From Conflict to Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading

by Marlene Chism

Overview

Unresolved conflict is workplace kryptonite. Learn how to develop the mindset and skills to defuse disagreements, overcome division, and turn conflict into an opportunity for growth.

Unresolved workplace conflict wastes time, increases stress, and negatively affects business outcomes. But conflict isn’t the problem, mismanagement is.

Leaders unintentionally mismanage conflict when they fall into patterns of what Marlene Chism calls “the Three As:” aggression, avoidance, and appeasing. “These coping mechanisms are ways human beings avoid the emotions that come with conflict, but in the end it’s all avoidance,” says Chism. In this book she shows how to fearlessly deal with conflict head-on by expanding your conflict capacity.

Conflict capacity is a combination of three elements. The foundation is the Inner Game—the leader’s self-awareness, values, discernment, and emotional integrity. The Outer Game is the skills, tools, and communication techniques built on that foundation. Finally, there’s Culture—the visible and invisible structures around you that can encourage or discourage conflict.

Chism offers exercises, examples, and expert guidance on developing all three elements. Leaders will discover techniques to increase leadership clarity, identify obstacles, and reduce resistance. They’ll develop powerful skills for dealing with high-conflict people and for initiating, engaging in, and staying with difficult conversations.

Readers will learn that when they see conflict as a teacher, courageously face it, and continually work on transforming themselves, they can get the resolution they are seeking. They can change minds.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781523000722
Publisher:	Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date:	05/03/2022
Pages:	224
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Marlene Chism, president of Marlene Chism Consulting, works with leaders to build drama-free cultures that drive growth and reduce costly mistakes. Chism is an advanced practitioner in narrative coaching, a LinkedIn Learning instructor on the global learning platform, and the author of four books including Stop Workplace Drama, No Drama Leadership, and 7 Ways to Stop Workplace Drama in Your Healthcare Practice. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications from Drury University and a master’s degree in human resources development from Webster University.

Table of Contents

Preface ix

Introduction: Conflict Is Not the Problem 1

Leaders have an opportunity to be a channel for chaos or a catalyst for clarity.

1 Conflict Capacity: Comfort Is Not a Requirement 17

Skills development that doesn't lead to embodiment is just a notch above entertainment.

2 Identity: The Price of Being Too Nice 39

The story that's been resolved no longer needs to be told.

3 Leadership Clarity: Staying the Course 59

Leadership identity is about how you see yourself, and leadership clarity is about how you see the situation.

4 Emotional Integrity: Anger Is Not the Truth 79

Think of blame as a shortcut for avoiding responsibility.

5 Environmental Impact: Structure Determines Behavior 101

Our perceptions and interpretations create structures of knowing.

6 Resistance Training: Working with High-Conflict People 119

Disruptive people will continue to be disruptive as long as no one has the courage to confront them.

7 Skills: A Blueprint for Difficult Conversations 141

The answers will come through the conversation, not before the conversation.

8 Responsibility: The Recognition of Choice 167

When you find your choice, you find your power.

Conclusion: It's Worth It 187

Study Guide and Book Club Facilitation 189

Notes 195

Bibliography 197

Acknowledgments 199

Index 201

About the Author 207

Editorial Reviews

Leaders who know how to manage conflict to get positive results know how to attract and keep business. From Conflict to Courage highlights many of the tools and techniques we offer our franchise owners to help them become the outstanding leaders they are today. It is a very practical and excellent how-to guide.”
—Bill Stoller, CEO and founder, Express Employment Professionals
 
“From Conflict to Courage offers leaders a vision of how to become change agents by addressing conflict and modeling the behaviors that promote trust, collaboration, and inclusion. A must-read for leaders at every level of an organization.”
—Vladimir and Danijela Kovačević, cofounders, Inovatec
 
“For most leaders, conflict is something to avoid at all costs. In From Conflict to Courage, Marlene Chism makes the case for why we need to rethink how we view conflict and provides readers with an actionable blueprint for how to handle those difficult conversations and achieve greater alignment in their organization.”
—Tanveer Naseer, MS, Inc. Top 100 leadership and management expert, award-winning leadership writer, leadership podcast host, and author of Leadership Vertigo
 
“We call them ‘difficult conversations.’ They’re part of a leader’s job. However, too many leaders avoid those conversations whenever they can. In this book, Marlene Chism makes the case for why difficult conversations are an opportunity to improve. Even better, she tells you how to do it. If you’re a leader, especially one who avoids difficult conversations, this book should be on your must-read list.”
—Wally Bock, author, blogger, and writing coach

From the Publisher