Free Yourself From an Abusive Relationship: Seven Steps to Taking Back Your Life
256Free Yourself From an Abusive Relationship: Seven Steps to Taking Back Your Life
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Overview
If you are in an abusive relationship — or know someone who is — and don’t know what to do, this book can help. Free Yourself from an Abusive Relationship provides a practical seven-step plan that restores power and gives hope to those suffering abuse.
Step 1: Recognizing Abusive Behavior defines types of abuse ranging from physical, sexual and emotional to the lesser-known financial, social and spiritual abuse, and describes how to identify early signs of abuse.
Step 2: Learning About Abusers and Victims helps you identify patterns of abusive behavior. This step also addresses special issues, including abuse in rural communities and between same-sex partners, as well as child, teen and elder abuse.
Step 3: Preparing for Emergencies provides essential information on working with courts and local law enforcement, and describes how to create a safety plan.
Step 4: Getting Help After a Crisis gives guidance on dealing with immediate needs such as medical treatment, money, work and transportation, and planning for the long term.
Step 5: Making the Decision to Stay or Leave helps you evaluate your individual circumstances and decide what course of action is best for you.
Step 6: Learning to Heal and Rebuild outlines the different stages of healing and recovery and offers long-term strategies for overcoming the effects of abuse.
Step 7: Remaining Abuse Free helps you move on to a full, productive life, choose healthy relationships and avoid abuse in the future.
At every step, checklists help you to assess a situation and determine the best plan of action. Written for those who confront the daily reality of abuse, this book will be your lifeline to freedom.
Product Details
ISBN-13: | 9780897932578 |
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Publisher: | Turner Publishing Company |
Publication date: | 01/21/2000 |
Pages: | 256 |
Product dimensions: | 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x (d) |
About the Author
Richard Kraus, Ph.D., is a Florida state-certified assessor for batterers’ intervention groups for men and women and has extensive experience counseling victims of domestic violence.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments | x | |
Preface | xi | |
Introduction | 1 | |
Step 1 | Recognizing Abusive Behavior | |
Chapter 1 | Identifying Abuse | 8 |
Patterns of Domination and Control | 9 | |
The Domestic Violence Cycle | 9 | |
Types of Abuse | 11 | |
Chapter 2 | Emotional Abuse | 13 |
Patterns of Emotional Abuse | 14 | |
Emotional Abuse Inventory | 31 | |
Chapter 3 | Physical Abuse | 33 |
Patterns of Physical Abuse | 33 | |
Physical Abuse Inventory | 35 | |
Chapter 4 | Sexual Abuse | 37 |
Patterns of Sexual Abuse | 37 | |
Rape | 38 | |
Incest and Other Sexual Abuse of Children | 39 | |
Sexual Abuse Inventory | 41 | |
Chapter 5 | Social Abuse | 42 |
Patterns of Social Abuse | 43 | |
Social Abuse Inventory | 43 | |
Chapter 6 | Financial Abuse | 45 |
Patterns of Financial Abuse | 45 | |
Financial Abuse Inventory | 46 | |
Chapter 7 | Religious and Spiritual Abuse | 48 |
Patterns of Spiritual Abuse | 48 | |
The Misuse of Religious Doctrine | 48 | |
Religious and Spiritual Abuse Inventory | 50 | |
Step 2 | Learning About Abusers and Victims | |
Chapter 8 | Recognizing Abusers | 52 |
Characteristics and Attitudes of Abusers | 53 | |
Female Abusers | 57 | |
Abuser Inventory | 58 | |
Chapter 9 | Recognizing Danger Signals | 60 |
Indicators of Potentially Dangerous Behavior | 61 | |
Potential Danger Inventory | 63 | |
Chapter 10 | Victims of Abuse | 65 |
Myths About Victims of Abuse | 65 | |
Why Victims Stay in or Return to Abusive Relationships | 67 | |
Victim Dependencies | 77 | |
Mutual Dependency | 82 | |
Examining Your Reasons for Staying in or Returning to an Abusive Relationship | 83 | |
Chapter 11 | Specific Victim Circumstances and Concerns | 87 |
Abusers with Money, Influence, and Power | 87 | |
Cultural Concerns | 90 | |
Male Abuse Victims | 93 | |
Victims in Rural Areas | 94 | |
Same-Sex Partners | 97 | |
Victims with Disabilities | 99 | |
Abuse During Pregnancy | 100 | |
Chapter 12 | Abuse at Different Ages | 102 |
Abuse of Children | 102 | |
Adolescents, Teenagers, and Dating Violence | 110 | |
Abuse of Seniors | 114 | |
Step 3 | Preparing for Emergencies | |
Chapter 13 | Violent Crisis and Emergency Situations | 118 |
Emergency Plans and Safety Plans | 118 | |
If You Leave Home During a Crisis | 122 | |
Remaining at Home | 124 | |
Taking Care of Children in a Crisis | 127 | |
Avoiding Child Abduction | 128 | |
Hostage Taking | 129 | |
Stalking | 130 | |
Chapter 14 | The Legal Process | 133 |
Civil and Criminal Courts and Protective Orders | 134 | |
Protective Orders | 135 | |
Criminal Court Procedures | 142 | |
Victim-Related Court Concerns | 143 | |
Mediation | 144 | |
Court Advocates | 145 | |
Attorneys | 147 | |
Federal Laws and Civil Lawsuits | 148 | |
Step 4 | Getting Help After a Crisis | |
Chapter 15 | Getting Help Immediately After a Crisis | 152 |
Medical Attention and Evidence | 152 | |
Support from Family and Friends | 155 | |
Community Resources and Shelters | 157 | |
Chapter 16 | Getting Help for the Longer Term | 160 |
From Victim to Survivor | 160 | |
Keeping Safe After a Crisis | 161 | |
Money Matters | 163 | |
Immigration Help | 164 | |
Work Issues | 164 | |
Transportation Issues | 167 | |
Step 5 | Making the Decision to Stay or Leave | |
Chapter 17 | Evaluating Your Relationship | 170 |
The Examination Process | 170 | |
Restricting Abuser Communication | 174 | |
Abuser Assessment | 175 | |
Effects on Children | 176 | |
Assessing the Impact on You | 177 | |
Examination Do's and Don'ts | 178 | |
Evaluation Questions for Victims of Abuse | 180 | |
Chapter 18 | Planning for Change | 182 |
Forming Realistic Expectations | 182 | |
Building Alternatives to Abuse | 183 | |
Making Goals and Plans | 185 | |
Rebuilding Your Sense of Self | 186 | |
Establishing Nonabusive Boundaries | 187 | |
Chapter 19 | Taking Action | 191 |
Taking Action | 192 | |
The Decision to Stay or to Leave | 198 | |
Step 6 | Learning to Heal and Rebuild | |
Chapter 20 | Healing and Rebuilding | 206 |
Grief and Abuse | 206 | |
After Grief | 211 | |
Healing Strategies | 213 | |
Long-Term Rebuilding and Restoration Strategies | 218 | |
Chapter 21 | Counseling After Abuse | 221 |
Why Seek Counseling? | 221 | |
Choosing a Counselor | 223 | |
Programs for Abusers | 225 | |
Couples Counseling | 228 | |
Depression | 231 | |
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | 233 | |
Step 7 | Remaining Abuse-Free | |
Chapter 22 | Precautions for Your Protection | 236 |
General Safety Precautions | 236 | |
New Dates and Acquaintances | 239 | |
New Relationships | 240 | |
Precautions for Seniors | 240 | |
Rape Safeguards | 242 | |
Safeguards to Avoid Child Abduction | 243 | |
Chapter 23 | Maintaining Your Life Free from Abuse | 246 |
Establish and Maintain Financial Security | 247 | |
Know Your Legal Rights | 249 | |
Maintain Healthy Personal Behaviors | 252 | |
Maintain Individual Interests and Relationships | 256 | |
Teach Your Children Nonabusive Behavior | 266 | |
Welcoming a Life Without Abuse | 269 | |
Appendix 1 | A Heritage of Violence | 270 |
Appendix 2 | Collaborating in Your Community | 274 |
Appendix 3 | A Victim's Bill of Rights | 276 |
Resources | 277 | |
Notes | 280 |