"This book is one you never want to have to read. It's also the book everyone should read."
--From the Foreword by Jana DeCristofaro, LCSW, The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families
"A poignant memoir and de facto guide for caring for a loved one."
--BJ Miller, MD, Hospice & Palliative Medicine Physician
"Frank, tender, real, and ultimately optimistic, Future Widow is the ultimate gift for someone going through the unthinkable."
--Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult and Real American
"Lisk's honesty is both compelling and instructive."
--Allison Gilbert, author of Passed and Present and Parentless Parents
"In her gripping personal account of caring for her terminally ill husband, Jenny Lisk illustrates through her lived experience how to maintain hope and, at the same time, prepare for an unwanted future."
--Justin Yopp, PhD, Psycho-Oncologist, author of The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life
"This isn't just a story of surviving--it's also a story of thriving."
--Gina Warner, Founder, Badass Women's Book Club
"A profoundly moving memoir and resource, this book provides a guide for future or current widows and widowers who are parenting grieving children."
--Mary Robinson, MA, CT, CNN Hero and Founder and Executive Director, Imagine, A Center for Coping with Loss
"This book provides valuable insights into dealing with personal loss and coming out on the other side, and shares a behind-the-scenes account of caring for a critically ill spouse that will be helpful to healthcare providers and families alike."
--Charles S. Cobbs, MD, Director, Ivy Center for Advanced Brain Tumor Treatment, Swedish Neurosciences Institute
"Riveting, real and all too relatable, the kind of stuff you tell your friend in a late-night call when no one can hear you cry. Stunning."
--Leslie Gray Streeter, author of Black Widow: A Sad/Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like 'Journey' in the Title
2021-07-01
A detailed memoir serves as a guide for patient advocates/caregivers whose significant others have terminal illnesses.
In May 2015, Lisk’s “forty-something” husband, Dennis, told her he had been “feeling a little dizzy lately.” She urged him to call his doctor, and he made an appointment to visit the physician in three weeks. Over the next few days, he began to show signs of increasing short-term memory loss and confusion. The author took over after the first week and got a same-day appointment. Dennis was immediately sent for an MRI, and, within an hour, the couple received unexpected and devastating news from the doctor: “ ‘There’s something really wrong with your brain,’ he said….‘It might be glioblastoma. You need to see the neurosurgeon tomorrow.’ ” (Glioblastoma is an especially aggressive cancer.) And so began an excruciating eight-month marathon during which Lisk took on the role of medical manager and full-time caregiver as well as de facto single parent to the couple’s two children, only 8 and 10 years old at the time. Early on, the author’s sister set up a blogging page for her on the social media forum CaringBridge. “I had no idea at this point,” Lisk writes, “that blogging was about to become my vehicle for speaking to my corner of the world. My refuge in a time of crisis and chaos.” This meticulous memoir is a selected collection of writings culled from those blogs. Each post is followed by long sections that expand on and give context to the early, just-the-facts CaringBridge entries. It is in these passages, despite some repetition, that the author clearly articulates the sadness and exhaustion during those months of losing her husband bit by inexorable bit. She did share one especially poignant moment with her CaringBridge followers: On Dec. 13, 2015, her daughter asked if she could give her father his Christmas present that day—in case he died before the holiday. Sure, Lisk decided, because on Christmas “he won’t remember that he already opened it.” Fellow travelers will find a soul mate in these pages, plus some helpful tips and resources.
A heartbreaking but forthright, informative, and ultimately forward-looking cancer account.
