Not looking forward to the journey
I'll just have to wait and see


It's Been So Hard

I can't fathom why
The sea is me calling
Perhaps into it I am
Meant to be falling

To wash away the heartache
To cleanse me of my pain
All the while it's you who
Has everything to gain

Losing you
Has been so hard on me
You can't possibly imagine
The scars left you'll never see

Men always hurt me
Now that I can take
But I never thought you'd
Another scar on me make

I get so damn angry
I get so damn mad
It's not you I want to hurt
It's always me; that's so sad

You closed your eyes
Severed all possible contacts
That way you're assured
Never to know the facts


I Still Love You

Not wanting to hurt you
He; who hurt me so
I found the power of word
Yet he doesn't know

My poetry; it is new
Since you; discovered
But I'm still learning
What's inside; still uncovered?

What sort of person?
For their own self gain
Can do this to another
Knowing it will result in pain

The promise that you made me
Just empty words of shit
You never intended to keep it
Not even a little bit

Looking back now
I did all the giving
You did all the taking; and
I was ripe for the picking

But you know what's worse?
There isn't a single day
That I don't think of you
Although I'm in decay


Love, Words & Feelings

There is a beauty
In the heart of a lover
Who has given their heart?
Totally; to another

Words; are so powerful
Words said in a single breath
They can create a life; or
Send another to its death

Feelings are not a commodity
To be used; then discarded
Feelings given freely
Should be highly regarded

The ultimate display of love
Is putting the happiness
Of the one that you love
Above your own happiness

Loving you; I've known
The highest of highs
And the lowest of lows
Since you SMS'ed goodbyes

You lied to me handsome
You'd probably do it again
I've never lied to you; and
To that; I'll always refrain


Words of the Heart

I write from the heart
As I have from the start
And each and everyday
Since we've been apart

My love for you
Is true and divine
You are truly amazing
Matured like a fine wine

When I met you
Something shifted inside me
Something no one else could
And you; you were the key

Now you are the other half
Of the woman I now am
But when I lost you
It came with a wham!

I have a beautiful heart
But now it is nothing
Without you in it
It's lost all its bling

I am so truly sorry
That I disappointed you so
But I gave you my all
There's nothing left to behold


Hooray!

As I tighten the noose
Around my neck
My last thoughts will be of you
And our first peck

That night in your office
19-08-2010
When our affair began
You could no longer pretend

You summoned me
Not the other way around
Because within me
A love you found

You said that you had wanted
To kiss me for a while
And once you had
You were left beguiled

But lying next to you
Our bodies entwined
Is the best memory
I will ever find

So as I step from the ladder
My thoughts only of you
I know that I'll miss you
As I pray you will me too.


Adieu!

Tonight you must die
So that I may live
Because your love to me
You refuse to give

Metaphorically speaking
That's how I must now think
Because losing you
Pushed me to the brink

Without you my beloved
I am a broken wing
Without you in my life
My heart no longer can sing

So ashes to ashes
And dust to dust
I have to let you go
It's become a must

So one last kiss
To your photo I adore
And I buried it deep
To curse me no more


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Forever Love by Vicki Case. Copyright © 2013 Vicki Case. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

A Garden of Love, 1,
A Poem, 2,
A Broken Nobody, 3,
The Big Black Dog Came Calling, 4,
Dinner with Satan, 5,
Depression, 6,
The Chronicle of a Journey, 7,
Forsaken!, 8,
A Cry for Help!, 9,
I Believed in You, 10,
Was I So Wrong?, 11,
He'll Never Know, 12,
No Where to Turn, 13,
It's Been So Hard, 14,
I Still Love You, 15,
Love, Words & Feelings, 16,
Words of the Heart, 17,
Hooray!, 18,
Adieu!, 19,
Limbo!, 20,
A Shattered Soul, 21,
A Chimney Sweep!, 22,
Words!, 23,
You are a Snake, 24,
I am a Fool, 25,
You Have No Idea, 26,
Next Time I'll Listen, 27,
Karma!, 28,
How Could You?, 29,
So!, 30,
Misery, 31,
My Beacon, 32,
What If?, 33,
I'm Dying, 34,
Used & Tossed, 35,
The Nights, 36,
Betrayed, 37,
My Love Is Effortless, 38,
I Can't Forget You, 39,
One Day Handsome, 40,
My Love for You, 41,
The Iceberg Rose, 43,
My Suffering, 44,
You Inspired Me!, 45,
Lessons Learnt, 46,
A Broken Woman, 47,
Heaven & Earth!, 48,
Three!, 49,
Forever Love!, 50,
My Mistake!, 51,
You!, 52,
I'll Be There, 53,
Love is Forgiveness!, 54,
Words of Satire!, 55,
I Paid the Price, 56,
My Armageddon!, 57,
Your Broken Promise!, 58,
Thwarted of Love, 59,
I'm Not, 60,
Now & Beyond, 61,
My Legacy!, 62,
Enough!, 63,
Unanswered Prayers!, 64,
How!, 65,
Squeaky Clean, 66,
Lost!, 67,
My Wish!, 68,
My Bequeath, 69,
Thoughts of You, 70,
The Villain, 71,
Inferno!, 72,
Tears, 73,
Man Up !!!, 74,
Crying Out, 75,
Your Decision, 76,
Defeated, 77,
The Passion & Pain, 78,
My Fate!, 79,
Sorrow!, 80,
Drowning!, 81,
Vulture's Circling, 82,
Satan's Visits, 83,
Sad!, 84,
Footprints Upon My Heart, 85,
The Analogy, 86,
Meaningless Words, 87,
Nothing Less, 88,
Three, 89,
Our Love Story, 90,
Unforgivable, 91,
My Burden, 92,
My Sentence, 93,
2012, 94,
The Purple Journal, 95,
Poetic License, 96,
Friends, 97,
Christmas 2012, 98,
You Played Me!, 99,
My Eyes Don't Lie, 100,
2012-2013, 101,
Men!!, 102,
Stand Alone!, 103,
A Woman's Hand, 104,
My Inner Strength, 105,
Vancouver, 106,
They (Men!), 108,
I Still Dream, 109,
Poetry; My Gift, 110,
Kindred Spirits, 111,
Thank You Handsome, 112,
Losing You Was A Blessing, 113,
You Do Love Me, 114,
You're Not Worthy, 115,
My Letters, 116,
My Poetry Books, 117,
I'm Not Okay, 118,
The Love Triangle Game, 119,
Your Love For Me, 120,
Modern Day Hadrian, 121,
You Broke My Heart, 122,
You Are My Hero, 123,
I'm So Stupid!, 124,
Love Is Not Enough, 125,
Your Callous Indifference, 126,
Rainy Days, 127,
My Heart Ruled My Head, 128,
Maise, 129,
Valentine's Day 2013, 130,
Peter, 131,
Will I?, 132,
'Hit & Run', 133,
I Still See Your Face, 134,
The Monkey On My Back, 135,
Honorable Intentions, 136,
Indifference, 137,
Emerald in the Dream, 138,
Love in the Twilight, 139,
Words!, 140,
Luminary, 141,
Poetry, 142,
Poets, 143,
Words of Love, 144,
Words, 145,
Expression, 146,
Forever Love, 147,
Songs, 148,
Seventh Heaven, 149,
Poets!, 150,
I've!, 151,
The Time Has Come, 153,

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