Getting What You Want and Deserve: Proven strategies for taking control of the most difficult situations

Getting What You Want and Deserve: Proven strategies for taking control of the most difficult situations

by Muriel Solomon

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Overview

Getting What You Want and Deserve: Proven strategies for taking control of the most difficult situations by Muriel Solomon

Do you have to deal with an intimidating boss? Meddling in-laws, nagging spouses, mud slinging colleagues, manipulative friends, defiant teens, insensitive doctors, or obnoxious neighbors? An easy-to-use handbook full of practical solutions, Getting What You Want (And Deserve) shows you how to convert the anger generated by these aggravating relationships into creative energy, take control of the most difficult situations, and come out the winner. Drawing on over four decades of professional communication experience, Muriel Solomon can teach you how to think and speak strategically. You'll discover how to clearly state your goal, explore ways to achieve it, and then develop the strategies, scripts, and tactics to influence the outcome. As you free yourself from the manipulative webs spun by your opponents, you'll learn how to make others feel good about doing what you want. You'll not only be able to confront people in ways that resolve difficulties, but you will learn how to transform these troublesome situations into golden opportunities. Concise, practical, and effective, Getting What You Want (And Deserve) provides immediate relief from the pain inflicted by infuriating relationships.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781567315448
Publisher: MJF Books
Publication date: 12/01/2002
Pages: 253

Table of Contents

Introductionxv
Part AProfessional Relationships1
Chapter I.Bosses3
1.Spare the Ultimatum: Tell Me What You Want: Taming tyrants who freak out when displeased4
2.SOS--I'm Swamped: When excessive assignments are constantly dumped on you7
3.Here's What I'm Worth; Let Me Tell You Why: Overcoming the fear of asking for a raise10
4.Big Brother Is Watching, and It's Disconcerting: When you're angry that the boss monitors your computer usage13
5.I Was Only Trying to Help: Choosing between taking the initiative and being employed16
6.I Don't Intend to Play Your Blame Game: Protecting yourself when you're the scapegoat19
7.It's a Mistake, but It Didn't Merit the Riot Act: Responding to a tongue-lashing you didn't deserve22
8.Do You Mind If I Put That in Writing? When your boss habitually backs out of a promise25
Chapter II.Associates27
9.I Think We Need to Come to an Understanding: Bringing into line challengers to your authority28
10.Let's Pull on the Same End of the Rope: Getting prima donnas to do what's required31
11.Make Peace, Not War: When feuding workers go on the warpath34
12.We Have a Conflict, So Let's Try to Resolve It: Dismissing an unpredictable, potentially dangerous sabotcur37
13.No One Likes a Tattletale: Querying informers who may be malicious troublemakers40
Chapter III.Colleagues43
14.Say It to My Face or Not at All: Confronting backstabbers and gaining their respect44
15.Don't Even Think about Sandbagging Me Again: Handling an underhanded surprise attack in front of others47
16.Hold Your Fire--We Need to Work Together: When rivals spread rumors or sling mud at you49
17.Stop Stealing from Me! Reclaiming ideas or turf from thieving colleagues52
18.I Don't Want Any Part of Your Misconduct: When a coworker presses you to do something wrong54
19.Your Jokes Aren't Funny--They're Digs: How to look good after jokers lampoon your achievement56
20.Cease and Desist with the Disses: Using humor when boorish clods enjoy ridiculing you58
21.We Can Salvage This: When partnerships are threatened by intense disagreements61
Chapter IV.Clients and Customers63
22.I Appreciate Your Business, But...: Handling impatient egotists demanding special treatment64
23.Let's Discuss This in Private: Calming angry folks who are using loud and abusive language66
24.Quit Bullying Me: Stopping unwarranted pestering at home and in the office69
25.It's Time to Fish or Cut Bait: When their vacillating stops the sale72
26.I Made a Mistake; Can We Start Over? Making amends after you step on someone's sensibilities74
27.This Accusation Doesn't Have Merit: When unfounded attacks can ruin reputations or get you fired76
Chapter V.Doctors, Lawyers, and Other Professional Experts79
28.Do You Understand What I Want? Getting the high and mighty to pay attention to what you're saying80
29.Your Arrogance Is Discomforting to Me: When answers to your queries make you feel stupid82
30.In Plain English, Please: When they speak in terms lay people can't comprehend85
31.Love Your Waiting Room, But...: Voicing your complaint about being kept waiting88
Chapter VI.Salespersons and Service Providers91
32.You Sold Me a Bad Bill of Goods: How to complain about a product to get results92
33.This Isn't What I Paid For! How to complain when the service isn't as promised95
34.Excuse Me--Do You Want My Business? When store clerks and other workers ignore your needs98
35.If You Insist on Talking Down to Me...: Responding to condescending people paid to serve you101
36.Either We Work This Out, or You're Out a Customer: When they won't soften strict policies to accommodate you103
Chapter VII.Teachers107
37.Did You Know You Were Speeding in a School Zone? When instructors go too fast and get mad if you ask questions108
38.Because You're Considered an Expert in This Field...: Challenging opinions of instructors who are know-it-alls111
39.Is My Grade Open for Discussion? How to question a grading system that appears irrational113
40.This Isn't Payback Time: You're Paid to Teach Me: When you're the target of an inexplicable vendetta116
Part BPersonal Relationships119
Chapter VIII.Spouses and Significant Others121
41.Let's Be Fair--You Do Your Share: Balancing the load when you're being overburdened122
42.Clue Me In So We Can Both Decide: When major decisions are made without consulting you125
43.I've Never Been So Embarrassed: Stopping humiliation, especially in front of others128
44.Stop Nagging Me: How to instantly stop continual fault-finding131
45.Please Talk to Me: Breaking the barrier when you get the silent treatment134
46.This Isn't Getting Us Anywhere: When a partner exaggerates your faults with name-calling137
Chapter IX.Your Ex139
47.It's Time to Move On: When your former partner refuses to let go140
48.Your Threats Aren't Good for Our Kids: How to handle bullying and tyrannizing143
49.They're Our Kids--Not Our Weapons! When your ex tries to poison the kids' minds against you145
50.Let's Be Fair: Reducing arguments about property settlement148
51.Let's Resolve This, or You'll Be Hearing from My Lawyer: Dealing with your ex's evading judicial decisions150
Chapter XParents153
52.I'm an Adult; I Can Run My Own Life: When they interfere with the way you handle decisions154
53.Stop the Shame Game: Answering constant jabs that imply the fault is yours156
54.Your Name-Calling Isn't Doing Anyone Any Good: Confronting hurtful name-calling and doomsday predictions158
55.Give Me the Benefit of the Doubt: When parents jump to conclusions without waiting for facts161
56.Why Isn't Anything I Do Good Enough? Rejecting parental affronts while accepting their support163
57.Please Respect My Time: Handling unreasonable demands made on your free time165
58.I Just Want What's Best for You: When the more you do for older parents, the worse it gets167
Chapter XITeenagers169
59.Let's Be Certain We Understand Each Other: When your kids won't play by your rules170
60.I Hear You and I Want to Help: When they need to learn how to handle painful experiences174
61.Your Walking Away Won't Solve Anything: When "I don't want to talk about it" ends the discussion178
62.This Is Your Responsibility--Don't Make It Ours: Gaining cooperation instead of doing their chores181
63.I Didn't Raise You in a Barn: When their mess makes a trail throughout the house184
Chapter XIIIn-Laws and Other Relatives187
64.This Is Really No Concern of Yours: Politely telling meddlers to mind their own business188
65.Your Smugness Is a Real Pain: Coping with know-it-alls190
66.Let's Accept It--You're You; I'm Me: What to say when you're the target of sibling rivalry193
67.At Least Our Dog Likes Us: When whatever you do, you can't please your in-laws195
68.Let It Go: When relatives keep digging up old, unresolved grudges197
69.I Don't Have a Saucer of Milk: Curbing family members who are catty199
Chapter XIIIFriends201
70.I Appreciate Your Opinion, But...: When friends try to run your life202
71.The Glass Is Half Full, Too: When negativists spill ice water on all your ideas205
72.Your Condescending Jokes Are Wearing Thin: When your friends know exactly which buttons to push208
73.That's Not Amusing: Blunting the point of your friend's critical wit210
74.Please Listen to Me: When your friend becomes unsupportive and inattentive213
Chapter XIVNeighbors215
75.Can You Keep It Down to a Dull Roar? Dealing with the vein-popping noise from next door216
76.I Know You Must Have Forgotten, But...: Keeping the perennial borrower from taking advantage218
77.I Value Our Friendship, But I've Got to Work, Too: Protecting your time while operating a home-based business220
78.Cut Me Some Slack, Jack: When neighbors are unreasonable and won't budge an inch222
79.Oh Boy, Just What I Wanted: When they bring their dogs to perform in your yard225
Part CAdditional Techniques to Deal with Infuriating Situations229
80.Overcoming the Fear of Approaching Your Boss231
81.Managing Your Own Anger235
82.Lowering Hostility by Retrieving the Right Words238
83.Reducing Worker Frustration with Effective Policies240
84.More Tips for Talking to Teens242
85.In Conclusion: A Dozen Important Reminders245
Index249

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