Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

by Jayson Gaddis
Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships

by Jayson Gaddis


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Relationship teacher, coach, and founder of The Relationship School Jayson Gaddis reveals the origins of conflict styles, how to stop avoiding difficult conversations, and how to resolve conflict in our most important relationships.

Conflicts in our closest relationships are scary because so much is at stake. If the conflict doesn't go well, we could lose our marriage, our family or our job, all connected to our security and survival. So we do just about anything not to lose those relationships, including avoid conflict, betraying ourselves or becoming dishonest. Unresolved conflict affects every single aspect of our lives, from self-confidence to physical and mental health.

Jayson Gaddis is a personal trainer for relationships and one of the world’s leading authorities on interpersonal conflict. For almost two decades, Gaddis has helped individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. He helps people see the wisdom in conflict and how to get to zero—which means we have successfully worked through our conflict and have nothing in the way of a good connection.

In Getting to Zero, Gaddis shows the reader how to stop running away from uncomfortable conversations and instead learn how to work through them. Through funny personal stories, uncomfortable examples, and effective tools and skills, he shows the reader how to move from disconnection to connection, acceptance, and understanding. This method upgrades the old tired and static conflict resolution approaches and offers a fresh, street-level, user-friendly road map on exactly how to work through conflict with the people you care most about.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780306924811
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 10/05/2021
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 667,387
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.30(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Jayson Gaddis, author, podcaster, speaker, and “personal trainer for relationships,” is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection. He got tired of complaining that street-level relationship skills are not taught in school, so he founded The Relationship School, an impact-based company dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and teams work out their differences in order to have indestructible relationships. He is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching® and the Getting To Zero Method™. He’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 and has two beautiful kids. They live in Boulder, Colorado. 

Table of Contents

Part 1 Before Conflict-What is Conflict and What is Zero?

1 My Life of Conflict 3

2 What is Conflict? 19

3 How Most People Do Conflict 35

4 How to Become a Relational Leader 47

5 Your Relational Blueprint 57

6 Your Scared Animal 71

7 The Price Tag of Avoiding Conflict 85

Part 2 During Conflict-How to Get to Zero

8 How to Resolve Your inner Conflict 107

9 How to Be With Your Triggers During Conflict 125

10 How to Be With Their Triggers During Conflict 143

11 How to Listen During and After Conflict 157

12 How to Speak During and After Conflict 175

Part 3 Do's & Don'ts of Conflict-How to Stay at Zero

13 The Five Most Common Fights and How to Face Them 197

14 The Ten Roadblocks to Reconnection and What to Do Instead 219

15 The Twelve Agreements to Ease Conflict 239

16 How to Resolve Value Differences 251

17 If You Can't Get to Zero 267

Conclusion 289

Acknowledgments 293

More Resources 301

References 305

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