Getting to Yes with Yourself: (and Other Worthy Opponents)

by William Ury

Overview

William Ury, coauthor of the international bestseller Getting to Yes, returns with another groundbreaking book, this time asking: how can we expect to get to yes with others if we haven’t first gotten to yes with ourselves?

Renowned negotiation expert William Ury has taught tens of thousands of people from all walks of life—managers, lawyers, factory workers, coal miners, schoolteachers, diplomats, and government officials—how to become better negotiators. Over the years, Ury has discovered that the greatest obstacle to successful agreements and satisfying relationships is not the other side, as difficult as they can be. The biggest obstacle is actually our own selves—our natural tendency to react in ways that do not serve our true interests.

But this obstacle can also become our biggest opportunity, Ury argues. If we learn to understand and influence ourselves first, we lay the groundwork for understanding and influencing others. In this prequel to Getting to Yes, Ury offers a seven-step method to help you reach agreement with yourself first, dramatically improving your ability to negotiate with others.

Practical and effective, Getting to Yes with Yourself helps readers reach good agreements with others, develop healthy relationships, make their businesses more productive, and live far more satisfying lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062363381
Publisher:	HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:	01/20/2015
Pages:	208
Product dimensions:	5.80(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

William Ury, cofounder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, is one of the world's best-known and most influential experts on negotiation. He has served as a mediator in boardroom battles, labor conflicts, and civil wars around the world. Ury is the coauthor of Getting to Yes, the bestselling negotiation book in the world, and seven other books, including the New York Times bestsellers Getting Past No and The Power of a Positive No. An avid hiker, he lives with his family in Colorado.

Table of Contents

Introduction: The First Negotiation 1

1 Put Yourself in Your Shoes: From Self-Judgment to Self-Understanding 15

2 Develop Your Inner BATNA: From Blame to Self-Responsibility 41

3 Reframe Your Picture: From Unfriendly to Friendly 65

4 Stay in the Zone: From Resistance to Acceptance 89

5 Respect Them Even If: From Exclusion to Inclusion 115

6 Give and Receive: From Win-Lose to Win-Win-Win 143

Conclusion: The Three Wins 169

Acknowledgments 179

Notes 185

About the Author 191

Editorial Reviews

Wise and realistic, noble and practical, brilliant and approachable, Ury has created a definitive body of work on how we can get to yes in our conflicted world. Here he turns to the hardest negotiation of all: with ourselves. Yet again, Ury has done a tremendous service with his work.” — Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, and co-author of Built to Last and Great by Choice

“We have met our enemy at the negotiating table—and it is us. Ury has written a much needed prequel to his classic Getting to Yes. If you adopt the winning strategies in this book, you’ll come out ahead in business and in life.” — Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive

“William Ury sheds light on how we can reach more satisfying and successful agreements with the person in the mirror. With his signature blend of stories and sage advice, he offers a wealth of practical insight for improving our decisions and our relationships.” — Adam Grant, Wharton professor and author of Give and Take

“William Ury untangles challenges that bedevil even the most experienced negotiators: how can I get what I want when I don’t know what I want? Along with Getting to Yes, this book may be his most important contribution to the fields of negotiation and conflict management.” — Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen, authors of Difficult Conversations and Thanks for the Feedback

“Ury shares an approach that builds confidence and connection in a way that will leave you feeling energized and fulfilled. Every woman and man will be more effective by starting within before entering negotiations with others.” — Joanna Barsh, director emeritus, McKinsey & Company, and author of Centered Leadership

“The best negotiators are the ones who are at peace with their own, internal negotiations first. There is no finer guide to take us on that journey than William Ury.” — Simon Sinek, optimist and author of Start With Why and Leaders Eat Last

From the Publisher

The best negotiators are the ones who are at peace with their own, internal negotiations first. There is no finer guide to take us on that journey than William Ury.

Simon Sinek

William Ury sheds light on how we can reach more satisfying and successful agreements with the person in the mirror. With his signature blend of stories and sage advice, he offers a wealth of practical insight for improving our decisions and our relationships.

Adam Grant

We have met our enemy at the negotiating table—and it is us. Ury has written a much needed prequel to his classic Getting to Yes. If you adopt the winning strategies in this book, you’ll come out ahead in business and in life.

Daniel H. Pink

Ury shares an approach that builds confidence and connection in a way that will leave you feeling energized and fulfilled. Every woman and man will be more effective by starting within before entering negotiations with others.

Joanna Barsh

Wise and realistic, noble and practical, brilliant and approachable, Ury has created a definitive body of work on how we can get to yes in our conflicted world. Here he turns to the hardest negotiation of all: with ourselves. Yet again, Ury has done a tremendous service with his work.

Jim Collins

William Ury untangles challenges that bedevil even the most experienced negotiators: how can I get what I want when I don’t know what I want? Along with Getting to Yes, this book may be his most important contribution to the fields of negotiation and conflict management.

Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen