Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate

Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate

by Leslie Leyland Fields, Jill Hubbard
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Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
MRS1 More than 1 year ago
I have always enjoyed reading Leslie Leyland Fields books, and her newest book, Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers doesn't disappoint. Leslie's book is so beautifully written. The stories are told with eloquence and compassion. Leslie understands the subject of forgiveness all too well and shares with the reader her own personal experience with learning to forgive a parent. She gives comfort for those who've suffered due to a parent's abuse or neglect. Leslie gets us to think about our relationships and how they can be made better through forgiveness. I found that each of the stories she shared were profoundly touching. Leslie's book is not about placing blame, but about healing and forgiveness. Dr. Jill Hubbard gives added insight and shares her own story of forgiveness. The Bible verses and study questions at the end of each chapter are very helpful. They lead the reader toward a better understanding of our need to forgive and of God's forgiveness. We see the abused and the abuser in a different light. We are reminded many times in this book of our humanness, and without excusing the abuser, it gives us a better understanding of why some people abuse others. I enjoyed reading this book and was brought to tears many times as I read the accounts of suffering and abuse, but also of the ability of the abused to forgive and love their abuser. I will definitely recommend this book and share it with others. I would also recommend Leslie's first memoir, Surviving the Island of Grace, which gives more in depth telling of Leslie's own story.
MiamiKel More than 1 year ago
Have you ever thought about forgiveness and said "I did nothing wrong, someone else did!" Have you asked yourself "Why read yet another book on forgiveness? How exactly do I move past the hurt? What do you mean make amends?" Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers by Leslie Leyland Fields and Dr. Jill Hubbard will not only shed light on that very idea, but give you the tools for incredible leaps towards closing the forgiveness gap. This book is so refreshing in it's wonderful inclusion of faith and scriptural strength without being over the top. It's subtle enough to understand God's desires for us to forgive those that have trespassed against us but firm in the reasons why and hopes for forgiveness. I nodded in agreement as they equated forgiveness with Jonah's journey and how sometimes being so dutifully wrapped up in the inability to forgive, we miss essential ways to move beyond. Dreams are misguided, life goes off course, hopes seems lost. However, rather than live with a hardened heart, we must look past the hurt, albeit is absolutely warranted in it's reason, and focus more on what Jesus asks of us: Forgive us our debts. He is the life and breath that we take and in each of those intakes, we must offer love and redemption - even if it's only for ourselves. The inclusion of thought provoking Study Questions at the end of the chapters is a nice touch. It expands on the topics discussed in the chapters and allows you to apply it to your own life and circumstances, giving much room for thought and processing. While enlightening, I did find this book heavy on the personal stories (of author Leslie Fields) and countless stories included in this book from others around the globe. What I took away from this book is in forgiving others, you have the incredible ability to let go. You can let go of the pain, the hurt, and move on towards a better quality of life. To humble ourselves and show mercy in offering that forgiveness is freeing. I received this book for an honest review from BookLook/Harper-Collins and was not required to write a positive review. Any reflection of such is my own and this review is an honest reflection of such.
Lyn52 More than 1 year ago
The author is honest and transparent in her description of her own struggles. My own experiences were no where near as difficult as hers, but so many of us seem to have issues that come up in life that can be traced to our experiences with our family of origin. I found extremely helpful information and truth that I was able to apply to my own life and relationships. I have also passed this book on to a couple of people who I know had very difficult childhoods that impacted them throughout their adult lives. I would highly recommend this book if you struggle with a difficult relationship with a family member, not just a parent.
Dolphins72 More than 1 year ago
This book is co-written by a writer and a psychologist, with the writer narrating her own journey and that of a number of others and the psychologist adding each chapter’s afterword and study questions.  This book covered its topics thoroughly, with a large fraction involving personal narrative, both biblical and personal, and I thought it could have used a lot more insight by the psychologist, as the individual stories were too long and the portion aimed at personal application too short. The book’s perspective left me dissatisfied, as it felt one-size-fits-all.  Because the author linked forgiveness with an unending pursuit of relationship with a parent by the child, the few adult children who were said to let their parental relationship lapse were viewed as unforgiving.  In my opinion, forgiveness and reconciliation were bound too closely together in this presentation of the topic of forgiveness, and not enough room was left for the Lord’s leading and working in an adult child.   There are rare parents who not only offer nothing beneficial, and have no intention of doing so, but who, for the sake of their own egos, consume their children.  Forgiving them and letting them go can be a healthy option.  The book pushed hard on adult children to attend to their parents’ deathbeds, dedicating a couple of chapters to the topic, on the premise that such is an indication of honoring your parent.  You can honor a parent without having to seek emotional or geographical closeness.  To force an infirm parent by pressing for such a thing can actually be dishonoring.  Sometimes God leads people to lay down the hope for a loving parent, which was never presented as an option in this book. The approach to forgiveness presented would be good for a person whose parent did not intentionally continue to hurt them, either by abuse or neglect.  If there is goodwill on both sides, this brand of forgiveness is likely to work, but if abuse or neglect continue to be a strong component in a parent-child relationship, I would not recommend this book. I received this book for free in exchange for my unbiased review through the Thomas Nelson BookSneeze Program.
Pastor-Mark More than 1 year ago
I began to read this book with an eye toward using it in providing pastoral counsel to members of our church.  I still plan to use it as a  tool in that capacity, but in the course of reading it I found myself frequently stopping to reevaluate my own journeys toward forgiveness. Leslie and Dr. Jill have provided a resource to help those struggling with forgiveness, whether of their parents or others, find tools to  successfully find freedom from the bitterness and hate that accompany an unforgiving heart.  The choice to forgive is ultimately yours, but if you so chose you will find help in the pages of this book.  
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
None of us have had (or are) perfect parents and so this book has much to offer all of us. The title gives us the purpose of the book; the subtitle offers the reason why we should read it. The author takes us not only alonside her journey, but shares views of several others' experiences that help illustrate the points explained in the nine chapters. The corresponding wrap-ups by clinical psychologist, Dr. Jill Hubbard, give extra insight to each step and ten study questions encourage further commitment to the process before beginning each next chapter. This book does not intend to simply point fingers in guilt and shame; it offers hope and healing which requires some work. There are numerous references to the Bible which will understandably qualify this book for religious and Christian bookshelves. They should not, however, discourage someone with no Biblical understanding or belief from benefitting from the rich resources this book brings to us. I requested and received an Advance Reader's Copy from the author.  This review and my recommendation are my own.